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ilovetoshop2 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 06:48 PM

I worry about my BF, ALL THE TIME ! IDK what to do, it drives me crazy sometimes. We are long distance so when I dont hear from him for more than a few hours, i go crazy. I start thinking all this bad stuff tht could have happened. A lot of times, I cry and cry and cry until i finally talk to him.
How can I control these feelings??

spoiled_brat · Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:06 PM

Therapy?

juneping · Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:29 PM

agree...may be see a therapist. what are you worrying about? his safety or if he's with someone else??

BagLadie · Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:31 PM

You're worried that something happened to him? Like he was in a car accident? Or are you worried he's with someone else?? not understanding what you mean....

ilovetoshop2 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:49 PM

I worry about something happening to him, so yes safety.
Like right now im worried bcuz he texted me at 7:10pm saying he would be working till later but that he would get online from work so we can talk. It's now 10:48 and nothing.. :/

juneping · Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:51 PM

u r driving yourself crazy....relax. u can't expect him to clue his phone to his ears.
pls see a professional to help you stop worrying. it's something you can't control.

DesigningStyle · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:26 PM

Please say you are 20 years old and this is an insecurity thing, right? If you are over 30 then please get a therapist.

flashy.stems · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:20 PM

yikes. lol. relax! you are going to go mad with stress over nothing!
i agree with DesigningStyle, sorry.
you need friends to talk to about this.. or maybe you need to get our of a long distance relationship. it doesn't seem to suit you, judging by this thread.
good luck.

petitechouchou · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:50 PM

Relax and breath. You should consult with a professional to see if they can help you ease these feelings you have. Good luck

karmenzsofia · Nov 3rd, 2009, 12:18 AM

It sounds like you could be dealing with anxiety, which is a medical condition and not "in your head." Excessive worry, stress, anxiety wear your body down and lead to all kinds of health problems, that's on top of the mental suffering. I would definitely make an appointment with a therapist.

GirlFriday · Nov 3rd, 2009, 02:37 AM

I went through a phase like this soon after I got married. My husband was away, stationed in a politically unstable country in Africa, and I worried about him. But to add to my worry I worked in a hospital and saw so many sad situations where people's health failed them and I worried that would happen to us at a young age (when that's all you see, your start to think that's the norm). One of my friends (who had been married for 9 years and had 3 kids) said she went through the same thing after they were married and it helped me so much. I think my life was going so well I was afraid something would happen to screw it up, but luckily the extreme worry stopped after several months. I think you just have to realize if something did happen, it would be sad, but you would survive, and when you don't worry all the time, you enjoy life so much more. Try to control your irrational fears, and try not to worry about the stuff you can't control. You might be going through a phase, like I did, but if it persists, I would seek counseling.

DesigningStyle · Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:55 AM

karmen, your advice is always tops! Believe me if I ever need advice I am just going to PM you!

ami kio · Nov 3rd, 2009, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by GirlFriday

Try to control your irrational fears, and try not to worry about the stuff you can't control. You might be going through a phase, like I did, but if it persists, I would seek counseling.

Agreed. OP, if you have felt like this for a long time, I definitely think that you should visit a therapist to help you deal with your fears.

sugarjaws · Nov 3rd, 2009, 09:33 AM

I too was (probably still am) a constant worrier. Sometimes its for no reason at all, but it's this constant nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. Before my bf and I moved in together he lived about 1 hour away from me. After work we talked briefly and he said he would call me in about an hour or so, I believe he said he'd call aorund 6 or 7. Well, 6 went by, 7 went by, so I thought okay I'll wait until 8:00 because I know he goes to bed early. I tried calling but no one answered. I kept calling and calling thinking maybe he was in the bathroom, or went out, but he usually brings his cell phone with him. Well, I even woke up around midnight with worry thinking the phone should wake him up. I was so distraught with fear for him that I almost contemplated driving over there to check on him. I didn't. The next morning I tried calling again, nothing. As I was on my way out the door to go to work the phone rang - it was him!!! I was so happy and relieved. Here I am worried about a grown man, but the thoughts that race through your head - you just never know! Anyway, his phone was charging in his bedroom so he never heard the phone ring, and he fell asleep on the couch in the livingroom. By the time he woke up it was around 2 -3 am and he dragged his butt to bed, didn't get my messages until the time he called. I'm sure my messages to him must have been quite amusing.... the first one probably calm and collected, and the last one hysterical!! LOL

Anyway, I understand your fears. With the way the world is today and all the things happening it's normal to be scared, but as others have stated you need to learn to not think the worst. I'm still working on this myself, but sometimes we are who we are and we just need to keep working on these things. I totally take after my mother!!

natalie78 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:03 AM

Please, do yourself a huge favor and seek counseling. This will drive you crazy before long.

But, I know how you feel. I worry about DH all day because of his line of work. He does the same because of my work. I've learned to deal with it by focusing my worry on my own safety, which has saved my butt more than once. Do you have a hobby that you can use to keep your mind occupied?

Nov 2nd, 2009, 06:48 PM	#1
ilovetoshop2 OP Member Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Brazil Posts: 37	constantly worrying I worry about my BF, ALL THE TIME ! IDK what to do, it drives me crazy sometimes. We are long distance so when I dont hear from him for more than a few hours, i go crazy. I start thinking all this bad stuff tht could have happened. A lot of times, I cry and cry and cry until i finally talk to him. How can I control these feelings??

Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:29 PM	#3
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	agree...may be see a therapist. what are you worrying about? his safety or if he's with someone else??
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait... Last edited by juneping; Nov 2nd, 2009 at 07:48 PM.

Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:31 PM	#4
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 7,002	You're worried that something happened to him? Like he was in a car accident? Or are you worried he's with someone else?? not understanding what you mean....
	__________________ If life hands you lemons, make a vodka and lemonade. Then use the rest on your elbows.

Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:51 PM	#6
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	u r driving yourself crazy....relax. u can't expect him to clue his phone to his ears. pls see a professional to help you stop worrying. it's something you can't control.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:26 PM	#7
DesigningStyle Neverfull on my arm! Joined: Dec 2006 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 8,350	Please say you are 20 years old and this is an insecurity thing, right? If you are over 30 then please get a therapist.
	__________________

Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:06 PM	#2
spoiled_brat not spoiled enough Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 2,192	Therapy?

Nov 2nd, 2009, 07:49 PM	#5
ilovetoshop2 OP Member Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Brazil Posts: 37	I worry about something happening to him, so yes safety. Like right now im worried bcuz he texted me at 7:10pm saying he would be working till later but that he would get online from work so we can talk. It's now 10:48 and nothing.. :/

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:20 PM	#8
flashy.stems Hermès Hottie Joined: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,132	yikes. lol. relax! you are going to go mad with stress over nothing! i agree with DesigningStyle, sorry. you need friends to talk to about this.. or maybe you need to get our of a long distance relationship. it doesn't seem to suit you, judging by this thread. good luck.
	__________________ “I’m the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can’t be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in. I’d rather he didn’t order in the sex.” "You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many handbags." UHG!!! CL Black Mad Mary 37

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:50 PM	#9
petitechouchou "H" is for Hamster Joined: Jun 2009 Location: sleeping in my skybox Posts: 1,296	Relax and breath. You should consult with a professional to see if they can help you ease these feelings you have. Good luck

Nov 3rd, 2009, 12:18 AM	#10
karmenzsofia Life is Plan Z Joined: Jun 2008 Location: Tarot Card Posts: 14,891	It sounds like you could be dealing with anxiety, which is a medical condition and not "in your head." Excessive worry, stress, anxiety wear your body down and lead to all kinds of health problems, that's on top of the mental suffering. I would definitely make an appointment with a therapist.
	__________________ Satisfied but wishing 4 a WTM Mini and an AP ~~* Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Or, more importantly, is it funny?

Nov 3rd, 2009, 02:37 AM	#11
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,355	I went through a phase like this soon after I got married. My husband was away, stationed in a politically unstable country in Africa, and I worried about him. But to add to my worry I worked in a hospital and saw so many sad situations where people's health failed them and I worried that would happen to us at a young age (when that's all you see, your start to think that's the norm). One of my friends (who had been married for 9 years and had 3 kids) said she went through the same thing after they were married and it helped me so much. I think my life was going so well I was afraid something would happen to screw it up, but luckily the extreme worry stopped after several months. I think you just have to realize if something did happen, it would be sad, but you would survive, and when you don't worry all the time, you enjoy life so much more. Try to control your irrational fears, and try not to worry about the stuff you can't control. You might be going through a phase, like I did, but if it persists, I would seek counseling.
GirlFriday Member Joined: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,355

Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:55 AM	#12
DesigningStyle Neverfull on my arm! Joined: Dec 2006 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 8,350	karmen, your advice is always tops! Believe me if I ever need advice I am just going to PM you!
	__________________

Nov 3rd, 2009, 09:33 AM	#14
sugarjaws Makeup Junkie Queen Joined: May 2009 Location: Illinois Posts: 195	I too was (probably still am) a constant worrier. Sometimes its for no reason at all, but it's this constant nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach. Before my bf and I moved in together he lived about 1 hour away from me. After work we talked briefly and he said he would call me in about an hour or so, I believe he said he'd call aorund 6 or 7. Well, 6 went by, 7 went by, so I thought okay I'll wait until 8:00 because I know he goes to bed early. I tried calling but no one answered. I kept calling and calling thinking maybe he was in the bathroom, or went out, but he usually brings his cell phone with him. Well, I even woke up around midnight with worry thinking the phone should wake him up. I was so distraught with fear for him that I almost contemplated driving over there to check on him. I didn't. The next morning I tried calling again, nothing. As I was on my way out the door to go to work the phone rang - it was him!!! I was so happy and relieved. Here I am worried about a grown man, but the thoughts that race through your head - you just never know! Anyway, his phone was charging in his bedroom so he never heard the phone ring, and he fell asleep on the couch in the livingroom. By the time he woke up it was around 2 -3 am and he dragged his butt to bed, didn't get my messages until the time he called. I'm sure my messages to him must have been quite amusing.... the first one probably calm and collected, and the last one hysterical!! LOL Anyway, I understand your fears. With the way the world is today and all the things happening it's normal to be scared, but as others have stated you need to learn to not think the worst. I'm still working on this myself, but sometimes we are who we are and we just need to keep working on these things. I totally take after my mother!!

Nov 3rd, 2009, 10:03 AM	#15
natalie78 Dave's not here Joined: May 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 1,669	Please, do yourself a huge favor and seek counseling. This will drive you crazy before long. But, I know how you feel. I worry about DH all day because of his line of work. He does the same because of my work. I've learned to deal with it by focusing my worry on my own safety, which has saved my butt more than once. Do you have a hobby that you can use to keep your mind occupied?

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