Any ladies here DON'T KISS on the FIRST DATE?

TresChic35 · Jun 15th, 2008, 05:12 AM

Just got back from a fun night out in Boston. I'm a very conservative girl and I never ever kiss on the first date; it takes several dates!

I can't sleep because I keep on thinking about this...

So basically, when a guy is trying to kiss you and the mood is amazing, how do you break it to the guy that you don't want to move too fast and kiss on the first date?

My "turning head" method is getting old and it leaves guys frustrated!

Guys that I've dated have kept on trying and they just get very disappointed. Am I playing too hard to get?

PS: I'm also a proud virgin (waiting for Mr.Right......embarrassing to admit on a public forum hehe). I feel like every cocky guy that I've dated just wants to get laid; thats why I've never been in a long relationship. How do you ladies find decent guys? I can't seem to find any guys that are right for me (they don't exist)!

VPT · Jun 15th, 2008, 07:24 AM

Depends on the date. If he's obnoxious he won't get a kiss. If he's so-so, he may never get a kiss. If he's HOT, he WILL get a kisssssssssssss!!!!!

I remember some guy I dated for a while - he stole a kiss from me... he forced a kiss on me I was too weak to resist. Immediately afterwards I slapped him tight across his face. I didn't even like him enough to want to kiss him!

elizat · Jun 15th, 2008, 08:14 AM

It depends for me too. I try to not kiss until at least 2-3 dates for some reason and I also prefer to pay for myself at the start. Plus, so many guys act like they expect you to kiss them, even if it went poorly. That really puts me off.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 15th, 2008, 09:17 AM

when i was younger, i would say most likely yes if the date went well. but now, i would say HELL NO!!

im sure some of you all remember my crazy story about how my three friends all caught oral herpies and vaginal herpies from ONE ANOTHER by sharing all sorts of stuff (and people). i tried to google search that post i made in someone's thread, but it pulls up over 1000 things soooo.. i guess ill have to wait for the search to come back on.. oh search.. how i miss you..

Sunshine · Jun 15th, 2008, 09:31 AM

Dear god...I slept with my husband the first night we went out...we moved in together a month later and have been married 5 years now. I guess I did kiss on the first date and then some. LOL

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

Dear god...I slept with my husband the first night we went out...we moved in together a month later and have been married 5 years now. I guess I did kiss on the first date and then some. LOL

If I were on a date, and the connection was there, then I would kiss him, I dont see anything wrong with a kiss. If the connection was there, and I liked him more than a kiss well.....

nataliam1976 · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine

Dear god...I slept with my husband the first night we went out...we moved in together a month later and have been married 5 years now. I guess I did kiss on the first date and then some. LOL

you and me, ho !

You might laugh, but after we had sex I felt something I never did before. We were lying hugging and even though I didnt know him that well, I felt so incredibly safe and happy in his arms and it was amazing. That moment had a big impact on our being together

guancia · Jun 15th, 2008, 10:40 AM

Now that I think about it, I don't think I really kiss on the first date either. If the chemistry was there, and the guy kinda leaned it, I think I would go for it. But I was also fairly naive in the past, and don't think I could figure out when a guy wanted to kiss me.

On my first date with my DF, we never kissed. We talked alot, the chemistry was there, we even text messaged each other when he got home and told each other what a great time we had. But we hugged at the end.

I say if you don't want to kiss, open your arms for a hug, turn your head to the other side so they can't sneak in that kiss. If they try, just tell them flat out, I don't kiss on the first date. If they don't get a clue by the wide open arm gesture and force themselves in for a kiss, I would say that the guy is too agressive, and probably not for you.

Being a virgin should not be embarassing to admit. You should pride yourself on that! Everytime someone says they're a virgin, I say, "Good for you!" Wait for someone you love, and loves you back. It will make it all the more special.

artich0ke · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:42 AM

Good luck finding a decent guy in Boston! The only nice ones I've met have come from the suburbs... ever since I actually moved into the city pretty much every guy I have encountered has been a total d-bag! (I'm not really looking that hard, I've got a wonderful boyfriend that I've known forever, it just seems that every time I'm approached by a guy when I'm out alone he's just... not my type.)

I also do admire you for still being a virgin... Sometimes I kind of wish I had waited. I didn't mind losing my virginity, it's who I lost it to that really bothers me. I say wait until you find someone who cares enough about you to wait for both a kiss and a dance between the sheets!

QueenOfDa702 · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artich0ke

Good luck finding a decent guy in Boston! The only nice ones I've met have come from the suburbs... ever since I actually moved into the city pretty much every guy I have encountered has been a total d-bag! (I'm not really looking that hard, I've got a wonderful boyfriend that I've known forever, it just seems that every time I'm approached by a guy when I'm out alone he's just... not my type.)

