[Jahpson]

I feel a little emotional writing this, but it makes me feel a little better getting my feelings out.

My daddy passed away 2 weeks ago. He suffered a heart attack while driving his car. He lost control of the wheel and hit two other cars. He went onto heaven at the scene.

I feel so empty and dark inside. me..daddy's girl

Has anyone else lost a parent? How have you coped? because right now, I feel like: Life...whats the point?

I think about him ALL the time, and I hope that my phone will ring and he will say "Tammy? its Dad"

I just got back from the Funeral [Boston, MA] and i must say that I am doing alot better than can be expected. However I am still grieving inside. I didnt celebrate Christmas, and although Im suppose to be going out tonite for New Years, I just dont feel in the mood for it right now.

My daddy, wont ever get to walk me down the aisle...or see his grandkid[s]

The good news is that I got to keep the flag that was on his casket [he was a veteran] So I will always treasure that.

My dad was a true gentleman. I remeber the father daughter dances we went to, he ALWAYS held my door open, pulled my chair out and we even danced to the songs. He always told me that is how a man should treat a woman.

I miss my daddy so much. :confused1 : < my feelings

[Litigatrix]

I am so sorry to hear this. I have never lost a parent, and I can't imagine how difficult it will be when the time comes, so unfortunately, I have no words of advice for you.

[Jahpson]

^ yes, it is very difficult. It's like what can you say, KWIM? I guess I just wanted to vent online a little

well, also there is this guy I have been seeing. Very supportive from the beginning. Well, his ways kind of remind me of my daddy. I kind of realized that I have been leaning on him more then ever. Should I be doing this? I have been wanting to spend every moment with him, as I dont want to be alone.

[merika]

Originally Posted by JahpsonLoveYou

I feel a little emotional writing this, but it makes me feel a little better getting my feelings out.

My daddy passed away 2 weeks ago. He suffered a heart attack while driving his car. He lost control of the wheel and hit two other cars. He went onto heaven at the scene.

I feel so empty and dark inside. me..daddy's girl

Has anyone else lost a parent? How have you coped? because right now, I feel like: Life...whats the point?

I think about him ALL the time, and I hope that my phone will ring and he will say "Tammy? its Dad"

I just got back from the Funeral [Boston, MA] and i must say that I am doing alot better than can be expected. However I am still grieving inside. I didnt celebrate Christmas, and although Im suppose to be going out tonite for New Years, I just dont feel in the mood for it right now.

My daddy, wont ever get to walk me down the aisle...or see his grandkid[s]

The good news is that I got to keep the flag that was on his casket [he was a veteran] So I will always treasure that.

My dad was a true gentleman. I remeber the father daughter dances we went to, he ALWAYS held my door open, pulled my chair out and we even danced to the songs. He always told me that is how a man should treat a woman.

I miss my daddy so much. :confused1 : < my feelings

I was a true Daddy's girl. My father died 16 years ago, and I still miss him. He died of a heart attack too - taught some classes, came home and went to bed saying he was tired and passed in his sleep. He was only 54.

I hurt so much that thinking about it still makes me cry. I regretted every spat I'd ever had with him, every bad thing I said to him and I wished I could have told him how much I loved him and appreciated his love without taking everything for granted.

So I wrote him a letter, and told him all that.

But life still goes on. My son was born 8 years later - and he's the spitting image of my dad! People talk about him, we remember him and we remember the good times we had.

And sometimes I really have the feeling that he's watching over me.

[caxe]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that. As someone with both parents still alive and married, I cannot know the grief that you must be feeling, but I would like to offer you some sympathy and well wishes. It hurts a lot in the beginning, I'm certain, but based on what I've been told from friends and family who have lost parents, the hurt starts to lessen eventually, although the pain of the loss never goes away.

As the holiday season draws to a close, I wish you and your family well, and hope that you will be strong and get through this while retaining precious memories of your father.

Sending lots of ((((((((hugs)))))))) your way...

Stay strong.

[KatsBags]

Hugs to you, Tammy! I am so very sorry for your loss.

I lost my Dad about a year and a half ago. We were so close...my sadness was and is beyond words.

In my experience...the grief comes in waves. The first year was absolutely the most difficult...his birthday, the holidays and the first anniversary of his death.

