Moms with 6 year olds?

ShiShi · Jul 16th, 2008, 11:59 PM

WOW! 5 was bad, but 6 is terrible. I don't know what to do any more. The whining, the arguing, the attitude. AHHH! Her new thing is to say (usually while sobbing) "I don't like my life!"

She's even gotten into some trouble with the girl next door (lying to me, sneaking over there w/o permission, stealing makeup from my purse, etc.). I feel like I'm parenting a teenager. Is it going to be like this for the next 12 years?!?!?!

Tell me I'm not alone.

ilovepinkhearts · Jul 17th, 2008, 12:32 AM

i have a 6yr old son...and he can drive me crazy! he has gotten a horrible attitude lately. yells and screams at his 3yr old brother. he also has gotten very whiny. we have also caught him in lies. i find that time outs still work for him...or i wont let him watch a show he wants or play on the nintendo.

he is a very smart boy...well advanced for his age...but some times he seems to revert back to a baby. he will whine if he can't make a silly face like daddy. or instead of asking for a drink or snack...he comes and whines/cries at me. *sigh*

ShiShi · Jul 17th, 2008, 12:38 AM

Oh yes, baby talk is in full swing over here.

PinkSuadeSoho · Jul 17th, 2008, 01:21 AM

Mine isn't 6 yet, but she sneaks into our washroom and has a go at all of my make-up and perfumes. Both of my kids are harder now than when they were in their terrible 2's. I adore them and know that they are only little once, but sometimes I wish I had a Parent Trainer! :)

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jul 17th, 2008, 10:24 AM

I have a recently turned 7yr old DD and I LOVE this age!
Seriously, after maybe 4 yrs old{?} it's been s-i-m-p-l-e.

To be honest, sounds like she needs more discipline. I have a 4 yr old twin that is very difficult and we have to have a ZERO tolerance policy w/ him. . . he knows EXACTLY what he's doing and letting him do it is out of the question.
His twin brother doesn't need to have as much discipline, nor does my 7 yr old little girls.
W/ kids like this CONSISTENCY is paramount. Mean what you say and say what you mean and you have to follow through every single time.

PinkSuadeSoho · Jul 17th, 2008, 01:09 PM

I agree ^ that you have to be consistant, otherwise they know you don't mean business. Follow through with what you say you are going to do.

ChristyR143 · Jul 17th, 2008, 01:39 PM

My experience has been the same as Swanky's. My oldest son who turns 7 in November is an absolute pleasure to be around. I am LOVING this age. I also noticed that after about 4, he just kept getting better and better.

I'm sorry you are having issues. I agree that consistency is the key here. It's tough, but necessary.

Japster · Jul 17th, 2008, 04:52 PM

I have a 5.5 year old and a 7.5 year old so it's been very interesting seeing them both go through growth stages. I get the added benefit of having a Psychiatrist as a husband too. LOL.

At the 5-6 year old age, kids tend to go through a "testing boundaries" stage. They get into things- trash rooms out, whine, challenge you...ect. They also learn about lieing. They don't really understand the full magnitude of what a "lie" is. But they learn through mistakes so this is very normal. It is REALLLLLLLLY important that you set boundaries. Setting boundaries actually gives them comfort and shows there are limitations. Follow through on punishments. Try not to threaten with "If you don't stop yelling, we will leave." unless you TRULY will leave otherwise the words don't have meaning or consequence.

Most importantly, spend an hour each day quietly reading or holding her while you both watch a show. That contact will reassure her and help her feel better all around.

Good Luck!

HauteMama · Jul 17th, 2008, 08:46 PM

I agree with Swanky. The younger ages were tough, but after about age 4 they really improved. I used to actually plan trips to the local park during their I'll-do-the-opposite-of-whatever-mom-says phases. I would let them play a while and then call for them to come over by me. They would giggle and run away. I would tell them they could come by me or we could go home, and they would continue to run. So I packed everyone up and we went home. These planned trips made them believe that when we were an hour away from home and I could not necessarily follow through with a threat to take them home I still would. So they believed what I said and problems were averted.

