Stop, thief!!

[merika]

My DS has a few playmates who are our neighbours and they usually play outside in the evenings. A parent watches them. There are some other kids who live a little further down the street and they come by and join the kids too.

One of the kids who turns up and joins the play sessions steals things. All the other kids like to bring their toys outside - hot wheels, transformers, webkinz- and this stuff goes missing. It is always this one particular kid who is the culprit. Telling his mother or asking for the toys back doesn't work. She just denies everything and says "He's a good boy". This kid sometimes picks up the little kids' toys, sticks them in his pockets and runs away. The next day he turns up ready to play like nothing happened.

The play area is an open parklike area (and not someone's yard) so it's difficult to restrict that particular kid from joining the others' play. Today the mom in charge was a large and intimidating Ghanian lady who told him to turn his pockets out before he went home because the kids were complaining that their toys were missing. (Moms of different nationalities oversee the kids and parenting styles are quite different depending on cultures) She found three toys belonging to other kids stuffed in his pants pockets. He went home crying that he'd tell his mom and "she'd tell the police on you".

Does anyone have any idea of what we should do? As a precaution I don't let my DS take his toys outside, but there are other kids who do, and it seems to be a shame to deprive them just because of this boy. This is a problem a group of us are facing so I'd appreciate some helpful hints on how to deal.

Thanks!!

[twin53]

wait and see what happens tomorrow with that particular boy. either he's learned his lesson or his mom will have something to say. or maybe they won't even be there anymore. sometimes all it takes is for someone to grab the bull by the horns so to speak. i'm glad the other mom called out his bad behavior. better to learn some shame now than later. his mom needs a few lessons in honesty too.

[BagsAreMyBabies]

^^I agree, but keep us posted. I am curious to know how this turns out.

[merika]

I am waiting to see what will happen too. The woman who told the kid to turn his pants out - her husband is a student here - and she was worried that the kid might say something like she threatened him or attacked him or similar if his mom really decides to inform the police.

[kimberf]

Maybe it's not a bad idea for all the moms to take that same approach, given that his own mom won't do anything about it. After a couple of times, he'll probably get the message that he's not going to be able to get away with it anymore, or he'll stop playing with them (hopefully the former). I know it would be hard to do to a little kid, but it's better than having all the other kids lose their toys!

[twin53]

the accusing mother has nothing to worry about. she didn't turn his pockets out - she never touched him. and it wasn't threatening. plus she has the other moms as witnesses. the only mom who should be worried is the boy's mom. keep us updated.

[ilovepinkhearts]

i think that maybe i wouldn't single him out...have all the kids look in their pockets and make sure they have only their toys. make it a new rule, and make it fun if possible. you mom's will know it's to be sure that the lil thief isn't once again running home with a pocket full of booty. but that way the other kids don't see him being singled out and it doesn't make him feel like a naughty boy [though he is]

[Adriane]

Yes he is a naughty little boy who steals from his playmates. He should be singled out and made to feel bad about what he's done. Maybe shaming him will stop him from stealing in the future.

[ilovepinkhearts]

or maybe shaming a young child will only make it worse....

i know that my children have brought home a toy that didn't belong to them by mistake. so we were sure to return it to them as soon as we saw them again.

and yes he is doing this on purpose, it's not a mistake. his mother doesn't seem to care or think that her little boy could do such a thing. so if me suggesting that you have all the kids look in their pockets was out of line, then the moms need to write his mother a letter, or confront her. and let her know that you all have seen him stealing and that one of you even made him turn out his pockets and then return the toys that he had taken. and tell her if he wants to play with the rest of them that he needs to have someone in his family to supervise him and be sure that he doesn't make it home with other kids toys.

[AlohaGirl01]

Good for the mom who told him to turn his pockets out....enough is enough! I often have to be the mom who does this and I don't care. I've had to stop fights between the older boys who rough-house way to close to the younger kids at the park. If you don't want your children getting hurt or stolen from, it always good to firmly tell the other child to stop or at least let the other mom know and have her do it.

[merika]

Update: He wasn't around today. Maybe yesterday's lesson hit home. It was a much easier play session because there were very few disagreements and toys did not go missing.

We'll see how things continue....he's bound to turn up sooner or later and I'm interested in his behavior then. Thanks for your support and advice!!

[Nola]

Oh Merika wha a pain, that's such an annoying situation, let us know if it truly worked. Maybe the mother finally saw that he had in fact been stealing.

Similar thing happened when I was in school, on first grade; there was a boy who would go through kids jacket pockets. I saw him do it once and said "your being stupid" and after that nothing seemed to go missing.

[twin53]

thanks for the update. i hope he learned his lesson.... same for his mom.

[ilovepinkhearts]

well that is good news! hope it stays that way.

[HaydenM]

How old is the boy? If he is old enough to rationalize, I would tell him as a parent that he is not welcomed to play with the other kids unless he respects the other kids' toys.