[huong]

About 3 weeks ago, a guy I used to date "Jeff" and I decided we wanted to go to Spain for a week. We knew right away we would be spending an arm and leg, but this was something we both really wanted to do. Since vacations are better when more people are around, we asked all our friends if they wanted to go. Everyone said no, so after 2 weeks, we went ahead and booked our tickets and hotel (a single twin bed).

Three days ago, I told my best friend "Melissa" that Jeff and I had booked our flight/hotel. She mentioned she was jealous, etc. We had originally invited her, but she declined because it would be too expensive. Today I get an email from her saying she wanted to go after all and is already looking at flights.

I feel really annoyed. If she goes,
1. We have to share one twin bed while Jeff sleeps on the ground. The hotel is crappy and does not have any couches, but it is centrally located. If she had told me before, I would have booked a double bed. Now it is too late since I used expedia and it is already paid for.
2. Since her flight is on a different day, we would have to meet her somewhere in Spain. None of us will have working cell phones and there is no way of knowing if her plane lands on time. I don't plan on waiting for her at the hotel since I want to see as much of Spain as I can.
3. Melissa can be very judgemental and constantly uses the restroom, which slightly annoys me. I've gone on road trips with her and can't stand her for more than 3 days.
4. Melissa will probably complain about money and not want to spend any while we are out and about. I've already given her a short list of everything we plan on doing so she already has an idea of how much we plan to spend.
5. I was hoping to rekindle the romance between Jeff and I, but with her along, it will be very hard to do so.

Should I go ahead and tell Melissa she is not welcome? And if so, how do I do it? Or am I just being petty and I should let her come along? She's been a friend for 9 years and I don't want to cut her out of my life.

[nooch]

Tell her you booked it already and that she's more than welcome to come the next time you invite her somewhere. Or pretend that since no one wanted to go, it's gonna be a romantic getaway. Maybe I'm a big jerk, but I don't think you should disrupt your whole vacation when she had two weeks to decide if she wanted to go or not.

[VPT]

Sorry I have different views from you I can't answer this, because I put priorities where they are at, family and close friends come first, even if it means my bf has to take the floor. If she has already paid for her flight tickets, there's nothing you can do except get a room upgrade or change the hotel to accommodate all.

[nauticalstar]

if I were in this situation, I would probably start out by telling her that your room has only a twin bed. I would say something like "since its only a twin you'll need to get your own room. We are in hotel X." I'd apologize, but I'd never expect someone to have to sleep on the floor because a friend suddenly changed her mind. Tell her that you would have booked a different size room had you known she was coming, but its too late to change. Seems like if she is complaining about money, she won't want to get her own room and won't come. But you won't have to outright ask her not to go.

[huong]

Originally Posted by VPT

Sorry I have different views from you I can't answer this, because I put priorities where they are at, family and close friends come first, even if it means my bf has to take the floor. If she has already paid for her flight tickets, there's nothing you can do except get a room upgrade or change the hotel to accommodate all.

The problem is I can't change the room or upgrade it. I booked on expedia and it has already been paid for. What really annoys me is that I booked the hotels yesterday and she changed her mind today. Jeff will most likely be sleeping on the floor as he is too much of a gentleman to let a lady do so.

[Vegas Long Legs]

Originally Posted by huong

5. I was hoping to rekindle the romance between Jeff and I, but with her along, it will be very hard to do so.

Maybe I'm alone here but what if he's not the slightest bit interested?
If I had agree to go on a vacation with a friend who I used to date, & he surprised me with one single bed for both of us, I'd be pi$$ed!
Have you thought of how you'll feel if he uses you just for sex while on vacation & doesn't want to rekindle the romance?

[VPT]

Originally Posted by huong

The problem is I can't change the room or upgrade it. I booked on expedia and it has already been paid for. What really annoys me is that I booked the hotels yesterday and she changed her mind today. Jeff will most likely be sleeping on the floor as he is too much of a gentleman to let a lady do so.