I also do admire you for still being a virgin... Sometimes I kind of wish I had waited. I didn't mind losing my virginity, it's who I lost it to that really bothers me. I say wait until you find someone who cares enough about you to wait for both a kiss and a dance between the sheets!

ohh I feel you 100% on that one!

MissyBaby · Jun 15th, 2008, 11:52 AM

IDK about your predicament but I do know about waiting for Mr. Right. Oh Lord do I ever know about that. Yeesh. When he comes along...you'll know.

BF (I guess I can start calling him SO, we're talking the walk ya'll) and I started dating in February. it's only been 6 months, but when you KNOW you KNOW. And both of us wanted a kiss on the first date. But we didn't do it cause it was a blind date and a double date. So he kissed me on our second date. Haha.

I guess one way to do it would be to be playful about it....say "Uh uh. You want to kiss me, go out with me again." Or however you feel to do it.

P.S. Your admission....totally feel ya! As am I. BF and I made a pact.....not until we're married....

Sunshine · Jun 15th, 2008, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

you and me, ho !

You might laugh, but after we had sex I felt something I never did before. We were lying hugging and even though I didnt know him that well, I felt so incredibly safe and happy in his arms and it was amazing. That moment had a big impact on our being together

HO fo ShO!!!!

maddog · Jun 15th, 2008, 01:08 PM

^That was my fav line in 40 y/o virgin. LOL!

Come to think of it, I've only kissed on the first date when the guy specifically asked, and I really shouldn't have, I was just too surprised to react to it, so I gave him a quick peck and ran off.

My bf and I didn't kiss until maybe 4 dates in, but he went straight for a real kiss... I dunno what he was thinking. He always hugged me after each date.

I think if the guy starts in, you can turn and give him a quick peck on the cheeks or a quick hug? Aside from the guy that asked outright, I don't think I've had this problem before.

Waiting for the right person is a personal choice that you should be proud of. I think it's more impressive to hear someone makes a decision for themselves and sticks to it regardless of pressure from others.

Lululovebags · Jun 15th, 2008, 01:21 PM

i would only kiss a guy on first dates if he is hot, (shallow, i know) but it really depends on the situation..once u feel it, you will know whether you need to or not..don't worry about being conservative or anything, i'm sure the right guy will be coming along for you! just wait and see...and kudos for still being a virgin...i'm proud of ya!

chessmont · Jun 15th, 2008, 01:23 PM

Well, my college years were the early to mid-seventies and my early career years were the late 70's early 80's. Pretty much, if I didn't feel attracted enough to sleep with the guy, I did not date him. So yes, I did more than kiss on first dates. Sometimes they were the first and last date, oh well. The mid seventies were the waning years of the Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll culture, LOL.

Jun 15th, 2008, 05:12 AM	#1
TresChic35 The Newbie? Location: Boston	Any ladies here DON'T KISS on the FIRST DATE? Just got back from a fun night out in Boston. I'm a very conservative girl and I never ever kiss on the first date; it takes several dates! I can't sleep because I keep on thinking about this... So basically, when a guy is trying to kiss you and the mood is amazing, how do you break it to the guy that you don't want to move too fast and kiss on the first date? My "turning head" method is getting old and it leaves guys frustrated! Guys that I've dated have kept on trying and they just get very disappointed. Am I playing too hard to get? PS: I'm also a proud virgin (waiting for Mr.Right......embarrassing to admit on a public forum hehe). I feel like every cocky guy that I've dated just wants to get laid; thats why I've never been in a long relationship. How do you ladies find decent guys? I can't seem to find any guys that are right for me (they don't exist)! __________________ LVoe Nay for eBay..... hooray for bonanzle!

Jun 15th, 2008, 07:24 AM	#2
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Depends on the date. If he's obnoxious he won't get a kiss. If he's so-so, he may never get a kiss. If he's HOT, he WILL get a kisssssssssssss!!!!! I remember some guy I dated for a while - he stole a kiss from me... he forced a kiss on me I was too weak to resist. Immediately afterwards I slapped him tight across his face. I didn't even like him enough to want to kiss him! __________________

