When did you know you were ready...?

Megs · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:04 PM

I am sure there are threads similar to this (I am going off the I'm having URGES for baby # 2!!!! thread), but when did you know you were ready for a baby?

Did you and DH discuss it in length? Was it decided to happen around a certain financial time? Age? Random?

Vlad and I have spoken about when we want to start a family at length. I want us to be financially stable, have a home to be able to expand in, and have had a bit of time to ourselves after being married and getting to spend time with one another. The money part is important to me because I would like to have enough for my kids to have nice schools from the start (especially if we stay in this area of South Florida, private is much much better than public).

And even though we have this in mind, and want to wait for a couple years after we are married, sometimes I just feel so ready. Sure the money is not where we see it ideally, and we haven't had our wedding yet (def would like to wait until after the wedding!), but I just start to want a family.

I have never questioned wanting a family in my life - I have always always wanted kids. Nannying only got me knowing more how much I want kids in my life. I suppose my body is just telling me it is ready if I am willing

So what/how did you and your DH/SO decide you were 'ready'?

hamstahon · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:21 PM

DH and I are talking about it now. we don't have any kids yet and we'll be married 3 years this thursday. i think now that the baby pressure from family has died down a little, i'd love to start having kids now. we have a couple of roadblocks though: we're in a transitional point in our careers now, him accepting a new position and me possibly getting a huge promotion. plus, we have to make a decision to stay where we are or move. i'd like us to be settled with our careers, home, and money before we bring a child into the mix. I set a personal timeline of age 28 and after i've completed my masters and i'll probably stick to it, which means hopefully we'll start trying this time next year :)

ive_flipped · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:25 PM

I have been considering it in great length and we have had the discussions. We have been together for 4 years an lived together for 2 so the fact that we have been married for only a month really doesn't matter.
I am like you. Money is a huge consideration as well as time. I love sleeping and going out and just doing my thing and a baby really really really changes that BUT I feel the urge to have another baby. It would be like the first all over again because my son is 10. I really do not want to have a baby past 30 either so...

I guess the moral is I am not sure the time is ever perfect and I think sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Megs · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:45 PM

^ I know what both of you mean. I guess for me I would ideally like to wait until after we get married. After that (which will be October of 2009) I would like to wait about 2 years. I am hoping by that time we will know where we want to settle for a bit, have a house, and have a stable income.

But if it were to happen out of order, I would still be thrilled!

heat97 · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:49 PM

ooohhh Megs this sounds just like me.... DF and I are getting married in July '09 and i want to basically have everything exactly how you put it... financially stable, alone time etc.... but i have been getting those baby feelings lately too!!

Megs · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:55 PM

^ Vlad does not always welcome the baby feelings. He isn't against it, but he is very sure that our 'timeline' is a better option than right now. But when we see a baby out and about he melts, which I know means he is caving a bit.

I just am getting a bit of an itch... more than ever. So I feel like my body is talking to me. I am trying to tell it 'not yet'!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jun 16th, 2008, 11:59 PM

oh Megs

We actually thought we'd wait longher after we got married adn a month or so after the wedding we got excited and started trying! LOL!
Good thing too because like a lot of women, we struggled to conceive and it ended up taking a a year.

heat97 · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:00 AM

Megs^^^ I am so nodding in agreement with you!!!

Megs · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

oh Megs

We actually thought we'd wait longher after we got married adn a month or so after the wedding we got excited and started trying! LOL!
Good thing too because like a lot of women, we struggled to conceive and it ended up taking a a year.

Really? I can totally see us being more like that... well me, at least!

I wonder if it will take me long to conceive, but obviously I have no idea!

Megs · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:05 AM

I also now SHOP in the baby section at department stores. There are shirts that I DESPERATELY want to buy and Vlad tells me it is weird.

HE IS WEIRD

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:08 AM

it's not weird Hon

It doesn't happen to everyone, but that happens to a lot of us.
Heck, I still walk by Pea in a Pod and want to go in and shop!
DH and I even began "stalking" other people's children

Let me explain before you all freak!
We'd be in a park or a public area and we'd find ourselves watching the kids and gushing over how adorable they were. . . we KNEW we needed our own! LOL!

Megs · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:11 AM

The only weirdo is Vlad

JK!

Yes, I do the same Swanky!!! Vlad is doing it more and more. And sometimes he even says he wants a baby, which makes my heart smile so big.

When I nannied, the kids and I were so close. I loved telling people stories about the kids and probably sounded like they were my own. When I took the kids out, people always thought they were mine (the little girl and I look similar!). I miss those days so much and am ready to have my days with my kids and my stories!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:19 AM

you will and I can't wait to hear everyone of them!

Funny story, I was leaving Central Market w/ my 3 kids and the father of my DD's best friend and 3 of her siblings. So there was me and my 3 kids, a Dad and his 4 kids. . . we got a LOT of attention!

I couldn't figure out why people were looking and smiling at us until he pointed out people thought we were a family of 9 {7 kids}!

I can't wait until you and Vladi conceive . . . cutest babies evah!

Megs · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:24 AM

9 would be a lot!!!! But then you would be like John and Kate + 8!!!

Ugh... just totally feeling it lately. Must hold off. I think our babies will be BIG! That is a tad worrisome for delivery, but I have child bearing hips so it should be just fine!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jun 17th, 2008, 12:28 AM

LOL! My DH was more than 10 lbs @ birth and left the hospital over 11lbs! That's unheard of, babies always lose weight after birth!
I was scared to death! Oh and my Grandfather was 13lbs!

I had big babies, but totally doable - DD was 8.7 and the twins were almost 7 each!

Hang in there, I know it's hard to fight the urge when it's your body calling for it!

