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Would you be angry if your mom cut your child's hair without consulting you first?


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May 14, 2013, 12:49pm   #1
j
Thread Starter
Can never get enough
This is the second time she did it. I already told her I didn't like that she did that without asking first. Last time his bangs weren't even long. He cut them because they bothered her since she hates bangs herself. This time they were long but I told her would cut them when I find time. It's usually a 3-day ordeal as DS never cooperates lol. And since we take naps together, while he's asleep is not possible. So she cut them anyway. Not only does it look bad (think Dumb and Dumber), she did it again without asking me. It makes me angry when she does that. I feel like she's undermining me. She says she wants to help me out once a week when she takes him, but making me furious is not helping me at all. I angrily told her on Mother's Day (again) that its not up to her to decide when he gets a hair cut and definitely not up to her to do it. She already had her turn with her kids, this time is mine. But she didn't get it at all. In fact her attitude is always "I don't care." She said "I cut your son's hair and you can cut my daughter's hair." Hahaha funny. Seriously, what's next? Is she gonna decide which school he goes to? What he majors in? What sports he should play? ....... I already told her that if her plants and flowers get a makeover, it will be from me. I'm seriously thinking of going over to cut them all off.
May 14, 2013, 2:33pm   #2
~bastet's Avatar
Member
Yes, I'd be angry about this. It's a boundaries issue, you're your son's mom, not her. It's up to you if/when he gets his hair cut and she needs to respect that.
May 14, 2013, 4:05pm   #3
Staci_W's Avatar
Member
I'd be pissed. Talk about overstepping boundaries.
May 14, 2013, 5:30pm   #4
Lakritze's Avatar
Yes, I'd be angry. He's YOUR son and your mother should respect your wishes. It also has a lot to do with trust. If my mother did that, I would always wonder what else she might do without my consent.
May 14, 2013, 5:53pm   #5
l
Member
Of course you should be angry. From what I gather from your other posts, it seems like she just cannot understand the boundary issue. I know it is frustrating, but she's not going to change. You've had big talks with her in the past and nothing has changed. Do you think another big talk in a calm fashion might be helpful?
May 14, 2013, 6:34pm   #6
shoppinggalnyc's Avatar
Till I drop...
Yes -my MIL cut my DDs bangs and thought I wouldn't notice. And no, she not a hair stylist and should not have hacked away at my poor daughter's hair without permission. So yeah, it would bother me. Hopefully your mom won't do it again.
May 14, 2013, 9:47pm   #7
boxermom's Avatar
Member
I agree that she's out of line. Apparently she can't be trusted with her grandchild if you aren't around. Is she clueless or is this a passive-aggressive act on her part?
May 14, 2013, 9:56pm   #8
HauteMama's Avatar
Member
No, it was not okay for her to do that, but she has done it before. You know the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"? Well, she has already proven she cannot be trusted, so apparently leaving him alone with her isn't an option. I wouldn't leave a child with someone I couldn't trust to follow my directions.
May 14, 2013, 10:39pm   #9
Swanky Mama Of Three's Avatar
Yes, unequivocally yes. I'd be furious!!!!!!
May 14, 2013, 11:57pm   #10
j
Thread Starter
Can never get enough
Originally Posted by lv_forever
Of course you should be angry. From what I gather from your other posts, it seems like she just cannot understand the boundary issue. I know it is frustrating, but she's not going to change. You've had big talks with her in the past and nothing has changed. Do you think another big talk in a calm fashion might be helpful?
Thanks lv! I'm actually thinking about asking a couple of my aunts (her sisters) to help me talk to her. She never listens to me. Her ears have always been for aethestic purposes. Honestly I'm not sure if my aunts could even help but I definitely need others to back me up. She assumes me being irritated is because of my lack of sleep and me being preggie now. What she doesn't know is the majority of the time when I'm cranky around her is because of her.
May 15, 2013, 12:03am   #11
j
Thread Starter
Can never get enough
Originally Posted by boxermom
I agree that she's out of line. Apparently she can't be trusted with her grandchild if you aren't around. Is she clueless or is this a passive-aggressive act on her part?
I don't think she's passive aggressive. She definitely likes to control everything and has zero tolerance for anything that bothers her. Growing up, it was always her way or the highway. For example, I would get yelled at if I didn't do the dishes. If I didn't do them right, I would still get yelled at. Either way i would get yelled at, so I just only did them when I wanted to. She thinks she's always right and her way is always the best.
May 15, 2013, 12:04am   #12
j
Thread Starter
Can never get enough
Thanks everyone for listening to me rant. <3
May 15, 2013, 4:41am   #13
alliemia's Avatar
love shopping!!!
Just don't leave your kids with her. Hire a sitter if you have to. Seems like she's going to do what she wants to do regardless of what you say. Scary.

And yes, anyone other than a hair cutter that I'm paying should not be near my kids with sharp scissors.
May 15, 2013, 3:18pm   #14
glistenpearls's Avatar
Ex-Sydneysider
I would. The reason why I trimmed and cut my boys hair before my MIL visiting us. My own mom however will not even dare to try.
May 15, 2013, 9:30pm   #15
lulilu's Avatar
Member
My mother always felt free to do stuff like this. She felt because she babysat, she was free to do what she wanted and would not acknowledge why it upset me.
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