[swee7bebe]

Originally Posted by imashopaholic

Physical attraction isn't everything. Even the good looking guys age, go bald and turn into prunes eventually so if you can find a man that makes you laugh, takes good care of you and is someone you find attractive on the inside, I say grab hold of him and don't let go. They're hard to come by.

ITA!!!!!!! My ex was really good looking and I was soooo attracted to him, but he treated me like crap. The guy I'm dating now isn't all that attractive but has an awesome personality - he's one of the nicest guys I know, he makes me laugh hysterically, and we can talk to each other for hours. His personality is what makes me attracted to him.

[Liz_x3]

Originally Posted by nooch

You do find him attractive. You just don't want to admit it to yourself because maybe he isn't conventionally attractive.

Finding someone not conventionally attractive to be attractive isn't settling, it's opening your eyes and your mind.

I really don't find him attractive at all. And it's not just that he isn't conventionally attractive but that I feel absolutely no chemistry physically with him and actually lean more torward the repulsed side of things.

But the thing is that he has an amazing, funny, interesting personality. He's so full of ambition and I know he's going to be an incredible person in the future. He's an actor by the way LOL.

I know for a fact that if I got really smashed, I would more then likely be all over him.

It's just very hard for me to ignore the fact that I'm not physically attracted to him and in all honesty, it really sucks.

[lolitakali]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

This is about the third time this has happened to me in the past 5 years and it's happening to me right now. I meet a guy. Get to know him a little bit through conversation. Then at whatever given moment, it hits me that I'm attracted to him (this usually always seem to occur when I realize that jealousy rises in me whenever I see him paying attention to other women). Here's the ringer: I find him unattractive.

So while who he is as a person and his personality and just life all together are completely enthralling to me and has me head over heels, I can't help that everytime I look at him I find myself thinking that I could never kiss this guy let alone even snuggle up next to him.

I know that looks are only skin deep but I'm one of those people that needs physical attraction and chemistry to add up the equation of my feeligns.

My heart is basically saying "yes" but my brain is saying "no" and my brain overpowers my heart. The pathetic thing is that I know if I took who he is inside and put it into a different person who I find attractive I wouldn't be fighting what to do inside of me.

Any tips on how to let the looks matter go?

Does he has money? Is he capable to give you a stable/secure life?

Most women tend to look for that secure provider in her man for that "long term".

Dunno, not you... so you have the answer.

[kbell]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

I really don't find him attractive at all. And it's not just that he isn't conventionally attractive but that I feel absolutely no chemistry physically with him and actually lean more torward the repulsed side of things.

But the thing is that he has an amazing, funny, interesting personality. He's so full of ambition and I know he's going to be an incredible person in the future. He's an actor by the way LOL.

I know for a fact that if I got really smashed, I would more then likely be all over him.

It's just very hard for me to ignore the fact that I'm not physically attracted to him and in all honesty, it really sucks.

I honestly don't think there's any 'getting over' borderline repulsed. Seriously if getting smashed is the only way you'd be all over him definitely forget it unless you're an alcoholic.

[sammydoll]

Honestly, if you aren't physically attracted to him it probably wont work out. No matter what anyone trys to tell you- looks matter. And quite honestly, they matter a lot. Don't settle.

I dated someone i wasn't attracted to physically when i was really young and it just turned into a big mess.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

I really don't find him attractive at all. And it's not just that he isn't conventionally attractive but that I feel absolutely no chemistry physically with him and actually lean more torward the repulsed side of things.

But the thing is that he has an amazing, funny, interesting personality. He's so full of ambition and I know he's going to be an incredible person in the future. He's an actor by the way LOL.

I know for a fact that if I got really smashed, I would more then likely be all over him.

It's just very hard for me to ignore the fact that I'm not physically attracted to him and in all honesty, it really sucks.

Ooooh, this made me laugh. Well, if you're almost repulsed, I don't know then.

I'd say continue being friends with him since you like him as a person.... you never know.

[rainrowan]

Is he not attractive in a GQ sort of way? I'm not sure what your definition of unattractive is... you are repulsed as in... he has foot-long nose hairs, or sweaty and swarthy? Can the issues be remedied with a haircut, shaving, coloring or waxing? LOL I'm just teasing a little but I can see how little things can really put one off.

When I was younger I dated a fellow who had a great sensitive nature and I wasn't attracted in him at all but only as a friend. He never looked at another girl while when we were together and maybe that's why I liked hanging out him too. I guess my immaturity at the time was my undoing because I hurt him greatly by not returning his affection. I wanted sparks to fly or something. I look back now and he wasn't that unattractive, he was average, just like me. I don't know what I was wanting, maybe because I didn't know myself too well.

[Liz_x3]

Originally Posted by rainrowan

Is he not attractive in a GQ sort of way? I'm not sure what your definition of unattractive is... you are repulsed as in... he has foot-long nose hairs, or sweaty and swarthy? Can the issues be remedied with a haircut, shaving, coloring or waxing? LOL I'm just teasing a little but I can see how little things can really put one off.

When I was younger I dated a fellow who had a great sensitive nature and I wasn't attracted in him at all but only as a friend. He never looked at another girl while when we were together and maybe that's why I liked hanging out him too. I guess my immaturity at the time was my undoing because I hurt him greatly by not returning his affection. I wanted sparks to fly or something. I look back now and he wasn't that unattractive, he was average, just like me. I don't know what I was wanting, maybe because I didn't know myself too well.

