What would you classify spoiling a child?

orderandlaw · Jul 6th, 2008, 07:07 PM

Children nowadays have more than we ever had. Technology has advanced, media with the Internet has boomed, etc etc. And we now have options that weren’t even imaginable when we were little.

It is a parents job to love, nurture, teach, care and protect their children. You teach love by example, you teach charity by example, you teach giving by example but how do you balance that with “keeping up with the Jones”.

What would you classify spoiling a child?

artjen · Jul 6th, 2008, 08:05 PM

By not setting limits or enforcing rules. Allowing them to do as they wish.

Danica · Jul 6th, 2008, 08:53 PM

^ Agreed. :)

ChristyR143 · Jul 6th, 2008, 09:12 PM

Yep, not setting boundaries or disciplining properly. Also, buying them too many things and giving in to their every whim when at the store, or wherever.

PurseFanatic · Jul 6th, 2008, 09:18 PM

I agree with above. My ex boyfriends daughter has had a cell phone since she was 10 but I don't see that as spoiling her, she was / is involved in dance, band, piano, etc, so he had to know he could get in touch with her and her with him if a lesson ended early or there was an emergency and he had to come get her. She also has never abused the privilege.

ChristyR143 · Jul 6th, 2008, 09:33 PM

Yeah, I don't think a cell phone is really spoiling these days...especially with all the activities our kiddos are involved in. But thinking that they deserve a toy every time we go to the store? Nope.

bonniec · Jul 6th, 2008, 10:42 PM

Kids are spoiled when they become BRATS... as Christy mentioned, not acknowledging authority, not appreciative, expect to buy things at the store every visit...

Mrs. MC · Jul 6th, 2008, 10:46 PM

I agree, not setting limits and letting children have whatever they want so that things like special occasions, birthdays and other gift giving/receiving holidays are not special at all because they get whatever anyway. Also to reinforce with them the feeling of appreciation when someone does something for them or gives them something that it is not an expectation that they feel entitled to. I don't think you can force appreciation but parents should convey to their children the idea of being grateful and not "entitled". Also teaching children boundaries and manners, to say "thank you" "excuse me" etc. I think lack of awareness of personal boundaries can lead to spoiled behavior as well.

HauteMama · Jul 6th, 2008, 11:24 PM

I agree that it has less to do with money and the things we buy them, and more to do with the attitude we teach them and the boundaries we set. What I might allow my children to have might be different from what others choose, but as long as we both teach our children to value what they have, the importance of respect and hard work, and not to expect the world to revolve around them, then we have both been good parents.

frostee · Jul 7th, 2008, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artjen

By not setting limits or enforcing rules. Allowing them to do as they wish.

Exactly!

Well said..

twinkle.tink · Jul 7th, 2008, 12:53 AM

Material things do not always equal spoiled children.

My kids have pretty much everything they could want...but then again, so do I and so does my husband....I do not consider them 'spoiled'.

That doesn't stop them for being polite, well behaved, considerate of others. They have chores and responsibilities. They get good grades and have respect for their elders and authority. We as a family volunteer and donate a great deal. They also know when I or my DH says no, that means no.

ChristyR143 · Jul 7th, 2008, 01:09 AM

Let me clarify... I also do not think that material things automatically equals a spoiled child. Far from it. It's when that child starts EXPECTING things and throws a fit when they don't get it, then that is what equates to being spoiled.

Nola · Jul 7th, 2008, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artjen

By not setting limits or enforcing rules. Allowing them to do as they wish.

merika · Jul 7th, 2008, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle.tink

Material things do not always equal spoiled children.

My kids have pretty much everything they could want...but then again, so do I and so does my husband....I do not consider them 'spoiled'.

That doesn't stop them for being polite, well behaved, considerate of others. They have chores and responsibilities. They get good grades and have respect for their elders and authority. We as a family volunteer and donate a great deal. They also know when I or my DH says no, that means no.

Jul 6th, 2008, 07:07 PM	#1
orderandlaw Member	What would you classify spoiling a child? Children nowadays have more than we ever had. Technology has advanced, media with the Internet has boomed, etc etc. And we now have options that weren’t even imaginable when we were little. It is a parents job to love, nurture, teach, care and protect their children. You teach love by example, you teach charity by example, you teach giving by example but how do you balance that with “keeping up with the Jones”. What would you classify spoiling a child?

Jul 6th, 2008, 08:53 PM	#3
Danica Mijn boter boontje Location: TN	^ Agreed. :) __________________ Cheerleader for love

Jul 6th, 2008, 09:12 PM	#4
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Location: Texas	Yep, not setting boundaries or disciplining properly. Also, buying them too many things and giving in to their every whim when at the store, or wherever. __________________

Jul 6th, 2008, 09:18 PM	#5
PurseFanatic Member	I agree with above. My ex boyfriends daughter has had a cell phone since she was 10 but I don't see that as spoiling her, she was / is involved in dance, band, piano, etc, so he had to know he could get in touch with her and her with him if a lesson ended early or there was an emergency and he had to come get her. She also has never abused the privilege. __________________ My sweetie's latest ultrasound pic It's a girl!! I'm due December 28!

Jul 6th, 2008, 09:33 PM	#6
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Location: Texas	Yeah, I don't think a cell phone is really spoiling these days...especially with all the activities our kiddos are involved in. But thinking that they deserve a toy every time we go to the store? Nope. __________________

Jul 6th, 2008, 08:05 PM	#2
artjen Young @ Art Location: Arizona	By not setting limits or enforcing rules. Allowing them to do as they wish.

Jul 6th, 2008, 10:42 PM	#7
bonniec Neurotic SAHM by day	Kids are spoiled when they become BRATS... as Christy mentioned, not acknowledging authority, not appreciative, expect to buy things at the store every visit...

Jul 6th, 2008, 10:46 PM	#8
Mrs. MC Member	I agree, not setting limits and letting children have whatever they want so that things like special occasions, birthdays and other gift giving/receiving holidays are not special at all because they get whatever anyway. Also to reinforce with them the feeling of appreciation when someone does something for them or gives them something that it is not an expectation that they feel entitled to. I don't think you can force appreciation but parents should convey to their children the idea of being grateful and not "entitled". Also teaching children boundaries and manners, to say "thank you" "excuse me" etc. I think lack of awareness of personal boundaries can lead to spoiled behavior as well. __________________

Jul 6th, 2008, 11:24 PM	#9
HauteMama Member	I agree that it has less to do with money and the things we buy them, and more to do with the attitude we teach them and the boundaries we set. What I might allow my children to have might be different from what others choose, but as long as we both teach our children to value what they have, the importance of respect and hard work, and not to expect the world to revolve around them, then we have both been good parents.

Jul 7th, 2008, 12:53 AM	#11
twinkle.tink Pixie Duster Location: Just call me Tink ;)	Material things do not always equal spoiled children. My kids have pretty much everything they could want...but then again, so do I and so does my husband....I do not consider them 'spoiled'. That doesn't stop them for being polite, well behaved, considerate of others. They have chores and responsibilities. They get good grades and have respect for their elders and authority. We as a family volunteer and donate a great deal. They also know when I or my DH says no, that means no. __________________

Jul 7th, 2008, 01:09 AM	#12
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Location: Texas	Let me clarify... I also do not think that material things automatically equals a spoiled child. Far from it. It's when that child starts EXPECTING things and throws a fit when they don't get it, then that is what equates to being spoiled. __________________