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nycdiva · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:12 PM

I have had a nanny for three months and today out of no where she asks for us to put in writing the holidays she gets off and how many sick/personal days she has. When we interviewed her we told her that she would get the holidays that I got off. I am an anesthesiologist and I have to work certain holidays. The friday after thanksgiving is not considered a holiday and now she is pissed. Is it fair to make her work the holidays I work? We are also giving her three weeks paid vacation. I don't believe in sick time, since I don't want her to call in sick when she isn't. On the flip side, I don't want her to come in when she is really sick. I have never had a nanny before and I don't know what the norm is. I don't have family near by so I don't have a backup. I really don't know what to do.

missjenny2679 · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:28 PM

I have been a nanny for the same family for over 2 years now! Before I even started we put every thing we talked about...time off, vacation (which by the way you give her more than I get!) all in writing and signed it. I do not have "sick" days really. I went almost two years with out calling in sick. However, Oct. 12 I ended up in the ER because I was so sick...needless to say I missed work for two days. Honestly, your nanny is a person too.. and shes bound to get sick sometime. I was a preschool teacher for 12 years before I became a nanny, and I always had to work the Friday after Thanksgiving. A lot of people have to work the day after...so I think she is just going to have to suck that one up! I would suggest in the future putting everything in writing from day one so that every holiday and day off are clear from the get go

Let me know if I can help with anything else!

Jill · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:31 PM

^I agree..put it all in writing NOW so it is clear.
I dont beleive in sick time either BUT i think if she is caring for your sick child and CATCHES what our child has..I personally would STILL PAY HER.
KWIM?
I have a nanny...she was out sick with the flu for a week...but didnt get paid because she doesnt get sick time(and she didnt get it from us!LOL!)

Jill · Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:32 PM

PS-the day after Thanksgiving is NOT a paid holiday ANYWHERE i know of..she is milking you!LOL!

Junkenpo · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:28 PM

In Hawaii, we get a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving. The schools are always closed for Thanksgiving Day & the Friday after. Not that that means anything in OP's case, but I thought i'd throw that thought out there.

elizat · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:29 PM

^ Very similar w/ what I have experienced as well. I am in the legal field and I would say that 98% of firms are closed the day after Thanksgiving, with workers that are paid hourly receiving that as a holiday (salaried employees would not matter w/ that).

Jill · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:39 PM

^But she is a DOCTOR....if they had holidays off....where would all the sick people go??LOL.......
(My husband is a doctor and works holidays)
...and the nanny knew that when she signed on.....

VLH · Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:50 PM

not directly related - but im interested to know -
I dont have a nanny, my dd goes to childcare one day and grandmas one day.
if she is sick, i take the day off work and it is classified as carers leave and i get paid under my personal sick leave entitlements from my job. does this work the same in US?

sweetneet · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:38 AM

Originally Posted by VLH

not directly related - but im interested to know -
I dont have a nanny, my dd goes to childcare one day and grandmas one day.
if she is sick, i take the day off work and it is classified as carers leave and i get paid under my personal sick leave entitlements from my job. does this work the same in US?

it really depends on the employer/company. in the US, a lot of companies do not give sick days at all..if you get sick (or your child gets sick), then you have to use one of your vacation days to get the day off.

my DH thankfully works for a company that gives 12 (paid) sick days per year (one per month..pre-prego i always joked i could really use those sick days instead of him..LOL). on top of that, they allow you to take up to 3 (paid) days per year to take care of a sick person (child, spouse, elderly parent, etc). so that's potentially 15 days out of the year to be used as sick days or for caring for a sick person. however, i'm under the impression that this is somewhat unusual in the US. almost all the companies I"ve personally worked for in the US do not even give sick days, they just come straight out of your vacation days. the bad part of this is that as a result people are unwilling to stay home when they are sick and so colds/flu (esp in a cubicle-filled environment) are always going around.

olialm1 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:42 AM

How old is she? She probably just wants to shop the day after Thanksgiving (makes sense to me, I think that's Black Friday?)

My close friend was a nanny this summer and she was able to request days off but also has certain days off/vacation time that was set in stone when she was hired. I don't really see the need for sick days BUT if she is persistent then a few won't hurt IMO.

