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vhdos · Aug 2nd, 2009, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by DlkinVegas

I'm guilty. I hate yelling-my father yelled all*the*time & unfortunately it stuck with me. I found this book rec. on BBC today, I'm going to pick up.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076...pf_rd_i=507846

Thanks for the recommendation on the book. It got great reviews. I'm going to buy that one too.

wimpy · Aug 2nd, 2009, 11:31 AM

I'm not a yeller...more of the silent rage type.

But I have yelled a couple times in the morning in the privacy of my house. My husband travels a lot for work, so I'm frequently on my own with my now 3.5-year-old twin boys. I also work full time, so mornings are hectic trying to get them up, dressed, fed, pottied and out the door with healthy lunches in hand by 7:50 a.m. without getting stains on my dry-clean-only clothes.

I don't do it very often, but if it's a day when I really need to be to work on time, I've been known to yell a short three syallable curse (GDI) to speed things up. I'm sure they'll repeat my swear words at preschool soon and I'll be mortified and shamed.

I have the book "How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk" and it's got some good communication tips.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-...9227071&sr=8-1

SOLIDGOLD2 · Aug 4th, 2009, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by vhdos

These comments are not even appropriate here IMO. This poster probably has no kids because anyone with kids would understand that a 17 month-old can certainly push buttons.

I can certinally post and express my thoughts.
like i said before it's sad if a parent has NO CONTROL with themsevles and has to yell at a baby. and when i say sad im putting it nicely.

As an ADULT you should understand there are other ways to speak to a young baby/child and yelling isn't going to help.

vhdos · Aug 4th, 2009, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by SOLIDGOLD2

I can certinally post and express my thoughts.
like i said before it's sad if a parent has NO CONTROL with themsevles and has to yell at a baby. and when i say sad im putting it nicely.

As an ADULT you should understand there are other ways to speak to a young baby/child and yelling isn't going to help.

Yes, you are absolutely welcome to post your thoughts wherever you like on the forum. I started this thread in an effort to hear others views and opinions, your included. What I had an issue with was the way in which you stated your opinions. You were making a judgement call about someone that you don't even know.

bagnshoofetish · Aug 4th, 2009, 09:48 PM

I don't have kids but have nieces and nephews who sure knew how to get auntie Shoo into a rage. I never liked raising my voice with any of them and commend anyone who puts the effort in not to do so. my mom yelled at me so much growing up my ears are still ringing....

bohohobo · Aug 5th, 2009, 04:02 AM

^ LOL shoo!

I think it boils down to you yelling or your kids yelling. I know of a couple who don't yell at their kids, they have 4 little ones like 1-2 years apart each. Heck they're little brats with no discipline spoiled to death. I calmly told the little girl to shush and she kicked me in the groin.

KC1984 · Aug 5th, 2009, 08:41 AM

Not really, I change the tone of my voice but not the volume, I hate to hear parents shouting at children. Not nice.

ilovepinkhearts · Aug 5th, 2009, 10:09 AM

i guess im just "sad"... i raise my voice at my children, because there are times that i swear they go from hearing perfectly to completely deaf. and i can ask them to do something 237 times nicely with my voice at an even tone, but let me put some authority behind it and it raise it an octave and they start hopin'.

so if me doing that makes me "sad" then i guess i need to walk around carrying a box of kleenex for all those "sad" tears that i will be crying when i am being walked all over by my 4 and 7 yr olds...

bagnshoofetish · Aug 5th, 2009, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by bohohobo

...I calmly told the little girl to shush and she kicked me in the groin.

can't wait to see what kind of adult she's going to become.

ilovepinkhearts · Aug 5th, 2009, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by bohohobo
...I calmly told the little girl to shush and she kicked me in the groin

YIKES!!

lanasyogamama · Aug 5th, 2009, 01:35 PM

I have definitely lost my temper once or twice, but I try not to yell, because then she doesn't learn to yell to get what she wants.

I think there are times when you have to yell to get them to listen - and avoid a dangerous situation - running into the street, hot stove, etc. Sometimes yelling is the only way snap them out of their thoughts in time.

nycbagaddict · Aug 5th, 2009, 06:15 PM

ilovepinkhearts--- im "SAD" too..

sometimes people like to judge without being in our position.

and thank you vhdos for your response.

at the end of the day, we are all trying to support each other in this thread. not make people feel bad about themselves after openly admitting faults in parenting.

annemerrick · Aug 5th, 2009, 06:48 PM

There are some amazing parents here!! I consider myself a very good Mom, and I yell at my kids. Not all of the time....but I certainly do sometimes....when they are not listening otherwise.
Talking in a quiet, firm voice doesn't always make my kids listen. Actually....I start out quietly the 1st, 2nd, 3rd time...then straight to the hollering!!!!

ilovepinkhearts · Aug 5th, 2009, 07:18 PM

^^ exactly!!

KristyDarling · Aug 5th, 2009, 07:20 PM

I confess to yelling.

It's more like a loud and firm bark rather than yelling furiously. My kids (ages 6 and 4 1/2) are squarely in the sibling fighting phase right now. They are constantly arguing, fighting, whining with each other and it drives me *insane*. At least once I day, I yell at them to stop. I know it's sending the wrong message, but this usually happens during a moment of tiredness and stress when I am least in control of my actions. LOL. Most of the time, I'm successful in heading off the urge to yell...instead I will send the kids to their rooms...but I can't exactly send them to their rooms 20 times a day (that's about how often they fight), so instead I will yell. They're already yelling at each other, so out of necessity I have to yell even louder just to be heard!

