;(

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 03:08 AM

This is soooooo damn long. Thanks if you take the time to read this.

So I work at a 5-star restaurant where we're only open in the evening for dinner. I come in during the day to do all the party planning for events and paper work, filing, computer data entry, etc. (My title is a Hospitality Specialist) When we open I help for all parties and conferences, and also hosting positions. This week a host is gone, so I picked up her shifts in the evening. We'll our place is ran by two owners. Owner A and Owner B. I've asked Owner A before (I see him more often, he's there everyday unlike Owner B who only comes in twice a week.) if we have the right to refuse service to people. He said, "Of course." And I told him I know my ex boyfriend's GF lives near by, and if he happens to come in I did not want him to eat there. He was an abusive violent punk who threatened to kill me and set my house on fire. Owner A then said, "Of course, he'll never set foot in here!" Owner A is very understanding and always wants his employees to be happy. Owner B is not much of a people person, when he's here he likes to stay in the office or kitchen. Very rarely is he on the actual floor. Whenever I work with him, I almost always have to stay later than my hours say. Anywayyyyys...

Today I had a reservation at 8:00. They move it to 8:30, and then call for 9:00, then again for 9:20. However we do not have 20 minute increments, so I just put it under 9:30 without saying anything just because if they arrived early, I'd just seat them. At 9:40, it's 20 minutes past the time they said they'd arrive I call. They say they are on their way. At 9:50 they call and say they are lost. (We close at 10!!) DF is there waiting for me to get off so we could eat there together. We already order our food, and they show up at 9:57. The girl looks familiar, and so does the two guys with her, and wait.. Who's that girl lurking in the back?? OMG, it's the two girls I used to work with. We'll name them, Girl X and Girl Y.

Well the two girls are dating brothers. And Girl X has always been nice. She's kind of a keep it to herself type of person. However, Girl Y is a total b*tch. At our old job, I got promoted to Assistant Manager and Girl Y was completely jealous. We used to be friends, and used to talk about girly stuff and our BF's. (DF was just BF back then) She would always say, "OMG youre so lucky Rey got you that." or "Youre so lucky you two went there." Etc. She was always comparing our relationships with our BFs. I thought she was just joking about her being jealous, but it's apprent now that she was actually saying the truth. I remember one time she had the nerve to tell me the diamond ring DF (back then he was BF) and the Coach bag he had just boughten me was ugly and too small. (OMG I was in high school still at it was a beautiful .56 colorless princess!!) I found out she was jealous I had gotten a raise and was now her manager, she sh*t talked about me sooo much and had the nerve to leave me a dirty message on my phone when I had called her to pass on a message from the manager about something that she had done wrong. I called her back and told her what she did was out of line and that I did not appreciate it and that the manager her what she had left on my phone. She tried to deny the fact that she was talking sh*t about me, but everyone including my manager told me that she was talking crap about me. With all the staff telling her in her face that she did come and b*tch to them, she then go all busted. She then tried to Myspace me and left me the dirtiest message ever. She told me that I was an ugly bitch, and that she hoped I'd burn in hell and that my Mother died. (WTH, she never even met my Mother. Who might I tell you is the sweetest saint ever!!) She then says that DF doesn't deserve a nasty b*tch like me. That he should leave me and cheat on me with someone else so I could feel pain. That I'm no good and that she hopes nothing but bad negative things happen to me. That I die from some sickness, blah blah. That when I see her I better watch my back because she was gonna kill me. Well... She blocked me on Myspace and changed her number. So when I one day saw her on AIM I wrote her back telling her she was a backstabbing b*tch. I told her that she was hitting below the belt, if she was mad at me for getting ahead of her then fine, be mad at me. But how dare she attack my Mother whom I love more than life itself. I quoted her when she said I better watch my back, I told her to STFU because when I see her I'd run her ass over with my car for ever saying those mean things to my Mother.

(to be continued below)

