A coworker's kiss

[plumaplomb]

FYI It's general knowledge I'm involved in a pretty serious relationship. The other night, a bunch of coworkers went out for a night on the town. One of them, I realized, is a giant flirt or something. We were in a brightly lit room sharing a bowl of chips when he kind of lunged at me and kissed me on the cheek. I was so taken aback that I didn't respond. I basically pretended nothing happened. I figured maybe he meant it platonically? Is that possible?

Later, we all went dancing. He was very touchy feely, you know, the type of guy who knows how to dip a girl down to her forehead. We also spoke for a few moments about this girl he's been dating, and how much he likes her. The next morning, I found out he may have gone home with a different coworker!

Is this a normal occurrence with some guys? Should I just brush this off? By the way I did mention this to my boyfriend, so that isn't the issue here.

[PurseAddict79]

Was there alcohol involved???

Either way, I'd have a little talk with him and let him know his behavior was totally inappropriate and made you feel uncomfortable.

[ZippyWho]

Just brush it off. Stay a good distance from him next time. Guys will be guys.

[lolitakali]

Have a little "appropriate" talk time with this co-worker.

Tell him that his actions is un-warranted, protect yourself just in case something "legal" comes up.

If I am his boss, I'd give him my whole speel on "harassment" at the work place formal talk!

[fatefullotus]

I'd simply make a point of staying away from him as much as possible without being unfriendly.

[plumaplomb]

Yeah... the thing is, we're neighbors in the office, and we chat throughout the workday. I was totally sober, and he had had a few beers but it was still early in the night. I really like to talk to him, and don't want to introduce any weirdness into the office. I guess I will just brush it off and hope it doesn't become a routine every time we have happy hours. Just wanted to see what your take was.

[Kansashalo]

Since it sounds like he is a total flirt with everyone, I would brush it off. But if he did that again, I would definitely say something to him.

[Vendrazi]

Flirting is one thing. Contact (particularly of the unwanted/unasked-for kind) is another. And from a co-worker? Completely unacceptable.

Seriously, there are big issues involved with this for companies. Nip this in the bud now.

You need to have a talk with this co-worker -- keep it calm and friendly, and say, "Hey, I felt uncomfortable with some of your actions the other night. Please respect my boundaries." And then make sure you stick to this: you can be friendly, you can even flirt, but when it crosses toward the physical there are major problems, and YOU need to be responsible for your end.

If anything like this happens again (you're out somewhere, he kisses you, whatever), not only do you need to RIGHT THEN remind him about boundaries, you need to inform a supervisor. Without question.

If he's getting involved with multiple co-workers...stay far away.

[mymeimei02]

^ITA filrting with a co-worker is very dangerous. I would just stay far away from him he obivously isn't repecting you by kissing you even though he knows you're in a serious relationship.

[rainrowan]

He sounds immature, doesn't know the boundaries, even tho he has a girlfriend. Poor gf either puts up with it or is endlessly hurt by his zestiness with others. Is he just as gregarious with male coworkers?

[shy*violet]

Originally Posted by vendrazi

flirting is one thing. Contact (particularly of the unwanted/unasked-for kind) is another. And from a co-worker? Completely unacceptable. Seriously, there are big issues involved with this for companies. Nip this in the bud now. You need to have a talk with this co-worker -- keep it calm and friendly, and say, "hey, i felt uncomfortable with some of your actions the other night. Please respect my boundaries." and then make sure you stick to this: You can be friendly, you can even flirt, but when it crosses toward the physical there are major problems, and you need to be responsible for your end. If anything like this happens again (you're out somewhere, he kisses you, whatever), not only do you need to right then remind him about boundaries, you need to inform a supervisor. Without question. If he's getting involved with multiple co-workers...stay far away.

agreed 100%.

[bagnshoofetish]

I'm the kind of person who would have just said right then and there, "what was THAT for?" after an explanation, good or bad, I would have said, "okay but with all due respect, keep your lips to yourself dude. don't make me hit you with a rolled up newspaper."