Raising three children

babyhart · Jan 2nd, 2008, 07:05 PM

Hi, I guess I'm looking for advice on how to cope with raising three kids. There are moments where I think I have everything together, and moments where I'm just overwhelmed by the chaos. My children are under the age of 5. I guess I'm feeling like this b/c we just got back from spending the holidays in our second home in LA, where they were able to run around outside; it was just much more relaxing. But we now that we're back in our freezing cold NY, where we now have to stay indoors all day, I'm feeling claustrophobic and wondering how to keep my kids stimulated for the winter.

My 5 year old goes to kindergarten, my 3 year old goes to preschool three morns a week, and my 1 year old sticks with me the whole day. I do get some reprieve when the older two go to school, but no matter what I'm doing something child related 24/7. It's great when the three play together, i love those moments. My hubbie comes home in the evening to feed them and put them to sleep, so that I can go to the gym to get out my stress. So I can't complain about that.

My friends are amazed that I do have 3 kids and raising them as a SAHM; they claim I'm doing a great job, to which I am flattered, especially since you don't hear a lot of compliments in this motherhood job. I do want to get back into the work field, but I am not keen on doing it now since my kids are so young and I can't back these moments. So for another year, I'm staying at home.

I know it's all about positive attitude, but for those moms who are raising more than 2, how do you cope with not having a social life and the chaos? thx for reading!

Sarsi · Jan 2nd, 2008, 07:58 PM

I'll be having my third child soon too and I got a 2 and 3 yr old girls...
I'm also a stay at home mom... I do understand what you are going through....
It's hard... not having a social life and having to deal with the chaos all day...
but I keep telling myself that... "THIS TOO SHALL PASS...."
I'm phychologically preparing myself for the new baby...
I know its gonna be very hard but I also know that its not a permanent situation...
They will grow up soon

we just have to hang in there for abit while more...

Cant tell you much... as I am also in this situation...

Take care....

Marydoright · Jan 4th, 2008, 01:34 AM

(((HUGS)))

I have 4 children now, but many moons ago, I had 3 in diapers...ages 3,2 and newborn.

Staying at home, and being a caretaker 24/7 can be draining, and not even just physically, its more emotionally and physiologically. Remember, that you NEED to pamper yourself, even if that means locking yourself in the bathroom every night for 30 minutes and taking a bubble bath. Heck, even shaving your legs at times can feel like a luxury! hahahaaa

I know it is hard to find sitters as well, but try to get someone, at least once a month to come sit for a night so you can go out. Eating in peace does amazing things for the soul, let me tell ya!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:41 AM

I SOO feel you!

I'm a SAHM and have a 6 yr old and twin 3.5 yr old boys and it's really hard! My boys just started 2.5 days/week program and I'm really noticing how much better I feel having some alone time.

Do you have family nearby?

Selena · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:55 AM

My kids are bit older now, 6, 13, 13 but I think you need to just do what I did, tell yourself it sucks. Its going to suck for a while then you need to find sometime for yourself. Even if its only an hour a week. Can your husband watch the kids on the weekend for say 2 hours? Get out, even if its just to sit in your car and do NOTHING. Go to a coffee shop with a book, get your nails done, anything that relaxes you. Hope things ease up for you. :)

cjj · Jan 4th, 2008, 03:18 PM

I am in a similiar situation though my two older ones are in school all day and the 19 month old is home with me. I am in grad school and work part-time; though those hours are never set as I work in the counseling field w/regards to domestic violence and abuse. I have NO ONE to help me. All my girlfriends are back in the workforce and my schedule it tight, very tight. Add to that an child w/special needs and, well, stress is too common.

For me, understanding that I made this choice is very important. That it is also very important to my children helps me too. I walk early in the morning and I take the baby everywhere I go. True "alone time" is not part of my life; but nor is it for DH. When he comes home, I have to hit the books or go to classes or work. We are a team and we MUST work together or else.

I guess I really don't have any answers.

I have good days, bad days and horrible days; we all do, if we're honest with ourselves and each other. Know that you are not alone, know that you are doing, I believe, the MOST important job there is. And know (as I'm sure you do) that this time will SPEED by; too quickly (not that it seems that way when things are going wrong though, lol). Enjoy the little things; watching life through the eyes of your child. A bubble bath. A cuddle with them on a cold, rainy night. Going for a walk.... alone. Reading during a nap.

I do want to add this: don't worry about the dust bunnies. Don't worry about the house being spotless. When I finally (and it was HARD!!!!) stopped needing my home to look perfect, life got better FAST. I can either do this...... or clean. "This" may be a one time thing, but cleaning the house will ALWAYS be there. It helped, it really did.