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 03:08 AM

So I sit them down and seriously use all my might to be professional. They for some reason did not sit when I put the menus down, I guess it's because Girl Y did not want me to see her face. Which was smart because I was thinking if she would have sat in front of me and I had to explain the menu to her then I would take a fork and stab it in her throat. (Yes, I know. I'm really not that crazy. But shoot, I was pissed as hell at this moment) I turn to them and tell them to have a seat and enjoy their meal. (Girl Y still hasnt looked at me) I walk to down the office, and I ask Owner B if we could refused service, he said no. I even offered to pay for all of their meals like they got the most expensive items on the menu. Still a no. I walk out in tears, and all my coworkers are surrounding me asking me why we couldnt turn them down. No one wanted to serve them because it was sooo late already. In addition, they didn't want to serve rude people who would ever say such hurtful things. They were all hugging me in circle when Owner B steps out. He's see's me in tears and the response of everyone hugging me. He then tells people to leave and for me to go into the office. I tell him again what happened between the girl and me. And he then goes, he then starts to raise his voice and says "Who is she to you?? Why do you care what she says?? Do you seriously expect me to go up there after they've been sitting and tell them to please leave because one of my employee's doesn't like you and feels threated that you are here?? I'm a business man, I have a partner to think of." t's like OMG are you seriously asking me that?? Yes I want him to go up there and tell them to get the f*ck out!! I then look at him and tell him, "So, if someone threatens you, your wife, and your newborn son, you'd let them eat here??" He hesitated and closed his eyes. Breathed in heavily and said, "No." I then said, "I understand your position as a business man. If your scared to lose money here, I already stated I'd pay for their full meal. Even if they werent going to order the most expensive thing on the menu, I'll do it anyways. And if you're afraid of the word of mouth if we turn them down. Then I don't know what to say. I respect you, and your decision, so please respect mine when I tell you, I'm putting my two weeks notice in."

I then walk out the office, out the kitchen, to the dining room where I go to my desk and tell DF at the table, "Get up, we're not eating here." And he gets up and we leave all the food on the table. I'm crying my eyes out and we walk out. As I explain what happened, we decide to drive home. I get into my car and I call Owner A and say, "His Owner A, I'm sorry but I have to put my two weeks notice in." He was in shock, he had just seen me less than an hour ago. I explain what happens and he is in utter disbelief. I told him how Owner B says he wouldn't allow anyone to eat there if they had threatened his family, but he would allow someone who did that to mine. Why was it that his family was more superior over mine? Family is family, period. His family is not better than mine. We're all a team so his family I treat as my family, and I'd expect him to treat mine like that as well. I tell him that I've heard from everyone that management doesn't give a rats ass about their employees. They say that they do, but they dont. They squeeze all the help outta you that they can then they f*ck you over. And that's what I felt this was. A big slap in my face. After I give them hours and hours of overtime. I did volunteer work, I'm the hardest working girl there. I worked the position for 3 other girls when they all quit, I picked up their shifts for 3 months total until I couldnt take it anymore and told him I'd have to leave soon because it was putting a toll on me to not only be a Hospitality Specialist and a host for 3 other girls. I'm only one person, I am not a one man band. They know how valuable I am, and yes as easy as it would be to replace someone like me, they would never have the heart and drive to do what I do and go the extra mile. Owner A said he complete understood, but he didn't want me to leave. He said all he could say was sorry, he could make up no excuse for Owner B. He told me how much he appreciates me as well as all the other managers there. He knows I do so much for the team, I bring goodies all the time on holidays, I go above and beyond picking up shifts, and going all out for our clients big banquets. I was suppose to leave awhile ago because the pay wasn't worth all the extra responsibilities I was taking, and the hours were kicking my butt. So they game me an amazing offer I couldn't turn down as long as I gave one of my managers a verbal agreement of staying at least 6 months longer so they could hire more people. I agree'd however today was so hurtful. I felt so guilty putting my time in. But I couldn't stay with a place who seemed to de-value me and my feelings. I know I'm very emotional, but that's just me and I can't change that.

Owner A asks me to please just let him talk to Owner B. And he asked if I could please call him tomorrow. I said yes, and he asked me to promise. I did. I'm sure I'm over reacting to a lot of people and being a selfish immature baby, I don't want to be lectured please. I just really needed to vent. These are my feelings plain and simple there IMHO is no wrong or right way of feeling when someone threatens you. I just needed a shoulder to cry on, please do be careful with my feelings when responding, I've been crying for an hour. Thank you for letting me vent.

P.S.
Sorry for all the typos I'm sure I made. I wrote this with an eye full of tears.

SimplyMe · Jun 18th, 2008, 03:48 AM

Missy (if you don't mind me calling you that)..I just want to let you know that I've read the entire entry with exactly knowing how you feel. I know what you mean by going all out for the company's good and filling in all the shifts. My old boss used to say I'm a one person but equivalent to 5 people kind of employee and that's exactly how you are! My old boss was exactly like Owner B...selfish, uncompassionate, mean..you name it. I worked extra hours with very low pay but stuck around because he needed me. He then hired someone who he really liked and saw her as his daughter. I drive to work and I usually drop my co-workers off because I don't want them to take the bus. Well he saw me driving the new girl and he immediately called her after she got home and asked her to becareful of co-workers giving each other rides. My boyfriend picked me up that day so he drove us home. The girl told me he actually sent her links about co-workers plotting evil things to each other and asked her to watch out! I was SO pissed. How dare he suspect me and my SO of doing such things to anyone. So I stopped showing up...at least you give a 2 weeks notice! And I'm exactly like you...there are seriously some people that I can not stand even near them! Not to mention to service them.

