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Nishi621 · Nov 4th, 2009, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by nycdiva

Here is the problem. We are paying her under the table, and my husband the attorney refuses to acknowlede in writing what holidays she gets off because that would mean we were hiring someone illegally.
When I interviewed I had to make sure I picked someone flexible since I leave the hospital when my assigned cases are done. I also told her she would get any holiday I got off, off as well. My husbands office is closed on the Friday after Thanksgiving, but that doesnt mean he doesnt work. He got home from work at 6 am this morning. She doesn't understand that.
She keeps bringing up how she is a professional, but professionalism involves sacrifices. She wants more days off now and I don't know what to do. She asked about personal days too, and I remember talking about that during the interview and I said we werent giving any. I am willing to pay her if she misses one day for being sick, but not a week. Do most people give their nannies all the bank Holidays off? If my husband doesnt work on Black Friday then she wont have to either.
I just don't knoe what to do! My DD loves and I can tell by the way they interact. I am in no mood to be looking for another nanny at the moment. I have no friends with children, so I don't know who to ask these questions.

OH! didn't see this part before I wrote my last response, yeah, then, it is tricky putting anything in writing, that could come back to bite you in the ass later. In this case, i too would shy away from putting anything in writing!

As for president's day and MLK day, those are basically "government" holidays, banks, schools, etc. are off, most private companies are not, so, I would not consider those a holiday. I would say the deal is, if you are off, she is off, period!

I am also in NYC amd can direct you to a website/parenting group where they have some great info on nannies, PM me if interested.

Green Zebra · Nov 4th, 2009, 10:33 PM

Reporting nanny wages and paying Social Security taxes is the law. When you and your nanny agree to pay 'off the books' you are mutually agreeing to break the law.

Am I the only one who feels this way??

kimberf · Nov 5th, 2009, 12:58 AM

^^^ I think everyone gets that. OP's husband is an attorney. They get it. That's why they don't want a paper trail. (Though technically, in the eyes of the government, I don't think the nanny actually is breaking the law, at least up until she doesn't report that income fully. It's the employer's responsibility to verify employment eligibility, do the withholding, pay soc security and disability, etc.)

However, that doesn't solve OP's current situation. Even if they go legit now, they still have to iron out the holidays and other issues she's having. She still doesn't have backup childcare if she has to work a holiday the nanny wants off. I think she probably sees the drawbacks right now of having set this up under the table, so people are trying to focus on what she can do for the immediate situation.

twinkle.tink · Nov 5th, 2009, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by Green Zebra

Reporting nanny wages and paying Social Security taxes is the law. When you and your nanny agree to pay 'off the books' you are mutually agreeing to break the law.

Am I the only one who feels this way??

Nope...I agree.

You and your husband are both professionals and should behave as such. Legally hire the nanny, report the wages and pay the SS tax. On her end she behaves professionally, gets a contract and reports her income to the IRS.

In CA, standard I have seen at 4 or 5 daycare center/providers are as such:

2 weeks paid vacation, they choose the time. If you go on vacation and your child does not attend, you still pay.

All bank/school holidays: New years day, MLK, presidents day, memorial day, Independence day, Labor day, Columbus day, Veterans day, Thanksgiving and Friday after, Christmas eve and Christmas day. **All holidays include: Friday preceding if on Sat, or Monday after if its on Sun.
My last provider also had: Good Friday, the day after Christmas in her contract.

Sick Leave: None, but you still pay if your child is sick and doesn't attend.

I think this would all apply to a Nanny, except if she is going to care for your child when he/she is sick (saving you from having to take off in such instance) then 3 -5 days seems reasonable.

Many companies are getting away from set 'vacation' and 'sick' days and going with PTO (paid time off). 3 weeks is about standard and they have it accrue by pay period, which makes sense. Then you never have some one take vacation and quit right after.

elizat · Nov 5th, 2009, 10:12 PM

Originally Posted by Green Zebra

Reporting nanny wages and paying Social Security taxes is the law. When you and your nanny agree to pay 'off the books' you are mutually agreeing to break the law.

Am I the only one who feels this way??

No. I agree.

mirdc · Nov 6th, 2009, 02:24 PM

I don't see why you can't hire them as an independant contractor - and they are responsible for their own taxes, but they get the advantages of treating themselves like a business and writing off certian expenses.

lulilu · Nov 6th, 2009, 10:26 PM

I think you and your husband should know better than to pay your nanny under the table. Since the Zoe Baird incident, I don't know an attorney who does not have legally paid childcare. Often it's easier to use an au pair service, where there are no immigration issues and many of the vacation, sick day issues are determined by the service.

