[dallas]

Surely it would get tiring for the drag-er to have to whine and nag to get the drag-ee to go with them everywhere... and there must be times when the drag-ee feels like they are babysitting?

Pursey

[IntlSet]

Originally Posted by thelace

Reading some of the posts here seriously made me squirm and cringe. I would go f***ing APE if somebody whined and clung to me as has been described here. It would be like having a constant, insanely irritating noise in my ear, that never gave me a minute's peace.


Seriously girls, it really isn't attractive to be so demanding.

[cristalena56]

i want my dh to go everywhere with me, and he hates it! i just hate going anywhere alone....

[Nymph]

Originally Posted by ellewoods

I'm totally the opposite. I've been dating my BF for 5 years and we don't even live together yet. We're both really independent people. Sometimes we'll see each other 6/7 days in a week, sometimes only 3/7. It's important for me to spend time with the other people in my life as well as him. I also want him to spend time with his friends and family because they are so important to him. I'm happy when he goes away with friends for a week because I know he is enjoying himself and having "guy time". This is especially true since I'm a girly girl - I'd rather not be stuck watching sports or camping but I'm totally happy if he wants to do those things with other people.

This is one reason why I'm not sure that I can ever get married. I do want to live with my boyfriend at some point (maybe in a couple of years), but I don't want to have to give up my friends and independence. I feel like if we did get married we would be expected to be together 24/7 and only have "couple friends" which isn't really my style.

I totally identify with your first para! I'm still not quite ready to get married yet, (and thank goodness neither is he! ), but I imagine that when we do settle down, I still want some semblance of my life now, wherein I will still have my own time with my family and friends versus having to spend 24/7 with him.

[maddog]

I like him to be there for me for certain things, but I wouldn't want him going everywhere with me and I think he'd go nuts. Occasions like weddings and such, I'd like if he comes. Or, if I'm having really bad cramps or am sick, I'd like for him to come to the pharmacy with me. That's about it.

I think in every relationship, we should all have some hobby of our own that is for the individual only, to escape to and have breathing room. I'd ideally like to grow side by side on a path together with my SO, not merge into one person.

[laloki]

My DH comes just about everywhere with me when he is not busy working and I wish he would just bugger off sometimes. There are times when I need just me time. I especially hate it when he wants to come shopping with me as I feel he gets bored and I have to hurry.

[Pursegrrl]

Warning, I'm cranky:

I hate to admit it, but since this thread is titled Confession Time, here's PGal's confession: I'm Jealous.

I'm jealous of people out there who have SOs and can whine until they come along with them to grocery shop or pick up dry cleaning or what have you. I'm sorry, but as a single person if I had to go WITH someone to get groceries or coffee on a whim or anything else mundane I would starve to death.

I've never whined or begged in my LIFE for any of my SOs to go to things with me or take me to the airport or what have you. Sure, I know how to ask for help with home repair or heavy furniture moving or a lift somewhere when I need it but sheesh I guess I'm just too freakin g.d. independent to have someone constantly by my side. I let my SOs know what's important to me and when I need them there and when it's optional for them and they can decide and vice versa.

Does this mean I'm destined to die alone or surrounded by a million cats? LOL, I sure hope not.

And remember, before anyone jumps on this post, I'm a total people person - not a loner by any stretch.

[poppyluver]

I'm guilty. It drives my bf crazy but I argue that he needs to come along for security reasons. I prefer running errands like grocery shopping & trips to target at night. Its better when he's with me. Strange men will leave me alone and I like his input. We live together so its not like we're just running my errands... they are our errands. So we both should run them together.

I am also guilty of both dragging him to places like jamba juice & asking/begging him to go get what I want when I don't feel like leaving the house. I don't think I am being too demanding though. We do take turns fetching items or takeout. I do always call him when I'm on my way home or at whatever store to ask him if he needs anything.

Aren't "people who need people... the luckiest people"?
I never drag him to girl outings or ask anything of him when I know his favorite sport teams are on tv (ie. I will check the Lakers site prior).

[yvalenz]

Originally Posted by Nymph

Wow. I knew I would be in the minority group posting here, but the posts on the first 2 pages were starting to make me feel like I was really odd or something for not wanting to spend every waking hour with my bf!

We've been together 7.5 years, and we're madly in love. But I need my own space from him to live my life too! Maybe I'm too independent, but personally, I couldn't be with someone who needed me to go every where with them.

Good thing I know for a fact that my bf appreciates this trait, knowing that I am not dependent on him for everything. Isn't that a whole lot of pressure?

Great post! You are absolutely not in the minority !! I've been with my hubby for almost 9 years - and while we enjoy our time together, we also enjoy our time APART!

I could not be with someone that was that dependent on me - nor would I want to be that dependent on someone else. I think there comes a point when you need to be a "big girl" and just do what you need to do. alone. whatever it takes.

Seriously - dragging another person around when it's just not necessary (or if they really don't want to) - that just breeds future resentment. I know it would for me.

[carvedwords]

I am the same way. He doesn't get it, but goes where he wants me to go. I find it crazy I can't even go to the grocery store without him, too.

[tmc089]

I agree with everyone here...both sides. I agree that it's good to have alone time, time to miss eachother and keep your individuality. But as I said a few pages ago, I am guilty of this.

Idk, the way I see it is that if him and I have the opportunity to hang out, and no one else is around, I take it. I still make plenty of time for my friends/family/etc. I think it may be a him and I thing though...about 5 years ago he got into a terrible car accident, he literally wasn't supposed to live through it but he did. I feel like if something can be taken away from you in a matter of seconds, you have to appreciate that something and cherish the moments you have together. BF and I do have time apart, and it's good for us. We usually have a few days of the week where we just don't see eachother, just to do individual stuff. But we still love joining eachother on random adventures...

[IntlSet]

Originally Posted by Pursegrrl

Warning, I'm cranky:

I hate to admit it, but since this thread is titled Confession Time, here's PGal's confession: I'm Jealous.

I'm jealous of people out there who have SOs and can whine until they come along with them to grocery shop or pick up dry cleaning or what have you. I'm sorry, but as a single person if I had to go WITH someone to get groceries or coffee on a whim or anything else mundane I would starve to death.

I've never whined or begged in my LIFE for any of my SOs to go to things with me or take me to the airport or what have you. Sure, I know how to ask for help with home repair or heavy furniture moving or a lift somewhere when I need it but sheesh I guess I'm just too freakin g.d. independent to have someone constantly by my side. I let my SOs know what's important to me and when I need them there and when it's optional for them and they can decide and vice versa.

Does this mean I'm destined to die alone or surrounded by a million cats? LOL, I sure hope not.

And remember, before anyone jumps on this post, I'm a total people person - not a loner by any stretch.

I understand what you mean! And no, I don't think you'll die surrounded by cats! lol Independence is a good thing... everyone has different comfort levels of togetherness. My SO is really the only person I never get sick of.

[nawth21]

I was like that, sort of. Then SO got laid off and he's around 24/7. We live together and now I have no time to myself. None. At all. And he doesn't have a car so when I run errands he comes with or whatever because he wants out of the house. Atleast before we had days/evenings a part while he did his thing and I did mine. Now he does all of his stuff during the day when I am at work. Ugh


I want some me time damnit LOL

[brianne1114]

SO and I spend lots of time together. We do for the most part go everywhere together, though there are some times when I want to go out alone and he stays in. We just genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.

[bnjj]

Not me. I am very independent and don't need the men I'm dating chained to my hip.