But even now, I find myself crying at the most unexpected times. My daughter received a cute frame from a friend for Christmas. She, without my knowing, cut out a picture of "Gramps" and put it in that frame. The problem...it was one of my favorites of both of them. I'm certainly not upset with her but I'm sad that the picture is ruined. I'm hoping that I can find the negative.

Also, know that people really mean well. Although it was difficult not to cry, it was comforting when someone gave me a hug and just said I'm sorry. I could not read the sympathy cards, though, for about a month.

We also had a military funeral as he was also a veteren. It was wonderfully fitting and very comforting. My mom has the flag at her house.

Take care and know you're in my thoughts.

PM me, if you need to talk.

[gillianna]

I am so sorry for your loss. HUGS.... I think it will take some time for it to sink in that he is gone. My mother died in 2002. The first year was the hardest. Like you are doing now--there will be so may things you will think about. Dad would like this, Dad should be here. I think that is still the cause of some anger--I feel my Mom should be here watching her only grandkids grow. The memories and love you have for your Dad can never be taken away, they live in your heart and are with you every moment. So when you are feeling sad try to remember something good too. Like the father daughter dances.....that sounds like so much fun.
You also need to know that your Dad did his best to make you into the woman you are today and continue to do things that will make him proud. He would not want you to feel like life was over. He would want you to go out and have wonderful experiences, be surrounded by people who love you and most of all be happy. I wish I could say there is something that takes the pain away but it just seems to be a process of accepting things and trying to move on without feeling so sad. I can tell you that it still hurts but it does get better. I honestly would like to say that I feel my mom is our guardian angel. Now I am rambling but want to tell you a story why I think this. Two years ago my daughter was home from school sick. We were outside blowing bubbles and she kept saying they were for grandma in heaven. She was very excited to tell her grandmother to catch the bubbles. She was 6 at the time. We came inside. She went to her room and decided to try to talk to a neighbor boy thru her bedroom window. (She never did something like this in her whole life). She moved a piece of furniture to get to her window. Moved back the drapes, wooden blinds and unlocked a child safety lock and the window locks. She opened the window and starting screaming out hi to her friend. Well she FELL OUT the second story window and landed on the small deck below it with her rear end sitting in a compost bucket that I put out there that morning for the first time while I was washing the floor. She then came inside and walked past her father and grandfather who was sitting in the family room. She went in her room and closed the window, put the wood binds and curtains back and moved the furniture. About a hour later she said her back hurt and I would be mad at her. Then she told me she fell out the window. I didn't believe her at first because this was so crazy. I went to her room and found everything OK except for her screen off the window and down on the small deck. Called my sis who is a doctor and she said my daughter was OK if she was running around. Took her to the hospital and they said she was perfect.....took her to her regular doctor 2 days later and he said she was fine. She had a slight bruise on her back in a line where her butt sat in the plastic compost bucket. In my heart I really believe Mom was there for us. I mean she could have hit any part of her body on the wood railings of the deck-it was only about 4 X 5. Then below the 4 steps of the deck it is a concrete patio....so falling on that would be horrible. I just feel that it was a miracle she did not injure herself and feel her talking to her grandmother that day and perhaps in my mind this was a sign that no matter what her grandmother is watching over us. I hope this makes sense. So even when you feel alone remember your Dad is with you.
HUGS.

[Litigatrix]

Originally Posted by JahpsonLoveYou

^ yes, it is very difficult. It's like what can you say, KWIM? I guess I just wanted to vent online a little

well, also there is this guy I have been seeing. Very supportive from the beginning. Well, his ways kind of remind me of my daddy. I kind of realized that I have been leaning on him more then ever. Should I be doing this? I have been wanting to spend every moment with him, as I dont want to be alone.

I certainly don't think it is wrong for you to want to be with your guy during this difficult time in your life. Hopefully he will really be there for you. You should be around the people you love and who love you.

[Vegas Long Legs]

God bless you. I'm a 50 year old orphan. I'll always feel this way, till the day I die. My mom has been gone 38 years & dad 18.