Green Zebra · Nov 7th, 2009, 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by mirdc

I don't see why you can't hire them as an independant contractor - and they are responsible for their own taxes, but they get the advantages of treating themselves like a business and writing off certian expenses.

Sorry, but that is not allowed.

Employers cannot avoid their employment responsibilities by labeling a worker an independent contractor, even at the employees request or by signing a contract to that effect. The IRS has specific criteria for determining an employee relationship. A worker is an employee if the employer controls not only the work done, but how it is done.

nycdiva · Nov 7th, 2009, 11:21 AM

I guess you guys can figure out I am a first time new mom. We interviewed a lot of nannies and they all wanted to be hired off the books. What I am doing is wrong, and we will have to change that. I thought it was the norm.
I just wanted some feedback about what holidays moms here give off. I thought three weeks paid vacation plus all the holidays I get off was acceptable, but she wants the three weeks plus 8 holidays throughout the year. I told her I would give her eight days, but it may not be the exact holiday. For instance I have to work president's day since the hospital is open that day, but I told her she could have another day off in Feb to compensate. I thought that was fair. I like my nanny, and I don't want to look for another one. I want her to be happy. My baby is already attached to her. I just wanted to know if this sounds fair.

pursegirl3 · Nov 8th, 2009, 02:51 AM

I'm a former nanny 10+ years experience with formal nanny school training. I think she wants the day after thanksgiving off to either go shopping or is going out of town. You mentioned that your husband will be off that day. Could he take care of the baby? Some of the best memories my former employers who were the dad's have had is when they had to" Fill in" for me . I also agree with the suggestion to have other backup available . She is not milking you but she does know her worth..... if you went through a Nanny agency they should be able to send someone to fill in for her .

Nov 6th, 2009, 02:24 PM	#36
mirdc purse oracle Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 280	I don't see why you can't hire them as an independant contractor - and they are responsible for their own taxes, but they get the advantages of treating themselves like a business and writing off certian expenses.
mirdc purse oracle Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 280

Nov 6th, 2009, 10:26 PM	#37
lulilu Member Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,484	I think you and your husband should know better than to pay your nanny under the table. Since the Zoe Baird incident, I don't know an attorney who does not have legally paid childcare. Often it's easier to use an au pair service, where there are no immigration issues and many of the vacation, sick day issues are determined by the service.
lulilu Member Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,484

Nov 7th, 2009, 11:21 AM	#39
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 277	I guess you guys can figure out I am a first time new mom. We interviewed a lot of nannies and they all wanted to be hired off the books. What I am doing is wrong, and we will have to change that. I thought it was the norm. I just wanted some feedback about what holidays moms here give off. I thought three weeks paid vacation plus all the holidays I get off was acceptable, but she wants the three weeks plus 8 holidays throughout the year. I told her I would give her eight days, but it may not be the exact holiday. For instance I have to work president's day since the hospital is open that day, but I told her she could have another day off in Feb to compensate. I thought that was fair. I like my nanny, and I don't want to look for another one. I want her to be happy. My baby is already attached to her. I just wanted to know if this sounds fair.
nycdiva OP Member Joined: Oct 2007 Posts: 277

Nov 4th, 2009, 10:33 PM	#32
Green Zebra funemployed for now Joined: Oct 2008 Location: Second City Posts: 929	Reporting nanny wages and paying Social Security taxes is the law. When you and your nanny agree to pay 'off the books' you are mutually agreeing to break the law. Am I the only one who feels this way??

Nov 5th, 2009, 12:58 AM	#33
kimberf Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,868	^^^ I think everyone gets that. OP's husband is an attorney. They get it. That's why they don't want a paper trail. (Though technically, in the eyes of the government, I don't think the nanny actually is breaking the law, at least up until she doesn't report that income fully. It's the employer's responsibility to verify employment eligibility, do the withholding, pay soc security and disability, etc.) However, that doesn't solve OP's current situation. Even if they go legit now, they still have to iron out the holidays and other issues she's having. She still doesn't have backup childcare if she has to work a holiday the nanny wants off. I think she probably sees the drawbacks right now of having set this up under the table, so people are trying to focus on what she can do for the immediate situation.

Nov 8th, 2009, 02:51 AM	#40
pursegirl3 Member Joined: Jan 2008 Location: South of L.V. Posts: 288	I'm a former nanny 10+ years experience with formal nanny school training. I think she wants the day after thanksgiving off to either go shopping or is going out of town. You mentioned that your husband will be off that day. Could he take care of the baby? Some of the best memories my former employers who were the dad's have had is when they had to" Fill in" for me . I also agree with the suggestion to have other backup available . She is not milking you but she does know her worth..... if you went through a Nanny agency they should be able to send someone to fill in for her .

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