I guess then tell her if she were to reply way back when, you would definitely have accommodated her but sorry the deadline has lapsed, now's too late to make amends. She's more than welcome to tag along, only that she has to find her own accommodation and separate from your room. Don't offer her explanation, I think she can figure that one out. Also be prepared that she might drop your friendship if she's the sulky type.

[huong]

Originally Posted by Vegas Long Legs

Maybe I'm alone here but what if he's not the slightest bit interested?
If I had agree to go on a vacation with a friend who I used to date, & he surprised me with one single bed for both of us, I'd be pi$$ed!
Have you thought of how you'll feel if he uses you just for sex while on vacation & doesn't want to rekindle the romance?

I asked him ahead of time if he wanted to get one twin bed or two twin beds. He told me to go with the cheaper option, so I went ahead and booked one bed. He is well aware that we would be sharing a bed.

[HauteMama]

Any reasonable friend would understand that the trip is booked. She can no longer share your trip. She could get her own flight and her own hotel and try to meet you, but in that case she would just be booking a parallel trip. I would tell her that the arrangements are made and that you cannot change them. Like a pp said, she is welcome to come on a future trip, but it is too late for this one.

[amber11]

i would let her kno she'd have to book a seperate room, since its not really fair to put jeff on the floor after he paid for it too- its her fault for speaking up late but if she wants to book another room and figure out a meeting place and everything it would be a little awkward to uninvite her

[illinirdhd]

Just tell her the hotel is paid for and non-refundable, and can't be changed. Suggest that she find a friend so she will have someone to share a room with her, and then there will be 4 of you instead of 3. IMO, it's never fun to travel in 3s anyway.

[Virgo]

Originally Posted by nooch

Tell her you booked it already and that she's more than welcome to come the next time you invite her somewhere.

I agree plus you may want to let her know you are interested in getting things started romantically with him. No one wants to be a third wheel so that should deter her.

Can you talk to him and get him to take the blame? Like he doesn't wanna sleep on the floor, wait around, be the only guy, etc.

[elle tee]

Originally Posted by illinirdhd

Just tell her the hotel is paid for and non-refundable, and can't be changed. Suggest that she find a friend so she will have someone to share a room with her, and then there will be 4 of you instead of 3. IMO, it's never fun to travel in 3s anyway.

Good advice! Explain to her that you've already made your arrangements and they can't be changed, but she's welcome to make her own arrangements for hotel, flight, etc. and let her know where you're staying/going so she can if she wants.

[lovinalotofbags]

No one should take the blame. Jeff should not sleep on the floor. Why did you ask her anyway, you can't stand to be around for more than 3 days. She should get her own room or have another friend come with her or don't come at all. You are going on vacation. If she is going to be a downer, she can stay her pain in the ass at home. Speak up. Tell her you will not be waiting around for when she arrives at the airport. She waited too long and this is very intrusive of her. You do not have to tell her about your wanting to rekindle with Jeff. It is known of her business. 3 people in a single bed room, I don't think so.

[huong]

Originally Posted by lovinalotofbags

No one should take the blame. Jeff should not sleep on the floor. Why did you ask her anyway, you can't stand to be around for more than 3 days. She should get her own room or have another friend come with her or don't come at all. You are going on vacation. If she is going to be a downer, she can stay her pain in the ass at home. Speak up. Tell her you will not be waiting around for when she arrives at the airport. She waited too long and this is very intrusive of her. You do not have to tell her about your wanting to rekindle with Jeff. It is known of her business. 3 people in a single bed room, I don't think so.

I asked her because she is fun to be around. But she's one of those people where if i see her too much, I get sick of her. And just to clarify, she and Jeff are in grad school together, so he originally also wanted to include her.

I guess what is disappointing is that this trip originally started out as a friends trip. Then since no one wanted to go, it was supposed to be a romance trip. But now it is suddenly turning back into a friends trip. I just got my hopes up but will have a good time regardless.