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Over 30, first child? ?

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Feb 12, 2006, 11:50am   #16
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Loganz
Meeko wants cake!
Originally Posted by Sunshine
PLease let me say that I in NO way meant that pregnancy = fat ***.... AT ALL. I have pics of 3 of my friends framed in thier 9 month glory. I simply meant that as I have always battled to keep myself at an 8 ...10 when its bad...I know for me that a I gain weight all over and the first thing to get fluffy is my bum....this is my personal deal. IN NO WAY did I mean anything else. It can be frustrating getting a point mistaken in a post. My apologies!!
Sunshine - I think we all knew what you meant, I did.

We all have our "area", totally normal to feel how you do.
Feb 12, 2006, 11:51am   #17
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Swanky Mama Of Three
Originally Posted by Sunshine
PLease let me say that I in NO way meant that pregnancy = fat ***.... AT ALL. I have pics of 3 of my friends framed in thier 9 month glory. I simply meant that as I have always battled to keep myself at an 8 ...10 when its bad...I know for me that a I gain weight all over and the first thing to get fluffy is my bum....this is my personal deal. IN NO WAY did I mean anything else. It can be frustrating getting a point mistaken in a post. My apologies!!
LOL! No worries!
I just think a lot of women assume pregnancy ends in a fat, frumpy Momma and I'm here to prove it's not true!

When people get away from the scariness of it, they often find it's the most amazing, beautiful thing that has ever happened to them. And the best part? Shopping for the right designer diaper bag!!!
Feb 12, 2006, 5:21pm   #18
e
essential
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I know a few ppl who had their first kid at age 40 or 41. I guess it's turning more into a norm now to have kids at an older age.
Feb 12, 2006, 6:52pm   #19
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chibifry
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Coming from the perspective of a non-mother, under 20 year old (shock) it would kind of suck to have a mother who is 35 years older than me. At age 10 my mother would already be 45 years old. At age 25 my mother would be 60!


Maybe its odd to say this, but its important to consider your potential child too - the later you have your child, the less time you will be able to spend with your child. If your child is 10 years old, at an age where she/he wants to spend the entire day at an amusement park and you're 45, and not in the shape to be walking around everywhere without rest.. then what fun will it be?
Feb 12, 2006, 6:56pm   #20
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pseub
Bonne vivante
Just FTR, our 8-yr old son burns out at Disneyland before we do. I'm 48 and my hubby is 46. Believe it or not, some of us hit 50 without needing a walker.

From the perspective of my child, it's a good thing I didn't have him when I was in my 20's. I was far too unstable and emotionally immature at that time in my life, as well as being in no shape financially to provide for him. Actually, women have been having kids into their 40's all along. It's only having the first child at a later age that's a newer trend.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:10pm   #21
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Irissy
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Well, I'm 26 and not planning to have my first child until I hit early 30s (although my mom might kick my ***) so I think it's perfectly acceptable to have children when you're over 30 even though I know it's like a taboo in certain culture.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:12pm   #22
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Noriko
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My aunt just had her first, and I believe she is 32-33 right now *yeah I'm horrible can't remember her exact age*. Seems like they are doing great.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:15pm   #23
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chibifry
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Originally Posted by pseub
Just FTR, our 8-yr old son burns out at Disneyland before we do. I'm 48 and my hubby is 46. Believe it or not, some of us hit 50 without needing a walker.

From the perspective of my child, it's a good thing I didn't have him when I was in my 20's. I was far too unstable and emotionally immature at that time in my life, as well as being in no shape financially to provide for him. Actually, women have been having kids into their 40's all along. It's only having the first child at a later age that's a newer trend.
I sense some sarcasm? I know that all women ~50 aren't the same. I don't see how that is the perspective of your child - thats the perspective of what you think your child would think when he is old enough to consider issues like this.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:27pm   #24
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I had my first child at 28. Not because I wanted to wait that long but everything happens for a reason. I was told by many doctors I wouldn't be able to have any ever. I happened to be lucky and only gained 22 lbs with both of mine and was able leave the hospial in clothes I wore pre-pregnancy. My sister had her first at 32 with no problems and is still chasing after a 10 year old now.

After what happened to be I believe no time is the right time. What is ment to be will be and no matter what age you have a child they are a blessing!
Feb 12, 2006, 7:29pm   #25
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ayla
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Originally Posted by Irissy
Well, I'm 26 and not planning to have my first child until I hit early 30s (although my mom might kick my ***) so I think it's perfectly acceptable to have children when you're over 30 even though I know it's like a taboo in certain culture.
Ha ! My mom is probably going to kick my *** too, she really wants those grandkids since all she has to do is spoil them !