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:21 PM	#2
hamstahon Looooves sales Location: CT	DH and I are talking about it now. we don't have any kids yet and we'll be married 3 years this thursday. i think now that the baby pressure from family has died down a little, i'd love to start having kids now. we have a couple of roadblocks though: we're in a transitional point in our careers now, him accepting a new position and me possibly getting a huge promotion. plus, we have to make a decision to stay where we are or move. i'd like us to be settled with our careers, home, and money before we bring a child into the mix. I set a personal timeline of age 28 and after i've completed my masters and i'll probably stick to it, which means hopefully we'll start trying this time next year :) __________________ alright, fine, i'm

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:25 PM	#3
ive_flipped It's a Girl!!!!!!! Location: eh!! lol	I have been considering it in great length and we have had the discussions. We have been together for 4 years an lived together for 2 so the fact that we have been married for only a month really doesn't matter. I am like you. Money is a huge consideration as well as time. I love sleeping and going out and just doing my thing and a baby really really really changes that BUT I feel the urge to have another baby. It would be like the first all over again because my son is 10. I really do not want to have a baby past 30 either so... I guess the moral is I am not sure the time is ever perfect and I think sometimes you just have to go with the flow. __________________ IT'S A GIRL

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:49 PM	#5
heat97 Member Location: NYC	ooohhh Megs this sounds just like me.... DF and I are getting married in July '09 and i want to basically have everything exactly how you put it... financially stable, alone time etc.... but i have been getting those baby feelings lately too!! __________________ "I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet"

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:59 PM	#7
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	oh Megs We actually thought we'd wait longher after we got married adn a month or so after the wedding we got excited and started trying! LOL! Good thing too because like a lot of women, we struggled to conceive and it ended up taking a a year. __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:00 AM	#8
heat97 Member Location: NYC	Megs^^^ I am so nodding in agreement with you!!! __________________ "I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet"

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:04 PM	#1
Megs	When did you know you were ready...? I am sure there are threads similar to this (I am going off the I'm having URGES for baby # 2!!!! thread), but when did you know you were ready for a baby? Did you and DH discuss it in length? Was it decided to happen around a certain financial time? Age? Random? Vlad and I have spoken about when we want to start a family at length. I want us to be financially stable, have a home to be able to expand in, and have had a bit of time to ourselves after being married and getting to spend time with one another. The money part is important to me because I would like to have enough for my kids to have nice schools from the start (especially if we stay in this area of South Florida, private is much much better than public). And even though we have this in mind, and want to wait for a couple years after we are married, sometimes I just feel so ready. Sure the money is not where we see it ideally, and we haven't had our wedding yet (def would like to wait until after the wedding!), but I just start to want a family. I have never questioned wanting a family in my life - I have always always wanted kids. Nannying only got me knowing more how much I want kids in my life. I suppose my body is just telling me it is ready if I am willing So what/how did you and your DH/SO decide you were 'ready'? __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:45 PM	#4
Megs	^ I know what both of you mean. I guess for me I would ideally like to wait until after we get married. After that (which will be October of 2009) I would like to wait about 2 years. I am hoping by that time we will know where we want to settle for a bit, have a house, and have a stable income. But if it were to happen out of order, I would still be thrilled! __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 16th, 2008, 11:55 PM	#6
Megs	^ Vlad does not always welcome the baby feelings. He isn't against it, but he is very sure that our 'timeline' is a better option than right now. But when we see a baby out and about he melts, which I know means he is caving a bit. I just am getting a bit of an itch... more than ever. So I feel like my body is talking to me. I am trying to tell it 'not yet'! __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:05 AM	#10
Megs	I also now SHOP in the baby section at department stores. There are shirts that I DESPERATELY want to buy and Vlad tells me it is weird. HE IS WEIRD __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:08 AM	#11
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	it's not weird Hon It doesn't happen to everyone, but that happens to a lot of us. Heck, I still walk by Pea in a Pod and want to go in and shop! DH and I even began "stalking" other people's children Let me explain before you all freak! We'd be in a park or a public area and we'd find ourselves watching the kids and gushing over how adorable they were. . . we KNEW we needed our own! LOL! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:11 AM	#12
Megs	The only weirdo is Vlad JK! Yes, I do the same Swanky!!! Vlad is doing it more and more. And sometimes he even says he wants a baby, which makes my heart smile so big. When I nannied, the kids and I were so close. I loved telling people stories about the kids and probably sounded like they were my own. When I took the kids out, people always thought they were mine (the little girl and I look similar!). I miss those days so much and am ready to have my days with my kids and my stories! __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:19 AM	#13
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	you will and I can't wait to hear everyone of them! Funny story, I was leaving Central Market w/ my 3 kids and the father of my DD's best friend and 3 of her siblings. So there was me and my 3 kids, a Dad and his 4 kids. . . we got a LOT of attention! I couldn't figure out why people were looking and smiling at us until he pointed out people thought we were a family of 9 {7 kids}! I can't wait until you and Vladi conceive . . . cutest babies evah! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:24 AM	#14
Megs	9 would be a lot!!!! But then you would be like John and Kate + 8!!! Ugh... just totally feeling it lately. Must hold off. I think our babies will be BIG! That is a tad worrisome for delivery, but I have child bearing hips so it should be just fine! __________________ Enter our fabulous November giveaway sponsored by Adriana Castro!!!! Check out our latest press, Purse Blog in the Miami Herald!

Jun 17th, 2008, 12:28 AM	#15
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	LOL! My DH was more than 10 lbs @ birth and left the hospital over 11lbs! That's unheard of, babies always lose weight after birth! I was scared to death! Oh and my Grandfather was 13lbs! I had big babies, but totally doable - DD was 8.7 and the twins were almost 7 each! Hang in there, I know it's hard to fight the urge when it's your body calling for it! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny