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NLVOEWITHLV · Oct 15th, 2009, 05:47 PM

^^^ You sound alot like me... When I'm cooking in the kitchen and I hear DH's key in the lock on our front door my heart begins to thud, I drop everything and greet him with open arms!!! No matter what has happened throughout the course of my day being in his arms makes everything better. Last night we went to the movies and we held hands all the way to the car, I saw him shoot me a side glance then smile... that makes me feel all fluttery and warm. I think were a sappy pair.

BagLadie · Oct 15th, 2009, 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by DesigningStyle

Fades.

LMAO!!! I'm reading all these beautiful posts and then came across this and for some reason it made me crack up. You're the best.

NLVOEWITHLV · Oct 16th, 2009, 12:35 PM

AWWW!!! You and your DH sound so cute... I'm not really "worried" per say, our relationship is strong. I just dont want to be too comfortable 20 years down the road. I want to have some air of "newness" that my parents seem to exude... Does that make sense? My God mother and her husband have been married 30+ years, they say they are very much in love but they enjoy being apart A LOT!!! They even sleep in different bedrooms at times... I DONT want to sleep in different rooms EVER!!! I think this is why we try to keep it fresh and new, hence why I have sooo many butterflies, he always makes me feel like its the first time!!!

Originally Posted by bagnshoofetish

only time will tell but I really don't think you have anything to worry about. DH and I still "date" and do many fun things together, are still very romantic, do special things for each other and surprise each other...right now we are about to do one of our favorite things together, nap and cuddle!

KristyDarling · Oct 18th, 2009, 01:03 AM

We've been together 12 years and married for 8, and I do not feel the butterflies anymore...but it's all good.

I get the "warm fuzzys" instead. Warm fuzzies are comfy socks whereas the butterflies are a pair of stiletto heels! The butterflies were fun while they lasted but my personality is pretty even-keeled and I tend to prefer ease and stability over excitement. It works out just fine for our marriage. We do get a very toned down version of that "newness" feeling whenever we get dressed up for a romantic night out -- just a subtle shift in energy -- it mixes things up and is fun to do every once in awhile.

BagLadie · Oct 18th, 2009, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by NLVOEWITHLV

^^^ You sound alot like me... When I'm cooking in the kitchen and I hear DH's key in the lock on our front door my heart begins to thud, I drop everything and greet him with open arms!!! No matter what has happened throughout the course of my day being in his arms makes everything better. Last night we went to the movies and we held hands all the way to the car, I saw him shoot me a side glance then smile... that makes me feel all fluttery and warm. I think were a sappy pair.

You are blessed. that's what a good relationship is all about. sadly, I NEVER had that in my marriage....always wanted it.

Jeannam2008 · Oct 18th, 2009, 11:21 PM

I so WISH that feeling would last forever in a relationship. I miss the new fresh love days. It's only been 2 years for me and my SO, and already the feeling is gone. I still love him. I just don't care for cuddling,making out, and all that other stuff anymore. I just wish the new love feeling lasted longer!!! :(
I'm really ready to get married, and really really ready to have a baby, I want children and lately for the past couple months I've wanted them even more, but how can you want that when the spark or flame has really died down...

I think I need help on how to "re-fuel" our relationship...

hairsprayhead · Oct 19th, 2009, 08:56 AM

I think it waxes and wanes. I really like KristyDarling's analogy of it- the newness and excitement of a budding relationship IS like wearing stiletto heels, while the familiarity and comfort of a long-term relationship is more like wearing comfy socks (or a pair of flats). I like the stiletto heels, but I can't wear them forever. No one can.

I've been married three years now and I can say there are still so many times I look over at Husband and I get butterflies in my stomach- I can't believe I'm married to such a good-looking, smart guy! But the day-to-day details of life are rarely sexy, and so there are also times where I just want to sit next to him in bed while watching a good TV show and hold his hand.

Everybody gets excited over the butterflies that happen in a new or budding relationship, sure, but I think the "warm fuzzies" and comfort of knowing you have such a great person to spend your life with is just as exciting. Only in a different way.

NLVOEWITHLV · Oct 19th, 2009, 10:19 AM

HMMMM... First and foremost, if I were you, I would ask myself why don't I care to cuddle, make out, etc? If the relationship is strong and you guys do share those special "moments" sometimes then you guys are probably fine... To re-fuel my marriage DH and I will take a mini vacay. Changing your scenery and sharing intimate moments in a new setting can do WONDERS for rekindling the flaming desires... Sometimes we just wake up either on a weekend or call into work and go to Galveston, we'll take a ferry ride, walk on the beach, watch the sunrise or set, stay at the Hilton near Kemah or a cozy bed and breakfast, these are the times when I fall in love with DH all over again... As far as kids are concerned I would wait if I were you. However, having kids is a personal choice and only you know when you're ready... IMO 2 years really isn't super long, I've been with DH 8 years, married for 5 years and I'm not ready for kids (I'm only 24

), and if you have some questions regarding a dying flame bringing kids into the equation might make the situation worse!!! HTH!!! Good luck with whatever you decide!!!

