what would you do??

[ilovepinkhearts]

thank you christy! you said it all.

they aren't bouncing the ball around the store...they bounced it a few times in front of the bin and then put it away.

and yes it's the fact that the employees were RUDE.

and why they would ask where i was, is because they may not know i am their parent, so they ask to double check. and yes it's the rude manner at which they were spoken to that is the main issue here.

**and yes i am talking about wal-mart and target. i used to work at target so i know the store's "rules" when it pertains to the toys or lack there of.

[Roo]

Ok, I guess I'm lost then.

You asked for opinions, and you got a lot of different ones.

It seems like you already know the answer (as least for yourself) since you worked in retail (ie. Target) already?

I personally would not want my children subjected to the 'rude' employees if the rudeness was this unjustified to me... so I'd probably leave them home next time? It seems clear you can't control the behavior of the employees, so all you can really do is control whether or not your kids are around them. kwim?

Originally Posted by ilovepinkhearts

thank you christy! you said it all. they aren't bouncing the ball around the store...they bounced it a few times in front of the bin and then put it away. and yes it's the fact that the employees were RUDE. and why they would ask where i was, is because they may not know i am their parent, so they ask to double check. and yes it's the rude manner at which they were spoken to that is the main issue here. **and yes i am talking about wal-mart and target. i used to work at target so i know the store's "rules" when it pertains to the toys or lack there of.

[canada's]

Originally Posted by Roo

I personally would not want my children subjected to the 'rude' employees if the rudeness was this unjustified to me... so I'd probably leave them home next time? It seems clear you can't control the behavior of the employees, so all you can really do is control whether or not your kids are around them. kwim?

agreed.

i was going to suggest leaving the kids at home since this seems to be a repeated issue and they can't see a ball without playing with it, but i was afraid i'd be burned at the stake. the employee get paid to do their job, not pick up countless balls that random children decide to play with simply because they're bored. i don't buy the "well that's what they're paid for!" argument. no where else in the world do people feel so entitled to stellar CS when they're picking up deodorant and diapers.

[Roo]

Here's a personal story: my stepkids for the most part were really well behaved when they were little. I could pretty much take them anywhere. But from time to time.. they would be jacked on sugar or just being "kids" and would do the wrong things.

One time I took them to a local grocery store where they'd been probably hundreds of times. It was not a new or unique place. I was studying salad dressings on the shelf when I realized they had snuck off and were down the aisle from me... JUMPING UP trying to hit the hanging aisle signs to make them swing. This was right by the entrance to the checkstands. Next thing I knew, an employee of the store appeared with a scowl on his face. I quickly rounded them up with the 'daggers out of the eyes' look and took them to the car. I never took them back there again, I was so embarrassed both because of what they did and also b/c of the employee giving me the stink eye. The point in me telling this dumb story is that kids can be unpredictable and downright silly at times, and we can't always expect others who are in public places to adapt to or tolerate it.

[scarlett_2005]

Originally Posted by HauteMama

After reading all the responses and thinking on this, I think the situation with BALLS is different from pushing a "Try ME!" button on a toy in a box on a shelf. The reason I feel that way is because I was actually in a WalMart the other day that had a big display of large blue and aqua bouncy balls in a bin in the middle of a large aisle. The bin had movable ropes for the sides so that the balls could be removed, as it was too tall to reach into it. The store was not busy, and I told my daughter she could choose one; I would purchase it. She went over and took the ball she wanted and I asked her to pplease put it into the cart. She brought it over and as she was reaching to put it into the cart, she didn't reach quite high enough and it fell off the side instead. Out of nowhere there was an older lady pushing a cart near us. Like I said, the store was not busy, and I had not seen her because I was focusing on making sure my children were behaving. The ball went directly in front of her cart, and could easily have become caught between the cart and an aisle display. That could easily have caused her cart to stop suddenly and she could have lost her balance. As it was, I retrieved the ball immediately and apologized profusely to the lady. She smiled, as she had seen and heard what had happened and knew my child had not been playing and it was not intentional. My point in this long, drawn-out story (there is one, really!) is that it is too easy for accidents to happen with balls. The smaller ones can get caught under the edge of a cart, causing harm to the ball or the person pushing the other cart. Larger ones can easliy bounce away from small hands and hit other displays, knocking things over, or they can get caught between a cart and a display like I was afraid ours would. These things are not intentional and they can happen in a second - you never know when another cart will round a corner or when a child might lose a grip or miss the ball he or a sibling tossed or bounced. Balls are an inherently different situation than are other toys in boxes on shelves, and they can easily present hazzards to others in the store. While this does not excuse an employee's rude behaviour, they have probably seen situations that didn't end as well as mine over and over again. Balls are a hazzard to be played with inside the store, just as they usually are inside a house (at least they are in my house). Children should not be playing with them, regardless of whether they are supervised by a parent or not.

Excellent post! Ita.