Stay strong! If you feel like you're doing way too much for the company and you deserve better anyways..then find another job! I just feel that even if Owner A had worked things out...there'll still be a grudge between you and Owner B (since he is regardless the owner). But either way...good luck! Keep us updated!

VPT · Jun 18th, 2008, 03:49 AM

Oh you poor thing! I can imagine how hurt you are inside. But sadly these are the rules of life - that as far as possible you shouldn't burn bridges right from the start, even dealing with b*tches there are ways to prevent yourself from being the subject of endless backstabbings and life threatening situations ya know? Cos you'll never know when the day will come when they may be your biggest customer, or helper or goodness knows what!

Before I proceed, do you think it is possible for you to get some sort of restraining order on that woman, so in the event history repeats itself and she comes within like 2 ft of you, you got the legal right to evict her pronto? Do it for your ex's gf as well.

I'm not chiding you ok? I'll have to admit that lending my shoulder for someone to cry on is not one of my strongest points so forgive me if I make you feel worse, but I'll try my best not to

. Actually I think that woman was more in a position of danger than you. I mean your company was host, you could have scooped up scum from the exhaust or blended roaches and rat tails and served it into her souffle. But of course you're too nice to do that kind of thing but you get my point?

I don't know if there is some sort of plan B or protocol in place when abusive or unwanted individuals arrive, can you like get someone to substitute you for service? Some places like mortgage companies have them. Maybe moving forward, if you do have to work a little longer you can suggest this? Otherwise even at your new job there's no certainty that she won't show up again, kwim? Quitting the job is like escaping from reality, this isn't the way forward dear. It just shows your weakness and like she has one up over you, please don't let her have it.

To share with you something, I once worked in a large corporation and my manager was this very nasty evil voodoo witch. She treated me like diamonds in front of key customers and her superiors because I did some work for her that was way out of my job scope (like preparing management reports, income projections, etc), often sacrificing my weekends just to do that, but behind my back she did the most cruel of things. I was crying nearly everyday because I had only 1 trustworthy colleague-friend, the other 14 in the department were too afraid of her to take my side. That friend was also in my shoes if not worse off. Fast forward to 2 years later, I worked for a company which was like one of a kind in the industry back then. She also quit and joined another firm. The companies we worked for could benefit from each other and her company really needed our help badly. Needless to say karma's fangs bit her in the butt when she realized who she was about to deal with, and her reaction just before she took off, was priceless!

So yeah as much as you're crying, I'm sure she was feeling even worse, why then was she hiding from you? I'm sure the moment she steps outside she'll throw up convinced you could have poisoned her food!

pursewatch · Jun 18th, 2008, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oo0ehxtahcee0oo

P.S.
Sorry for all the typos I'm sure I made. I wrote this with an eye full of tears.

Awww, I am sorry to hear this. Keep your chin up and good luck with everything!

Junkenpo · Jun 18th, 2008, 04:36 AM

awww... ***HUGS*** You are the female equivalent of my DF. He's in middle management and often does other peoples' work, pulls extra shifts, and other thankless tasks that there's really no compensation for (he's salaried). It peeves me to no end.

It really sucks how business owners often just see the bottom line and not the employees who are working to bring in that bottom line!

I hope a good night's sleep makes you feel better.. maybe some paid time off...and hopefully Owner A can talk some sense into Owner B and to get you an apology for the way he talked to you. Even if he didn't want to kick out the girl, he should've allowed you to leave early so as not to interact with her.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Junkenpo

awww... ***HUGS*** You are the female equivalent of my DF. He's in middle management and often does other peoples' work, pulls extra shifts, and other thankless tasks that there's really no compensation for (he's salaried). It peeves me to no end.

It really sucks how business owners often just see the bottom line and not the employees who are working to bring in that bottom line!

I hope a good night's sleep makes you feel better.. maybe some paid time off...and hopefully Owner A can talk some sense into Owner B and to get you an apology for the way he talked to you. Even if he didn't want to kick out the girl, he should've allowed you to leave early so as not to interact with her.

we had no idea it was her coming in. i was actually working past my hours just so Owner B would have to work the door alone which he hates doing. He does not like to be with loads of people, everyone questions why he's in the restaurant business cause lord knows your always around people. It just bothered me not only was she there, and that he didnt want to ask her to leave, but that he stated that he would kick someone out for his family but not for me. its like WTH, you think youre better??

