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Very Broken · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:04 AM

Hey girls its me again. I'm not here to whine about my ex. I have accepted it and moved on and I feel so much better! Thank you for all your support!

I recently met this girl online. I am very attracted to her, and she is showing alot of interest in me. We have been emailing and texting alot lately. I asked her out this Saturday night, She said Oh darn, it's my "girls night out". So I said "ok no problem, no hurry. Have fun!"
Question 1; How long should I wait to ask her out again?
Question 2; Would it be a good Idea to see if I could maybe join them for one drink this saturday? I'm thinking she may feel more comfortable meeting for the first time with her friends there with her... no? Probably not huh? Or hope she "drunk texts" me Saturday...
I dont want to seem desperate, but I really want to meet her!

I've been out of "the game" for some time now. Just not sure really how to go about this without seeming needy...

juneping · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:09 AM

it's always better to have a short meeting for the first time. ask her like a thursday night for a drink and if you guys hit it off...then you can do weekends.
you can ask her next mon or tue. just ask her if she's free thursday if not what time she's free to meet you.

PurseAddict79 · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:15 AM

^^ ITA. Ask her out for a drink or coffee on a weeknight. That way if you're not into her or she's not into you, you're not stuck together for hours on end.

aklein · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:22 AM

I agree with the above posters about a quick drink during the week. However, if for some reason she can't meet during the week, don't ask again. Let her offer another time if that doesn't work. And if she doesn't, move on.

fashion1sta · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:24 AM

Definately "no" on joining them for saturday drinks. This is not to sound mean, but if she wanted to invite you, she would have asked.

Also, I agree with the other ladies- ask her out for a simple coffee/lunch/drink during weekdays/nights. That way she can get to know you better and feel comfortable enough to go on a first date with you.

I would wait to see if she calls you back after Saturday night to reschedule.

Jahpson · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:24 AM

or you can't do a day date? meet at starbucks for coffee and just try and get to know each other.

domlee · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:32 AM

RE: question # 1. Ask for coffee or to reschedule for another time.
RE: question # 2. DO NOT join them unless she asks you to do so. It is "girls night out" PERIOD. I know you're anxious to meet her, but it is her time out w/ the girls. Do not "casually" show up at the same place as the girls.

Take your time...play it cool. You're just getting back into the swing of dating. Don't be desperate. Even if you are desperate, pretend not to be!

juneping · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:42 AM

another way to help the situation is to keep chatting to other ladies online...plan to juggle between 2-3 ladies. so your week will seem busier and you won't come off desperate.
most ppl go online to date multiple ppl....it's that kind of scenario that you cannot put all your eggs in one basket.

krisluvspurses · Sep 10th, 2009, 11:54 AM

I agree with the posters who said maybe ask her for coffee during the week. A little more casual, and a lot less nerve racking. Me personally, I wouln't want to involve alcohol on the first date.

And more importantly, congrats on finally ending things with your ex!!!!

Very Broken · Sep 10th, 2009, 12:58 PM

You all make perfect sense. I knew asking to join them was a dumb idea even as I was typing the question... And ok, I will not try to appear as "desperate", even though I am.. Well, More anxious than desperate... lol. Thanks Ladies!

Jeneen · Sep 10th, 2009, 01:01 PM

Call her Tuesday for a date (maybe lunch for the upcoming Saturday, or coffee, or drinks?) - don't join her this weekend. And offer to meet her at a public place. Good luck my dear!

Very Broken · Sep 10th, 2009, 01:04 PM

Wait a sec. So don't even contact her til next Tuesday??? um ok, gulp

sophiae · Sep 10th, 2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by PurseAddict79

^^ ITA. Ask her out for a drink or coffee on a weeknight. That way if you're not into her or she's not into you, you're not stuck together for hours on end.

LOL true

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 10th, 2009, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by fashion1sta

Definately "no" on joining them for saturday drinks. This is not to sound mean, but if she wanted to invite you, she would have asked.

Also, I agree with the other ladies- ask her out for a simple coffee/lunch/drink during weekdays/nights. That way she can get to know you better and feel comfortable enough to go on a first date with you.

I would wait to see if she calls you back after Saturday night to reschedule.

I agree! Good Luck OP nice to see a guy asking advice around here for a change.

~Fabulousity~ · Sep 10th, 2009, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Very Broken

Wait a sec. So don't even contact her til next Tuesday??? um ok, gulp

wait and see if she contacts you and if you don't hear from her by Tuesday contact her and just chat, bring it up during the chat really casually by saying something like "I really hope we can get together soon" see what her response is this kinda puts the ball in her court. If she says something like "I'd like that" Or "sure" then say how about we meet for lunch, coffee, ice cream on blah blah blah and go from there.