ETA: A lot of the time, I use the counting method to give them a warning before yelling. ("I'm gonna start counting. If I get to 3, I will be really mad and will have to YELL at you!") This works most of the time.

Aug 4th, 2009, 09:48 PM	#35
bagnshoofetish keep smiling.... Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 20,377	I don't have kids but have nieces and nephews who sure knew how to get auntie Shoo into a rage. I never liked raising my voice with any of them and commend anyone who puts the effort in not to do so. my mom yelled at me so much growing up my ears are still ringing....
	__________________

Aug 5th, 2009, 04:02 AM	#36
bohohobo tamale loco Joined: May 2009 Posts: 336	^ LOL shoo! I think it boils down to you yelling or your kids yelling. I know of a couple who don't yell at their kids, they have 4 little ones like 1-2 years apart each. Heck they're little brats with no discipline spoiled to death. I calmly told the little girl to shush and she kicked me in the groin.
bohohobo tamale loco Joined: May 2009 Posts: 336

Aug 5th, 2009, 08:41 AM	#37
KC1984 Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: In my own little World Posts: 967	Not really, I change the tone of my voice but not the volume, I hate to hear parents shouting at children. Not nice.
	__________________ *I know a girl, she puts the colour inside of my world XXX*

Aug 5th, 2009, 10:09 AM	#38
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,395	i guess im just "sad"... i raise my voice at my children, because there are times that i swear they go from hearing perfectly to completely deaf. and i can ask them to do something 237 times nicely with my voice at an even tone, but let me put some authority behind it and it raise it an octave and they start hopin'. so if me doing that makes me "sad" then i guess i need to walk around carrying a box of kleenex for all those "sad" tears that i will be crying when i am being walked all over by my 4 and 7 yr olds...
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Aug 5th, 2009, 01:07 PM	#40
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,395	Originally Posted by bohohobo ...I calmly told the little girl to shush and she kicked me in the groin YIKES!!
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Aug 2nd, 2009, 11:31 AM	#32
wimpy Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Washington Posts: 101	I'm not a yeller...more of the silent rage type. But I have yelled a couple times in the morning in the privacy of my house. My husband travels a lot for work, so I'm frequently on my own with my now 3.5-year-old twin boys. I also work full time, so mornings are hectic trying to get them up, dressed, fed, pottied and out the door with healthy lunches in hand by 7:50 a.m. without getting stains on my dry-clean-only clothes. I don't do it very often, but if it's a day when I really need to be to work on time, I've been known to yell a short three syallable curse (GDI) to speed things up. I'm sure they'll repeat my swear words at preschool soon and I'll be mortified and shamed. I have the book "How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk" and it's got some good communication tips. http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-...9227071&sr=8-1

Aug 5th, 2009, 01:35 PM	#41
lanasyogamama Member Joined: Oct 2007 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 1,547	I have definitely lost my temper once or twice, but I try not to yell, because then she doesn't learn to yell to get what she wants. I think there are times when you have to yell to get them to listen - and avoid a dangerous situation - running into the street, hot stove, etc. Sometimes yelling is the only way snap them out of their thoughts in time.
	__________________ I bespoke(d) it!: - Belen Echandia Hold Me Max in Orange with Purple lining

Aug 5th, 2009, 06:15 PM	#42
nycbagaddict Member Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 541	ilovepinkhearts--- im "SAD" too.. sometimes people like to judge without being in our position. and thank you vhdos for your response. at the end of the day, we are all trying to support each other in this thread. not make people feel bad about themselves after openly admitting faults in parenting.
nycbagaddict Member Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 541

Aug 5th, 2009, 06:48 PM	#43
annemerrick Member Joined: Mar 2006 Location: Desperately Seeking Deals Posts: 5,287	There are some amazing parents here!! I consider myself a very good Mom, and I yell at my kids. Not all of the time....but I certainly do sometimes....when they are not listening otherwise. Talking in a quiet, firm voice doesn't always make my kids listen. Actually....I start out quietly the 1st, 2nd, 3rd time...then straight to the hollering!!!!
	__________________ Visit my blog (if you so desire) at: http://desperatelyseekingdeals.blogs...&max-results=2

Aug 5th, 2009, 07:18 PM	#44
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,395	^^ exactly!!
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Aug 5th, 2009, 07:20 PM	#45
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,356	I confess to yelling. It's more like a loud and firm bark rather than yelling furiously. My kids (ages 6 and 4 1/2) are squarely in the sibling fighting phase right now. They are constantly arguing, fighting, whining with each other and it drives me insane. At least once I day, I yell at them to stop. I know it's sending the wrong message, but this usually happens during a moment of tiredness and stress when I am least in control of my actions. LOL. Most of the time, I'm successful in heading off the urge to yell...instead I will send the kids to their rooms...but I can't exactly send them to their rooms 20 times a day (that's about how often they fight), so instead I will yell. They're already yelling at each other, so out of necessity I have to yell even louder just to be heard! ETA: A lot of the time, I use the counting method to give them a warning before yelling. ("I'm gonna start counting. If I get to 3, I will be really mad and will have to YELL at you!") This works most of the time.
KristyDarling Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,356

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