Hugs to you. Hugs to us all!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jan 4th, 2008, 04:11 PM

do you guys have those fun drop in playcenters there?
We have 2 near me and my kids love them. They're like big enclosed play structures w/ babysitters. It's hourly so Mom's can get shopping done or volunteer at the older kids' schools, etc. . . .
Once a week for 2 hours may be right up your alley!

cjj · Jan 4th, 2008, 04:31 PM

We did have 3 of them. Until..... a child was sexually abused by one of the "sitters". That specific franchise was NOT owned by the same woman who owned the other two, but once it was known, her business basically disappeared. I agree, my children loved going there (this was before I had my last one). Many of us keep hoping she will re-open, but I doubt she will.

Christine · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:15 PM

My sister has 3 under 3 years of age. She's whacked due to the stress and kids. Not sure how anyone really deals... lol. Her nanny does not seem to be of help either.

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:24 PM

^wha? Her nanny isn't any good?
My ex-Nanny is what kept me sane!!! She left because she's pregnant but I had her for close to 2 years and I am not sure I could've lived w/o her!!!
Your Sis needs to cut her loose and if she's able to afford a Nanny she needs one that is amazing!

Christine · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

^wha? Her nanny isn't any good?
My ex-Nanny is what kept me sane!!! She left because she's pregnant but I had her for close to 2 years and I am not sure I could've lived w/o her!!!
Your Sis needs to cut her loose and if she's able to afford a Nanny she needs one that is amazing!

lol. My sister lives in NYC. Apparently all NYC'rs have nannies so good ones are hard to come by. Apparently, since they don't own a $1M apartment the pickings are slim.

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:41 PM

Christine · Jan 4th, 2008, 11:50 PM

Better luck in Dallas?

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jan 5th, 2008, 12:05 AM

for me? Yes! But I went through . . let me count. . . . 4 I think{?} before I found the one we kept for almost 2 yrs. She was FANTASTIC!!!

brimack · Jan 6th, 2008, 11:17 AM

Babyhart....do you live out in Long Island? If your familiar with the broadway mall they have a little indoor play area. I would take my little ones there to get a bit of a break of the routine when my oldest is in school. Also, sometimes walking around the mall and grabbing a pretzel works for me. It gets me to get out of the house and gives my little one a change of scenry.

Jan 2nd, 2008, 07:05 PM	#1
babyhart admire inspire Location: long island	Raising three children Hi, I guess I'm looking for advice on how to cope with raising three kids. There are moments where I think I have everything together, and moments where I'm just overwhelmed by the chaos. My children are under the age of 5. I guess I'm feeling like this b/c we just got back from spending the holidays in our second home in LA, where they were able to run around outside; it was just much more relaxing. But we now that we're back in our freezing cold NY, where we now have to stay indoors all day, I'm feeling claustrophobic and wondering how to keep my kids stimulated for the winter. My 5 year old goes to kindergarten, my 3 year old goes to preschool three morns a week, and my 1 year old sticks with me the whole day. I do get some reprieve when the older two go to school, but no matter what I'm doing something child related 24/7. It's great when the three play together, i love those moments. My hubbie comes home in the evening to feed them and put them to sleep, so that I can go to the gym to get out my stress. So I can't complain about that. My friends are amazed that I do have 3 kids and raising them as a SAHM; they claim I'm doing a great job, to which I am flattered, especially since you don't hear a lot of compliments in this motherhood job. I do want to get back into the work field, but I am not keen on doing it now since my kids are so young and I can't back these moments. So for another year, I'm staying at home. I know it's all about positive attitude, but for those moms who are raising more than 2, how do you cope with not having a social life and the chaos? thx for reading!

Jan 2nd, 2008, 07:58 PM	#2
Sarsi Member Location: Bay Area CA.	Re: Raising three children I'll be having my third child soon too and I got a 2 and 3 yr old girls... I'm also a stay at home mom... I do understand what you are going through.... It's hard... not having a social life and having to deal with the chaos all day... but I keep telling myself that... "THIS TOO SHALL PASS...." I'm phychologically preparing myself for the new baby... I know its gonna be very hard but I also know that its not a permanent situation... They will grow up soon we just have to hang in there for abit while more... Cant tell you much... as I am also in this situation... Take care.... __________________ SARSI

Jan 4th, 2008, 01:34 AM	#3
Marydoright Member Location: Michigander	Re: Raising three children (((HUGS))) I have 4 children now, but many moons ago, I had 3 in diapers...ages 3,2 and newborn. Staying at home, and being a caretaker 24/7 can be draining, and not even just physically, its more emotionally and physiologically. Remember, that you NEED to pamper yourself, even if that means locking yourself in the bathroom every night for 30 minutes and taking a bubble bath. Heck, even shaving your legs at times can feel like a luxury! hahahaaa I know it is hard to find sitters as well, but try to get someone, at least once a month to come sit for a night so you can go out. Eating in peace does amazing things for the soul, let me tell ya!