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:04 AM	#1
Very Broken OP Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: USA Posts: 114	A Question For the Single Ladies... Hey girls its me again. I'm not here to whine about my ex. I have accepted it and moved on and I feel so much better! Thank you for all your support! I recently met this girl online. I am very attracted to her, and she is showing alot of interest in me. We have been emailing and texting alot lately. I asked her out this Saturday night, She said Oh darn, it's my "girls night out". So I said "ok no problem, no hurry. Have fun!" Question 1; How long should I wait to ask her out again? Question 2; Would it be a good Idea to see if I could maybe join them for one drink this saturday? I'm thinking she may feel more comfortable meeting for the first time with her friends there with her... no? Probably not huh? Or hope she "drunk texts" me Saturday... I dont want to seem desperate, but I really want to meet her! I've been out of "the game" for some time now. Just not sure really how to go about this without seeming needy...

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:09 AM	#2
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	it's always better to have a short meeting for the first time. ask her like a thursday night for a drink and if you guys hit it off...then you can do weekends. you can ask her next mon or tue. just ask her if she's free thursday if not what time she's free to meet you.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:24 AM	#6
Jahpson Member Joined: Aug 2007 Location: The Playground Posts: 22,432	or you can't do a day date? meet at starbucks for coffee and just try and get to know each other.
	__________________ Michael Joseph Jackson 1958-2009

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:42 AM	#8
juneping couch potato-ing Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NYC Posts: 4,355	another way to help the situation is to keep chatting to other ladies online...plan to juggle between 2-3 ladies. so your week will seem busier and you won't come off desperate. most ppl go online to date multiple ppl....it's that kind of scenario that you cannot put all your eggs in one basket.
	__________________ wish list: purse ban until the cc is paid off $10200 paid off...$3300 to go .....oh..i can't wait...

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:54 AM	#9
krisluvspurses Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,411	I agree with the posters who said maybe ask her for coffee during the week. A little more casual, and a lot less nerve racking. Me personally, I wouln't want to involve alcohol on the first date. And more importantly, congrats on finally ending things with your ex!!!!
krisluvspurses Member Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,411

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:15 AM	#3
PurseAddict79 PerpetuallyPenniless Joined: Sep 2008 Location: The Mall Posts: 1,236	^^ ITA. Ask her out for a drink or coffee on a weeknight. That way if you're not into her or she's not into you, you're not stuck together for hours on end.

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:22 AM	#4
aklein Member Joined: Dec 2007 Location: New Orleans Posts: 3,478	I agree with the above posters about a quick drink during the week. However, if for some reason she can't meet during the week, don't ask again. Let her offer another time if that doesn't work. And if she doesn't, move on.

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:24 AM	#5
fashion1sta Member Joined: Nov 2007 Location: CA Posts: 1,413	Definately "no" on joining them for saturday drinks. This is not to sound mean, but if she wanted to invite you, she would have asked. Also, I agree with the other ladies- ask her out for a simple coffee/lunch/drink during weekdays/nights. That way she can get to know you better and feel comfortable enough to go on a first date with you. I would wait to see if she calls you back after Saturday night to reschedule.

Sep 10th, 2009, 11:32 AM	#7
domlee Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 957	RE: question # 1. Ask for coffee or to reschedule for another time. RE: question # 2. DO NOT join them unless she asks you to do so. It is "girls night out" PERIOD. I know you're anxious to meet her, but it is her time out w/ the girls. Do not "casually" show up at the same place as the girls. Take your time...play it cool. You're just getting back into the swing of dating. Don't be desperate. Even if you are desperate, pretend not to be!

Sep 10th, 2009, 12:58 PM	#10
Very Broken OP Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: USA Posts: 114	You all make perfect sense. I knew asking to join them was a dumb idea even as I was typing the question... And ok, I will not try to appear as "desperate", even though I am.. Well, More anxious than desperate... lol. Thanks Ladies!

Sep 10th, 2009, 01:01 PM	#11
Jeneen Member Joined: Feb 2009 Location: up in the gym workin on my fitness Posts: 2,761	Call her Tuesday for a date (maybe lunch for the upcoming Saturday, or coffee, or drinks?) - don't join her this weekend. And offer to meet her at a public place. Good luck my dear!
	__________________ *Jeneen* Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you. - dbf's fortune cookie

Sep 10th, 2009, 01:04 PM	#12
Very Broken OP Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: USA Posts: 114	Wait a sec. So don't even contact her til next Tuesday??? um ok, gulp
	Last edited by Very Broken; Sep 10th, 2009 at 01:08 PM.

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