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Were you criticized for bottle feeding?


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Jun 6, 2012, 1:30pm   #16
Swanky Mama Of Three's Avatar
It's like anything else, people always think THEIR decision is the best and some people are just so self unaware that they push their beliefs on everyone else.
We all just have to do what's best for US *&^% everyone else

Congrats on your pregnancy cosmo, you look adorable!!
Jun 6, 2012, 1:42pm   #17
HauteMama's Avatar
Member
^ Agreed. There is no need to put down or to point out possible "dangers" with either method of feeding. It isn't a zero sum game, and babies fed either way (or both!) can be healthy and happy. A person's choices are valid without resorting to criticizing the choices of others.
Jun 6, 2012, 2:40pm   #18
G
Member
Don't stress about others' judgments. You know what you're doing is best for you and your baby. I find most of the judgments about mothering I've gotten are from older women that are old enough to be grandmothers, of course that may just be where I live. One older lady told my friend that her son's socks were too tight, no kidding. Another lady told me that my daughter was cold because we were walking through the refrigerated aisle at the grocery store, but it was 95 degrees outside. I told her, "she's fine" and moved on.

I bf but I worry about people judging me because I'm still bf-ing my daughter at 15 months. I have a friend that didn't bf at all and she said the hospital staff treated her fine, it probably depends on where you deliver. Good luck with the hospital staff being understanding and congratulations!
Jun 6, 2012, 2:51pm   #19
l
Member
I think the hospital staff is only as pushy as you'd allow them to. The hospital staff at my hospital did pressure me a bit about trying to breastfeed, etc, but that was because we had told them beforehand that we wanted to try breastfeeding as much as possible. I remember the conversation about breastfeeding was always prefaced with "are you bottle feeding or breastfeeding?" They wanted to help and send in a lactation consultant if I wanted to try breastfeeding. Which they did. Towards the end of the hospital stay, my son had a jaundice but I wasn't producing enough milk for him to eat and have a bowel movement. So at that point I decided to give him formula since the dangers of jaundice clearly outweighed benefits of breastfeeding at that point. The first nurse was clearly disappionted because she was coaching me and etc through the process, but brought the formula for us. The subsequent nurses had no issues whatsoever with bottle feeding. I continued breastfeeding later on by myself.
Jun 6, 2012, 3:52pm   #20
emxowm's Avatar
Member
There is an initiative in hospitals now called "Baby Friendly". These hospitals can be very forceful about breadtfeeding and even make moms sign a waiver in order for babies to receive formula. Not sure if you are delivering at a baby friendly hospital or one that is pursuing that status, but it sounds like you, DH and your physician are well prepared to have that discussion with staff if you need to. Good luck and don't let anyone make you feel badly for yor decision...you know what is best for you and your baby!
Jun 6, 2012, 5:30pm   #21
cosmogrl5's Avatar
Thread Starter
Member
Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three
It's like anything else, people always think THEIR decision is the best and some people are just so self unaware that they push their beliefs on everyone else.
We all just have to do what's best for US *&^% everyone else

Congrats on your pregnancy cosmo, you look adorable!!
Thank you!

I think that whole "breast is best" slogan can just make women feel like they are doing their baby a disservice by bottle feeding. If only something clever rhymed with bottle, I'd start a new slogan!
Jun 6, 2012, 8:07pm   #22
Swanky Mama Of Three's Avatar
Well we went through a phase where it wasn't a "popular" choice. In fact it was almost frowned upon. People can still be really judgmental about nursing moms, so I think that's why the big campaign. To try and get people to accept by appealing to them somehow.
Jun 6, 2012, 9:46pm   #23
IBleedOrange's Avatar
I Bleed Orange
Originally Posted by cosmogrl5
Thank you!

I think that whole "breast is best" slogan can just make women feel like they are doing their baby a disservice by bottle feeding. If only something clever rhymed with bottle, I'd start a new slogan!
You're "Mom" and you know what's best for your baby. Coddle, doddle, toddle, and waddle all rhyme with bottle, but I've got nuttin' clever as far as rhymes go. My LO was going through 120 oz of formula a day his first couples months... even if I had super-boobs, I never could've kept up. He's now 8 months, 26 pounds, and healthy as could be.

I guess part of being a mom is dealing with everyone else's advice. If it's not bottle-feeding, it'd be something else (whaaaa?! Disposable diapers, you say?! )
Jun 6, 2012, 11:20pm   #24
twinkle.tink's Avatar
Choose to be happy
I think you're very smart to prepare yourself mentally for the possibility and so wise to enlist your husband's help.

While I was in the hospital with DS #3, the lady next to me was having a horrible time. She was just wiped, the baby was wiped and after trying for 3 days she made a hard decision to at least try and break her (& the baby's) frustration with a bottle and then try again. I listened to her when she wanted to talk, her husband and friends listened. It was very disappointing to her, but after many tears and hand wringing she was finally OK with her decision...and then when she told the nurse and held her ground, the nurse reduced her to a sobbing mess with a 10 minute lecture including telling her that giving her baby formula was like giving him McDonalds and she should be ashamed for giving up so easily and poisoning her baby...it was at that point, I got up and went and found the nursing supervisor...