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SimplyMe

Missy (if you don't mind me calling you that)..I just want to let you know that I've read the entire entry with exactly knowing how you feel. I know what you mean by going all out for the company's good and filling in all the shifts. My old boss used to say I'm a one person but equivalent to 5 people kind of employee and that's exactly how you are! My old boss was exactly like Owner B...selfish, uncompassionate, mean..you name it. I worked extra hours with very low pay but stuck around because he needed me. He then hired someone who he really liked and saw her as his daughter. I drive to work and I usually drop my co-workers off because I don't want them to take the bus. Well he saw me driving the new girl and he immediately called her after she got home and asked her to becareful of co-workers giving each other rides. My boyfriend picked me up that day so he drove us home. The girl told me he actually sent her links about co-workers plotting evil things to each other and asked her to watch out! I was SO pissed. How dare he suspect me and my SO of doing such things to anyone. So I stopped showing up...at least you give a 2 weeks notice! And I'm exactly like you...there are seriously some people that I can not stand even near them! Not to mention to service them.

Stay strong! If you feel like you're doing way too much for the company and you deserve better anyways..then find another job! I just feel that even if Owner A had worked things out...there'll still be a grudge between you and Owner B (since he is regardless the owner). But either way...good luck! Keep us updated!

Luckily I only have to work with Owner B once a week!! And I have told Owner A and Owner B I put in my two weeks notice. If my company cannot support me and back me up, I cannot work for a company like that. And yes, I know many companies do not do such things for their employees but I cant help but feel this way because I know there are some places that do care for their employees very much. Arrghhh!! DF just got a new business so I cant wait to just do that full time. I mean I only work part-time now as I go to college. Once I'm done with school I'll be there at our business all day every day. Not having others treat me like a little piece of nothing.

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPT

Oh you poor thing! I can imagine how hurt you are inside. But sadly these are the rules of life - that as far as possible you shouldn't burn bridges right from the start, even dealing with b*tches there are ways to prevent yourself from being the subject of endless backstabbings and life threatening situations ya know? Cos you'll never know when the day will come when they may be your biggest customer, or helper or goodness knows what!

Before I proceed, do you think it is possible for you to get some sort of restraining order on that woman, so in the event history repeats itself and she comes within like 2 ft of you, you got the legal right to evict her pronto? Do it for your ex's gf as well.

I'm not chiding you ok? I'll have to admit that lending my shoulder for someone to cry on is not one of my strongest points so forgive me if I make you feel worse, but I'll try my best not to

. Actually I think that woman was more in a position of danger than you. I mean your company was host, you could have scooped up scum from the exhaust or blended roaches and rat tails and served it into her souffle. But of course you're too nice to do that kind of thing but you get my point?

I don't know if there is some sort of plan B or protocol in place when abusive or unwanted individuals arrive, can you like get someone to substitute you for service? Some places like mortgage companies have them. Maybe moving forward, if you do have to work a little longer you can suggest this? Otherwise even at your new job there's no certainty that she won't show up again, kwim? Quitting the job is like escaping from reality, this isn't the way forward dear. It just shows your weakness and like she has one up over you, please don't let her have it.

To share with you something, I once worked in a large corporation and my manager was this very nasty evil voodoo witch. She treated me like diamonds in front of key customers and her superiors because I did some work for her that was way out of my job scope (like preparing management reports, income projections, etc), often sacrificing my weekends just to do that, but behind my back she did the most cruel of things. I was crying nearly everyday because I had only 1 trustworthy colleague-friend, the other 14 in the department were too afraid of her to take my side. That friend was also in my shoes if not worse off. Fast forward to 2 years later, I worked for a company which was like one of a kind in the industry back then. She also quit and joined another firm. The companies we worked for could benefit from each other and her company really needed our help badly. Needless to say karma's fangs bit her in the butt when she realized who she was about to deal with, and her reaction just before she took off, was priceless!

So yeah as much as you're crying, I'm sure she was feeling even worse, why then was she hiding from you? I'm sure the moment she steps outside she'll throw up convinced you could have poisoned her food!

ahahaa. as much as id want to just stick that fork through her neck, id be too scared to lose my job doing something to her food. haha.. but i mean, sticking a fork into that hack's neck would get me fired too. ahahahaa. and i wonder if she did think i poisoned her. i feel guilty for feeling like i hope she feels that i did poison her. all her guilty mind playing tricks on her. haha. she deserves at least that!!

gucci_advocate · Jun 18th, 2008, 06:07 AM

I have a very different viewpoint though...I treat work very professionally(maybe a tad too professionally :P).I would have just smiled,sucked it up and serve the bitch.