[Jahpson]

Originally Posted by gillianna

I am so sorry for your loss. HUGS.... I think it will take some time for it to sink in that he is gone. My mother died in 2002. The first year was the hardest. Like you are doing now--there will be so may things you will think about. Dad would like this, Dad should be here. I think that is still the cause of some anger--I feel my Mom should be here watching her only grandkids grow. The memories and love you have for your Dad can never be taken away, they live in your heart and are with you every moment. So when you are feeling sad try to remember something good too. Like the father daughter dances.....that sounds like so much fun.
You also need to know that your Dad did his best to make you into the woman you are today and continue to do things that will make him proud. He would not want you to feel like life was over. He would want you to go out and have wonderful experiences, be surrounded by people who love you and most of all be happy. I wish I could say there is something that takes the pain away but it just seems to be a process of accepting things and trying to move on without feeling so sad. I can tell you that it still hurts but it does get better. I honestly would like to say that I feel my mom is our guardian angel. Now I am rambling but want to tell you a story why I think this. Two years ago my daughter was home from school sick. We were outside blowing bubbles and she kept saying they were for grandma in heaven. She was very excited to tell her grandmother to catch the bubbles. She was 6 at the time. We came inside. She went to her room and decided to try to talk to a neighbor boy thru her bedroom window. (She never did something like this in her whole life). She moved a piece of furniture to get to her window. Moved back the drapes, wooden blinds and unlocked a child safety lock and the window locks. She opened the window and starting screaming out hi to her friend. Well she FELL OUT the second story window and landed on the small deck below it with her rear end sitting in a compost bucket that I put out there that morning for the first time while I was washing the floor. She then came inside and walked past her father and grandfather who was sitting in the family room. She went in her room and closed the window, put the wood binds and curtains back and moved the furniture. About a hour later she said her back hurt and I would be mad at her. Then she told me she fell out the window. I didn't believe her at first because this was so crazy. I went to her room and found everything OK except for her screen off the window and down on the small deck. Called my sis who is a doctor and she said my daughter was OK if she was running around. Took her to the hospital and they said she was perfect.....took her to her regular doctor 2 days later and he said she was fine. She had a slight bruise on her back in a line where her butt sat in the plastic compost bucket. In my heart I really believe Mom was there for us. I mean she could have hit any part of her body on the wood railings of the deck-it was only about 4 X 5. Then below the 4 steps of the deck it is a concrete patio....so falling on that would be horrible. I just feel that it was a miracle she did not injure herself and feel her talking to her grandmother that day and perhaps in my mind this was a sign that no matter what her grandmother is watching over us. I hope this makes sense. So even when you feel alone remember your Dad is with you.
HUGS.

what a beautiful story!! thank you for sharing that.

[HubbaWubba]

Hugs to you. I know what it's like to loose both of my parents. My dad died a tragic way when I was 14. I was a true daddy's girl too. What I can tell you is that you will never stop missing him. It hurts like heck but just know that your dad didn't have to suffer and he went quickly. I consider my dad my guardian angel and is always watching out for me. Your new guy sounds like a nice person. You need all the support you can get now. If you want to talk, just pm me.

[Jahpson]

Thank you all for your kind words and stories!!

merika I love that idea of writing a letter to my father. I know exactly how you feel. i think of the arguments and everything that happened, and those trying times havent really mattered at this point. I just really miss him.

Our last conversation I did tell him that I loved him. But i still wish that I was with him. Idk, I kind of wish that was me in that car and not him. Plus, it hurts me even more that he was by himself in that car.

When I'm by myself, I think of the last time I hugged him, kissed him on the cheek...I just can't believe it.

I have loads of photos of my father when he was younger and fairly recent ones, so I definitely have something for my future kids to look at. I look at the photos everyday.

[merika]

Originally Posted by JahpsonLoveYou

Thank you all for your kind words and stories!!

merika I love that idea of writing a letter to my father. I know exactly how you feel. i think of the arguments and everything that happened, and those trying times havent really mattered at this point. I just really miss him.

Our last conversation I did tell him that I loved him. But i still wish that I was with him. Idk, I kind of wish that was me in that car and not him. Plus, it hurts me even more that he was by himself in that car.

When I'm by myself, I think of the last time I hugged him, kissed him on the cheek...I just can't believe it.

I have loads of photos of my father when he was younger and fairly recent ones, so I definitely have something for my future kids to look at. I look at the photos everyday.

Something in your original post struck me very hard - I wrote "I know you won't be there to walk me up the aisle to the man I will marry, and you won't be there to hold your grandchildren" in the letter I wrote my father.

[IntlSet]

JahpsonLoveYou, I had no idea... I'm so sorry for your loss.

[BagLuver]

I lost my dad almost two years ago. I know what you're going through and how deep the pain is. Keeping a journal and writing about my dad or to my dad helped me a lot in the months after he died. *hugs* I am very sorry for your loss.