what would you do??

[exotikittenx]

I just think this is part of the reason why kids act so entitled these days. People think they can just go into a store and do whatever they want, bounce balls, play with items they haven't purchased, and then when someone speaks to them or their kid about it, then the employee is at fault. People just get this attitude that they have a right to go into a store and just because they are the consumers, they have a right to act whatever way they want and get what they want out of it. Yes, perhaps some people can take it too far and yelling is not necessary, and a nice request is enough to get the point across, but so what if someone says something to the child directly? I know many people disagree with me, and that is really okay with me, because I just think kids have gotten out of control lately and the entitlement has gone too far. I remember when I was little going into stores with my parents. Some in the U.S. and some in Europe. I remember some stores were VERY strict and kids were not allowed to touch ANYTHING. My parents also enforced that on me to respect the store's rules, and if the store employee had to speak to me, no big deal, because it was probably something I shouldn't have been touching. I know that if a clerk began screaming at me, my parents would have stood up for me, and I certainly agree that a nasty tone is not necessary, but I disagree with the fact that you think it's okay for kids to be playing with items in a store and a store employee shouldn't be able to enforce the store's rules on the child in a decent way. After the first incident, it should have been a lesson learned that balls are not meant to be played with until they leave the store. I think that's more of an issue than the clerk speaking to your child harshly. You said yourself you saw nothing wrong with your kids bouncing a ball in the store, so I think the issue lies within the fact that you have no regard for the store's rules. The kids are instead learning the lesson that they can play with the ball in the store and should never be yelled at, even if they are breaking a store's rules.

[ilovepinkhearts]

no it's the fact that the balls are there and are readily accessible to all children, if they didn't want the balls to be touched then they should have them to where only the parents can reach them. and im sorry i have never seen it written that a child can't touch and or play with a toy in a store....and when it comes to a store that has glass sitting around or fragile things the first thing i tell both my boys is "hands in your pockets and do not touch" so yes i use common sense. but a plastic ball being bounced on the floor is one thing. a child running around the store unsupervised is another. i will not put my children in the same category. if i thought that my children were doing something wrong then i would have put a stop to it., and an employee that is afraid that they may have a ball to pick up has not right to speak to them the way that they did. and im sorry it's not a store rule that the balls can't be played with, it's the fact that the employee doesn't want to have to pick it up and put it back [straight from the guys mouth].

and also we as adults "play" with things that we like when we are at a store. trying on sunglasses, trying on clothes, purses, hats...etc. we don't like them we don't buy them and someone usually has to put them away...

and i have worked retail as i have stated. i had the pleasure of working through all the holidays and getting to clean up the messes that ADULTS make when looking at school supplies and christmas decorations. so where is the respect for the employees then??

[vhdos]

I think that the "bad" parents ruin it for the good ones. Whenever I bring my 4 and 5-year olds shopping with me, I allow them to occupy their time by respectfully playing with toys from the store. I would never let them run around, get loud, open and/or break things, annoy other shoppers, etc. However, I have seen far too many parents go about their shopping while just letting their children run a muck.
As far as the employees disciplining your children, completely unacceptable. I agree that they should talk to the parents if a child is misbehaving. If an employee approached my child and was inappropriate, I would speak with management. If I didn't get a valid response from management, I'd shop somewhere else.

[merika]

I guess most parents (myself included) tend to get defensive if their kids get spoken to by someone else for misbehaving because it implies a lack of parenting on their part.

I'll never forget the scene I saw once at a store near my house. A kid was messing around in a toy aisle and an employee told him not to. The mom got extremely irate, yelled at the employee "You tellin' my kid whatta do? Bringing up my kid is MY business". The employee mumbled something and left, and the mom slapped the kid hard on the back of his head. lol.