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:41 AM	#4
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: Raising three children I SOO feel you! I'm a SAHM and have a 6 yr old and twin 3.5 yr old boys and it's really hard! My boys just started 2.5 days/week program and I'm really noticing how much better I feel having some alone time. Do you have family nearby? __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jan 4th, 2008, 03:18 PM	#6
cjj Member	Re: Raising three children I am in a similiar situation though my two older ones are in school all day and the 19 month old is home with me. I am in grad school and work part-time; though those hours are never set as I work in the counseling field w/regards to domestic violence and abuse. I have NO ONE to help me. All my girlfriends are back in the workforce and my schedule it tight, very tight. Add to that an child w/special needs and, well, stress is too common. For me, understanding that I made this choice is very important. That it is also very important to my children helps me too. I walk early in the morning and I take the baby everywhere I go. True "alone time" is not part of my life; but nor is it for DH. When he comes home, I have to hit the books or go to classes or work. We are a team and we MUST work together or else. I guess I really don't have any answers. I have good days, bad days and horrible days; we all do, if we're honest with ourselves and each other. Know that you are not alone, know that you are doing, I believe, the MOST important job there is. And know (as I'm sure you do) that this time will SPEED by; too quickly (not that it seems that way when things are going wrong though, lol). Enjoy the little things; watching life through the eyes of your child. A bubble bath. A cuddle with them on a cold, rainy night. Going for a walk.... alone. Reading during a nap. I do want to add this: don't worry about the dust bunnies. Don't worry about the house being spotless. When I finally (and it was HARD!!!!) stopped needing my home to look perfect, life got better FAST. I can either do this...... or clean. "This" may be a one time thing, but cleaning the house will ALWAYS be there. It helped, it really did. Hugs to you. Hugs to us all!

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:55 AM	#5
Selena	Re: Raising three children My kids are bit older now, 6, 13, 13 but I think you need to just do what I did, tell yourself it sucks. Its going to suck for a while then you need to find sometime for yourself. Even if its only an hour a week. Can your husband watch the kids on the weekend for say 2 hours? Get out, even if its just to sit in your car and do NOTHING. Go to a coffee shop with a book, get your nails done, anything that relaxes you. Hope things ease up for you. :) __________________

Jan 4th, 2008, 04:11 PM	#7
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: Raising three children do you guys have those fun drop in playcenters there? We have 2 near me and my kids love them. They're like big enclosed play structures w/ babysitters. It's hourly so Mom's can get shopping done or volunteer at the older kids' schools, etc. . . . Once a week for 2 hours may be right up your alley! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jan 4th, 2008, 04:31 PM	#8
cjj Member	Re: Raising three children We did have 3 of them. Until..... a child was sexually abused by one of the "sitters". That specific franchise was NOT owned by the same woman who owned the other two, but once it was known, her business basically disappeared. I agree, my children loved going there (this was before I had my last one). Many of us keep hoping she will re-open, but I doubt she will.

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:15 PM	#9
Christine Back in 5 minutes..	Re: Raising three children My sister has 3 under 3 years of age. She's whacked due to the stress and kids. Not sure how anyone really deals... lol. Her nanny does not seem to be of help either.

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:24 PM	#10
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: Raising three children ^wha? Her nanny isn't any good? My ex-Nanny is what kept me sane!!! She left because she's pregnant but I had her for close to 2 years and I am not sure I could've lived w/o her!!! Your Sis needs to cut her loose and if she's able to afford a Nanny she needs one that is amazing! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:41 PM	#12
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: Raising three children __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jan 4th, 2008, 11:50 PM	#13
Christine Back in 5 minutes..	Re: Raising three children Better luck in Dallas?

Jan 5th, 2008, 12:05 AM	#14
Swanky Mama Of Three Location: Dallas Area	Re: Raising three children for me? Yes! But I went through . . let me count. . . . 4 I think{?} before I found the one we kept for almost 2 yrs. She was FANTASTIC!!! __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jan 6th, 2008, 11:17 AM	#15
brimack Member	Re: Raising three children Babyhart....do you live out in Long Island? If your familiar with the broadway mall they have a little indoor play area. I would take my little ones there to get a bit of a break of the routine when my oldest is in school. Also, sometimes walking around the mall and grabbing a pretzel works for me. It gets me to get out of the house and gives my little one a change of scenry.