Comparing your significant other

[amanda]

Originally Posted by IntlSet

I am going to change THAT! I haven't figured out how but I'm working on it, Amanda.

lol, i just have to move out of a college town. everyone's poor here because they're all students, and the guys are all douchebags because none of them have had to act like adults a day in their lives yet. i graduate in may, then i'll find me a real man :-). my friends? on their own!

amanda 's intlset

[damienmomma]

I don't compare him to my friends bf or I have compared him to my ex's and he beats everyone by a landslide!!!

[LeeMiller]

My best friends and I don't compare. I do have some friends that compare, but I don't really like that.

I do tell my fiance how fantastic he is compared to all other men though!

[lorihmatthews]

Well, I'm married, and if anything I can see how much better my DH is than my friends' DHes. One has dealt with depression and drinking problems. Another cheated on my friend. Yet another spends money like water because he constantly has to one-up others. Another is a controlling freak.

I hit the jackpot!

[Charles]

If I had to say "I wish my gf was more like your gf", then I wouldn't have a gf.

[HauteMama]

Realistically, no one exists in a vacuum. We compare the man we are dating or married to to others (either past or present), otherwise we wouldn't know they were the right one for us. After dating a number of men, I knew very well which qualities I liked and which I didn't, so even though I didn't consciously compare or talk about my dh with others, I did know from prior experience what I liked or didn't like in a man.

And I don't actively compare him now, since like a pp mentioned, my friends' so's or dh's aren't my type at all and it would never occur to me to compare anything with them. I certainly don't talk about him or air complaints (though I rarely have any) with others because I tend to be very private regarding relationships.

[ColdSteel]

I don't compare him, as no one else can compare :P.
In all seriousness though, he's my kind of guy and that's all that matters.

[Speedy]

I never compared DH to any of my ex's or male friends, but my mother did once to me. Before DH and I got married, she said "I wished you had stayed married to your first husband." I guess she was doing all the comparing. Yeah, my first husband is rich, good looking, nice to his elders, animals and children, but he TOTALLY ignored me during our marriage. THEN, she asked me if I was "settleling" for my DH. (I was 39 at the time, the pickin's get SLIM after 30.) I said no.

[duchess]

I married my husband when I was 40 (my first marriage) and I have plenty of others to compare him to. It is impossible to me that ANY man could measure up to my husband. I thank _od every day that we found each other. We have our share of problems;but we know we have met our "match".

[girliceclimber]

My roommate and her bf CONSTANTLY fight, so lately I can't help but be grateful for how well my bf get along.
I don't think I would ever think someone's bf was better than mine though.. I think I only compare when I get annoyed with one of my friends' bfs, lol.

[mellecyn]

I think we do if we are insecure about ourselves (our ability to judge) or about our relationship.
I started getting frustrated with my ex BF and right the same time I started looking around for comparison...If I was upset bc my BF wouldn´t do 1 thing to organize our dream holidays together I´d ask to a GF if hers was the same....and mostly I couldn´t help but noticing mainly the more ambitious BFs. It all escalated into "I´m not happy with him"

[berryblondeboys]

I don't know if I compare per se, but I do notice other people's relationships and see how the work, etc. Usually, after spending time with my best friend, or acquaintances, I feel MUCH better about my own relationship because I realize how compatible we really are and then I realize the petty things that bother me, really are PETTY.

Sure, I wish my husband was better with saying I love you or giving compliments, but he says, "I don't say them with much with words, but I show you and isn't that more powerful than words?" And... I suppose it is (but who doesn't want to hear it too? sigh!)

It's when I realize that, "Hey, he comes home every night and spends every weekend with us and if wants to do soemthing alone, he ASKS and is reasonable about it." and so on.

So, yes, I do compare SOs, not purposefully, but I do notice!

[Danica]

Nah! The only time I guess there is comparison is when we are talking about something stupid he has done, and we all go "my SO does the same thing!"

[nataliam1976]

i compare him to my exes and sometimes to my friends` SOs in the "im a lucky one no to have to deal with it" context...for example when i look at my good friend`s husband ( i am their child`s godmother ) hitting on me, or my other f( ex ) friend`s now SO who had wanted to have an affair with her while he was still married ( plus he was her boss ).

[compulsivepurse]

I don't compare my DH to other people's but he likes to compare himself to them, LOL. I may have hinted on other posts that my DH, while a very wonderful guy, is a very practical guy and the most unromantic on earth. His response is, "I do X, Y, and Z everyday (for you, the kids, the house, etc). Do you think Bob, or, John or Bill (friend's husbands) would do that?" I always say no but it's a moot point because I would have never married Bob, or John, or Bill for that reason. So it doesn't do him any good :-p