[exotikittenx]

You make a good point that adults also try things, but adults are not the same as children. Also, just because the toys are there does not mean they should be played with. A ball being bounced around could end up as a hazard, unlike trying on a pair of sunglasses. And kids are also more likely to leave things lying around and not know how to handle items properly as adults know how. Your title asked "What would you do?" and I've stated my opinion. You said it was in three separate stores that this happened and you are failing to see a pattern here. The stores have expressed they don't want kids playing with the balls, but you take it upon yourself to make your own rules while you are shopping. Perhaps adults try things on, but kids aren't always able to handle things in the way that adults are. I think it's great that you teach your kids not to touch fragile things in stores and to put things away, but not every child is taught that, and unfortunately the store has to set up guidelines and draw a line somewhere, so I think it would be better if you respected their rules when shopping.

[exotikittenx]

Originally Posted by vhdos

I think that the "bad" parents ruin it for the good ones.

I think this is true and it is unfortunate, but I also think if a store expresses that they do not want something played with, these rules should be followed, because it would be too difficult to allow some to play, and others not to.

[exotikittenx]

Originally Posted by merika

I guess most parents (myself included) tend to get defensive if their kids get spoken to by someone else for misbehaving because it implies a lack of parenting on their part.

I also agree with this, and I wouldn't like to have my child spoken to, but I would also accept that my child was doing something that shouldn't have been done.... point taken and move on. If the clerk was out of control and went overboard, I would definitely say something though, because there is no reason why it couldn't have been said in a nice and respectful way. But the mere fact that they said something to the child (not considering harsh tone), I see nothing wrong with that.

[nataliam1976]

Funny I saw this thread now, just today we saw a woman tripping over a toy some kid left on the floor in the supermarket a few minutes earlier.

I totally agree with you exotikitten. A store is a store, and until you pay, things lying around are not customers property to have fun with. Just because a ball is readily accessible and not in box like many other toys, it doesnt mean its there for their entertainment. Unless its a playground within a store, but it wasnt a case in any of those incidents.


And lets be serious here, its not always space wise possible to put away everything that kids shouldnt have access to out of their reach. Its up to the parents to make sure their kids are behaving. And comparing adults touching and trying on items for purchase with kids playing a ball in the store is completely inadequate IMHO.

Also, except for anything else ( again, not yours to play with), playing with balls is NOT a good idea for safety reasons: somebody coming from around the corner not expecting a ball flying in their direction, glass items around etc etc. And lets not start saying how the kids control the ball and none of this would happen, please.


That said, I do understand that speaking directly to kids by employees this way is not appreciated and could be done properly. But then lets face it, the kid is doing something he shouldnt, the parent isnt reacting, it might be a natural reaction to speak to the child directly. No need getting pissy about something that the parent could and should have prevented in the first place.

[ilovepinkhearts]

and i agree 150% a ball flying through the air can be a hazard. i have been in sports stores and there are adults throwing a football back and forth...not safe at all. my sons are under 4 feet tall and they bounce a ball below their waist. so it's not flying through the air, and it's not going to 'take someone out'.

and the reason the toys and all are easily accessible is because it's a selling tactic. they want the kids to see it, touch it and in the end for the parent or grown up to buy it. especially those toys that they have right by the check out [impulse buys].

and i also failed to mention that the store isn't packed, it's not busy. it's not like there are people everywhere trying to shop and i allow my boys to dribble a ball around and between the shoppers. they bounce the ball a couple of times and i say "ok, that's enough guys. put it back and let's go".

yes they have been told 3 times to stop, but what about the other umpteen times they have been playing with a ball and an employee said nothing

** i can't stand the toy aisles that have been trashed by kids and you can't get down the aisles. and i agree the bad parents ruin it for all...and it's a shame. i am doing my best to teach my boys respect and there are so few parents that care any more.

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by ilovepinkhearts

and i agree 150% a ball flying through the air can be a hazard. i have been in sports stores and there are adults throwing a football back and forth...not safe at all. my sons are under 4 feet tall and they bounce a ball below their waist. so it's not flying through the air, and it's not going to 'take someone out'. and the reason the toys and all are easily accessible is because it's a selling tactic. they want the kids to see it, touch it and in the end for the parent or grown up to buy it. especially those toys that they have right by the check out [impulse buys]. and i also failed to mention that the store isn't packed, it's not busy. it's not like there are people everywhere trying to shop and i allow my boys to dribble a ball around and between the shoppers. they bounce the ball a couple of times and i say "ok, that's enough guys. put it back and let's go". yes they have been told 3 times to stop, but what about the other umpteen times they have been playing with a ball and an employee said nothing ** i can't stand the toy aisles that have been trashed by kids and you can't get down the aisles. and i agree the bad parents ruin it for all...and it's a shame. i am doing my best to teach my boys respect and there are so few parents that care any more.