Toddlers and young children can be exhausting. I know how easy and how tempting it is to let things slide or do what is easiest "just this once." But it really doesn't make things any easier in the long run; it just prolongs the struggle. Once they truly believe you mean what you say, the struggle is mostly over and the sailing becomes much smoother. My 8 year old is fantastic to be around, and my almost-6 year old is almost to that point as well. My 4 year old? Not so much quite yet!

Swanky Mama Of Three · Jul 17th, 2008, 09:20 PM

ugh, I have TWO 4 yr olds . . . I'm just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel

twinkle.tink · Jul 17th, 2008, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swanky Mama Of Three

I have a recently turned 7yr old DD and I LOVE this age!
Seriously, after maybe 4 yrs old{?} it's been s-i-m-p-l-e.

To be honest, sounds like she needs more discipline. I have a 4 yr old twin that is very difficult and we have to have a ZERO tolerance policy w/ him. . . he knows EXACTLY what he's doing and letting him do it is out of the question.
His twin brother doesn't need to have as much discipline, nor does my 7 yr old little girls.
W/ kids like this CONSISTENCY is paramount. Mean what you say and say what you mean and you have to follow through every single time.

Well said, to be perfectly honest my 14 year old wouldn't attempt this sort of behavior or disrespect let alone my 8 year old. I would really start the discipline immediately or you'll be in for a lot of trouble down the line.

merika · Jul 17th, 2008, 09:42 PM

Like swanky said things were bad up until about 5. Then they should ease up. In fact my son's pre school teacher told me that if you taught them proper discipline and to obey you by age 5, they'd be easy to manage thereafter.

There are always problem behaviors, losing their temper, learning to lie, stuff like that but if the consequences are made clear immediately and followed through, then there is little likelihood of recurrence.

ShiShi · Jul 18th, 2008, 01:05 AM

I'll admit that discipline has been a little 'lax'. But honestly, she never needed it until now. She was such an easy baby, toddler and preschooler. Maybe that's why I feel so unprepared, even though I've had thousands of hours of training and years of experience with kids.

I think she's definitely testing boundaries, I also think she needs more mommy time. I need to work harder to do that. I'm a teacher and I'm off for the summer so I'm babysitting two little girls at their house (she comes with, of course). I think there's some jealousy there too, she's an only child and has never had to share me.

I definitely want to get this under control now, because I do not want to be going through this in the teenage years. The consequences could be much worse. :(

Anyway...thanks for listening to me vent! And thanks for your ideas. :)

SwirlyGirly · Jul 18th, 2008, 11:56 AM

My 6 yo is so whiny, it's killing me. I'm so upset w/ her lately. She acts just like my 3 year old. She used to be a great big sister, but now instead of trying to be a positive and good big sister, she's lowered herself down to my 3 year old's level. I really don't know what to do!

purseinsanity · Jul 23rd, 2008, 01:34 AM

^I am so happy I'm not alone! We were going to cart my son off to the pyschiatrist! My 6 year old is an absolute dream when he's alone. Before my daughter wakes up in the morning (always about 45 min) after him, and after she goes to bed 1/2 hr. before him, I have no complaints. But when they're near each other, instead of showing her how to behave, he stoops down to her level, and drops it even more a notch! He whines, cries, gives total attitude and can be downright disrespectful. I feel like he's in time out most of the day! We thought it may be jealousy, but about what I do not know. He gets way more attention from my DH and I than my daughter does. He definitely knows his boundaries but couldn't care less about crossing them. He would rather do what he wants to do, even though he knows it'll get him in trouble, than not do that thing at all. What do you do with that??