TallulahJane · Nov 3rd, 2009, 07:44 AM

Mostly from what I have experienced as a nanny/babysitter, is that families hire a nanny full time on weekdays and then hire an "occasional" babysitter for when they want to go out at night or weekends. This would also include the days your nanny can't work or is off. If you work weekends and you have a full time nanny 7 days a week, then that would not work.

vhdos · Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:29 AM

I agree that you need to get things in writing ASAP. Having a nanny is a lot of give and take and what makes one nanny happy, may not make another. You may have to give in a bit in an effort to keep her happy. Happy nanny=happy kids...

nycdiva · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:43 PM

Here is the problem. We are paying her under the table, and my husband the attorney refuses to acknowlede in writing what holidays she gets off because that would mean we were hiring someone illegally.
When I interviewed I had to make sure I picked someone flexible since I leave the hospital when my assigned cases are done. I also told her she would get any holiday I got off, off as well. My husbands office is closed on the Friday after Thanksgiving, but that doesnt mean he doesnt work. He got home from work at 6 am this morning. She doesn't understand that.
She keeps bringing up how she is a professional, but professionalism involves sacrifices. She wants more days off now and I don't know what to do. She asked about personal days too, and I remember talking about that during the interview and I said we werent giving any. I am willing to pay her if she misses one day for being sick, but not a week. Do most people give their nannies all the bank Holidays off? If my husband doesnt work on Black Friday then she wont have to either.
I just don't knoe what to do! My DD loves and I can tell by the way they interact. I am in no mood to be looking for another nanny at the moment. I have no friends with children, so I don't know who to ask these questions.

Bags4Bubbles · Nov 3rd, 2009, 02:12 PM

Ohhh... not good. That's a sticky situation. My step-sister & husband (both attorneys) have compensation & these things in writing, and I'm not sure if the Friday after Thanksgiving is a PAID holiday as a part of their nanny's contract as I've never really asked the nitty gritty of the situation - but it's definitely a holiday. Their nanny isn't working Thanksgiving or the day after.

I agree with vhdos, that if you're happy with your nanny - then I would figure out what it is going to take to keep her. I've watched my SS lose a good one (to an overseas move) and then have to try to find a "good" replacement and it was a nightmare... They're in a large metro area too, so you would think it would be easy to find one - but I think that is just the nature of it. GL!

mirdc · Nov 3rd, 2009, 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by nycdiva

Here is the problem. We are paying her under the table, and my husband the attorney refuses to acknowlede in writing what holidays she gets off because that would mean we were hiring someone illegally.
When I interviewed I had to make sure I picked someone flexible since I leave the hospital when my assigned cases are done. I also told her she would get any holiday I got off, off as well. My husbands office is closed on the Friday after Thanksgiving, but that doesnt mean he doesnt work. He got home from work at 6 am this morning. She doesn't understand that.
She keeps bringing up how she is a professional, but professionalism involves sacrifices. She wants more days off now and I don't know what to do. She asked about personal days too, and I remember talking about that during the interview and I said we werent giving any. I am willing to pay her if she misses one day for being sick, but not a week. Do most people give their nannies all the bank Holidays off? If my husband doesnt work on Black Friday then she wont have to either.
I just don't knoe what to do! My DD loves and I can tell by the way they interact. I am in no mood to be looking for another nanny at the moment. I have no friends with children, so I don't know who to ask these questions.

You are giving her 3 weeks of vacation per year - that is MORE than generous. I have a very nice job from a good company and I only get 2 weeks per yr until I've been with the company for 10 yrs.

I would just give her the national holidays off. period. She is being greedy. She wants the advantages of being paid under the table with all of the advantages of being a bonifide employee. She needs to start acting like a self-employed person, because that is truthfully what she is. You are paying her for a service, just as you pay your lawn care paople, your hairdresser, etc. For most people in the 'real world' , if you don't show up to work, you don't get paid. End of story.

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:12 PM	#1
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 281	Nanny days off I have had a nanny for three months and today out of no where she asks for us to put in writing the holidays she gets off and how many sick/personal days she has. When we interviewed her we told her that she would get the holidays that I got off. I am an anesthesiologist and I have to work certain holidays. The friday after thanksgiving is not considered a holiday and now she is pissed. Is it fair to make her work the holidays I work? We are also giving her three weeks paid vacation. I don't believe in sick time, since I don't want her to call in sick when she isn't. On the flip side, I don't want her to come in when she is really sick. I have never had a nanny before and I don't know what the norm is. I don't have family near by so I don't have a backup. I really don't know what to do.
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 281

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:28 PM	#2
missjenny2679 Member Joined: May 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,368	I have been a nanny for the same family for over 2 years now! Before I even started we put every thing we talked about...time off, vacation (which by the way you give her more than I get!) all in writing and signed it. I do not have "sick" days really. I went almost two years with out calling in sick. However, Oct. 12 I ended up in the ER because I was so sick...needless to say I missed work for two days. Honestly, your nanny is a person too.. and shes bound to get sick sometime. I was a preschool teacher for 12 years before I became a nanny, and I always had to work the Friday after Thanksgiving. A lot of people have to work the day after...so I think she is just going to have to suck that one up! I would suggest in the future putting everything in writing from day one so that every holiday and day off are clear from the get go Let me know if I can help with anything else!
	__________________ "Moi is wearing Marc Jacobs...Isn't he lucky?" Miss Piggy

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:31 PM	#3
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933	^I agree..put it all in writing NOW so it is clear. I dont beleive in sick time either BUT i think if she is caring for your sick child and CATCHES what our child has..I personally would STILL PAY HER. KWIM? I have a nanny...she was out sick with the flu for a week...but didnt get paid because she doesnt get sick time(and she didnt get it from us!LOL!)
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933

Nov 2nd, 2009, 10:32 PM	#4
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933	PS-the day after Thanksgiving is NOT a paid holiday ANYWHERE i know of..she is milking you!LOL!
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:28 PM	#5
Junkenpo LVoebird! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: 2500 miles from any continental landmass Posts: 3,062	In Hawaii, we get a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving. The schools are always closed for Thanksgiving Day & the Friday after. Not that that means anything in OP's case, but I thought i'd throw that thought out there.
	__________________

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:29 PM	#6
elizat Member Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 9,123	^ Very similar w/ what I have experienced as well. I am in the legal field and I would say that 98% of firms are closed the day after Thanksgiving, with workers that are paid hourly receiving that as a holiday (salaried employees would not matter w/ that).
elizat Member Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 9,123	__________________ Click to donate to rescue and shelter pets for free! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/c...1237.ctgProd02 My blog of odds and ends

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:39 PM	#7
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933	^But she is a DOCTOR....if they had holidays off....where would all the sick people go??LOL....... (My husband is a doctor and works holidays) ...and the nanny knew that when she signed on.....
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,933

Nov 2nd, 2009, 11:50 PM	#8
VLH Member Joined: Mar 2009 Location: Adelaide Australia Posts: 116	not directly related - but im interested to know - I dont have a nanny, my dd goes to childcare one day and grandmas one day. if she is sick, i take the day off work and it is classified as carers leave and i get paid under my personal sick leave entitlements from my job. does this work the same in US?

Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:42 AM	#10
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,550	How old is she? She probably just wants to shop the day after Thanksgiving (makes sense to me, I think that's Black Friday?) My close friend was a nanny this summer and she was able to request days off but also has certain days off/vacation time that was set in stone when she was hired. I don't really see the need for sick days BUT if she is persistent then a few won't hurt IMO.
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Nov 3rd, 2009, 07:44 AM	#11
TallulahJane Member Joined: Jan 2009 Location: Sunny Florida Posts: 532	Mostly from what I have experienced as a nanny/babysitter, is that families hire a nanny full time on weekdays and then hire an "occasional" babysitter for when they want to go out at night or weekends. This would also include the days your nanny can't work or is off. If you work weekends and you have a full time nanny 7 days a week, then that would not work.

Nov 3rd, 2009, 08:29 AM	#12
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,139	I agree that you need to get things in writing ASAP. Having a nanny is a lot of give and take and what makes one nanny happy, may not make another. You may have to give in a bit in an effort to keep her happy. Happy nanny=happy kids...
vhdos Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,139	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:43 PM	#13
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 281	Here is the problem. We are paying her under the table, and my husband the attorney refuses to acknowlede in writing what holidays she gets off because that would mean we were hiring someone illegally. When I interviewed I had to make sure I picked someone flexible since I leave the hospital when my assigned cases are done. I also told her she would get any holiday I got off, off as well. My husbands office is closed on the Friday after Thanksgiving, but that doesnt mean he doesnt work. He got home from work at 6 am this morning. She doesn't understand that. She keeps bringing up how she is a professional, but professionalism involves sacrifices. She wants more days off now and I don't know what to do. She asked about personal days too, and I remember talking about that during the interview and I said we werent giving any. I am willing to pay her if she misses one day for being sick, but not a week. Do most people give their nannies all the bank Holidays off? If my husband doesnt work on Black Friday then she wont have to either. I just don't knoe what to do! My DD loves and I can tell by the way they interact. I am in no mood to be looking for another nanny at the moment. I have no friends with children, so I don't know who to ask these questions.
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 281

Nov 3rd, 2009, 02:12 PM	#14
Bags4Bubbles Bubbles luvs Bbags Joined: Dec 2006 Location: Michigan Posts: 3,306	Ohhh... not good. That's a sticky situation. My step-sister & husband (both attorneys) have compensation & these things in writing, and I'm not sure if the Friday after Thanksgiving is a PAID holiday as a part of their nanny's contract as I've never really asked the nitty gritty of the situation - but it's definitely a holiday. Their nanny isn't working Thanksgiving or the day after. I agree with vhdos, that if you're happy with your nanny - then I would figure out what it is going to take to keep her. I've watched my SS lose a good one (to an overseas move) and then have to try to find a "good" replacement and it was a nightmare... They're in a large metro area too, so you would think it would be easy to find one - but I think that is just the nature of it. GL!
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