My grandmother had children well into her 40s, but that was because the family really wanted a son (and they got one, after 8 girls !). Her health was poor though, and I'm sure there is much more medicine and pre-natal and post care for mother that could have helped her. I mean, you see all those crazy stories with the 60 year olds bringing healthy babies to term, you're half their age so what's to worry !
Feb 12, 2006, 7:32pm   #26
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Swanky Mama Of Three
Originally Posted by chibifry
I sense some sarcasm? I know that all women ~50 aren't the same. I don't see how that is the perspective of your child - thats the perspective of what you think your child would think when he is old enough to consider issues like this.
I didn't sense any sarcasm, just the truth: Not all women over 50 need a walker.

Quote:
If your child is 10 years old, at an age where she/he wants to spend the entire day at an amusement park and you're 45, and not in the shape to be walking around everywhere without rest.. then what fun will it be?
Well, honestly? Sheryl Crow is 44 yrs old and could kick my *ss when I was 20, 25 or now at 31! LOL!

I think it's possible your perspective is a little limited.
Do you think it's wiser for a woman to have babies in her 20's just becaause she's young? What about the Moms that are smart enough to grow a little when they KNOW they'd make a more suitable parent?

My parents were relatively young, and were total DUDS!
It's ALL ABOUT the individual.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:35pm   #27
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pseub
Bonne vivante
Yes, that was sarcasm. I felt it was an appropriate response. As far as making decisions from my child's point of view, I guess none of us can ever really do that. We can only evaluate what we feel is best for our children and for ourselves, and go from there. As someone who was once a child myself, I'd rather have stable, mature parents than the kind I grew up with, the squirrely kind of parent I would have been in my 20's.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:36pm   #28
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Serendipity
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Originally Posted by chibifry
Coming from the perspective of a non-mother, under 20 year old (shock) it would kind of suck to have a mother who is 35 years older than me. At age 10 my mother would already be 45 years old. At age 25 my mother would be 60!


Maybe its odd to say this, but its important to consider your potential child too - the later you have your child, the less time you will be able to spend with your child. If your child is 10 years old, at an age where she/he wants to spend the entire day at an amusement park and you're 45, and not in the shape to be walking around everywhere without rest.. then what fun will it be?
I am glad my friends Mom didn't feel like this at the age of 45 when she had her (change of life baby 1 of 6 kids). She has more fun with her Mom and more love for her than most kids have with a younger parent! I guess you can't always predict how you would feel until you are walking in those shoes.
Feb 12, 2006, 7:38pm   #29
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Serendipity
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Originally Posted by pseub
Yes, that was sarcasm. I felt it was an appropriate response. As far as making decisions from my child's point of view, I guess none of us can ever really do that. We can only evaluate what we feel is best for our children and for ourselves, and go from there. As someone who was once a child myself, I'd rather have stable, mature parents than the kind I grew up with, the squirrely kind of parent I would have been in my 20's.
And raising a teen now I say Amen!!!
Feb 12, 2006, 7:39pm   #30
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coco-nut
Addicted to H
Originally Posted by chibifry
Coming from the perspective of a non-mother, under 20 year old (shock) it would kind of suck to have a mother who is 35 years older than me. At age 10 my mother would already be 45 years old. At age 25 my mother would be 60!


Maybe its odd to say this, but its important to consider your potential child too - the later you have your child, the less time you will be able to spend with your child. If your child is 10 years old, at an age where she/he wants to spend the entire day at an amusement park and you're 45, and not in the shape to be walking around everywhere without rest.. then what fun will it be?
My housekeeper feels exactly the same way. Her mother had her at 19, and she had her first child at 20. Her daughter is 16 now, and seems dedicated to the idea of being a young mother too. So by the age at which I had my first child, she'll probably be a grandmother.

Personally, I would have felt as if I had missed out on the fun of youth if I had children before I was 35. But then, my mother had me at 38. She had lived in Paris, Tokyo, Hawaii and travelled to over forty countries by herself. She's now 83 and doing fine. I never felt as if I was deprived because she didn't last four quarters of a mother-daughter field hockey match. I appreciated more that she spent time with me and based on her experience, gave me insight into how to deal with a variety of people and situations at an early age.
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