When did you tell friends & family?

fashion16 · Jan 18th, 2008, 04:50 PM

I have known for 2 weeks now that I am pg. I want to tell people so bad but I am a very private person and I am so scared that if I had a miscarriage, I would have to go back & tell people and I just don't want to do that. I don't want the "oh, I am sorry" eyes, the hugs, all that bull.
I really just want to tell my inlaws but my MIL has a HUGE mouth and works for the same company so everyone in the office would know.
When did you tell your friends & family?

monkaroo · Jan 18th, 2008, 05:05 PM

Week 14. Except for a handful of very close friends who I knew I could trust NOT to tell anyone. I wanted that support and sharing of the joy and those friends were wonderful. I made the mistake of telling my mother at 8 weeks and even after making it very clear that she was NOT to discuss it with anyone until after week 14, of course she did. I really regretted not trusting my gut and not telling her. So...FWIW, trust your gut and don't tell MIL. She likely won't be able to keep from spilling the beans.
Again.... congrats.....

fashion16 · Jan 18th, 2008, 05:09 PM

Thanks! That helps. I estimate that I am 6 weeks so another 8 weeks will be tough but I think it is the best decision. Is 14 weeks the "benchmark" to ensure that you don't mc?

rileygirl · Jan 18th, 2008, 07:41 PM

I waited until after 3 months and after all my tests came back okay.

anghelq · Jan 18th, 2008, 08:06 PM

I'm 7 weeks pregnant but I'm still waiting for my doctors appt. We decided that we are going to do tell everybody around 12 weeks. It's really up to you.

qtiekiki · Jan 18th, 2008, 08:22 PM

I was going to wait til the 2nd trimester which is between 13 - 14 wks, but DH was really excited and wanted to tell his parents. So we told both of our parents about a week before Christmas when I was around 5 wk pg. Our parents then told our siblings, and wasn't supposed to tell anyone else. MIL ended up telling her whole family on Christmas. We are getting ready to tell our friends soon now that I am 12 wk pg and seen the hb twice.

Well 14 wk is not the benchmark for not m/c-ing, but it's considered the end of the 1st trimester. But according to pregnancy websites, 80% of m/c happen by 12 wk, so your chance of m/c is less after 12 wk. Also if you see the hb on u/s, then your chance of m/c decrease to 3-5%.

ladybugfreckle · Jan 18th, 2008, 08:36 PM

Congrats!! I am awful at keeping secrets, I'm sure I will spill it immediately

luvamoramore · Jan 18th, 2008, 08:43 PM

I waited after the 1st trimester. And I was 4 mths along.

juicy couture jen · Jan 18th, 2008, 11:32 PM

Around 4 months!

ILuvMyHusband · Jan 18th, 2008, 11:52 PM

I couldn't hold it in... I found out at 5 weeks... and so did everyone else lol.

maria28 · Jan 19th, 2008, 01:42 AM

after 14weeks

umdana · Jan 19th, 2008, 02:06 AM

me and my big mouth, i couldn't hold it. in my first pg and now i'm 7 weeks pg itold my family and bff.
you guys are making me feel bad after the 1st trimester!!!!!!!!

kimberf · Jan 19th, 2008, 04:05 AM

I told a few people early, a week or two after I found out, so around 6-7 weeks. My parents and about 4 close friends found out then. I knew I would want to be able to talk to a few people if I miscarried, and these would be the ones I would go to for a shoulder to cry on.

I also told my boss way back then because I have some complications that I knew were going to necessitate a lot of extra doctors' visits (every week or two since the beginning.) My company is reorg'ing and I didn't want him thinking I was interviewing when I was out all the time. I wouldn't have told him that early if it weren't for that.

I didn't tell other people - more casual friends or coworkers - until around 18 weeks, when I got the amnio back. It was about the time that people
were starting to wonder. There are some of my friends who are long-distance who I just told recently, since I don't talk to them that often!!

BagsAreMyBabies · Jan 20th, 2008, 10:38 AM

With my first pregnancy, I told my parents, siblings and two best friends the night I found out. I waited until about 2 1/2 moths to tell everyone else. My reasoning for telling those closest to me was that if I did miscarry, I would want the support from the people that I am closest to.

I am pregnant with my second one now - going on 8 weeks and I have pretty much told everyone. I think if i were to miscarry with this pregnancy, it wouldn't be as devastating to me as it would have been with my first one, so I don't worry about the pain of having to go back and tell everyone.

The thing is, everyone is different and you have to go with your gut. It sounds like, in your case, waiting to tell the in-laws would be warranted.

Shyloo · Jan 20th, 2008, 11:02 AM

Waited until the 12-13th week. I feared a miscarriage and
I didn't want my parents to worry about it as well.
A close friend figured it out because I stopped drinking...........

Jan 18th, 2008, 04:50 PM	#1
fashion16 Member	When did you tell friends & family? I have known for 2 weeks now that I am pg. I want to tell people so bad but I am a very private person and I am so scared that if I had a miscarriage, I would have to go back & tell people and I just don't want to do that. I don't want the "oh, I am sorry" eyes, the hugs, all that bull. I really just want to tell my inlaws but my MIL has a HUGE mouth and works for the same company so everyone in the office would know. When did you tell your friends & family?

