Confession Time: Anyone (like me) always want their boyfriend go to everywhere w/them

illinirdhd · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by csamcharlie

I guess I'm the opposite. I think I can get things done faster when he's not there.

True. (Usually cheaper when DH is not with me too!)

amber11 · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:28 PM

i have clingy times and i do love running errands with him, but we don't really get the chance since i only see him twice a week!

UK2ME · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:39 PM

My DH is wicked clingy, but he doesn't want to do anything, and he doesn't want me to go out without him. It actually drives me crazy, because he doesn't want to go out and I get cabin fever if I don't leave the apartment all weekend. He sulks if I leave him at home, but I feel like I have to bully him to get him to come out and then neither of us is happy. Sometimes I just have to say "I love you, but I will be back later!"

My DH's parents do everything together so that's normal to him. My parents have always done their own things, so that's more natural to me.

guccimamma · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:45 PM

i completely used to be that way, before kids....now i get clung to all the time.

now we have a tag team approach, you do this...i'll do this....we'll meet in the middle

i long to be alone and get an errand done quickly and efficiently, nobody tugging at me...or trying to put things in the shopping cart that we totally don't need! and my husband is now the biggest culprit of putting things in the cart...so i do most errands alone, if possible.

but i do remember the old days, when we would go out for coffee...and do errands together. now it is a huge production.

Schmodi · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:51 PM

I used to be the same way. Now I'm like "this is my time" and you have your time. I have to get away with my girls every so often or I'll go batty!

pattylauren · Jun 27th, 2008, 05:52 PM

This is cute! It doesn't have to be something you're ashamed of! I'm a super independent person, and before I met my boyfriend I did EVERYTHING alone pretty much. All grocery shopping, lifting, etc. He's such a classic gentleman type that my resolve has melted away a little. I find it's more fun to have someone you love and like go places with you! He's my best friend and I like just having him around when I go shopping, plant flowers, get lunch, etc. On the other hand, there are sometimes I just wanna do stuff alone like the old days. It's quicker and more convenient at times. I shop like a man... in and out... and he'll want to look at things sometimes or try to get me to do something and I'll get frustrated so sometimes it's good to have a break if you want it. But, don't be ashamed to have fun and just want him along! Doesn't mean you can't cope without him :)

elle tee · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntlSet

Seriously. Like every little thing I do. I want my boyfriend to tag along.
Like if I want a Jamba Juice but he doesn't, I will whine until he walks me there. Or grocery shopping. I *hate* grocery shopping without him... but that may mostly be due to having to carry heavy bags (no car in Chicago) by myself.

Yes, perhaps I have codependency issues. We've been dating almost 2 years if that matters...

Can anyone else admit to this? I'm hoping to get over it soon!

However, I don't drag the SO along when I'm out with girls. The girl that will bring a boyfriend to girls' night is breaking a law in my book! It's mostly errands that I refuse to run alone!!

I think this all might have developed from when I lived with a few of my sorority sisters in college and we were together 24/7. All the freaking time. The first person to wake up on Saturday would wake the rest of us up because we didn't want to sit in the living room alone.

YES this is me! I hate going anywhere by myself, I always have. Now that I live with SO, it's like we're on the buddy system- I expect him to go everywhere with me. Grocery shopping, fun shopping, the subway in the morning if he's awake, errands, you name it. If he's asleep and I'm not, I will sometimes bug him until he gets up. Drives him nuts!

caxe · Jun 27th, 2008, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by csamcharlie

I guess I'm the opposite. I think I can get things done faster when he's not there.

It sure as heck seems that way, doesn't it?

lovemel · Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM

Can't say that I'm that way at all. In fact, my SO says I'm too independent. Don't get me wrong, I love him and all...I just like to have time to myself.

debsmith · Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM

If you have to do every little thing together...where's the mystery? Or the longing? I have to miss the guy and anticipate a little something or else it's way too monotanous for me. If you're rarely apart except for work...after a period of time how do you distinguish yourself from the other person? The thought of that is suffocating to me. Sorry...I guess I've been married too long. Fortunately for me my husband loves his time to do his thing as much as I do mine.

thelace · Jun 27th, 2008, 09:18 PM

Reading some of the posts here seriously made me squirm and cringe. I would go f***ing APE if somebody whined and clung to me as has been described here. It would be like having a constant, insanely irritating noise in my ear, that never gave me a minute's peace.

And yes, I am extremely close to my partner - passionately in love after 7 years. But we give do spend time apart to be able to miss each other.

Seriously girls, it really isn't attractive to be so demanding.

Virgo · Jun 27th, 2008, 09:26 PM

No, I don't want my DH with me all the time. I really like my alone time and find it faster to do chores, etc by myself. Occassionally he goes to a store with me but its usually cuz he has to go and wants me to come alone. I have 4 siblings but they are a lot older and so were out of the house when I grew up so I have a lot of "only child" traits.

As long as your SO doesn't mind then it doesn't seem like an issue for you.

caxe · Jun 27th, 2008, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by debsmith

If you have to do every little thing together...where's the mystery? Or the longing? I have to miss the guy and anticipate a little something or else it's way too monotanous for me. If you're rarely apart except for work...after a period of time how do you distinguish yourself from the other person? The thought of that is suffocating to me. Sorry...I guess I've been married too long. Fortunately for me my husband loves his time to do his thing as much as I do mine.

