[bubbleloba]

One of my oldest (and best friend) is engaged to be married at the end of 2008 or early 2009. She asked me to be her maid of honor, except I'm clueless when it comes to what my duties are.

The good thing is my friend's mom will be on-hand to help, and my friend is a pretty mellow person (we joked that she will never be a bridezilla).

This will be my first time being in the bridal party so any advice and suggestions are welcome. TIA!!

[Zophie]

I was the maid of honor for my best friend's wedding several years ago. I didn't do anything but be the maid of honor. Her mom even paid for the dresses and everything. I don't know what you are "supposed" to do, but why don't you just ask her if you think there is something you should do.

[kbell]

My MOH (one of my best friends) pretty much organized all the pre-wedding events like the bachelorette & jack n jill. She was pretty much my right hand gal through the whole thing - but she also likes that sort of thing - organizing & planning events. She did consult with the rest of the wedding party & parents to make sure everyone was agreeable.

[oo0ehxtahcee0oo]

i'd like to know the same thing also!! my BFF isnt very traditional and said her cousin is going to be her maid of honor.. but that her DF wants two best man, so if he does, she asked me to be her other maid of honor. (i dont know if that's possible.. or traditional, but she doesnt mind. she wants it her wya not traditional, because its her wedding. which i understand and respect) so of course, i said id looove to!! but i have no idea what im suppose to do if i am one of the two maid of honors. i mean her cousin lives really far, and doesnt have the time or money (commuting) to be coming back and forth doing things. should she and i split the work?? and if i dont become one of the two, should i still do all the work?? (im guessing the bachoeloretteparty, and what not comes from the MOH??)

[priiin]

I'm not sure about the duties either, but I think you can just help the bride get ready, calm her nerves if she gets nervous , help do small tasks here and there. In the end, everyone in the wedding party is there to support the bride and groom. As long as you show your moral support you will be doing a big part of your job.

[Elara]

Technically, you're not "supposed" to do anything, other than stand up with your friend when she says her vows and be supportive. Somehow, this has morphed into the bride often taking advantage of her friends and hitting them up to run errands, plan parties, address invitations, etc. Which is nice if you OFFER to do so and help out. But the bride shouldn't be assuming or demanding the MOH do anything, really.

[Speedy]

Only one of my weddings even had a maid of honor, and that was my daughter. But from what I've seen/heard, yeah, you help the bride, you are the go-between between her and the others in the party (make sure the flower girl has flowers, etc) and deligate little errands to others so the bride can be calm and not have to worry about anything. Also organize a bridal shower if she wants one. Basically.... be her slave. LOL!

Have fun! I never had a close enough friend who'd ask me to do this great honor, so I hope you know just how cool this is!

[elizat]

I have not been a maid of honor, but a bridesmaid. In that wedding, the maid of honor did NOTHING. The bridesmaids were responsible for planning the shower, paying for hair and nails of the bride, assisting at the party before the wedding for family and friends- like a barbecue, decorating the reception place, cleaning up, distributing party favors to guests, making sure guests signed in and wrote messages in the guest book, decorating the car, helping to get stuff ready for the honeymoon. Basically, kind of like a "slave"- whatever needed doing!

[guccimamma]

ask the bride what she wants you to do, she may not expect you to do anything. no point trying to read someone's mind.

[Zophie]

Now that I think about it, I can't remember if I was the MOH or her sister was. Either way, I know neither of us did anything really but go to all the parties her parents' friends threw and the rehearsal dinner, etc. Her mom really did everything. But then I'm not the party planning type either.

[[coco]]

Ok I am also a maid of honour at my best friends wedding. I understand that I sign the register as a witness on the wedding day and organise a hens night (not sure what you call it in US???)... anything else???

ALSO I would really like to know what order does the bridal party walk in. Is the maid of honour the last one (immediately before the bride) to walk out?? Or the first followed by the rest??

[Pursegrrl]

Originally Posted by [coco]

Ok I am also a maid of honour at my best friends wedding. I understand that I sign the register as a witness on the wedding day and organise a hens night (not sure what you call it in US???)... anything else???

ALSO I would really like to know what order does the bridal party walk in. Is the maid of honour the last one (immediately before the bride) to walk out?? Or the first followed by the rest??

I suppose this is the bride & groom's choice ultimately, but in the weddings i've been in and have been to as a guest the maid/matron of honor comes out last.

I've been in weddings where the attendants and groomsmen come out in pairs arm in arm down the aisle with the MOH and best man last, or where all the men (groom + his best man and groomsmen) all enter the church at once in a line from a side entrance waiting up front and it's the attendants who walk down the aisle one by one.

As far as what the MOH is supposed to do I guess it depends on what your friend wants you to do within reason . Meaning, you are her right hand woman and will probably be asked to go shopping with her for gowns or other things and maybe organizing a bachelorette party (??) or maybe not...

At the actual wedding, you would be right by her side, hold her bouquet while she takes her vows, make sure her wedding gown train is straightened out and ready when she turns with new DH and ready to walk back down the aisle...so many things! Enjoy!

[bubbleloba]

Thanks, everyone! Although I organizing (I color code everything from bills to grocery lists), I think my MOH duties will actually be a lot less than I had originally anticipated because I'm in SF and my friend is in LA.



I think I'll plan the bachlorette party and help coordinate the bridal shower with her mom, help my friend pick out her wedding dress and do the cake tasting, and that's pretty much it until the day of the wedding. She did say I need to keep her fed or else her anxiety level will be on an all-time high.

[LissiSays]

I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding when I was about 15 years old. I helped my sister with everything I could and tagged along everywhere. I would have done that whether I was the maid of honor or not though. I don't know if I wasn't given any major responsibilities because of my age. I obviously couldn't plan and attend the bachelorette party. LOL! One task I do know of is holding her flowers during the ceremony and making sure the back of the dress was straight when she made it up to the alter.

Sounds funny but you can also Google this and see what you find. LOL!

[cola262]

so you wanna has a good guide. Google has tons of guides.

http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/...idofhonor.html

There are also tons of sites on how to make a good speech. I really liked this UK site in particular, but I forget the name and can't seem to google it right now.