Nanny days off

[missjenny2679]

I would do this...call a local daycare (I'm sure you have a Kindercare or something along those lines around) and ask them what days they are closed. Those are the same days that I would give your nanny off imo. You will find that most daycares will give off just the major holidays to their teachers. Also, having been a nanny and a preschool teacher in daycares...I can tell you that your nanny has a lot more benefits with you right now than she would in a daycare center. If she were to go and work as a teacher at a center she would have NO VACATION days until after she had been there at least a year! She also would not have a bunch of personal days either! Chances are she has other friends that are nannies, and she is probably talked to them and they are putting ideas in her head. Honestly, I think what you offer her now is above and beyond what she would find at a daycare!

[omgsweet]

Does she live with you?

[mirdc]

Originally Posted by missjenny2679

I would do this...call a local daycare (I'm sure you have a Kindercare or something along those lines around) and ask them what days they are closed. Those are the same days that I would give your nanny off imo. You will find that most daycares will give off just the major holidays to their teachers. Also, having been a nanny and a preschool teacher in daycares...I can tell you that your nanny has a lot more benefits with you right now than she would in a daycare center. If she were to go and work as a teacher at a center she would have NO VACATION days until after she had been there at least a year! She also would not have a bunch of personal days either! Chances are she has other friends that are nannies, and she is probably talked to them and they are putting ideas in her head. Honestly, I think what you offer her now is above and beyond what she would find at a daycare!

Excellent advice!

[missjenny2679]

Thats a good question! Does the nanny live with you guys?

[nycdiva]

No she doesn't live with me. I just don't know what the norm in in NYC. The worst part is I just found out I don't get presidents or mlk off either. She is going to be pissed. I can give her 3 weeks plus eight days for the random holidays, but she can't take the holidays on tge actual holiday. So basically she wants the three weeks plus another two weeks paid vacation with holidays and sick leave. I'm a physician and I don't even get that. We interviewed nannies for a while before we picked. She does a good job, but is being extremely greedy and demanding. I am afraid of what she is going to ask for next.

[Aslan]

Originally Posted by mirdc

You are giving her 3 weeks of vacation per year - that is MORE than generous. I have a very nice job from a good company and I only get 2 weeks per yr until I've been with the company for 10 yrs. I would just give her the national holidays off. period. She is being greedy. She wants the advantages of being paid under the table with all of the advantages of being a bonifide employee. She needs to start acting like a self-employed person, because that is truthfully what she is. You are paying her for a service, just as you pay your lawn care paople, your hairdresser, etc. For most people in the 'real world' , if you don't show up to work, you don't get paid. End of story.

I wholeheartedly agree. IMHO, she's trying to take advantage of you guys.

[vhdos]

The bottom line is that you are probably just going to have to do what it takes to keep her happy regardless of what the "norm" is. I would bend over backwards to keep a good nanny - they are extremely hard to find.

[missjenny2679]

I don't get MLK or Pres. Day off either, and I'm fine with that! I know that a good nanny is hard to come by...however, YOU and DH should be the one calling the shots...not the other way around!

[HauteMama]

Unfortunately, when you cannot put anything in writing, she can try to change the terms of your agreement anytime the mood strikes. I think she knows she has you over a barrel - you don't have alternative child care, good nannies are hard to find, and she wants everything she can get. Without writing up a contract and paying her legally, I don't see many alternatives to either giving her what she wants (which could end up being more and more) or having her walk. I guess it just depends on who needs what more (you needing child care vs her needing a job).

[Fishfood]

Unfortunately, without a contract, she is holding your dependence on her hostage so you'lll meet her demands. IMO 3 weeks vacation is wild... Ours got "free" days: days she could call in sick (if she clearly was). Or vacation with a two weeks notice (still had to be approved) our expectations were laid out and we were protected in case she claimed anything.

