Cheating...

Sunshine · Dec 12th, 2007, 02:32 PM

I have been reading around the forum alot and some have cheated on someone they have loved...some have not...judgment is FIERCE on this topic...however, it happens. Sometimes its just sex, and it truly means nothing, sometimes its an afair..bottom line it hurts all involved. So, do you tell, do you not, how do you live with a lie, if you do tell why hurt someone that does not need to know...what are your thoughts...

kbell · Dec 12th, 2007, 02:57 PM

I cheated on 1 person only my whole life after 3 yrs. I told him immediately aftewards. Not getting into it but for me it was already over & I tried really hard to end it with this person over & over again but then the stalking - seriously & phone calls UGH - it was easier to just say OK fine it's not over. Anyway - I'm not sorry now nor was I then & that finally put an end to what was already over. I have told everyone I dated since then about this including my husband - they of course also got the whole story. I have nothing to hide. I see no reason not to disclose the information. If someone can't understand the circumstances or can't trust me because of 1 instance then their loss. Thankfully my husband had no problem with it.

princessaj0603 · Dec 12th, 2007, 03:13 PM

I have cheated on a boyfriend way back in the day and I never told him. When we were together sometimes I would think about telling him, or images of me cheating on him would pop into my head. I felt guilty but for some reason I never wanted to tell him. I think a big reason was because I was still in HS and I knew that it wouldn't last. I kind of just wanted to enjoy the moment.
My BF and I have been together now for almost 5 years and I have told him that I cheated on a previous BF and he was a little upset because I never told the guy and he thought that I would do the same thing (I never have btw) but he has since gotten over it, that was at the beginning of our relationship, and I have not and will not ever cheat on him.

I think it depends on how badly you want to save the relationship too. If you know it is doomed you could just tell him or if you wanted things to really work and you could live with what you did and you just want to get over it I think that works sometimes too. It really depends on you.

IntlSet · Dec 12th, 2007, 03:47 PM

I've never cheated or been cheated on, and I'm shocked with the frequency it happens to others...

sweetxoxo76 · Dec 12th, 2007, 03:56 PM

I cheated on a boyfriend a while ago. I was in a very messed up place emotionally and i guess at that point i really didn't care what the consequences were. stayed in that relationship for a while. he cheated on me, i cheated on him. until i finally figured out where i wanted to be. i wanted to be drama free. yes, the thrill of new romance and doing something bad is exciting, but not really beneficial to a person's well being. now i am married to a wonderful man whom i trust completely and i would never cheat on him.

Speedy · Dec 12th, 2007, 03:59 PM

Without going into details, I wouldn't tell my SO if I'd cheated. My ex would almost regale in telling me his exploites with prostitutes while we were married, and I know how I felt.

I disagree "it's only sex". I know I came from the "free love" generation, but I'm still old fashioned enough that when I committed my heart to someone, I also committed my body.

HubbaWubba · Dec 12th, 2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntlSet

I've never cheated or been cheated on, and I'm shocked with the frequency it happens to others...

Me too.

keodi · Dec 12th, 2007, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IntlSet

I've never cheated or been cheated on, and I'm shocked with the frequency it happens to others...

Wow, I've been cheated on, but I've never cheated..I'm suprised at how some can cheat so casually.. as if they're giving a handshake and not even give it a second thought

princessaj0603 · Dec 12th, 2007, 04:33 PM

Just wanted to clarify that since I cheated on my ex back in high school, cheating was not sex...at least it wasn't for me. I "made out" with another guy and that was it....I didn't want anyone to think that back in HS I was going around with everyone... However, HS is so dramatic that to me it was like I had an affair!

that was prolly to much info but I just wanted to put that out there!

Vegas Long Legs · Dec 12th, 2007, 04:34 PM

^^^ me three. What IntlSet said.

Fendi213 · Dec 12th, 2007, 05:15 PM

I've been cheated on, but i've never cheated on anyone.
To be honest I don't think you really truly love the person anyway if you could cheat on them, i could never in a million years even think about cheating on my boyfriend because i love him so much, but thats just my opinion.

