Kinda sad...

PurseFanatic · Sep 5th, 2008, 10:15 PM

I filled out forms today to get information about child support here in TX. (which since we aren't married also means a paternity test).

I'm sad about it because he has been doing so well, asking about the baby, etc, but he hasn't given me a dime. I need help right now bc I had to purchase a vehicle last weekend (a minivan) and don't get paid for another week and he has completely avoided my texts about it, if I bring it up during a phone call he gets angry and says I make his chest hurt.

This is actually money he owes me! I loaned him 400 dollars a couple of months ago to buy a used truck. All I am asking for is my money back!!

I was so disappointed in his behavior that I filled out the CS stuff, I know he'll never help me with her, so I have to do what I need to do for her.

Thanks for letting me ramble!!!!

AAA07 · Sep 5th, 2008, 10:45 PM

Too bad his chest hurts!! He's gotta pay - his responsibility!! If it means taking legal action do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

USCgerl · Sep 5th, 2008, 10:46 PM

I'm sorry you have to go through this! You're doing what is best for your baby girl and receiving money that is rightfully hers. *hugs*

rbaby · Sep 5th, 2008, 10:48 PM

You did the right thing and you should not feel bad about it. This money is for your daughter, not your purse fund. Even if he was helping you all along (which he wasn't), it is still a good idea to fill out the paper work just to make it official and clearly understood. As far as the money he owes you, he's the one that should feel bad for making you beg for it- your chest (and wallet) is the one hurting over this. Always put your daughter first... yourself second..., and never feel bad about it! You did the right thing

ilovepinkhearts · Sep 6th, 2008, 01:19 AM

you have to do what you have to do! so don't worry about him...you take care of your little girl!! and if he doesn't do it willingly...then the state will just give him a nudge in the right way, or he will go to jail...my ex husband found that out the hard way. he thought that he could just ignore the notices...and he almost went away for 6 wks. then the state started taking the money straight from his check...

good luck

kcf68 · Sep 6th, 2008, 03:42 AM

Yup! Don't think about poor little him, the money is for your child and for you to support her or him. Diapers, food, rent and all that is not cheap.

dell · Sep 6th, 2008, 03:03 PM

artjen · Sep 6th, 2008, 03:15 PM

Yes, you did the right thing by going through the proper channels. This way, if he should stop paying then you always have legal recourse. My ex-husband has paid child support for years, but he went through this phase where he quit his job and said he was going back to school for something else and took a minimum wage type job. It was ridiculous because he had a good career. Anyway, we ended up in court and he owed back support for not paying and the court said that he still needed to pay the regular amount. He ended up going back to his career. But if we didn't have paperwork throught the courts for child support, I would have been out of luck.

Sternchen · Sep 6th, 2008, 04:53 PM

Who the hell cares that his chest hurts?!! Certainly not me. If he's not man enough to take care of the decision that he chose to make (have sex with you which resulted in a child) then he is a coward.

You absolutely did the right thing...This guy seems like a major creep.

Sternchen · Sep 6th, 2008, 04:54 PM

Also...have you signed up for WIC?? There is no shame in applying for WIC since it is a program that will help you and your daughter get through these rough times...and you get a whole bunch of stuff for free!! I want to have WIC in Germany! It would seriously make things much easier

PurseFanatic · Sep 6th, 2008, 05:37 PM

Thanks for the support ladies! You're all right. I live with my friends in a nice area of town, and there is an apartment complex here running a special through the end of the year. They just remodeled all their empty units and are giving you a month of free rent if you sign a 1 year contract. I can afford the rent with no problem, but not with daycare too.

Plus he's talking about taking a promotion and moving to Washington state. Nothing against Washington state, but I only have a few girlfriends here and I don't want to move away from them, plus my brother is looking for a job here to be closer to me and his niece. He's been begging me to move with him, and I honestly feel I need to stay in a stable place right now where I'm happy and she can have the same people around her consistantly.

I thought about WIC, they said I make too much money, which I wish they would let you take in a rent statement and a car statement at least and go off of that, but they go off income after taxes, before bills.