I would strongly suggest a contract... I've seen the absence of them turn bad. You may want to start RIGHT now finding a replacement while you work with her just in case... Without a contract, she's free to walk out on you at any time. Good luck... Start hitting the internet up for nanny recs. But know that you should really put it in writing, It can help protect you, DH, and your LO from anything to unrealized expectations to absences to abuse!

[vhdos]

Originally Posted by missjenny2679

I don't get MLK or Pres. Day off either, and I'm fine with that! I know that a good nanny is hard to come by...however, YOU and DH should be the one calling the shots...not the other way around!

Well, perhaps the family should have all of the power, but I wouldn't want it that way. My goal would be to keep a happy, satisfied, loving nanny caring for my children. Not someone who has bad morale or is angry about not getting the time off she wants. That kind of attitude could spill over onto the children. If it were me, I'd try to compromise so that you both had power and felt good about her position.

[ilvoelv]

I totally agree with mirdc.

[kimberf]

I think it's reasonable for your nanny to ask for a list of what holidays she'll get and how her personal days work. I agree with her that it is professional behavior. I would certainly want that information at any job I took. I'd try to be flexible about it and work the required days, but I would want to know in advance what those days were.

If your husband really doesn't even want a list out there (which, quite frankly, if you just label it something like "nycdiva's days off", I don't see how it makes much difference. If it comes to the point that you're being investigated for possible tax or immigration issues, I would guess that the government would have the ability to examine your bank records and match up withdrawals to deposits in your nanny's account anyway.), then I guess the next best thing is to have a formal talk with her and lay out all that information without putting it in writing.

In terms of your benefits, I think you're being more than fair to offer three weeks + 8 holidays; she's getting a bit greedy asking for three weeks + two more weeks. Based on info from our nanny and the local parents' club (about 3000 members), three weeks' vacation is normal to generous here. Two weeks is skimpy, at least if you don't also do sick/personal days, more than three isn't common. Many families stipulate that the nanny has to take one week or ten days of it when the family takes their vacation, and then is free to choose the timing of the rest of it. Most people do also give a few (2-5) sick days/personal days. Remember, this is someone working around young children. If she ever does activities with your DD, it's almost inevitable she'll get sick.

I would have a serious discussion with her, go through the specifics of the holidays you are likely to have, what happens when she gets sick, what happens when you go on vacation, when she could expect a raise, etc. It sounds like this is the type of information she wants, and it's reasonable for her to want it. If the nanny doesn't like it and you really don't have any backup childcare, you need to get the issues all on the table right away, so that you know to start looking for someone else who is OK with these requirements, rather than having your nanny suddenly give notice at some point. I think that you will run into these questions sooner or later from anyone you hire. On the bright side, there are a lot of good nannies looking for work right now, since many families have had to cut back.

[DreamingBeauty]

You really need to start looking for a new nanny, this one is manipulating you and it will never end. And don't repeat the mistakes you made with this one with the next one. DO NOT pay people who work for you daily under the table, that is just asking for trouble. Even if it ends up costing a little bit more, it is worth the extra money. I would also reduce the vacation time/sick time to probably 2 weeks and only give the federal holidays off, the Friday after Thanksgiving is not a federal holiday. If she calls in sick, she has to use a vacation day-my old job used this method and just called them paid time off. Paid time off rolled over year to year and if you didn't use it all up you could just get the money as an extra check, which they actually preferred since we were always understaffed as it was. To cover your childcare for the federal holidays you don't have off, you could offer her to work it if she wants and she can have an extra paid time off day added to her bank, or line up some extra babysitters or friends you can call to help you out. Now you are not dependent on 1 person to care for your daughter and are in a much better position.

[Nishi621]

Ok, I don't get this "I don't believe in sick time", umm, every single corporate company I had ever worked for in my life gave sick days, anywhere from 3 to 5 per year. So, why not nannies?

As for the day after Thanksgiving, that is up for grabs, I ahve worked for companies (lots of them!) that gave that day off as paid and others that didn't (so, please don't say the nanny is milking them because no one gets that day off, lots do!).

And yes, everything shoudl be in writing for both of you!