Sorry for posting ... am feeling miserable.. just have to vent out :(

mishaagui · Jul 9th, 2008, 10:24 PM

Hi everyone,
I finally had the nerve to take a picture of myself & was very unhappy with what i saw... After 9 months since i gave birth, i've realized that i have not yet lost any of the baby weight i gained.. infact i am bigger now than i was when i was pregnant & i am really depressed 'coz everyone i know who gave birth at the same time as i did .. have lost half if not all of the weight they gained during pregnancy...
I cannot go on a major diet as i am still exclusively pumping & have noticed that my supply would go down if i missed a meal or 2. I've tried exercising - but sometimes i just get soo tired from working, pumping, taking care of my son (& husband) - that i would rather rest then get out of bed..

Upon staring at myself.. i've realized that i have forgotten to take care of myself.. physically & it is now affecting me emotionally & mentally...

I love being a 1st time mom, I love my son with all my life.. but i don't like how i am feeling right now..

Am i being selfish/vain for feeling this way???

....

Thanks for listening.

kimberf · Jul 9th, 2008, 10:48 PM

You're not being selfish or vain at all. You have every right to feel the way you do. I've definitely been a little surprised how hard it is to take off the weight (I'm 4 months post-partum today.) I had a friend's wedding to go to a few weeks ago, and I was a little depressed about how I looked and my choices for what to wear, to the point that (I hate to admit this), I let it diminish my enjoyment of the wedding, which I shouldn't have done. It's just hard to be patient with myself.

I know you can't go on a major diet, but maybe there are small things you can do, like making sure you're eating healthily. And can you work in some exercise during the day -- maybe enlist a friend at work to go walk with you at lunchtime? Then it's at a time where you aren't taking time away from family and hopefully won't be too tired. Or try going for a family walk in the evening.

Remember that taking time for yourself is important - a happy mommy makes a happy baby. You're taking care of all of you, so don't feel guilty about it!!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jul 9th, 2008, 11:53 PM

have you seen a Doc?
A lot of women actually have thyroid problems after having a baby.
If you are't overeating and you're nursing/pumping you SHOULD BE losing weight.
Simple math.
But if you have a thyroid problem or another issue it can totally slow it all down.
I'd run and get it tested ASAP if I were you. . . it could also improve your energy levels and mood.

HauteMama · Jul 10th, 2008, 12:00 AM

Rest levels often affect milk production as much as diet. While I realize it is NOT easy to get adequate rest with a baby, if there is any way you can improve your sleep schedule it might help more than you imagine, both with production and weight loss. As for diet, try eating fewer calories of high nutrition value foods more often. Keeping a food journal can help you keep track of how much and how often you eat. My mommy brain easily forgets things, and I have to write everything down or I will forget or lose track!

And I agree with Swanky. Go to the dr. and have your thyroid checked. Thyroid problems are very common after having a baby.

PurseFanatic · Jul 10th, 2008, 12:17 AM

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. It is extremely difficult to get started but if you just start walking a little every day, by yourself, you will gain so much energy in about a weeks time. Plus you will have very valuable alone time to clear your head.

mishaagui · Jul 10th, 2008, 12:26 AM

To Kimberf, Swanky Mama & Haute Mama, PurseFanatic - Thank you soooo much for listening, for your reassuring words & for your suggestions...(It is so nice to hear from other moms...) Will go visit a Dr,will look into what i eat & plan how i can add more activities into my day... hopefully things will be better..
Never thought, being a mommy can be this overwhelming & to think I'm just on my 9th month...
Again, Thank you!

kimberf · Jul 10th, 2008, 02:22 PM

One other thought -- are there any moms' groups or activities, like a playgroup for children your DS's age you could join? As you say, it's soooo helpful having other moms, especially with babies about your age to talk to. I go to one for moms of 3-6 month olds once a week, and we hang out for literally three hours after the session ends to talk. We've all started getting together ourselves a second day each week because it's so helpful, and I definitely have some good friends in the group. We were just saying yesterday that it's so reassuring partly because we're all having a lot of the same problems, so you don't feel so isolated or like you're the "bad mom" for having some of the feelings you have. And every now & then, you'll hear something where you're like, "well, at least I don't have that issue!," which also makes you feel better.

KC1984 · Jul 10th, 2008, 04:45 PM

Don't feel bad about how your feeling, your hormones are probably still everywhere. Becomming a parent is a huge change it your life & you can feel lost at times. You just have to surround yourself with positive people.. You should speak to your dr. Try & see your friends & have a little you time XXX

ive_flipped · Jul 10th, 2008, 09:04 PM

Hang in there...I give you so much credit for still pumping that is a tough one and just that deserves major credit. It is so normal to feel the way you are and your not alone for sure.

And like a few of the girls have said there could be hormone or thyroid issues contributing to all your feelings too.

HUGZ

bhurry · Jul 12th, 2008, 06:34 PM

I know how you feel. Heck it's been 2 years since I've given birth and I'm still trying to lose that weight. Don't force yourself, do go to the doctors and find out if there's anything wrong with your thyroid. In my case though, the more I was worried about my weight, the more I gained. When I finally accepted that my body will take time to lose the weight, then I started to lose the weight. Take care and be good to yourself.

jen6292 · Jul 12th, 2008, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

have you seen a Doc?
A lot of women actually have thyroid problems after having a baby.
If you are't overeating and you're nursing/pumping you SHOULD BE losing weight.
Simple math.
But if you have a thyroid problem or another issue it can totally slow it all down.
I'd run and get it tested ASAP if I were you. . . it could also improve your energy levels and mood.