I didnt think it was professional to refuse business to customers either...I wouldnt dare to ask my boss that! Perhaps I dont like to mix my personal life and work :S

oo0ehxtahcee0oo · Jun 18th, 2008, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gucci_advocate

I have a very different viewpoint though...I treat work very professionally(maybe a tad too professionally :P).I would have just smiled,sucked it up and serve the bitch.

I didnt think it was professional to refuse business to customers either...I wouldnt dare to ask my boss that! Perhaps I dont like to mix my personal life and work :S

well, we have a right (esp. servers although i am not one) to refuse service to anyone who we feel threatened by or who mistreat us. and trust me, we have come across really rude people. people have cursed at servers and thrown things at them as well. we have crazy people call us stalking us. (i have no idea why) asking me (bc i answer most calls to direct them) people's schedules and hours. its scary. and i felt threatened by this girl who has threated me and my mother. i believe professional or not, it was in my best interest to get out outta there for my own safely. and for me, my safety comes first. but i can see your point of view, and it is appreciated.

cheburashka · Jun 18th, 2008, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gucci_advocate

I have a very different viewpoint though...I treat work very professionally(maybe a tad too professionally :P).I would have just smiled,sucked it up and serve the bitch.

I didnt think it was professional to refuse business to customers either...I wouldnt dare to ask my boss that! Perhaps I dont like to mix my personal life and work :S

I have a very different point of view too but I am not going to say anything though because I have seen a few of author's threads and she seems like a great and very sweet girl to me. I just wish her to get well, pass through this difficult period in her life with minimum stress and hopefully work things out with her boss.

nvmybag · Jun 18th, 2008, 06:56 AM

ok i read everything i am soo sorry for what you had to go thru.

you forgot to do one thing tho, you should have spit in that girls face when walking out. lol....

but you go girl, you did the right thing to do to quit at first. at least now they know your no girl to mess around with.

merika · Jun 18th, 2008, 08:32 AM

I'm sorry that you were hurt.

I really don't think that was the way to do it, though. If you wanted to refuse them service why did you sit them? Sitting people indicates a willingness to serve them, else they would be turned away at the door - unless they did something threatening after sitting. The proper thing would have been to say "Sorry, we are closing in a few minutes" and told them to leave/come back another day.

You were acting on your emotions, and the girl did not look like she was going to hurt you right then and there, she sounded like she didn't want you to see her. It sounds like you allowed your emotions to overcloud your professionalism. I would have sucked it up and served her with a smile - and maybe spat in her soup...

gillianna · Jun 18th, 2008, 08:37 AM

Even though you had issues in the past with this girl and you also left her messages to get back at hers it does not seem like she did anything to try to threaten you or even acknowledge you to get you mad. Why couldn't another server take care of them and you go and eat your dinner?
Only you can allow someone to have the power to upset you so much for something they said or wrote. The past is the past. Are you going to go through life with this hate and anger hanging over your head and get upset if you run in to a person you did you some wrong? We all have people who are crazy in our lives. It is our choice to ignore and let it go or feed in to the fire and keep it burning.
It sounds like you were doing the work of 3 people at your job and perhaps it is better for you to look for a job where you will have less stress and feel you are treated better. I am sure your one boss will suppport you but the other boss may hold things against you so you may have more problems there.
I wish you the best. I hope you are able to move forward with your life and don't give people from the past power to hurt your future.