[ChristyR143]

Well, there is no point in arguing about whether or not putting objects back in their proper place is in the job description of a WalMart floor employee. If you don't believe me, just give a call up there and ask a manager. But again, that is NOT to say that it is OKAY to just strow things around. Of course it's not, but people still do it all the time. If the employees didn't put the things back, then it wouldn't get done and then the store would end up being one great big junk pile.

But truly, that's not even the issue here, as Danielle's son did not do that.

[HauteMama]

Originally Posted by Roo

For me, hearing stories like this one is also just one more reason I refuse to shop at Walmart.

SO true. I try to bend over backwards not to shop at Walmart, and for any major shopping I do, I go elsewhere. Unfortunately, they are one of the closest larger stores to me, and I do occasionally stop there when I do not have 45 minutes to drive to the next nearest store. Ah, the disadvantages of living in the boon docks...

[alliemia]

i think the store employees should address the adult that is with the child. not yell or scold a child directly.

i do not allow my children to touch or play with anything in stores until we pay for it. even food items in a supermarket. i see tons of people giving their kids stuffed animals to drool all over, to pacify their child while shopping, then putting it back before they leave. or opening up a bag of chips they didn't yet pay for. i would never do either of those things. i teach my kids the stuff isn't ours to touch until we pay. so they will pick a toy/snack and put it into the cart and they will then 'look with their eyes' at toys and such. and they are 3 and 5, but i've always just been this way. i hate getting something in a store that was manhandled.

but anyhow, i don't think store clerks should yell at kids, they should talk with the parent/adult, and i'd mention that to the manager if it did happen. and ask that associates be taught to address the parents for issues of kids handling unpaid goods.

[alliemia]

Originally Posted by ilovepinkhearts

but the difference here is that it's the EMPLOYEE that thinks that my child is in the wrong...i DON'T. i am their parent. yes we are in a store, and yes they bounced a ball and yes they very well could have hurt someone bouncing it [very unlikely]. but i was right there...if i think they are doing something wrong or misbehaving i tell them to stop. i don't need a grouchy employee at a store to be rude to my kids...the end.

i don't think employees should be rude to kids (or adults for that matter), but even if you think what your child is doing (i.e. bouncing a ball) is fine, if the store employee tells you your child has to stop the behavior, then i think it's wrong for you to go against that employee. at that point,i think you need to tell your kids the store doesn't want you touching the balls at all, please put them back. or pick one out to buy.

the stores rules and employee requests to comply with the rules supercede your rules when you are in a store. that is my opinion.

and the fact you had three instances of problems surrounding balls, that would be enough for me to tell my children we are not to touch the balls at all in stores, as it's not allowed unless the ball is paid for and brought outside the store.

personally bouncing balls IMO could cause a hazard it they roll away, so i'd not even let my kids take a ball out, unless it was to go right into our shopping cart.

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by ChristyR143

Neither of these examples have anything in common with the situation at hand. Danielle's son was gently bouncing a ball in an empty isle. How, in any shape or form can this be compared to a child kicking the seat in front of them on an airplane, or a child causing harm to an animal?? Of COURSE in either of those two scenarios, if the parent is not handling the situation, then YES, a stranger has every right to speak to the child (NOT rudely, though), because the child is DIRECTLY affecting someone or something else. But that isn't even close to what happened to Danielle. IMO, what she was dealing with is employees who are probably not getting paid much more than minimum wage, hate their job, and didn't want to be bothered with possibly having to put a ball back in the bin (which, AGAIN, is in the description of a floor employee at WalMart). Here again...apples and oranges.

i wasn't making a direct comparison, or saying that hurting an animal was similar to what danielle's son did. i was just trying to give an example of the type of behavior that many employees have to deal with on a daily basis, which would explain frustration when kids do stuff that may be disruptive to other people. i think in a lot of cases, the issue is that the parent thinks the child is not doing anything wrong, while a store employee is. and my point was, just because a kid bouncing a ball around in a store is not bothersome to you personally, it very likely may be for others, especially to a store employee who has to deal with similar situations all the time.

and just because it's in an employees' job description to put misplaced clothes, toys away does not mean it's totally okay for a shopper to say, take clothes down from a rack and just toss them on the floor (which i've seen people do). i don't think it's fair to say they have no right to be upset when they have to put clothes/toys away that have been strewn around by kids that were merely playing around, just because "that's in their job description". sure, it's the job of janitors to clean up messes and trash left on the floor, but doesn't mean they have no right to get miffed if they see people carelessly tossing cigarette butts or soda cans on the ground.