Well he's not GQ material but I find guys that are completely the opposite of GQ attractive. I'll try to give some details on what I particularly repulses me. And I hate using that word but it seems to fit how I feel.

His skin needs some help. I'm not the type of person to make a huge deal about a zit here or there but his skin is not that great (and it's not even pimples either since he doesn't really have them but more of just his skin in general). It's not terrible but it's bad enough to make me want to not touch it. I feel really bad about typing that but I'm being honest.

He's over six feet which is a HUGE plus in my book but he is a little too skinny for me. He's not neccesarily scrawny, just very slender. I don't like feeling like the strong one out of a couple though. Especially his legs are skinny. That's another huge turn-off. If he gained a little muscle then that wouldn't be a problem.


Those are the main two but overall I don't really find his face very attractive. It's lizard looking if that makes any sense. Okay, now I've made him out to look like a troll but in all reality on the huge spectrum of looks, he's not completely hideous, more torward the average portion.

[paintednightsky]

I'd like to know where you can find a hot guy who is also intellecual. I think guys like that are a rarity! I WISH I could find a guy like that but I think they are all taken! I think that sometimes a girl has to compromise. I'd love a perfect package, but that will take a lifetime to find. For instance I don't find John Mayer to be attractive physically, nor James Blunt, but the fact that they are musically/intellectually gifted makes them really hot in my eyes! Just a random example... I always notice some not so hot guys have hot gfs.

[rainrowan]

OK, he's lean and lanky, lightly muscled in the legs... little changes can really enhance or change a person's appearance tremendously. Doesn't sound too bad to me... except the lizard face... I think it's just part of his build, he's more an ectomorph vs. mesomorph/endomorph (body types)

Take him to Kiehl's or Caswell Massey maybe Armani? where they have facial cleansers for men, and have him try some out. Maybe his complexion just needs a good exfoliation? I bet he'd be a willing test subject if you are friendly enough terms to do that. You'd be giving him a makeover in a way maybe he'll look improved. Or you could get him to grow a beard or shave, on a dare.... give him some ideas to improve himself, if not for you. You never know...

[SPOILEDkiwi]

There definitely has to be some sort of attraction there. If you can't imagine yourself kissing him, then I don't know how that would work. Looks aren't everything, but they definitely matter to an extent. I went out with an ugly guy once because I really liked him as a person, but it didn't last too long because all I wanted to do was hang out like friends and tried to avoid physical stuff. Luckily I found a guy that's hot and has a great personality. Some women may be able to develop physical attraction to a person over time, but if you're not one of them then maybe it wouldn't work out.

[maddog]

Don't cheat yourself out of having a guy you're physically attracted to. It doesn't sound like you're setting some Hercules type standard. Sometimes even if a guy is conventionally attractive, you may not have physical chemistry, and that's fine, there are plenty of decent guys who you will be physically compatible with.

You said you only find out you're attracted to these guys when they interact with other women and you get jealous. Are you sure it has so much to do with you being attracted to him as you wanting him to be attracted to you? There is a difference. Some women have a tendency to want everyone to be attracted to them (not to say you are like that, or that it's bad, I think it's a female genetic thing to be competitive with other women in attracting men), and I've seen girls in doing so chasing men that they really don't want (and sometimes are taken). It hurts both parties in the end. I guess just make sure you know what it is that you want and don't settle for anything less.

[rubylola]

Originally Posted by Liz_x3

Well he's not GQ material but I find guys that are completely the opposite of GQ attractive. I'll try to give some details on what I particularly repulses me. And I hate using that word but it seems to fit how I feel.

His skin needs some help. I'm not the type of person to make a huge deal about a zit here or there but his skin is not that great (and it's not even pimples either since he doesn't really have them but more of just his skin in general). It's not terrible but it's bad enough to make me want to not touch it. I feel really bad about typing that but I'm being honest.

He's over six feet which is a HUGE plus in my book but he is a little too skinny for me. He's not neccesarily scrawny, just very slender. I don't like feeling like the strong one out of a couple though. Especially his legs are skinny. That's another huge turn-off. If he gained a little muscle then that wouldn't be a problem.


Those are the main two but overall I don't really find his face very attractive. It's lizard looking if that makes any sense. Okay, now I've made him out to look like a troll but in all reality on the huge spectrum of looks, he's not completely hideous, more torward the average portion.

Liz, this really made me laugh- you so do not fancy this guy.

I think Maddog may have a point about you being unsettled by him flirting with other girls because you like the fact he likes you. No shame in that, but you need to be honest with yourself or you are going to get drunk and get intimate with a guy you are not interested in: to find out if you are able to get past your mild repulsion.

When I was single on a couple of occasions I ended up seeing guys who were not up to my usual aesthetic standards because in one case we were great friends, in the other I had built up a false romantic picture about our relationship- neither lasted long, and in both cases I hurt their feelings and felt a bit crap about myself after. Don't settle for someone who is less attractive than you would like a SO to be, it is really important- well to me anyway, but maybe I am too shallow

[VPT]

Whenever you look at his face I guess keep reminding yourself of what his attraction really is.

IDK but I used to hang out with this guy (in a group) whose face was a mess - chicken pox and acne scars, hairstyle and glasses that don't match his looks, etc.. but when he took off his shirt OMG his pecs, biceps, triceps..!!!!

[~Fabulousity~]

Seems in situations like these the heart wins in the end and you start to pay less and less attention to looks