ImASadGiraffe · Dec 12th, 2007, 05:17 PM

I've been cheated on by boyfriends before...and honestly, I wish they had just dumped me instead of told me that they cheated. When someone confesses to cheating, I don't think it's because they want to be honest - they want to clear their own guilty conscience. It's selfish, IMO. It hurts the other person a TON and it would have hurt a lot less had he just dumped me and moved on.

Just my 2 cents.

Sunshine · Dec 12th, 2007, 07:11 PM

before I was married I cheated...for so many reasons....I was changing, and sex was amazing... I had the attitude for a very long time that what if
I died tomorrow?? What if this, what if I that...Very bad...but sex was ...cheating??? Well it did not matter. I was very much in love with someone before I got married, he cheated on me in a way that hurt my heart in a way that I never thought possible...so I did something really bad to get back at him...I am so glad he cheated...I would have never moved away and met my dh.

devoted · Dec 12th, 2007, 07:45 PM

I never cheated on someone, it's so disrespectful and disgusting. To be intimate with some man, whether it's a one-night stand or someone I grew to like, and to return to my SO....ugh

How disrespectful to him as a human-being. I don't know if I have been cheated on, I don't think so. I would prefer him dumping me the second he starts caring for another woman....for him to kiss/sleep with someone else and come home to me and pretend we're fine....I feel like vomitting.

armanigirl · Dec 12th, 2007, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by devoted

I never cheated on someone, it's so disrespectful and disgusting. To be intimate with some man, whether it's a one-night stand or someone I grew to like, and to return to my SO....ugh

How disrespectful to him as a human-being. I don't know if I have been cheated on, I don't think so. I would prefer him dumping me the second he starts caring for another woman....for him to kiss/sleep with someone else and come home to me and pretend we're fine....I feel like vomitting.

i agree w/ you 100%!!!

Dec 12th, 2007, 02:32 PM	#1
Sunshine Location: Key West, Florida	Cheating... I have been reading around the forum alot and some have cheated on someone they have loved...some have not...judgment is FIERCE on this topic...however, it happens. Sometimes its just sex, and it truly means nothing, sometimes its an afair..bottom line it hurts all involved. So, do you tell, do you not, how do you live with a lie, if you do tell why hurt someone that does not need to know...what are your thoughts...

Dec 12th, 2007, 02:57 PM	#2
kbell Member Location: MA	Re: Cheating... I cheated on 1 person only my whole life after 3 yrs. I told him immediately aftewards. Not getting into it but for me it was already over & I tried really hard to end it with this person over & over again but then the stalking - seriously & phone calls UGH - it was easier to just say OK fine it's not over. Anyway - I'm not sorry now nor was I then & that finally put an end to what was already over. I have told everyone I dated since then about this including my husband - they of course also got the whole story. I have nothing to hide. I see no reason not to disclose the information. If someone can't understand the circumstances or can't trust me because of 1 instance then their loss. Thankfully my husband had no problem with it. __________________ Heal quickly & come back soon!

Dec 12th, 2007, 03:13 PM	#3
princessaj0603 Happily Engaged! Location: Shopping...	Re: Cheating... I have cheated on a boyfriend way back in the day and I never told him. When we were together sometimes I would think about telling him, or images of me cheating on him would pop into my head. I felt guilty but for some reason I never wanted to tell him. I think a big reason was because I was still in HS and I knew that it wouldn't last. I kind of just wanted to enjoy the moment. My BF and I have been together now for almost 5 years and I have told him that I cheated on a previous BF and he was a little upset because I never told the guy and he thought that I would do the same thing (I never have btw) but he has since gotten over it, that was at the beginning of our relationship, and I have not and will not ever cheat on him. I think it depends on how badly you want to save the relationship too. If you know it is doomed you could just tell him or if you wanted things to really work and you could live with what you did and you just want to get over it I think that works sometimes too. It really depends on you. __________________ "A girl must always be two things, classy and fabulous" BOSTON MEET 8/23!!! SO EXCITED!!!