Originally Posted by Roo

Here's a personal story: my stepkids for the most part were really well behaved when they were little. I could pretty much take them anywhere. But from time to time.. they would be jacked on sugar or just being "kids" and would do the wrong things. One time I took them to a local grocery store where they'd been probably hundreds of times. It was not a new or unique place. I was studying salad dressings on the shelf when I realized they had snuck off and were down the aisle from me... JUMPING UP trying to hit the hanging aisle signs to make them swing. This was right by the entrance to the checkstands. Next thing I knew, an employee of the store appeared with a scowl on his face. I quickly rounded them up with the 'daggers out of the eyes' look and took them to the car. I never took them back there again, I was so embarrassed both because of what they did and also b/c of the employee giving me the stink eye. The point in me telling this dumb story is that kids can be unpredictable and downright silly at times, and we can't always expect others who are in public places to adapt to or tolerate it.

i agree. i remember once when my brother was 5 years old (and i was about 10) we were at this gift shop with my parents. it was this little old boutique-y place that was at a common tourist attraction. off to the side was this old lady (probably about 80 years old) who was sitting at a table making necklaces from beads (to be sold in the store as souvenirs). I remember my brother and I were just standing there watching her, and at one point my brother (being very fidgety at times) reached his hand into the box containing the beads, to play with them. The old lady got really upset and lightly slapped my brother's hand away and said "Don't touch that, those are not for playing, young man!". I remember being quite shocked and looked at my mom, expecting her to ream this lady out. Instead my mom just took us aside to a different part of the store. Later after I was talking to my mom and my dad about what happened, and i was like "wow, that old lady was so rude! she slapped him, isn't that like against the law??" my parents were just like "Yeah, but honestly there is no point in being rude back, she is just this fragile old lady, set in her ways, and probably has to deal with rambunctious kids all the time in her store." And that was that. And looking back on it, there really was no reason for my mom to make a huge deal about it..i mean, what was she going to do, try to get this poor old woman fired? i don't think my brother was traumatized for life from this incident (actually to this day our family laughs about the "bitter old lady from Calistoga"). and looking back on it, if in a few years the same thing would happen to me (this time as the mother) i probably would do the same thing and just let it slide.

[ChristyR143]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

and just because it's in an employees' job description to put misplaced clothes, toys away does not mean it's totally okay for a shopper to say, take clothes down from a rack and just toss them on the floor (which i've seen people do). i don't think it's fair to say they have no right to be upset when they have to put clothes/toys away that have been strewn around by kids that were merely playing around, just because "that's in their job description". sure, it's the job of janitors to clean up messes and trash left on the floor, but doesn't mean they have no right to get miffed if they see people carelessly tossing cigarette butts or soda cans on the ground.

Um, didn't I say, numerous times, in fact, that the fact that it is a walmart employee's job to put things back does NOT make it okay for a customer or a child to leave things where they do not belong? Yes, I did. And also, I NEVER said that they didn't have a right to be upset about it. But regardless of that, they DO NOT have the right to be rude to ANYONE about it either.

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by ChristyR143

Um, didn't I say, numerous times, in fact, that the fact that it is a walmart employee's job to put things back does NOT make it okay to leave things where they do not belong? Yes, I did. And also, I NEVER said that they didn't have a right to be upset about it. But regardless of that, they DO NOT have the right to be rude to ANYONE about it either.

but then why keep insisting numerous times that "putting stuff away is within a (walmart/target) employee's job description"?? I guess I don't understand the relevance of that in this discussion...I mean, why does this matter at all?? If everyone agrees that it is not ok to leave things strewn around, and that it's understandable that employees can get upset with peoplle leaving stuff lying around, then why i don't get why this is issue of what is/isn't in the employee's job description is relevant here.

[ChristyR143]

The only relevance is, IMO, THAT is why the employees were being rude to Danielle's son (because they were afraid they'd have to pick it up and put it back), and if that was the case, that is wrong. This was pure conjecture on my part...having worked for WalMart before. Plus, someone earlier said they didn't believe that it was in their job description, so I was simply saying that yes it was. Then, I went on to say that it wasn't really the point anyway, since Danielle's son DID NOT leave the ball laying in the wrong place, but in fact, put it back right where it belonged. I guess you could say we got off on a tangent here.

The bottom line is that regardless of the situation...regardless of what the boy was doing, it is NEVER okay to speak to anyone rudely or get in someone's face, and that includes a child that is behaving in an inappropriate manner, EVEN IF the parent is not managing the situation. Period. I think we can ALL agree on that point, which was the question Danielle posed in the OP anyway.

[sweetneet]

^i agree that everyone agrees there is no need for an employee to be rude, but i believe the actual question posed in the OP was one of "what would you do" in this type of situation (after all, that is the title of the thread). and to answer that question, people posted their various opinions on what they would do if they were in that situation, whether it be talk to the manager, shop at another store, or as alliemia and others said, to simply instruct your kids not to play with the balls while inside a store. granted, on these types of threads (where someone starts a thread asking for suggestions on what to do given a specific situation) there will always varying opinions, not always ones that the OP (or others) may agree with.

[ChristyR143]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

^i agree that everyone agrees there is no need for an employee to be rude, but i believe the actual question posed in the OP was one of "what would you do" in this type of situation (after all, that is the title of the thread). and to answer that question, people posted their various opinions on what they would do if they were in that situation, whether it be talk to the manager, shop at another store, or as alliemia and others said, to simply instruct your kids not to play with the balls while inside a store. granted, peoples opinions on what they would do in this situation would vary from person to person.

Agreed...I thought I remembered her saying she was wondering about what people would do regarding the tone and manner that her child was approached...I could be remembering that wrong though.