Coworker question

[cocokitty]

Due to the type of job I have, I have certain clients I will deal with once and never see again and I have clients that drop by fairly often. Anyway, I've tended to noticed, but kept it to myself, that many of the "one timers" are just really more trouble than their worth in a way. I've told this to my friends, boyfriend, and mom when my job comes up in conversation. At the moment, I'm the newest person at my job. I like all of my coworkers, but due to age differences and other issues I'm not "friends" with any of them or hang out with them in nonwork hours. I also don't, because about a month after working there my boss called a meeting. Well, the meeting was about all the employers who were fired, this must have been before I was hired, due to not doing work and people being liked based on friendships rather than their work. He didn't want to see that happen again and that he plans on adding new people. Basically, nothing to do with me. So, yesterday, my one coworker was talking to me about this one client, a one timer, we had who was a PIA. I was drinking coffee and didn't say much than I know what you mean and finished and left. I think my coworker is nice, but I'm not sure I really want to get into these things. On the one hand, she could say I was bad mouthing clients. On the other hand, it's weird because I don't want people to dislike me because I don't do it. My mom says she thinks the coworker just wants dirt on me. What do you think? Do you think it's friendly gossip or something else? Also, do you indulge in this type of thing at work? I.e. talking, even gossiping to a point, about things work related but no coworkers? Good experiences or did you get burned?

[PurseAddict79]

#1: No matter what industry you work in, customers are the ones who pay your salary. Sure they may be a PITA, but they're your bread and butter...

#2: I'd avoid any of the office gossip bs, be it about customers or coworkers. Gossip is gossip. Its unprofessional and immature and it isn't going to help you climb the corporate ladder. Hard work does... and your boss will appreciate your hard work and dedication far more than your attemps to bond with coworkers through bitching about customers.

[plain jane doe]

You are doing the right thing staying out of it. Your behavior at work should be professional, first and foremost. I try to smile and nod, make side jokes, or suggest explanations (maybe he didn't understand these guidelines because he was overwhelmed with x other project, not because he's stupid), just something that makes you seem sympathetic to your coworkers without actually being involved in badmouthing other people. I also don't like to make real friends at work. Eventually it just puts you in the gossip mill.

[ShopGirl647]

I would try to avoid the office gossip but I would keep my eyes and ears open, just no comments on them. You never know when someone in the office will talk about you once they dish some "artificial" dirt that they think it's worthwhile to talk about.

[amanda]

I'd just try and stay sympathetic but positive about the clients when coworkers complain - you can be supportive without getting in to it, kwim? Everyone that has any type of job has things about it that are a PITA and more trouble than they're worth, but that's why we get paid to show up and deal with it for eight hours a day.

[Fetish]

She has nothing on you. You didnt indulge in the conversation, you were mature enough to walk away and disregard anything she had said to you. Although if she is completely malicious, she could turn around and tell everyone a blatant lie but I wouldnt worry about it. Anyone has the potential to lie at anytime. Next time though, I would say something along the lines of: "Well Im sorry you feel that way." If it gets out of hand to the point where she or anyone else is constantly running to you with problems or gossip, politely tell them you are sorry but you arent interested in work place gossip. After all - what if your boss happened to walk by while you are innocently sipping your coffee one lunch break and he overhears another person ranting and raving to you? He might assume you are in on in too. So best to just stray away from all of it. You said it yourself that these people arent really "your type" per say anyway, so it shouldnt matter what they think.

And I applaud you for how you reacted but I for one should have shut my big mouth more times than Ive counted. I have a really hard time controling my emotions and sometimes I just need to let off steam so I go to a trusted person or friend and gossip to them. Does it ever backfire? Of course it does. People are simply untrustworthy. They are jealous of your position, they want to move up higher than you, they want to kiss the bosses ass. Some people will do anything to advance themselves, they will cut everyones throat to do it. Or maybe they are gossipers too and will turn around and tell someone else who isnt necessarily fond of you or again, wants to advance or "do right." Its ridiculous. Gossip and drama is everywhere you go. Last year I worked for an energy company for the city and Ive never experienced so much drama in such a big group of people in my entire life! It just doesnt change. If you (or anyone else for that matter) wants to keep their job, advance in a company and do well, you dont indulge yourself in it and you make smart choices. Even one little slip could ruin your career.

I think I told you about the last drama case I had. I told someone I thought I trusted certain things, he ran to the boss and everything blew up in my face. Then blatant lies were told and how could I defend myself? "Well half of what he says is true.." Yeah it wasnt good. Gossip to me is like a little kid in a candy store! lmao. But when you look at the bigger picture - at the end of the day - is it REALLY worth it? No, its not. Go home and keep a blog or a journal or tell someone else like a friend, who has the same problems.

[redney]

Originally Posted by PurseAddict79

#1: No matter what industry you work in, customers are the ones who pay your salary. Sure they may be a PITA, but they're your bread and butter... #2: I'd avoid any of the office gossip bs, be it about customers or coworkers. Gossip is gossip. Its unprofessional and immature and it isn't going to help you climb the corporate ladder. Hard work does... and your boss will appreciate your hard work and dedication far more than your attemps to bond with coworkers through bitching about customers.

This.

[ProfNot]

Really good advice from all.

CocoK - you handled things perfectly and your mum is right.

[karmenzsofia]

You can be sympathetic and still not get involved, and you can control how much gossip or negative talk you're willing to hear at work. I avoid as much as possible because nothing good ever comes out of it. Nothing.

About what your mom said: IMO, that's kinda paranoid. And if you always expect the worst from people, that's what you'll get, KWIM?

[shy*violet]

I think you're doing the right thing by staying out of the gossip BS.... esp. since you don't know them that well.

[petitechouchou]

Couldn't agree more with previous posts. You are doing the right thing by staying out

[Cheetah7]

I think it's just friendly gossip but nevertheless, it's still gossip and I would try to avoid that as much as possible because things you inadvertently say may be used against you later on down the line. You just never know. On the other hand, you can be friendly with you co-workers without indulging them in the gossip by changing the subject. I think you handled the situation properly.

[gacats]

Yep, I agree with everyone here, just stay out of the mud puddle and play on the sidewalk with the professionals. You'll be happier and cleaner that way.