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sarasmith3269 · Oct 27th, 2009, 11:43 AM

My boyfriend is an actor. nothing big...some small local plays, radio and tv commercials, etc. he recently landed his biggest role to date; a small speaking role in a movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway that is filming this fall.

(im so proud of him)

In the mean time he has landed a role in a play and I am just wondering (i have never dated an actor or performer of any kind, and have yet to actually see him on stage) how many performances am i supposed to attend? all? some? one? the first one? the last one? I have no problem doing all or one, but i dont want to seem unsupportive by not doing enough, and i also dont want to seem like an over-eager g/f who wont leave him alone for a minute.

to add, weve been dating for over a year, we live together and are pretty open...id ask him, but i think hed just be too sweet to be dead honest with what he expects.

TIA!

plain jane doe · Oct 27th, 2009, 12:09 PM

I would think opening night and maybe closing night. But especially since you haven't seen him perform before, you should ask him when he would like you to go. If you make him nervous, he may not want you there in the beginning.

domlee · Oct 27th, 2009, 12:24 PM

Casting agents and other industry folk are less likely to attend a performance on a weekend and more likely to do so during the week.

With that being said...talk to him.

The idea is this. If you attend on nights where there is less of a crowd, you help fill up the space, making it appear more crowded/popular.

You can also ask him what nights he would like you to attend. Opening night may be a big night. Closing as well. But also ask him which nights he expects important casting directors, etc...will be there.

My basic suggestion would be to do whatever you feel comfortable doing. You certainly don't have to be there every night, but going at least on one night would certainly be appreciated.

amymaria · Oct 27th, 2009, 01:08 PM

I have no experience with this sort of thing but I agree with what domlee said above. Ask him which nights would be best for his career....not only based on being "supportive". You can also try to bring some friends on the quieter nights to gain more audience etc. I think those things will help him out most.

Also, congrats to him!

juneping · Oct 27th, 2009, 01:45 PM

OP,
congrats!! a part in a movie is quite a big deal...!!
i have a friend and her DH is also an actor....not sure if he's in any movie but i've seen him in law and order....a couple of times.
i agree with domlee, ask.
have fun!!

Jeneen · Oct 27th, 2009, 02:06 PM

Opening and closing night would be good - also accompany any family that may go see him. But, ASK him what he wants. Some performers don't like having loved ones in the crowd while others do.

Charles · Oct 27th, 2009, 07:42 PM

My gf is an actor (not so much any more), but Id' typically go to opening night or "friends and family" night, if there was one. If it was good, I'd go again and finally, hit the closing night, but usually towards the end, when the show was ending, then hang out back stage or wherever the after party was.

In other words, I think opening night at least. More if you really enjoy the show.

petitechouchou · Oct 28th, 2009, 02:56 AM

My best friend is an actress and she just landed her biggest role yet. (I am so proud of her) And I try to attend opening nights and show up here and there just to show support. I would ask your dbf and see what he thinks! Big congrats to him!!!

mrsklem14 · Oct 28th, 2009, 11:40 AM

Wow! Congrats on his role!!! That's awesome. I would be his number one supporter!! Go a few times!

Gimmethebag · Oct 29th, 2009, 12:21 AM

When I was in a play in college, my SO went to four performances. I still to this day joke about how my castmate's boyfriend showed up for EVERY performance for two weeks with a different bouquet each time.

sarasmith3269 · Oct 29th, 2009, 08:28 AM

^^^ joke in a, "wow what a crazy boyfriend" or in a busting his chops kinda way like, "you only went to 4 performance, where my friends bf so so sweet that he went to ALL AND brought flowers each time!" ?

chinahopes · Nov 1st, 2009, 08:57 PM

If you live with him, I think your communication should be open enough for you to ask him when you should attend. I think it's unrealistic for you to attend every show, but definitely opening night and the last show... Again, ask him, see what he says, and then go from there.