Jan 18th, 2008, 05:05 PM	#2
monkaroo Member	Re: When did you tell friends & family? Week 14. Except for a handful of very close friends who I knew I could trust NOT to tell anyone. I wanted that support and sharing of the joy and those friends were wonderful. I made the mistake of telling my mother at 8 weeks and even after making it very clear that she was NOT to discuss it with anyone until after week 14, of course she did. I really regretted not trusting my gut and not telling her. So...FWIW, trust your gut and don't tell MIL. She likely won't be able to keep from spilling the beans. Again.... congrats.....

Jan 18th, 2008, 05:09 PM	#3
fashion16 Member	Re: When did you tell friends & family? Thanks! That helps. I estimate that I am 6 weeks so another 8 weeks will be tough but I think it is the best decision. Is 14 weeks the "benchmark" to ensure that you don't mc?

Jan 18th, 2008, 07:41 PM	#4
rileygirl Prune's up next...	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I waited until after 3 months and after all my tests came back okay. __________________ Trying to stay focussed on: Lena or Liao Horn Necklace Prune Clemence 30 cm Lindy CDC with PH in Black, Rouge, or Potiron

Jan 18th, 2008, 08:06 PM	#5
anghelq Angela Location: California	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I'm 7 weeks pregnant but I'm still waiting for my doctors appt. We decided that we are going to do tell everybody around 12 weeks. It's really up to you. __________________

Jan 18th, 2008, 08:22 PM	#6
qtiekiki Member Location: Los Angeles	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I was going to wait til the 2nd trimester which is between 13 - 14 wks, but DH was really excited and wanted to tell his parents. So we told both of our parents about a week before Christmas when I was around 5 wk pg. Our parents then told our siblings, and wasn't supposed to tell anyone else. MIL ended up telling her whole family on Christmas. We are getting ready to tell our friends soon now that I am 12 wk pg and seen the hb twice. Well 14 wk is not the benchmark for not m/c-ing, but it's considered the end of the 1st trimester. But according to pregnancy websites, 80% of m/c happen by 12 wk, so your chance of m/c is less after 12 wk. Also if you see the hb on u/s, then your chance of m/c decrease to 3-5%. __________________ Have: Tokidoki: Inferno Gioco, Adios Star Canguro, Paradiso BV, Foresta Zucca, Spiaggia Cucciolo, Citta Trenino, Original Print Angioletto, Tan Playground Caramella, Olive Camo PG Angioletto (Thanks vmasterz), Tutti Avventura, Original Print Ciao Fendi: Cognac Leather Spy LV: Monogram Klara Want: Fendi: Medallion and/or Black leather Baby Spy Chanel: Classic Flap and/or Cambon Tote

Jan 18th, 2008, 08:36 PM	#7
ladybugfreckle one is never enough	Re: When did you tell friends & family? Congrats!! I am awful at keeping secrets, I'm sure I will spill it immediately __________________

Jan 18th, 2008, 08:43 PM	#8
luvamoramore Member	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I waited after the 1st trimester. And I was 4 mths along.

Jan 18th, 2008, 11:32 PM	#9
juicy couture jen Sale Hunter Location: Massachusetts, USA	Re: When did you tell friends & family? Around 4 months! __________________

Jan 18th, 2008, 11:52 PM	#10
ILuvMyHusband Member	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I couldn't hold it in... I found out at 5 weeks... and so did everyone else lol. __________________

Jan 19th, 2008, 01:42 AM	#11
maria28 loving H... Location: UK	Re: When did you tell friends & family? after 14weeks __________________ secretly dreaming of a floppy etoupe clemence w/ PHW kelly 35, but my new year's resolution for 2009 is: "to enjoy and use what i have"

Jan 19th, 2008, 02:06 AM	#12
umdana Member	Re: When did you tell friends & family? me and my big mouth, i couldn't hold it. in my first pg and now i'm 7 weeks pg itold my family and bff. you guys are making me feel bad after the 1st trimester!!!!!!!!

Jan 19th, 2008, 04:05 AM	#13
kimberf Member Location: California	Re: When did you tell friends & family? I told a few people early, a week or two after I found out, so around 6-7 weeks. My parents and about 4 close friends found out then. I knew I would want to be able to talk to a few people if I miscarried, and these would be the ones I would go to for a shoulder to cry on. I also told my boss way back then because I have some complications that I knew were going to necessitate a lot of extra doctors' visits (every week or two since the beginning.) My company is reorg'ing and I didn't want him thinking I was interviewing when I was out all the time. I wouldn't have told him that early if it weren't for that. I didn't tell other people - more casual friends or coworkers - until around 18 weeks, when I got the amnio back. It was about the time that people were starting to wonder. There are some of my friends who are long-distance who I just told recently, since I don't talk to them that often!!

Jan 20th, 2008, 10:38 AM	#14
BagsAreMyBabies Member Location: Michigan	Re: When did you tell friends & family? With my first pregnancy, I told my parents, siblings and two best friends the night I found out. I waited until about 2 1/2 moths to tell everyone else. My reasoning for telling those closest to me was that if I did miscarry, I would want the support from the people that I am closest to. I am pregnant with my second one now - going on 8 weeks and I have pretty much told everyone. I think if i were to miscarry with this pregnancy, it wouldn't be as devastating to me as it would have been with my first one, so I don't worry about the pain of having to go back and tell everyone. The thing is, everyone is different and you have to go with your gut. It sounds like, in your case, waiting to tell the in-laws would be warranted.

Jan 20th, 2008, 11:02 AM	#15
Shyloo Member Location: canada	Re: When did you tell friends & family? Waited until the 12-13th week. I feared a miscarriage and I didn't want my parents to worry about it as well. A close friend figured it out because I stopped drinking........... __________________ Life is too short to carry a bad bag...............