Dec 12th, 2007, 03:47 PM	#4
IntlSet Bonjour! Location: Chicago	Re: Cheating... I've never cheated or been cheated on, and I'm shocked with the frequency it happens to others... __________________ www.drinkmorechampagne.com

Dec 12th, 2007, 03:56 PM	#5
sweetxoxo76 Member	Re: Cheating... I cheated on a boyfriend a while ago. I was in a very messed up place emotionally and i guess at that point i really didn't care what the consequences were. stayed in that relationship for a while. he cheated on me, i cheated on him. until i finally figured out where i wanted to be. i wanted to be drama free. yes, the thrill of new romance and doing something bad is exciting, but not really beneficial to a person's well being. now i am married to a wonderful man whom i trust completely and i would never cheat on him.

Dec 12th, 2007, 03:59 PM	#6
Speedy Sofa King Banned Location: N. California	Re: Cheating... Without going into details, I wouldn't tell my SO if I'd cheated. My ex would almost regale in telling me his exploites with prostitutes while we were married, and I know how I felt. I disagree "it's only sex". I know I came from the "free love" generation, but I'm still old fashioned enough that when I committed my heart to someone, I also committed my body.

Dec 12th, 2007, 04:33 PM	#9
princessaj0603 Happily Engaged! Location: Shopping...	Re: Cheating... Just wanted to clarify that since I cheated on my ex back in high school, cheating was not sex...at least it wasn't for me. I "made out" with another guy and that was it....I didn't want anyone to think that back in HS I was going around with everyone... However, HS is so dramatic that to me it was like I had an affair! that was prolly to much info but I just wanted to put that out there! __________________ "A girl must always be two things, classy and fabulous" BOSTON MEET 8/23!!! SO EXCITED!!!

Dec 12th, 2007, 04:34 PM	#10
Vegas Long Legs Member Location: Las Vegas	Re: Cheating... ^^^ me three. What IntlSet said. __________________ Northern Europe July/Aug Last edited by Vegas Long Legs; Dec 12th, 2007 at 04:36 PM. Reason: add

Dec 12th, 2007, 05:15 PM	#11
Fendi213 Jesse	Re: Cheating... I've been cheated on, but i've never cheated on anyone. To be honest I don't think you really truly love the person anyway if you could cheat on them, i could never in a million years even think about cheating on my boyfriend because i love him so much, but thats just my opinion.

Dec 12th, 2007, 05:17 PM	#12
ImASadGiraffe Relax... Location: IL	Re: Cheating... I've been cheated on by boyfriends before...and honestly, I wish they had just dumped me instead of told me that they cheated. When someone confesses to cheating, I don't think it's because they want to be honest - they want to clear their own guilty conscience. It's selfish, IMO. It hurts the other person a TON and it would have hurt a lot less had he just dumped me and moved on. Just my 2 cents. __________________

Dec 12th, 2007, 07:11 PM	#13
Sunshine Location: Key West, Florida	Re: Cheating... before I was married I cheated...for so many reasons....I was changing, and sex was amazing... I had the attitude for a very long time that what if I died tomorrow?? What if this, what if I that...Very bad...but sex was ...cheating??? Well it did not matter. I was very much in love with someone before I got married, he cheated on me in a way that hurt my heart in a way that I never thought possible...so I did something really bad to get back at him...I am so glad he cheated...I would have never moved away and met my dh. Last edited by Sunshine; Dec 13th, 2007 at 02:07 AM.

Dec 12th, 2007, 07:45 PM	#14
devoted Member	Re: Cheating... I never cheated on someone, it's so disrespectful and disgusting. To be intimate with some man, whether it's a one-night stand or someone I grew to like, and to return to my SO....ugh How disrespectful to him as a human-being. I don't know if I have been cheated on, I don't think so. I would prefer him dumping me the second he starts caring for another woman....for him to kiss/sleep with someone else and come home to me and pretend we're fine....I feel like vomitting.