Jun 18th, 2008, 03:08 AM	#1
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	;( This is soooooo damn long. Thanks if you take the time to read this. So I work at a 5-star restaurant where we're only open in the evening for dinner. I come in during the day to do all the party planning for events and paper work, filing, computer data entry, etc. (My title is a Hospitality Specialist) When we open I help for all parties and conferences, and also hosting positions. This week a host is gone, so I picked up her shifts in the evening. We'll our place is ran by two owners. Owner A and Owner B. I've asked Owner A before (I see him more often, he's there everyday unlike Owner B who only comes in twice a week.) if we have the right to refuse service to people. He said, "Of course." And I told him I know my ex boyfriend's GF lives near by, and if he happens to come in I did not want him to eat there. He was an abusive violent punk who threatened to kill me and set my house on fire. Owner A then said, "Of course, he'll never set foot in here!" Owner A is very understanding and always wants his employees to be happy. Owner B is not much of a people person, when he's here he likes to stay in the office or kitchen. Very rarely is he on the actual floor. Whenever I work with him, I almost always have to stay later than my hours say. Anywayyyyys... Today I had a reservation at 8:00. They move it to 8:30, and then call for 9:00, then again for 9:20. However we do not have 20 minute increments, so I just put it under 9:30 without saying anything just because if they arrived early, I'd just seat them. At 9:40, it's 20 minutes past the time they said they'd arrive I call. They say they are on their way. At 9:50 they call and say they are lost. (We close at 10!!) DF is there waiting for me to get off so we could eat there together. We already order our food, and they show up at 9:57. The girl looks familiar, and so does the two guys with her, and wait.. Who's that girl lurking in the back?? OMG, it's the two girls I used to work with. We'll name them, Girl X and Girl Y. Well the two girls are dating brothers. And Girl X has always been nice. She's kind of a keep it to herself type of person. However, Girl Y is a total btch. At our old job, I got promoted to Assistant Manager and Girl Y was completely jealous. We used to be friends, and used to talk about girly stuff and our BF's. (DF was just BF back then) She would always say, "OMG youre so lucky Rey got you that." or "Youre so lucky you two went there." Etc. She was always comparing our relationships with our BFs. I thought she was just joking about her being jealous, but it's apprent now that she was actually saying the truth. I remember one time she had the nerve to tell me the diamond ring DF (back then he was BF) and the Coach bag he had just boughten me was ugly and too small. (OMG I was in high school still at it was a beautiful .56 colorless princess!!) I found out she was jealous I had gotten a raise and was now her manager, she sht talked about me sooo much and had the nerve to leave me a dirty message on my phone when I had called her to pass on a message from the manager about something that she had done wrong. I called her back and told her what she did was out of line and that I did not appreciate it and that the manager her what she had left on my phone. She tried to deny the fact that she was talking sht about me, but everyone including my manager told me that she was talking crap about me. With all the staff telling her in her face that she did come and btch to them, she then go all busted. She then tried to Myspace me and left me the dirtiest message ever. She told me that I was an ugly bitch, and that she hoped I'd burn in hell and that my Mother died. (WTH, she never even met my Mother. Who might I tell you is the sweetest saint ever!!) She then says that DF doesn't deserve a nasty btch like me. That he should leave me and cheat on me with someone else so I could feel pain. That I'm no good and that she hopes nothing but bad negative things happen to me. That I die from some sickness, blah blah. That when I see her I better watch my back because she was gonna kill me. Well... She blocked me on Myspace and changed her number. So when I one day saw her on AIM I wrote her back telling her she was a backstabbing btch. I told her that she was hitting below the belt, if she was mad at me for getting ahead of her then fine, be mad at me. But how dare she attack my Mother whom I love more than life itself. I quoted her when she said I better watch my back, I told her to STFU because when I see her I'd run her ass over with my car for ever saying those mean things to my Mother. (to be continued below) __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Jun 18th, 2008, 03:08 AM	#2
oo0ehxtahcee0oo ☺Livin the good life Location: ♥In my DF's arms♥	So I sit them down and seriously use all my might to be professional. They for some reason did not sit when I put the menus down, I guess it's because Girl Y did not want me to see her face. Which was smart because I was thinking if she would have sat in front of me and I had to explain the menu to her then I would take a fork and stab it in her throat. (Yes, I know. I'm really not that crazy. But shoot, I was pissed as hell at this moment) I turn to them and tell them to have a seat and enjoy their meal. (Girl Y still hasnt looked at me) I walk to down the office, and I ask Owner B if we could refused service, he said no. I even offered to pay for all of their meals like they got the most expensive items on the menu. Still a no. I walk out in tears, and all my coworkers are surrounding me asking me why we couldnt turn them down. No one wanted to serve them because it was sooo late already. In addition, they didn't want to serve rude people who would ever say such hurtful things. They were all hugging me in circle when Owner B steps out. He's see's me in tears and the response of everyone hugging me. He then tells people to leave and for me to go into the office. I tell him again what happened between the girl and me. And he then goes, he then starts to raise his voice and says "Who is she to you?? Why do you care what she says?? Do you seriously expect me to go up there after they've been sitting and tell them to please leave because one of my employee's doesn't like you and feels threated that you are here?? I'm a business man, I have a partner to think of." t's like OMG are you seriously asking me that?? Yes I want him to go up there and tell them to get the fck out!! I then look at him and tell him, "So, if someone threatens you, your wife, and your newborn son, you'd let them eat here??" He hesitated and closed his eyes. Breathed in heavily and said, "No." I then said, "I understand your position as a business man. If your scared to lose money here, I already stated I'd pay for their full meal. Even if they werent going to order the most expensive thing on the menu, I'll do it anyways. And if you're afraid of the word of mouth if we turn them down. Then I don't know what to say. I respect you, and your decision, so please respect mine when I tell you, I'm putting my two weeks notice in." I then walk out the office, out the kitchen, to the dining room where I go to my desk and tell DF at the table, "Get up, we're not eating here." And he gets up and we leave all the food on the table. I'm crying my eyes out and we walk out. As I explain what happened, we decide to drive home. I get into my car and I call Owner A and say, "His Owner A, I'm sorry but I have to put my two weeks notice in." He was in shock, he had just seen me less than an hour ago. I explain what happens and he is in utter disbelief. I told him how Owner B says he wouldn't allow anyone to eat there if they had threatened his family, but he would allow someone who did that to mine. Why was it that his family was more superior over mine? Family is family, period. His family is not better than mine. We're all a team so his family I treat as my family, and I'd expect him to treat mine like that as well. I tell him that I've heard from everyone that management doesn't give a rats ass about their employees. They say that they do, but they dont. They squeeze all the help outta you that they can then they fck you over. And that's what I felt this was. A big slap in my face. After I give them hours and hours of overtime. I did volunteer work, I'm the hardest working girl there. I worked the position for 3 other girls when they all quit, I picked up their shifts for 3 months total until I couldnt take it anymore and told him I'd have to leave soon because it was putting a toll on me to not only be a Hospitality Specialist and a host for 3 other girls. I'm only one person, I am not a one man band. They know how valuable I am, and yes as easy as it would be to replace someone like me, they would never have the heart and drive to do what I do and go the extra mile. Owner A said he complete understood, but he didn't want me to leave. He said all he could say was sorry, he could make up no excuse for Owner B. He told me how much he appreciates me as well as all the other managers there. He knows I do so much for the team, I bring goodies all the time on holidays, I go above and beyond picking up shifts, and going all out for our clients big banquets. I was suppose to leave awhile ago because the pay wasn't worth all the extra responsibilities I was taking, and the hours were kicking my butt. So they game me an amazing offer I couldn't turn down as long as I gave one of my managers a verbal agreement of staying at least 6 months longer so they could hire more people. I agree'd however today was so hurtful. I felt so guilty putting my time in. But I couldn't stay with a place who seemed to de-value me and my feelings. I know I'm very emotional, but that's just me and I can't change that. Owner A asks me to please just let him talk to Owner B. And he asked if I could please call him tomorrow. I said yes, and he asked me to promise. I did. I'm sure I'm over reacting to a lot of people and being a selfish immature baby, I don't want to be lectured please. I just really needed to vent. These are my feelings plain and simple there IMHO is no wrong or right way of feeling when someone threatens you. I just needed a shoulder to cry on, please do be careful with my feelings when responding, I've been crying for an hour. Thank you for letting me vent. P.S. Sorry for all the typos I'm sure I made. I wrote this with an eye full of tears. __________________ [Click photo to read thread!] My blog site has great FREE goodies!! (updated 11/26) www,dearmissie.blogspot.com We did it!! New Crafts Subforum celebration here!!