I have to agree. I would say to see a doc. After I had my kids I was having a hard time losing weight. Turned out I was extremely bloated and I magically became Lactose Intolerant! I now have allergies, lactose intolerance, and slower metabolism! (I have to work twice as hard to lose any weight)

Jul 9th, 2008, 10:24 PM	#1
mishaagui Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Asia Posts: 212	Hi everyone, I finally had the nerve to take a picture of myself & was very unhappy with what i saw... After 9 months since i gave birth, i've realized that i have not yet lost any of the baby weight i gained.. infact i am bigger now than i was when i was pregnant & i am really depressed 'coz everyone i know who gave birth at the same time as i did .. have lost half if not all of the weight they gained during pregnancy... I cannot go on a major diet as i am still exclusively pumping & have noticed that my supply would go down if i missed a meal or 2. I've tried exercising - but sometimes i just get soo tired from working, pumping, taking care of my son (& husband) - that i would rather rest then get out of bed.. Upon staring at myself.. i've realized that i have forgotten to take care of myself.. physically & it is now affecting me emotionally & mentally... I love being a 1st time mom, I love my son with all my life.. but i don't like how i am feeling right now.. Am i being selfish/vain for feeling this way???.... Thanks for listening.

Jul 9th, 2008, 11:53 PM	#3
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 30,248	have you seen a Doc? A lot of women actually have thyroid problems after having a baby. If you are't overeating and you're nursing/pumping you SHOULD BE losing weight. Simple math. But if you have a thyroid problem or another issue it can totally slow it all down. I'd run and get it tested ASAP if I were you. . . it could also improve your energy levels and mood. __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jul 10th, 2008, 12:17 AM	#5
PurseFanatic Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,669	I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. It is extremely difficult to get started but if you just start walking a little every day, by yourself, you will gain so much energy in about a weeks time. Plus you will have very valuable alone time to clear your head. __________________ My sweetie's latest ultrasound pic It's a girl!!

Jul 10th, 2008, 09:04 PM	#9
ive_flipped In LVoe Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!! lol Posts: 1,137	Hang in there...I give you so much credit for still pumping that is a tough one and just that deserves major credit. It is so normal to feel the way you are and your not alone for sure. And like a few of the girls have said there could be hormone or thyroid issues contributing to all your feelings too. HUGZ __________________

Jul 9th, 2008, 10:48 PM	#2
kimberf Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,073	You're not being selfish or vain at all. You have every right to feel the way you do. I've definitely been a little surprised how hard it is to take off the weight (I'm 4 months post-partum today.) I had a friend's wedding to go to a few weeks ago, and I was a little depressed about how I looked and my choices for what to wear, to the point that (I hate to admit this), I let it diminish my enjoyment of the wedding, which I shouldn't have done. It's just hard to be patient with myself. I know you can't go on a major diet, but maybe there are small things you can do, like making sure you're eating healthily. And can you work in some exercise during the day -- maybe enlist a friend at work to go walk with you at lunchtime? Then it's at a time where you aren't taking time away from family and hopefully won't be too tired. Or try going for a family walk in the evening. Remember that taking time for yourself is important - a happy mommy makes a happy baby. You're taking care of all of you, so don't feel guilty about it!!

Jul 10th, 2008, 12:00 AM	#4
HauteMama Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,845	Rest levels often affect milk production as much as diet. While I realize it is NOT easy to get adequate rest with a baby, if there is any way you can improve your sleep schedule it might help more than you imagine, both with production and weight loss. As for diet, try eating fewer calories of high nutrition value foods more often. Keeping a food journal can help you keep track of how much and how often you eat. My mommy brain easily forgets things, and I have to write everything down or I will forget or lose track! And I agree with Swanky. Go to the dr. and have your thyroid checked. Thyroid problems are very common after having a baby.

Jul 10th, 2008, 12:26 AM	#6
mishaagui Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Asia Posts: 212	To Kimberf, Swanky Mama & Haute Mama, PurseFanatic - Thank you soooo much for listening, for your reassuring words & for your suggestions...(It is so nice to hear from other moms...) Will go visit a Dr,will look into what i eat & plan how i can add more activities into my day... hopefully things will be better.. Never thought, being a mommy can be this overwhelming & to think I'm just on my 9th month... Again, Thank you!

Jul 10th, 2008, 02:22 PM	#7
kimberf Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,073	One other thought -- are there any moms' groups or activities, like a playgroup for children your DS's age you could join? As you say, it's soooo helpful having other moms, especially with babies about your age to talk to. I go to one for moms of 3-6 month olds once a week, and we hang out for literally three hours after the session ends to talk. We've all started getting together ourselves a second day each week because it's so helpful, and I definitely have some good friends in the group. We were just saying yesterday that it's so reassuring partly because we're all having a lot of the same problems, so you don't feel so isolated or like you're the "bad mom" for having some of the feelings you have. And every now & then, you'll hear something where you're like, "well, at least I don't have that issue!," which also makes you feel better.

Jul 10th, 2008, 04:45 PM	#8
KC1984 Member Joined: Mar 2008 Location: In my own little World Posts: 314	Don't feel bad about how your feeling, your hormones are probably still everywhere. Becomming a parent is a huge change it your life & you can feel lost at times. You just have to surround yourself with positive people.. You should speak to your dr. Try & see your friends & have a little you time XXX

Jul 12th, 2008, 06:34 PM	#10
bhurry Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,237	I know how you feel. Heck it's been 2 years since I've given birth and I'm still trying to lose that weight. Don't force yourself, do go to the doctors and find out if there's anything wrong with your thyroid. In my case though, the more I was worried about my weight, the more I gained. When I finally accepted that my body will take time to lose the weight, then I started to lose the weight. Take care and be good to yourself.