[~Fabulousity~]

^^^ awww darn! I hate that. Well who knows maybe this thing with the other girl won't work out.

[Liz_x3]

He's practically in love with her LOL. The way he's always by her side and stares at her and etc.

He's really friendly to me though too even though I think that's just his personality. Damn, if I only knew earlier that I would be like this then I would have immediately started making some moves before he even knew that other girl was on the radar.

[VPT]

OP's man is like this?

[April_Skye]

^^!!!

hey hes pretty spunky! lol

To the OP, i agree. Character goes a LONG way in my books. Love is blind.

And so what if hes flirting with another girl? The game's still on! Show a little bra strap, give him a cute smile and wear some extra-nice perfume! ooh la la...

[Sabine]

I was in the same position as you. I totally fell for an sweet guy that i didn't feel fisically attracted to. My friends kept saying that he was not for me, i used to only date men that were amazingly handsome but i never really felt anything. I just dated these men because everybody else thault they were great. We became friends but i knew he was inlove with me. After 1,5 years i decided to give it a shot, i was so scared and i denied loving him for so long. Now we are together for 3,5 and i think he is so sexy, the more i began loving him i started loving his looks.

I would advice you to give yourself some time, don't force anything

[fiatflux]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

Okay, ladies, I've come to realize that YES I am attracted to him.
I've even shockingly realized that I find him a little physically attractive too. I think who he is, his personality and talents, etc. took over my eyes.
And how have I come to this conclusion?
The other night I happened to watch him play the piano while singing a song he wrote and my entire body went crazy. I felt butterflies, my pulse felt weird, my head became dizzy, it was so clearly obvious.

Aww..this is so cute! Now that you can admit your true feelings to yourself, you can start showing them to him subtly and see where it goes. Do you think this other girl is interested in him? Don't despair; I think the jury's still out on this one...

[Liz_x3]

Originally Posted by VPT

OP's man is like this?

LOL not exactly. Maybe similar. He's an actor if that says anything but he's so multi-talented in pretty much everything which I find so hot.

[Liz_x3]

Originally Posted by fiatflux

Aww..this is so cute! Now that you can admit your true feelings to yourself, you can start showing them to him subtly and see where it goes. Do you think this other girl is interested in him? Don't despair; I think the jury's still out on this one...

I know she doesn't hate him. And I'm pretty sure she has some feelings for him. The attraction looks mutual between them two. But then again at the same time it kind of looks like a good friendship with a little flirtation. What sucks is that I'm casual friends with this girl since I see her often.

[Zophie]

Originally Posted by BagLadie

Chemistry and attraction go waaaaay beyond physical appearances. If there is chemistry....you will feel it immediately. The way a man smells without cologne has a lot to do with it too. You can have the most beautiful man in the world in front of you and have him do nothing for you. But when there is chemistry between two people.....it's inevitable. That's why I love the saying, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder". What one person finds attractive, another may not.

That is so true. I have met guys who were gorgeous and just didn't appeal to me at all. And one recently I met I actually felt like he smelled funny. There is a lot based on scent, more than I think we even realize.

[pointie]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

Okay, ladies, I've come to realize that YES I am attracted to him.

I've even shockingly realized that I find him a little physically attractive too. I think who he is, his personality and talents, etc. took over my eyes.

And how have I come to this conclusion?

The other night I happened to watch him play the piano while singing a song he wrote and my entire body went crazy. I felt butterflies, my pulse felt weird, my head became dizzy, it was so clearly obvious.

Now are you guys ready for the huge kicker? While I have discovered my honest feelings, I also can obviously see that he has a thing for another girl. And I do feel a little crushed. For the first time I've really fell for someone not based on their looks (so basically I'm in "like" instead of lust like I usually am) and it's not going to end up happily. But that's life. At least I've learned something about myself.

But still... I do feel a little teary inside.