Originally Posted by Jeannam2008

I so WISH that feeling would last forever in a relationship. I miss the new fresh love days. It's only been 2 years for me and my SO, and already the feeling is gone. I still love him. I just don't care for cuddling,making out, and all that other stuff anymore. I just wish the new love feeling lasted longer!!! :(
I'm really ready to get married, and really really ready to have a baby, I want children and lately for the past couple months I've wanted them even more, but how can you want that when the spark or flame has really died down...

I think I need help on how to "re-fuel" our relationship...

Aslan · Oct 19th, 2009, 10:32 AM

According to my Mom, Aunt and Grandma, (I'm just a newlywed, what do I know?) the "fluttery" feelings fade. They are replaced with feelings of deep knowledge, respect (more founded as the years go on), and stability. Sounds like a good tradeoff to me.

HauteMama · Oct 19th, 2009, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by NLVOEWITHLV

HMMMM... First and foremost, if I were you, I would ask myself why don't I care to cuddle, make out, etc? If the relationship is strong and you guys do share those special "moments" sometimes then you guys are probably fine... To re-fuel my marriage DH and I will take a mini vacay. Changing your scenery and sharing intimate moments in a new setting can do WONDERS for rekindling the flaming desires... Sometimes we just wake up either on a weekend or call into work and go to Galveston, we'll take a ferry ride, walk on the beach, watch the sunrise or set, stay at the Hilton near Kemah or a cozy bed and breakfast, these are the times when I fall in love with DH all over again... As far as kids are concerned I would wait if I were you. However, having kids is a personal choice and only you know when you're ready... IMO 2 years really isn't super long, I've been with DH 8 years, married for 5 years and I'm not ready for kids (I'm only 24

), and if you have some questions regarding a dying flame bringing kids into the equation might make the situation worse!!! HTH!!! Good luck with whatever you decide!!!

I completely agree. If you are concerned about your feelings in this relationship (missing and wanting that feeling and not having it), having children will NOT help. Children are a tremendous strain on even the best relationships. There are many sleepless nights and sometimes resentment can build on both sides of a relationship. If that happens and the communication wasn't great between the partners at the start, things are liable to fall apart.

I agree about trying a change of scenery to try to reignite the flame. Otherwise you might need to consider if you just miss the newness of a relationship, in which case the same thing would happen with anyone. Good luck!

Jeannam2008 · Oct 19th, 2009, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by NLVOEWITHLV

HMMMM... First and foremost, if I were you, I would ask myself why don't I care to cuddle, make out, etc? If the relationship is strong and you guys do share those special "moments" sometimes then you guys are probably fine... To re-fuel my marriage DH and I will take a mini vacay. Changing your scenery and sharing intimate moments in a new setting can do WONDERS for rekindling the flaming desires... Sometimes we just wake up either on a weekend or call into work and go to Galveston, we'll take a ferry ride, walk on the beach, watch the sunrise or set, stay at the Hilton near Kemah or a cozy bed and breakfast, these are the times when I fall in love with DH all over again... As far as kids are concerned I would wait if I were you. However, having kids is a personal choice and only you know when you're ready... IMO 2 years really isn't super long, I've been with DH 8 years, married for 5 years and I'm not ready for kids (I'm only 24

), and if you have some questions regarding a dying flame bringing kids into the equation might make the situation worse!!! HTH!!! Good luck with whatever you decide!!!

Very helpful! Thank you! :)
We can't take mini vacays right now because we are both in college and money is pretty tight untill after graduation. I do see myself marrying him, I honestly believe he's the one, it's just the flame isn't there anymore for all the intimate stuff.

NLVOEWITHLV · Oct 19th, 2009, 12:42 PM

^^^ You're very welcome!!! Not to be explicit, but have you ever thought about trying new things to spark more of a flame? My BF threw a "passion party" and I tricked DH into going (it was a couples thing) I'm not into most toys, but we got some very interesting edible things that we love!!! We also love couples retreats, like going to the spa and getting massages etc I find that after an afternoon of pampering and talking EVERYTHING we fill for each other is rekindled. Also there's a saying that is soooo true!!! "absence makes the heart grow fonder"... when either of us go somewhere ie hanging solo with our friends or out of town etc when we see each other again we cant wait to "get together"!!! Also spontaneity can do the trick... I've been known to pack a picnic and steal DH for a few hours on lunch, book a hotel room spend some QT there and return after work of some post traumatic stress relief... When you're on a budget you just have to use your imagination and be creative, oh and like the commercial says don't be afraid to let your freak flag fly!!! If you have any questions or something feel free to PM me!!!