Jun 15th, 2008, 09:17 AM	#4
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	when i was younger, i would say most likely yes if the date went well. but now, i would say HELL NO!! im sure some of you all remember my crazy story about how my three friends all caught oral herpies and vaginal herpies from ONE ANOTHER by sharing all sorts of stuff (and people). i tried to google search that post i made in someone's thread, but it pulls up over 1000 things soooo.. i guess ill have to wait for the search to come back on.. oh search.. how i miss you.. __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Jun 15th, 2008, 10:40 AM	#8
guancia gimme more! Location: Ontario, Canada	Now that I think about it, I don't think I really kiss on the first date either. If the chemistry was there, and the guy kinda leaned it, I think I would go for it. But I was also fairly naive in the past, and don't think I could figure out when a guy wanted to kiss me. On my first date with my DF, we never kissed. We talked alot, the chemistry was there, we even text messaged each other when he got home and told each other what a great time we had. But we hugged at the end. I say if you don't want to kiss, open your arms for a hug, turn your head to the other side so they can't sneak in that kiss. If they try, just tell them flat out, I don't kiss on the first date. If they don't get a clue by the wide open arm gesture and force themselves in for a kiss, I would say that the guy is too agressive, and probably not for you. Being a virgin should not be embarassing to admit. You should pride yourself on that! Everytime someone says they're a virgin, I say, "Good for you!" Wait for someone you love, and loves you back. It will make it all the more special. __________________ I gots loads of time to plan a wedding! Bring on the purses!

Jun 15th, 2008, 11:42 AM	#9
artich0ke Member Location: down the Cape	Good luck finding a decent guy in Boston! The only nice ones I've met have come from the suburbs... ever since I actually moved into the city pretty much every guy I have encountered has been a total d-bag! (I'm not really looking that hard, I've got a wonderful boyfriend that I've known forever, it just seems that every time I'm approached by a guy when I'm out alone he's just... not my type.) I also do admire you for still being a virgin... Sometimes I kind of wish I had waited. I didn't mind losing my virginity, it's who I lost it to that really bothers me. I say wait until you find someone who cares enough about you to wait for both a kiss and a dance between the sheets! __________________ artich0ke

Jun 15th, 2008, 08:14 AM	#3
elizat Member	It depends for me too. I try to not kiss until at least 2-3 dates for some reason and I also prefer to pay for myself at the start. Plus, so many guys act like they expect you to kiss them, even if it went poorly. That really puts me off.

Jun 15th, 2008, 09:31 AM	#5
Sunshine Location: Key West, Florida	Dear god...I slept with my husband the first night we went out...we moved in together a month later and have been married 5 years now. I guess I did kiss on the first date and then some. LOL

Jun 15th, 2008, 11:52 AM	#11
MissyBaby Member Location: Kentucky	IDK about your predicament but I do know about waiting for Mr. Right. Oh Lord do I ever know about that. Yeesh. When he comes along...you'll know. BF (I guess I can start calling him SO, we're talking the walk ya'll) and I started dating in February. it's only been 6 months, but when you KNOW you KNOW. And both of us wanted a kiss on the first date. But we didn't do it cause it was a blind date and a double date. So he kissed me on our second date. Haha. I guess one way to do it would be to be playful about it....say "Uh uh. You want to kiss me, go out with me again." Or however you feel to do it. P.S. Your admission....totally feel ya! As am I. BF and I made a pact.....not until we're married.... __________________ *Missy* Do you have a pair of High Heels in that bag? No. Not even a small pair of pumps? No. Arh!

Jun 15th, 2008, 01:08 PM	#13
maddog Mmmkay	^That was my fav line in 40 y/o virgin. LOL! Come to think of it, I've only kissed on the first date when the guy specifically asked, and I really shouldn't have, I was just too surprised to react to it, so I gave him a quick peck and ran off. My bf and I didn't kiss until maybe 4 dates in, but he went straight for a real kiss... I dunno what he was thinking. He always hugged me after each date. I think if the guy starts in, you can turn and give him a quick peck on the cheeks or a quick hug? Aside from the guy that asked outright, I don't think I've had this problem before. Waiting for the right person is a personal choice that you should be proud of. I think it's more impressive to hear someone makes a decision for themselves and sticks to it regardless of pressure from others.

Jun 15th, 2008, 01:21 PM	#14
Lululovebags Member Location: Earth	i would only kiss a guy on first dates if he is hot, (shallow, i know) but it really depends on the situation..once u feel it, you will know whether you need to or not..don't worry about being conservative or anything, i'm sure the right guy will be coming along for you! just wait and see...and kudos for still being a virgin...i'm proud of ya! __________________ "keep your head up high. there are ppl that would kill to see you fall".

Jun 15th, 2008, 01:23 PM	#15
chessmont Member Location: CA, USA	Well, my college years were the early to mid-seventies and my early career years were the late 70's early 80's. Pretty much, if I didn't feel attracted enough to sleep with the guy, I did not date him. So yes, I did more than kiss on first dates. Sometimes they were the first and last date, oh well. The mid seventies were the waning years of the Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll culture, LOL.