Please, do not let any body make you feel badly for making a decision about what is best for you and your baby.

Many good wishes for a speedy & easy delivery and happy & healthy baby and mom :)
Jun 7, 2012, 7:04am   #25
A
Member
I breastfed for 3 mos, then pumped for a month while supplementing with formula, and then stopped completely at 4. I think I had to supplement with formula starting at 6 weeks due to returning to work and not being able to keep up with pumping. So, I have done both, and I was okay with all of my decisions I had to make along the way and I didn't really have anyone give me a hard time about stopping BF. My son was a NICU baby so BF was a nice way to give to him and help him as much as I could, and was also a way to bond with him while he was in the NICU. The lactation consultants really encouraged pumping, and I was able to do just breastmilk while he was there.

I think you have a very clear reason not to BF, thus should feel okay with that if people do ask....everyone's situation is different. And I think it is okay, too, for those that make the decision not to BF at all even when they don't have a specific reason. I do sometimes wish those people would try a little bit harder so the baby could have a few weeks of breastmilk, as that has been studied to be very beneficial for them. But I don't judge them about it, as formula contains so many good things...they try to duplicate breastmilk as best as they can.
Jun 7, 2012, 4:15pm   #26
meluvs2shop's Avatar
In Love
Originally Posted by cosmogrl5
Thank you!

I think that whole "breast is best" slogan can just make women feel like they are doing their baby a disservice by bottle feeding. If only something clever rhymed with bottle, I'd start a new slogan!
you look adorable at your halfway mark! i was already a rolie polie at the halfway mark!
Jun 7, 2012, 9:30pm   #27
kmroboto's Avatar
Member
Originally Posted by IBleedOrange

I guess part of being a mom is dealing with everyone else's advice. If it's not bottle-feeding, it'd be something else (whaaaa?! Disposable diapers, you say?! )
This is soooo true. It's always something. Don't worry about what may or may not be said. Most people are very accepting and won't make assumptions much less actually criticize you. Plus, lots of breastfeeding moms supplement with formula and it's much easier to give baby a bottle in public so for all anyone knows you could be doing that. If people ask I think you should just tell them the truth. No, you don't have to but it's not necessarily that they want to judge you but instead just talk about how things are going. New moms talk about everything cause it's a good way to figure out how other people are handling all of the decisions that come with being a parent. As a new mom I wanted to commiserate with others because breastfeeding was so painful. I also wanted to know what brand of formula and bottles people used. I wanted to know what everyone else was doing!

Yes, breast milk is best for baby and the reason there is a huge campaign for it is because it's really hard and there isn't a good support network to help women with it. Less than 15% of moms are exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months in the US. Perhaps you're in an area where it's more common. Honestly you're doing what's best for your baby and a few weeks into it all no one will notice or think twice about it.
Jun 8, 2012, 8:36am   #28
LeeMiller's Avatar
Member
Ok I'm so over this whole BF obsession. People act ridiculous over it. It's not like your kid will have perfect health, happiness and go to Harvard because you breast fed! I personally think it has become another way for women to compete with other women. I didn't share with anyone what my plans were with respect to my baby and my body nor did I worry about what others did.
Jun 8, 2012, 10:08am   #29
Chantilly0379's Avatar
Cajun Mama
Originally Posted by cosmogrl5
Hi Ladies!

I am expecting my first baby (a boy) at the end of October. Due to a pre-existing health issue, my doctor and I agreed that I shouldn't breast feed. I was a little disappointed at first, but I am comfortable with my decision now. The only thing is that I am worried about constantly having to handle judgment from other people.

I've already been warned that the nurses at the hospital will tell me that I am a bad mother for bottle feeding (though DH promised to deal with them).

Did you receive negative comments? If so, how did you deal with them?

TIA!
It all boils down to this, your Dr is suggesting you NOT b/c of HEALTH reasons, so there should be no issue.

I can understand the nurses pushing bf, b/c it is great for the baby.

I can also understand your disappointment at first b/c bf is a bonding experience w your baby, but as you said YOUR comfortable with your decision and that's all that matters.

I had to start supplementing after 4 months & had to completely stop after 6 b/c of the lack of milk production, I didn't like it ,but after I seen DS was ok with it & he was just as healthy on the formula as he was on the breast milk, then I was ok.

I was harder on myself than anyone else b/c NO ONE in my family ever breastfeed & they just couldn't believe I was doing it. I actually go some negativity for BF instead of bottle feeding, people will always have something to say when you're not doing things the way they think it should be done.

Don't worry about anyone elses opinions, when your baby arrives just enjoy the precious time you have while their still a baby b/c it goes by so fast.
Jun 8, 2012, 12:21pm   #30
mammabyrdie's Avatar
May The Force Be....
You'll get criticized no matter what you do. People who like to talk $h!+ will always talk $h!+. I was criticized for nursing all of my babies for over a year, in some cases about 2 years. What works best for you and your family is between you and your family. Don't concern yourself with anyone else.

I love the pics on your blog!
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