Jul 16th, 2008, 11:59 PM	#1
ShiShi wa wa wee wa Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 405	Moms with 6 year olds? WOW! 5 was bad, but 6 is terrible. I don't know what to do any more. The whining, the arguing, the attitude. AHHH! Her new thing is to say (usually while sobbing) "I don't like my life!" She's even gotten into some trouble with the girl next door (lying to me, sneaking over there w/o permission, stealing makeup from my purse, etc.). I feel like I'm parenting a teenager. Is it going to be like this for the next 12 years?!?!?! Tell me I'm not alone. __________________ Looking for (all 100s in Black or Nude): Pigalle kid 37.5 Rolando suede 37.5 or patent 38 Declic suede 37.5 or patent 38

Jul 17th, 2008, 12:32 AM	#2
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 926	i have a 6yr old son...and he can drive me crazy! he has gotten a horrible attitude lately. yells and screams at his 3yr old brother. he also has gotten very whiny. we have also caught him in lies. i find that time outs still work for him...or i wont let him watch a show he wants or play on the nintendo. he is a very smart boy...well advanced for his age...but some times he seems to revert back to a baby. he will whine if he can't make a silly face like daddy. or instead of asking for a drink or snack...he comes and whines/cries at me. sigh __________________ i love pink - i love coach - i love anything coach in pink

Jul 17th, 2008, 12:38 AM	#3
ShiShi wa wa wee wa Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 405	Oh yes, baby talk is in full swing over here. __________________ Looking for (all 100s in Black or Nude): Pigalle kid 37.5 Rolando suede 37.5 or patent 38 Declic suede 37.5 or patent 38

Jul 17th, 2008, 01:21 AM	#4
PinkSuadeSoho Live the Life U Love Joined: Jul 2006 Location: British Properties,Beautiful By Nature! Spectacular by SIGHT! :) Posts: 3,742	Mine isn't 6 yet, but she sneaks into our washroom and has a go at all of my make-up and perfumes. Both of my kids are harder now than when they were in their terrible 2's. I adore them and know that they are only little once, but sometimes I wish I had a Parent Trainer! :) __________________ Money can't buy me love- BUT........it can buy me PURSES! My must have WISH LIST! Thomas Wylde Leather Skull Hobo Thomas Wylde Leather Misson Cross Handbag Thomas Wylde HandBag just started the search Bottega Veneta HandBag just started the search Only then will I call it a BAN

Jul 17th, 2008, 10:24 AM	#5
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 30,469	I have a recently turned 7yr old DD and I LOVE this age! Seriously, after maybe 4 yrs old{?} it's been s-i-m-p-l-e. To be honest, sounds like she needs more discipline. I have a 4 yr old twin that is very difficult and we have to have a ZERO tolerance policy w/ him. . . he knows EXACTLY what he's doing and letting him do it is out of the question. His twin brother doesn't need to have as much discipline, nor does my 7 yr old little girls. W/ kids like this CONSISTENCY is paramount. Mean what you say and say what you mean and you have to follow through every single time. __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jul 17th, 2008, 01:09 PM	#6
PinkSuadeSoho Live the Life U Love Joined: Jul 2006 Location: British Properties,Beautiful By Nature! Spectacular by SIGHT! :) Posts: 3,742	I agree ^ that you have to be consistant, otherwise they know you don't mean business. Follow through with what you say you are going to do. __________________ Money can't buy me love- BUT........it can buy me PURSES! My must have WISH LIST! Thomas Wylde Leather Skull Hobo Thomas Wylde Leather Misson Cross Handbag Thomas Wylde HandBag just started the search Bottega Veneta HandBag just started the search Only then will I call it a BAN

Jul 17th, 2008, 01:39 PM	#7
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Joined: Aug 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,545	My experience has been the same as Swanky's. My oldest son who turns 7 in November is an absolute pleasure to be around. I am LOVING this age. I also noticed that after about 4, he just kept getting better and better. I'm sorry you are having issues. I agree that consistency is the key here. It's tough, but necessary. __________________

Jul 17th, 2008, 04:52 PM	#8
Japster RAOK Mama Joined: May 2006 Location: WI Posts: 6,254	I have a 5.5 year old and a 7.5 year old so it's been very interesting seeing them both go through growth stages. I get the added benefit of having a Psychiatrist as a husband too. LOL. At the 5-6 year old age, kids tend to go through a "testing boundaries" stage. They get into things- trash rooms out, whine, challenge you...ect. They also learn about lieing. They don't really understand the full magnitude of what a "lie" is. But they learn through mistakes so this is very normal. It is REALLLLLLLLY important that you set boundaries. Setting boundaries actually gives them comfort and shows there are limitations. Follow through on punishments. Try not to threaten with "If you don't stop yelling, we will leave." unless you TRULY will leave otherwise the words don't have meaning or consequence. Most importantly, spend an hour each day quietly reading or holding her while you both watch a show. That contact will reassure her and help her feel better all around. Good Luck! __________________ Check out our pieces in the new Fall Fashion Issue of New York Magazine! 20% off all orders at FutureFashionista.com with code: PurseBlog