I agree with that. I can easily see how being together TOO much can be lethal to a relationship. Like my mama said, "Give him a chance to miss you!"

Familiarity breeds contempt.

soshesaid · Jun 27th, 2008, 10:02 PM

I am somewhat independent of my BF. I love being with him, but I really like my freedom to have my own life without him. I have always needed a lot of time to myself since I was young, so maybe that's why?

exotikittenx · Jun 27th, 2008, 11:04 PM

I don't know, I kind of like to have some "me" time and a bit of privacy running errands so I can feel free to do whatever I want. I do want my SO on many occasions, but the mundane stuff is not a big deal to me.

I do think, though, that it is nice to do grocery shopping together if you are both available to do it, but if I just have to run to the bank and post office, I wouldn't bother him about it.

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:39 PM	#33
UK2ME Go on, I dare ya! Location: Maine	My DH is wicked clingy, but he doesn't want to do anything, and he doesn't want me to go out without him. It actually drives me crazy, because he doesn't want to go out and I get cabin fever if I don't leave the apartment all weekend. He sulks if I leave him at home, but I feel like I have to bully him to get him to come out and then neither of us is happy. Sometimes I just have to say "I love you, but I will be back later!" My DH's parents do everything together so that's normal to him. My parents have always done their own things, so that's more natural to me. __________________ *Wear clean knickers!* (As my mother always told me, you just never know when you'll be run over by a bus.)

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:51 PM	#35
Schmodi Member	I used to be the same way. Now I'm like "this is my time" and you have your time. I have to get away with my girls every so often or I'll go batty! __________________

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:52 PM	#36
pattylauren fierce Location: The beautiful south	This is cute! It doesn't have to be something you're ashamed of! I'm a super independent person, and before I met my boyfriend I did EVERYTHING alone pretty much. All grocery shopping, lifting, etc. He's such a classic gentleman type that my resolve has melted away a little. I find it's more fun to have someone you love and like go places with you! He's my best friend and I like just having him around when I go shopping, plant flowers, get lunch, etc. On the other hand, there are sometimes I just wanna do stuff alone like the old days. It's quicker and more convenient at times. I shop like a man... in and out... and he'll want to look at things sometimes or try to get me to do something and I'll get frustrated so sometimes it's good to have a break if you want it. But, don't be ashamed to have fun and just want him along! Doesn't mean you can't cope without him :) __________________

Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM	#40
debsmith you are home to me Location: Augusta, GA	If you have to do every little thing together...where's the mystery? Or the longing? I have to miss the guy and anticipate a little something or else it's way too monotanous for me. If you're rarely apart except for work...after a period of time how do you distinguish yourself from the other person? The thought of that is suffocating to me. Sorry...I guess I've been married too long. Fortunately for me my husband loves his time to do his thing as much as I do mine. __________________ Last edited by debsmith; Jun 27th, 2008 at 07:11 PM.

Jun 27th, 2008, 09:18 PM	#41
thelace Founder of B.U.M. Location: Winchester, England	Reading some of the posts here seriously made me squirm and cringe. I would go f***ing APE if somebody whined and clung to me as has been described here. It would be like having a constant, insanely irritating noise in my ear, that never gave me a minute's peace. And yes, I am extremely close to my partner - passionately in love after 7 years. But we give do spend time apart to be able to miss each other. Seriously girls, it really isn't attractive to be so demanding. __________________ Brits Using Muscade

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:28 PM	#32
amber11 Member	i have clingy times and i do love running errands with him, but we don't really get the chance since i only see him twice a week!

Jun 27th, 2008, 05:45 PM	#34
guccimamma guccimamma	i completely used to be that way, before kids....now i get clung to all the time. now we have a tag team approach, you do this...i'll do this....we'll meet in the middle i long to be alone and get an errand done quickly and efficiently, nobody tugging at me...or trying to put things in the shopping cart that we totally don't need! and my husband is now the biggest culprit of putting things in the cart...so i do most errands alone, if possible. but i do remember the old days, when we would go out for coffee...and do errands together. now it is a huge production.

Jun 27th, 2008, 07:07 PM	#39
lovemel Member	Can't say that I'm that way at all. In fact, my SO says I'm too independent. Don't get me wrong, I love him and all...I just like to have time to myself.

Jun 27th, 2008, 09:26 PM	#42
Virgo Member	No, I don't want my DH with me all the time. I really like my alone time and find it faster to do chores, etc by myself. Occassionally he goes to a store with me but its usually cuz he has to go and wants me to come alone. I have 4 siblings but they are a lot older and so were out of the house when I grew up so I have a lot of "only child" traits. As long as your SO doesn't mind then it doesn't seem like an issue for you. __________________ Virgo

Jun 27th, 2008, 10:02 PM	#44
soshesaid Member Location: Los Angeles, CA	I am somewhat independent of my BF. I love being with him, but I really like my freedom to have my own life without him. I have always needed a lot of time to myself since I was young, so maybe that's why? __________________ As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

Jun 27th, 2008, 11:04 PM	#45
exotikittenx Ooh la la! Location: The City of Plain 'n Proper	I don't know, I kind of like to have some "me" time and a bit of privacy running errands so I can feel free to do whatever I want. I do want my SO on many occasions, but the mundane stuff is not a big deal to me. I do think, though, that it is nice to do grocery shopping together if you are both available to do it, but if I just have to run to the bank and post office, I wouldn't bother him about it. __________________ Please check out my collection! Click here.