Oct 15th, 2009, 05:47 PM	#46
NLVOEWITHLV OP Member Joined: Apr 2009 Location: Houston Posts: 742	^^^ You sound alot like me... When I'm cooking in the kitchen and I hear DH's key in the lock on our front door my heart begins to thud, I drop everything and greet him with open arms!!! No matter what has happened throughout the course of my day being in his arms makes everything better. Last night we went to the movies and we held hands all the way to the car, I saw him shoot me a side glance then smile... that makes me feel all fluttery and warm. I think were a sappy pair.
	__________________ "Marriage is like a roller coaster- at first you have butterflies or may be scared, at times you may wonder what you've gotten yourself into and if you can handle it, but once the ride begins its amazing and you would DEFINITELY do it all over again!!!!"

Oct 18th, 2009, 01:03 AM	#49
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,356	We've been together 12 years and married for 8, and I do not feel the butterflies anymore...but it's all good. I get the "warm fuzzys" instead. Warm fuzzies are comfy socks whereas the butterflies are a pair of stiletto heels! The butterflies were fun while they lasted but my personality is pretty even-keeled and I tend to prefer ease and stability over excitement. It works out just fine for our marriage. We do get a very toned down version of that "newness" feeling whenever we get dressed up for a romantic night out -- just a subtle shift in energy -- it mixes things up and is fun to do every once in awhile.
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,356	Last edited by KristyDarling; Oct 18th, 2009 at 01:07 AM.

Oct 18th, 2009, 11:21 PM	#51
Jeannam2008 Fashion Forward Joined: Jul 2009 Location: Everyone loves an eastcoast girl. Posts: 518	I so WISH that feeling would last forever in a relationship. I miss the new fresh love days. It's only been 2 years for me and my SO, and already the feeling is gone. I still love him. I just don't care for cuddling,making out, and all that other stuff anymore. I just wish the new love feeling lasted longer!!! :( I'm really ready to get married, and really really ready to have a baby, I want children and lately for the past couple months I've wanted them even more, but how can you want that when the spark or flame has really died down... I think I need help on how to "re-fuel" our relationship...
	__________________ Happy Birthday to me on December 15th. 20 years old <3 Desperately searching for: Dooney & Bourke, Shadow DB Small Odine Bag. Coach Leah Op Art Signature Lime Green Patent Wristlet. Message me if you find a good deal on one of them, & I will love you forever

Oct 19th, 2009, 08:56 AM	#52
hairsprayhead YouTellMeDoingWhat Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 728	I think it waxes and wanes. I really like KristyDarling's analogy of it- the newness and excitement of a budding relationship IS like wearing stiletto heels, while the familiarity and comfort of a long-term relationship is more like wearing comfy socks (or a pair of flats). I like the stiletto heels, but I can't wear them forever. No one can. I've been married three years now and I can say there are still so many times I look over at Husband and I get butterflies in my stomach- I can't believe I'm married to such a good-looking, smart guy! But the day-to-day details of life are rarely sexy, and so there are also times where I just want to sit next to him in bed while watching a good TV show and hold his hand. Everybody gets excited over the butterflies that happen in a new or budding relationship, sure, but I think the "warm fuzzies" and comfort of knowing you have such a great person to spend your life with is just as exciting. Only in a different way.
	__________________ http://chloeconspiracy.blogspot.com

Oct 19th, 2009, 10:32 AM	#54
Aslan liberty+compassion Joined: Nov 2006 Location: New York Posts: 3,372	According to my Mom, Aunt and Grandma, (I'm just a newlywed, what do I know?) the "fluttery" feelings fade. They are replaced with feelings of deep knowledge, respect (more founded as the years go on), and stability. Sounds like a good tradeoff to me.
	__________________

Oct 19th, 2009, 12:42 PM	#57
NLVOEWITHLV OP Member Joined: Apr 2009 Location: Houston Posts: 742	^^^ You're very welcome!!! Not to be explicit, but have you ever thought about trying new things to spark more of a flame? My BF threw a "passion party" and I tricked DH into going (it was a couples thing) I'm not into most toys, but we got some very interesting edible things that we love!!! We also love couples retreats, like going to the spa and getting massages etc I find that after an afternoon of pampering and talking EVERYTHING we fill for each other is rekindled. Also there's a saying that is soooo true!!! "absence makes the heart grow fonder"... when either of us go somewhere ie hanging solo with our friends or out of town etc when we see each other again we cant wait to "get together"!!! Also spontaneity can do the trick... I've been known to pack a picnic and steal DH for a few hours on lunch, book a hotel room spend some QT there and return after work of some post traumatic stress relief... When you're on a budget you just have to use your imagination and be creative, oh and like the commercial says don't be afraid to let your freak flag fly!!! If you have any questions or something feel free to PM me!!!
	__________________ "Marriage is like a roller coaster- at first you have butterflies or may be scared, at times you may wonder what you've gotten yourself into and if you can handle it, but once the ride begins its amazing and you would DEFINITELY do it all over again!!!!"

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