Oct 27th, 2009, 11:43 AM	#1
sarasmith3269 OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 687	advice on being supportive of actor bf... My boyfriend is an actor. nothing big...some small local plays, radio and tv commercials, etc. he recently landed his biggest role to date; a small speaking role in a movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway that is filming this fall. (im so proud of him) In the mean time he has landed a role in a play and I am just wondering (i have never dated an actor or performer of any kind, and have yet to actually see him on stage) how many performances am i supposed to attend? all? some? one? the first one? the last one? I have no problem doing all or one, but i dont want to seem unsupportive by not doing enough, and i also dont want to seem like an over-eager g/f who wont leave him alone for a minute. to add, weve been dating for over a year, we live together and are pretty open...id ask him, but i think hed just be too sweet to be dead honest with what he expects. TIA!
sarasmith3269 OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 687

Oct 27th, 2009, 12:09 PM	#2
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,570	I would think opening night and maybe closing night. But especially since you haven't seen him perform before, you should ask him when he would like you to go. If you make him nervous, he may not want you there in the beginning.
plain jane doe Member Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,570

Oct 27th, 2009, 01:08 PM	#4
amymaria I is Hello Kitty? Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,133	I have no experience with this sort of thing but I agree with what domlee said above. Ask him which nights would be best for his career....not only based on being "supportive". You can also try to bring some friends on the quieter nights to gain more audience etc. I think those things will help him out most. Also, congrats to him!
	__________________ Blog + Twitter www.kittypinkpaisley.com Sarcasm, Love to Hate and Hello Kitty http://twitter.com/amc_kpp

Oct 27th, 2009, 01:45 PM	#5
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,345	OP, congrats!! a part in a movie is quite a big deal...!! i have a friend and her DH is also an actor....not sure if he's in any movie but i've seen him in law and order....a couple of times. i agree with domlee, ask. have fun!!
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Oct 27th, 2009, 02:06 PM	#6
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,752	Opening and closing night would be good - also accompany any family that may go see him. But, ASK him what he wants. Some performers don't like having loved ones in the crowd while others do.
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

Oct 27th, 2009, 12:24 PM	#3
domlee Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 952	Casting agents and other industry folk are less likely to attend a performance on a weekend and more likely to do so during the week. With that being said...talk to him. The idea is this. If you attend on nights where there is less of a crowd, you help fill up the space, making it appear more crowded/popular. You can also ask him what nights he would like you to attend. Opening night may be a big night. Closing as well. But also ask him which nights he expects important casting directors, etc...will be there. My basic suggestion would be to do whatever you feel comfortable doing. You certainly don't have to be there every night, but going at least on one night would certainly be appreciated.

Oct 27th, 2009, 07:42 PM	#7
Charles Sucks at budgeting Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Fl Posts: 6,191	My gf is an actor (not so much any more), but Id' typically go to opening night or "friends and family" night, if there was one. If it was good, I'd go again and finally, hit the closing night, but usually towards the end, when the show was ending, then hang out back stage or wherever the after party was. In other words, I think opening night at least. More if you really enjoy the show.
	__________________

Oct 28th, 2009, 02:56 AM	#8
petitechouchou "H" is for Hamster Joined: Jun 2009 Location: sleeping in my skybox Posts: 1,283	My best friend is an actress and she just landed her biggest role yet. (I am so proud of her) And I try to attend opening nights and show up here and there just to show support. I would ask your dbf and see what he thinks! Big congrats to him!!!

Oct 28th, 2009, 11:40 AM	#9
mrsklem14 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,252	Wow! Congrats on his role!!! That's awesome. I would be his number one supporter!! Go a few times!
mrsklem14 Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,252	__________________ I will never forget you. Ever. Scruffina Rose<3 Let God's promises shine on your problems.

Oct 29th, 2009, 12:21 AM	#10
Gimmethebag Gimme Gimme Gimme Joined: Dec 2008 Location: STL-Nashville-Chicago Posts: 1,109	When I was in a play in college, my SO went to four performances. I still to this day joke about how my castmate's boyfriend showed up for EVERY performance for two weeks with a different bouquet each time.
	__________________ Add Bubbles To Taste Follow me.

Oct 29th, 2009, 08:28 AM	#11
sarasmith3269 OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 687	^^^ joke in a, "wow what a crazy boyfriend" or in a busting his chops kinda way like, "you only went to 4 performance, where my friends bf so so sweet that he went to ALL AND brought flowers each time!" ?
sarasmith3269 OP Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 687

Nov 1st, 2009, 08:57 PM	#12
chinahopes Luckiest. Joined: Oct 2008 Location: the Beach, SC Posts: 1,000	If you live with him, I think your communication should be open enough for you to ask him when you should attend. I think it's unrealistic for you to attend every show, but definitely opening night and the last show... Again, ask him, see what he says, and then go from there.

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