Jun 18th, 2008, 03:49 AM	#4
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	Oh you poor thing! I can imagine how hurt you are inside. But sadly these are the rules of life - that as far as possible you shouldn't burn bridges right from the start, even dealing with btches there are ways to prevent yourself from being the subject of endless backstabbings and life threatening situations ya know? Cos you'll never know when the day will come when they may be your biggest customer, or helper or goodness knows what! Before I proceed, do you think it is possible for you to get some sort of restraining order on that woman, so in the event history repeats itself and she comes within like 2 ft of you, you got the legal right to evict her pronto? Do it for your ex's gf as well. I'm not chiding you ok? I'll have to admit that lending my shoulder for someone to cry on is not one of my strongest points so forgive me if I make you feel worse, but I'll try my best not to . Actually I think that woman was more in a position of danger than you. I mean your company was host, you could have scooped up scum from the exhaust or blended roaches and rat tails and served it into her souffle. But of course you're too nice to do that kind of thing but you get my point? I don't know if there is some sort of plan B or protocol in place when abusive or unwanted individuals arrive, can you like get someone to substitute you for service? Some places like mortgage companies have them. Maybe moving forward, if you do have to work a little longer you can suggest this? Otherwise even at your new job there's no certainty that she won't show up again, kwim? Quitting the job is like escaping from reality, this isn't the way forward dear. It just shows your weakness and like she has one up over you, please don't let her have it. To share with you something, I once worked in a large corporation and my manager was this very nasty evil voodoo witch. She treated me like diamonds in front of key customers and her superiors because I did some work for her that was way out of my job scope (like preparing management reports, income projections, etc), often sacrificing my weekends just to do that, but behind my back she did the most cruel of things. I was crying nearly everyday because I had only 1 trustworthy colleague-friend, the other 14 in the department were too afraid of her to take my side. That friend was also in my shoes if not worse off. Fast forward to 2 years later, I worked for a company which was like one of a kind in the industry back then. She also quit and joined another firm. The companies we worked for could benefit from each other and her company really needed our help badly. Needless to say karma's fangs bit her in the butt when she realized who she was about to deal with, and her reaction just before she took off, was priceless! So yeah as much as you're crying, I'm sure she was feeling even worse, why then was she hiding from you? I'm sure the moment she steps outside she'll throw up convinced you could have poisoned her food! __________________ Last edited by VPT; Jun 18th, 2008 at 03:53 AM.*