Oh dear, I feel for you. I have a (long distance) friend with whom I share common interests, education and background AND sarcastic sense of humour. But interested? never -- he's overweight and never exercises and etc. we had a drunken make-out one night, and for a year I was mooning - "oh gosh, I do think R is fabulously attractive", etc. We always have a great time together but nothing beyond platonic since the evening of the snogfest.

but for all that time, I could NEVER picture him naked. call me a body fascist, but I would not know what to do with someone 40 pounds overweight. really. Please don't yell at me, but I have ALWAYS gone for lean runner types, generally with PhDs.

then I found out that he has been seeing someone for almost a year. someone twelve years younger than me, not particularly brilliant, and also rather rubenesque (for the record, I have the body of a seventeen year old boy, and he wants it back!). I was so shattered!! and angry! he never told me! (that in itself is another story, but sticking to the point).

But ultimately I was relieved. I like what I like, and the psychological effort that it would have taken to make me really want to shag him would not be sustainable in the long run. and so five days after I found out about the girlfriend, I met a supercute, lean, handsome and brilliant guy. and it clicks on so many levels, but the physical is so there.

I would advise to sit back, relax and live your life. if the attraction sustains over more time then he will come around, but don't keep your attention focussed on one person. Il y a beaucoup des poisson dans la mer.

[LOREBUNDE]

I know I was attracted to this guy and he was ugly! (before I was married) Thinking back though, I think it was because he was ugly, it made me feel better about myself? I guess i had low self-esteem. I also found I could be myself more than with any other guy. I always felt intimadated by attractive guys. I figurered why would they want to be with me, they were cute and could have anybody. Anyway, sex with this ugly guy was fantastic! Funny, as the relationship went on, I found out he was cheating and had tons of girls. Because I found him unattractive, I felt no one else would want him but was definately wrong.

[rainrowan]

Originally Posted by VPT

hey isn't that the "rubber band man" from the Staples commercial? that actor is pretty cute

[ChinaChao]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

This is about the third time this has happened to me in the past 5 years and it's happening to me right now. I meet a guy. Get to know him a little bit through conversation. Then at whatever given moment, it hits me that I'm attracted to him (this usually always seem to occur when I realize that jealousy rises in me whenever I see him paying attention to other women). Here's the ringer: I find him unattractive.

So while who he is as a person and his personality and just life all together are completely enthralling to me and has me head over heels, I can't help that everytime I look at him I find myself thinking that I could never kiss this guy let alone even snuggle up next to him.

I know that looks are only skin deep but I'm one of those people that needs physical attraction and chemistry to add up the equation of my feeligns.

My heart is basically saying "yes" but my brain is saying "no" and my brain overpowers my heart. The pathetic thing is that I know if I took who he is inside and put it into a different person who I find attractive I wouldn't be fighting what to do inside of me.

Any tips on how to let the looks matter go?

If you are someone who is into looks then yeah, see how time progresses and if you can't find yourself standing the way he looks, it's time to NOT compromise and find the ENTIRE package that you want. I once knew a girl that wanted a less attractive guy because she just didn't other woman to look at him! That is her and well, I like a good look. My ex was fat and I really do not like overweight guys so eventually, I did find myself as that one episode in Sex and the City says, NOT WANTING TO SHOW him around because I was embarassed of him! I even secretly wished he would some day lose weight. If you can't ACCEPT them, don't date them when you realize you can't. That's what I think.

[bernz84]

While I don't have high standards for looks when it comes to potential boyfriends (I think of all the guys I've liked, only one was truly considered "hot"), I don't think you should have to settle for someone that makes you cringe when you think about kissing him. Been there, done that. I felt like an awful person because I didn't think I was one to judge, but on the flip side, I think it was for the better. I wouldn't want any guy to just simply go out with me because he felt bad for me. Regardless of looks, liking and falling in love with someone should feel natural, not forced.

[VPT]

Originally Posted by rainrowan

hey isn't that the "rubber band man" from the Staples commercial? that actor is pretty cute

Sorry no idea if Crabman from My Name Is Earl acted in Staples commercials.