[cosmogrl5]

Originally Posted by mjlover1977

hey juneping - you mean, ultimatum? i couldnt do that to him ... i feel like it has to happen in his own time otherwise ill always think 'its cause i forced him'. the reality is, i sure if i cried and asked and carried on he would marry me, but thats not what i want either. btw - LOVE your 'paws' ... kitty??

An ultimatum is the surest way to get dumped or to end up with a potentially bitter hubby down the road. My friend literally told her bf to "sh*t or get off the pot". He got off the pot. I've seen men who have gone through with it and feel as though they were forced into the marriage. If you truly love him, be patient. Wouldn't you rather wait for the right man to ask you than to just marry anyone for the sake of being married?

[stellamaried]

Originally Posted by mjlover1977

hi gals - just an update ... im glad i went with my gut.

last night we had a chat ... a talk ... well, he talked a lot and i replied and smiled a lot thinking 'wow, really? wow!'
so ... before we have a baby he wants us to go on a trip ... like a 3 month trip, not a holiday. and then we have the baby! next year. we are going to go to india (my parents are actually indian but i dont have much of a connection to that place ... its always been something i want but cant get, anyway, thats another story)
so - he really wants this and it sounds perfect to me. and here's the best bit ... when i was saying it might be hard to get work to agree to it (having 3 months off) he said it might be easier if you say its our honeymoon ... which of course led to the 'so, are we gonna get married next year?' and he started talking about when we do it and where (i dont want to spend much so we are thinking a beautiful house on the harbour where its stunning but casual). and then we do the india trip ... i think i'll just go off the pill when we leave and let nature take its course.

this puts the 'house' on hold, we will prob just stay in this apartment (which we will own by end of next year ... im saying we but its actually he ... hee hee).

when i said ' so, i do want a ring to make this official' he told me to just be patient ... with a smile. and today things are different ... he is super affectionate and he's actually coming home from having drinks with his mates to go to dinner with me. its feeling like it might really happen!

im just going to leave it now. we will start planning india and see what else comes.
he actually said these words 'i want what you want, i want to marry you and have kids with you' ... im floating!

thanks for listening gals ... i appreciate it.

ps -im not getting too carried away till i get that ring, im not stupid, i dont want to be that girl. but its okay to smile, right?

I just wanted to congratulate you. He sounds like a great guy and you sound so happy.

[mjlover1977]

thanks gals!!
sternchen - im not 'not asking' just because of tradition .... i want him to ask because i want it to be his choice ... but thanks for your post.