Hi Ladies!

I am expecting my first baby (a boy) at the end of October. Due to a pre-existing health issue, my doctor and I agreed that I shouldn't breast feed. I was a little disappointed at first, but I am comfortable with my decision now. The only thing is that I am worried about constantly having to handle judgment from other people.

I've already been warned that the nurses at the hospital will tell me that I am a bad mother for bottle feeding (though DH promised to deal with them).

Did you receive negative comments? If so, how did you deal with them?

TIA!

I did get some negative comments, saying something like my technique could be wrong, I didn't try hard enough, I chose a wrong lactation consultant and so on.
I got about 4 different nurses while I stayed in hospital for 4 nights, only one being real negative. The rests didn't really making any comments (not in front of me at least).
I'd like to think myself pretty thick but it did bother me at first, but not anymore because it's truly none of their business. You are the mother, you do what best for you and your baby. To be honest, I think it's rude to make comments when nobody ask their opinions. Don't be so hard on yourself, everything will be ok!

I saw your blog, cute bump by the way, congratulations!

If nurses tell you you are a bad mother, please report them to the supervisor. I've never heard that happening before. Even if they were to suggest breastfeeding, if you have decided not to, it's your choice and they really don't care, they just note on your baby's bassinet what you are doing.

Who is going to make comments? Friends, relatives, strangers? For one, you don't have to tell anyone your feeding choice for your baby, it's not their business. And if it's not something you even care to discuss, don't engage in any conversation about it. If anyone asks, just say 'we're bottle feeding', if it goes further, just say you're not all that interested in discussing baby feeding and you're happy with what you are currently doing.

Not really. At least nothing that stood out. I may have heard an assumption here or there, but not a deliberate criticism.
I have 3 and nursed 3, but one of my twins had colic and other issues so I only nursed him a week or so. So I fed my babies both ways. I guess I'm fortunate to have never heard a cross word about either way{?}

While I agree that this is the choice of the mother and does not deserve judgement either way, in the OP's case she says she and her doctor made the decision that was best for her based on a pre-existing condition. Your dr. should have that noted on your chart and the nurses shouldn't say one word about it. All the judgey-judgey stuff is just too much.

Absolutely the nurses should not make comments, and please report them if they do.

I'm surprised that this may be an issue in the hospital. In my hospital there were so many formula samples pushed and made available, and even in my first ped's office. We didn't get the hang of bfing right away so for a few feedings in the hospital we used the formula and not one nurse seemed to bat an eye outwardly to me.

After you get out of the hospital, if you should encounter anyone annoying enough to outwardly judge how you feed your baby, please let whatever they say roll off your back. You know what's right for you and your baby and that's all that matters.

Congratulations and good luck with your new arrival!

This is a decision that was made by you and your doctor because of a health issue you had. The nurses should be reported if they say things like this! I wouldn't worry about that one bit. Just concentrate on your little one and know you are doing what is best for you and your baby. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy !

Originally Posted by glistenpearls

I did get some negative comments, saying something like my technique could be wrong, I didn't try hard enough, I chose a wrong lactation consultant and so on. I got about 4 different nurses while I stayed in hospital for 4 nights, only one being real negative. The rests didn't really making any comments (not in front of me at least). I'd like to think myself pretty thick but it did bother me at first, but not anymore because it's truly none of their business. You are the mother, you do what best for you and your baby. To be honest, I think it's rude to make comments when nobody ask their opinions. Don't be so hard on yourself, everything will be ok! I saw your blog, cute bump by the way, congratulations!

Aw. Thank you!

And thank you for your support. I don't want to stress myself out for nothing, but I am trying to mentally prepare myself for possible negativity.

Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate all of your comments. Several local friends have mentioned that the nurses were quite pushy with them which was upsetting to them. My condition should be noted in my chart, so hopefully, I won't have to defend myself.

These are just the things that I worry about in the night when I am up to pee a million times!

Great advice given already so no need to repeat myself!

I just wanted to say that I hope you're having a wonderful pregnancy thus far.

Originally Posted by meluvs2shop

Great advice given already so no need to repeat myself! I just wanted to say that I hope you're having a wonderful pregnancy thus far.

Thanks so much!

I have Lupus, but it hasn't affected me at all so far. In fact, I feel great! Even though women with Lupus breastfeed just fine most of the time, my doctor and I talked it out for a long time and agreed that in my case, bottle is best. I was bottle fed myself, and I didn't turn out totally crazy.

My neice has lupus too and she has 3 wonderful children that were not BF.

My baby was born small and then dropped another 9 percent of her body weight in hospital so the nurses were actually pushing for formula so hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised by their reactions. All that should matter is your and baby's health!

^ Thank you. I agree.

Originally Posted by meluvs2shop

My neice has lupus too and she has 3 wonderful children that were not BF.

That is very encouraging! Just another reason why I love this forum. All of the ladies are so sweet and supportive. Thanks, girls!

I think this obsession with BF is a bit much. Actually there are some recent articles on it where feminists argue that is it a negative thing because of the pressure it puts on moms and only moms especially with respect to their jobs. I stopped BF shortly after starting work because my office door has no lock and I I didn't want to deal with it. Nurses were incredibly pushy and ridiculous in my experience sorry to say.

On another note my DH saw something on tv where BF might not be as good for babies as people think because toxins are taken from the mom's body and go into the milk that is fed to the baby! Anyways I wasn't breast fed and I turned out just fine.