Jun 18th, 2008, 04:36 AM	#6
Junkenpo Boom, baby! Location: 2500 miles from any continental landmass	awww... *HUGS* You are the female equivalent of my DF. He's in middle management and often does other peoples' work, pulls extra shifts, and other thankless tasks that there's really no compensation for (he's salaried). It peeves me to no end. It really sucks how business owners often just see the bottom line and not the employees who are working to bring in that bottom line! I hope a good night's sleep makes you feel better.. maybe some paid time off...and hopefully Owner A can talk some sense into Owner B and to get you an apology for the way he talked to you. Even if he didn't want to kick out the girl, he should've allowed you to leave early so as not to interact with her. __________________ Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky] PONDERING: Damier Pochette Melville, mini pochette, Naviglio; Ivoire Epi Alma; Amarante cles or keyholder...

Jun 18th, 2008, 08:32 AM	#14
merika Just me Location: In front of a computer	I'm sorry that you were hurt. I really don't think that was the way to do it, though. If you wanted to refuse them service why did you sit them? Sitting people indicates a willingness to serve them, else they would be turned away at the door - unless they did something threatening after sitting. The proper thing would have been to say "Sorry, we are closing in a few minutes" and told them to leave/come back another day. You were acting on your emotions, and the girl did not look like she was going to hurt you right then and there, she sounded like she didn't want you to see her. It sounds like you allowed your emotions to overcloud your professionalism. I would have sucked it up and served her with a smile - and maybe spat in her soup... __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Jun 18th, 2008, 03:48 AM	#3
SimplyMe Racing With You. Location: Very foggy!	Missy (if you don't mind me calling you that)..I just want to let you know that I've read the entire entry with exactly knowing how you feel. I know what you mean by going all out for the company's good and filling in all the shifts. My old boss used to say I'm a one person but equivalent to 5 people kind of employee and that's exactly how you are! My old boss was exactly like Owner B...selfish, uncompassionate, mean..you name it. I worked extra hours with very low pay but stuck around because he needed me. He then hired someone who he really liked and saw her as his daughter. I drive to work and I usually drop my co-workers off because I don't want them to take the bus. Well he saw me driving the new girl and he immediately called her after she got home and asked her to becareful of co-workers giving each other rides. My boyfriend picked me up that day so he drove us home. The girl told me he actually sent her links about co-workers plotting evil things to each other and asked her to watch out! I was SO pissed. How dare he suspect me and my SO of doing such things to anyone. So I stopped showing up...at least you give a 2 weeks notice! And I'm exactly like you...there are seriously some people that I can not stand even near them! Not to mention to service them. Stay strong! If you feel like you're doing way too much for the company and you deserve better anyways..then find another job! I just feel that even if Owner A had worked things out...there'll still be a grudge between you and Owner B (since he is regardless the owner). But either way...good luck! Keep us updated!

Jun 18th, 2008, 06:07 AM	#10
gucci_advocate Member	I have a very different viewpoint though...I treat work very professionally(maybe a tad too professionally :P).I would have just smiled,sucked it up and serve the bitch. I didnt think it was professional to refuse business to customers either...I wouldnt dare to ask my boss that! Perhaps I dont like to mix my personal life and work :S

Jun 18th, 2008, 06:56 AM	#13
nvmybag Member	ok i read everything i am soo sorry for what you had to go thru. you forgot to do one thing tho, you should have spit in that girls face when walking out. lol.... but you go girl, you did the right thing to do to quit at first. at least now they know your no girl to mess around with.

Jun 18th, 2008, 08:37 AM	#15
gillianna Member	Even though you had issues in the past with this girl and you also left her messages to get back at hers it does not seem like she did anything to try to threaten you or even acknowledge you to get you mad. Why couldn't another server take care of them and you go and eat your dinner? Only you can allow someone to have the power to upset you so much for something they said or wrote. The past is the past. Are you going to go through life with this hate and anger hanging over your head and get upset if you run in to a person you did you some wrong? We all have people who are crazy in our lives. It is our choice to ignore and let it go or feed in to the fire and keep it burning. It sounds like you were doing the work of 3 people at your job and perhaps it is better for you to look for a job where you will have less stress and feel you are treated better. I am sure your one boss will suppport you but the other boss may hold things against you so you may have more problems there. I wish you the best. I hope you are able to move forward with your life and don't give people from the past power to hurt your future.