What you wrote is exactly what I talked about in the previous thread about justifying it, the kids are 4 and bounce the ball. It doesnt matter how high they bounce it, its takes a second for the kid to not bounce it properly and off it goes, rolling on the floor or up in the air, doesnt matter, its still a hazard.

I know why the toys are accessible. And I could understand it as argument if it happened to you once. But it happened on 3 different occasions in different stores, and you are the adult who should teach the kids acting out on impulse is not the way to go there.

And its not about how many times they were doing the same thing and nobody said anything - just because nobody did, it doesnt make it right. You could know better yourself.

You keep writing that the store wasnt packed, it wasnt a big deal and so on, but honestly nobody will bother making rules like if the kids are below certain age and dont play ball high and there are less than xxx number of customers in the store its ok to play with toys.

Bottom line is they shouldnt be playing with the balls in the store no matter what and you could have easily avoided the 2 and 3 unpleasant situation if not all 3 of them.

[olialm1]

I understand why you're upset, but IMO letting your kids continually play with the balls after a few confrontations was just adding fuel to the fire. The situations could have just been avoided if you told your kids to stay away from them. Plus, walmart/target employees tend to have to deal with a lot of crap from customers so I can also see where they're coming from too.

[twinkle.tink]

Running a muck in a store, or touching things in say the dish section is quite different than a child bouncing a ball or touching a toy in a section that is meant to be enticing to them. Also, these employees speaking to children in this manner are not, in all probability speaking about store rules, but rather their own preferences. They don't want to be putting the balls, toys, etc back...not that I can blame them...but let's be honest here...that is their job. Stores actually want you the kids to touch and play with the toys, because just like adults once they touch something the percentage that the item will get bought goes up significantly. There was just a huge study done on this. I assure, there are no stores like ones Danielle is describing (target, walmart, etc) that have rules about children not bouncing balls, so telling her, her children are breaking the rules is just wrong.

Now, be for some one jumps all over me, I am not saying it is ok for a child to come in and wreck the department....think of it like this....when you go in a department store and try on clothes, some one has to put them back. The other day, I actually heard a store employee make a comment to a shopper leaving a dressing room, "you tried all those on and not buying anything? Now I have to put it all back." Totally inappropriate. Um, that is your job? Just like it is an the employees job in the toy section to pick up misplaced toys...if they don't like it, they should not be in retail.

Speaking of self entitlement, that is sadly rampant these days and in not just a problem with children. People seem to have no empathy, understanding, respect or tolerance for others. Those annoyed with children/babies on a plane have no more right to the plane than themselves. The person who gets disturbed by child simply bouncing a ball is just as wrong as the child running around wildly running around. Neither belong in a public place. If you can't keep your child in check, leave him home. If you can't stand a child simply being a kid (and there is a difference) stay home and shop online.

[ChristyR143]

I agree with you 100% tink.

Danielle - I would complain to managment at all three places (if you haven't already). And if it ever happens again, I'd give the employee a piece of my mind.

[vhdos]

Just wanted to add that I've dealt with similar "hazards" by women (without children) yacking on their cell phones, not paying attention, and pushing their carts through the store like a bat out of hell. One of them almost plowed into my unsuspecting toddler once.
I think people are getting a little carried away with the, "the balls are dangerous" rationale. Do I admit that they can be a hazard? Of course. But if a parent is being a responsible parent, toys (or anything else in the store for that matter) are not being played with inappropriately.

[nataliam1976]

Hi vhdos. Yes, there are a lot of different hazards like the woman plowing into your kid, but that is not the subject of this thread.

And the OP admitted herself on one occasion that she didnt even see her kids because she was round the corner, so even if they did something inappropriate she wouldnt know.

I think people are a bit carried away with trying to make a distinction what is and what is not acceptable to play with and how in a store. Store is not a playground, simple as that.