Jul 17th, 2008, 08:46 PM	#9
HauteMama Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,911	I agree with Swanky. The younger ages were tough, but after about age 4 they really improved. I used to actually plan trips to the local park during their I'll-do-the-opposite-of-whatever-mom-says phases. I would let them play a while and then call for them to come over by me. They would giggle and run away. I would tell them they could come by me or we could go home, and they would continue to run. So I packed everyone up and we went home. These planned trips made them believe that when we were an hour away from home and I could not necessarily follow through with a threat to take them home I still would. So they believed what I said and problems were averted. Toddlers and young children can be exhausting. I know how easy and how tempting it is to let things slide or do what is easiest "just this once." But it really doesn't make things any easier in the long run; it just prolongs the struggle. Once they truly believe you mean what you say, the struggle is mostly over and the sailing becomes much smoother. My 8 year old is fantastic to be around, and my almost-6 year old is almost to that point as well. My 4 year old? Not so much quite yet!

Jul 17th, 2008, 09:20 PM	#10
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 30,469	ugh, I have TWO 4 yr olds . . . I'm just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Jul 17th, 2008, 09:42 PM	#12
merika Sac Himalaya Joined: Nov 2006 Location: In front of a computer Posts: 7,822	Like swanky said things were bad up until about 5. Then they should ease up. In fact my son's pre school teacher told me that if you taught them proper discipline and to obey you by age 5, they'd be easy to manage thereafter. There are always problem behaviors, losing their temper, learning to lie, stuff like that but if the consequences are made clear immediately and followed through, then there is little likelihood of recurrence. __________________ I will also gladly authenticate your chocolates for you.

Jul 18th, 2008, 01:05 AM	#13
ShiShi wa wa wee wa Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 405	I'll admit that discipline has been a little 'lax'. But honestly, she never needed it until now. She was such an easy baby, toddler and preschooler. Maybe that's why I feel so unprepared, even though I've had thousands of hours of training and years of experience with kids. I think she's definitely testing boundaries, I also think she needs more mommy time. I need to work harder to do that. I'm a teacher and I'm off for the summer so I'm babysitting two little girls at their house (she comes with, of course). I think there's some jealousy there too, she's an only child and has never had to share me. I definitely want to get this under control now, because I do not want to be going through this in the teenage years. The consequences could be much worse. :( Anyway...thanks for listening to me vent! And thanks for your ideas. :) __________________ Looking for (all 100s in Black or Nude): Pigalle kid 37.5 Rolando suede 37.5 or patent 38 Declic suede 37.5 or patent 38

Jul 18th, 2008, 11:56 AM	#14
SwirlyGirly Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,500	My 6 yo is so whiny, it's killing me. I'm so upset w/ her lately. She acts just like my 3 year old. She used to be a great big sister, but now instead of trying to be a positive and good big sister, she's lowered herself down to my 3 year old's level. I really don't know what to do! __________________ Life is too short to love only one brand. Love All. Collect All.

Jul 23rd, 2008, 01:34 AM	#15
purseinsanity Chooland Resident Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,729	^I am so happy I'm not alone! We were going to cart my son off to the pyschiatrist! My 6 year old is an absolute dream when he's alone. Before my daughter wakes up in the morning (always about 45 min) after him, and after she goes to bed 1/2 hr. before him, I have no complaints. But when they're near each other, instead of showing her how to behave, he stoops down to her level, and drops it even more a notch! He whines, cries, gives total attitude and can be downright disrespectful. I feel like he's in time out most of the day! We thought it may be jealousy, but about what I do not know. He gets way more attention from my DH and I than my daughter does. He definitely knows his boundaries but couldn't care less about crossing them. He would rather do what he wants to do, even though he knows it'll get him in trouble, than not do that thing at all. What do you do with that??