Again thanks ladies, you're support is much appreciated.

kcf68 · Sep 6th, 2008, 06:55 PM

He doesn't sound too stable and I didn't have too much luck with Washington state getting child support payments. You should have some stability in your life and good friends and family to help you. You will need it..

addicted2chanel · Sep 6th, 2008, 10:11 PM

I grew up in Washington, and my mother and my father seperated when I was about a year old, and my mom filed papers for child support, since my dad wouldn't give her any money, and because he got hit with those papers, he stopped working, or did work "under the table" to avoid paying for me. Because my dad did not pay, the state gave my mother welfare in replacement, and my dad now owes an excess of $10,000 to this day, and is paying it off little by little (even though he makes $8,000 a month)

To this day he complains that "If it wasn't for you and your mom I wouldn't owe all this money." Needless to say, good luck if he moves to Washington.
Secondly, you don't need him if he is going to act like that, let alone borrow money from the mother of his child WHILE PREGNANT. YOU need that money, NOT him. That baby is going to need diapers, clothes, food (depending on what you choose to feed her

) and you loaning him money isn't going to do it

It sounds like he needs to step up to the plate and be a man! If I were you I would not move, I would do what you think is best for you and that precious baby!

ronsdiva · Sep 7th, 2008, 11:04 PM

You are doing the right thing. As has been stated, the money is for your precious DD and it due her. If Texas is like most states, the amount of the award will help, but it is not like it takes care of all or even a good portion of the cost to raise a child. States are much better cooperating with each other and enforcing child support orders from other states. It sounds like you have a support system in Texas, so I would encourage you to stay with your support system. If you went to Washington, who is to say he would not decide to move again. Children do best with stability.

It hurts his chest???!!!! Hmmm, who is the one carrying the baby?

PurseFanatic · Sep 7th, 2008, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ronsdiva

You are doing the right thing. As has been stated, the money is for your precious DD and it due her. If Texas is like most states, the amount of the award will help, but it is not like it takes care of all or even a good portion of the cost to raise a child. States are much better cooperating with each other and enforcing child support orders from other states. It sounds like you have a support system in Texas, so I would encourage you to stay with your support system. If you went to Washington, who is to say he would not decide to move again. Children do best with stability.

It hurts his chest???!!!! Hmmm, who is the one carrying the baby?

Exactly! I will still have to pay a lot of money on my own for daycare, groceries, etc, which is fine. But something from him would help.

Yea, it hurts his chest

even though it sounds cheesy I felt like saying "Yea well it breaks my heart that I can't even live on my own with my daughter in our own cozy little home, that I am going to have to stay with my room mate!"

Sep 5th, 2008, 10:15 PM	#1
PurseFanatic Member	Kinda sad... I filled out forms today to get information about child support here in TX. (which since we aren't married also means a paternity test). I'm sad about it because he has been doing so well, asking about the baby, etc, but he hasn't given me a dime. I need help right now bc I had to purchase a vehicle last weekend (a minivan) and don't get paid for another week and he has completely avoided my texts about it, if I bring it up during a phone call he gets angry and says I make his chest hurt. This is actually money he owes me! I loaned him 400 dollars a couple of months ago to buy a used truck. All I am asking for is my money back!! I was so disappointed in his behavior that I filled out the CS stuff, I know he'll never help me with her, so I have to do what I need to do for her. Thanks for letting me ramble!!!! __________________ My sweetie's latest ultrasound pic It's a girl!! I'm due December 28!

Sep 5th, 2008, 10:45 PM	#2
AAA07 True Gemini Location: Phoenix	Too bad his chest hurts!! He's gotta pay - his responsibility!! If it means taking legal action do it!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ http://www.blisteredwhiskers.org/ Help save a kitty.

Sep 5th, 2008, 10:46 PM	#3
USCgerl Member Location: Southern California	I'm sorry you have to go through this! You're doing what is best for your baby girl and receiving money that is rightfully hers. hugs __________________

Sep 6th, 2008, 01:19 AM	#5
ilovepinkhearts hi, i'm danielle Location: Texas	you have to do what you have to do! so don't worry about him...you take care of your little girl!! and if he doesn't do it willingly...then the state will just give him a nudge in the right way, or he will go to jail...my ex husband found that out the hard way. he thought that he could just ignore the notices...and he almost went away for 6 wks. then the state started taking the money straight from his check... good luck __________________

Sep 6th, 2008, 03:03 PM	#7
dell LV Bag LoVer	__________________ ~Danielle~

Sep 5th, 2008, 10:48 PM	#4
rbaby Insufficient Funds Location: Asking for a credit increase	You did the right thing and you should not feel bad about it. This money is for your daughter, not your purse fund. Even if he was helping you all along (which he wasn't), it is still a good idea to fill out the paper work just to make it official and clearly understood. As far as the money he owes you, he's the one that should feel bad for making you beg for it- your chest (and wallet) is the one hurting over this. Always put your daughter first... yourself second..., and never feel bad about it! You did the right thing

Sep 6th, 2008, 03:42 AM	#6
kcf68 Handbag Addict Location: Finally on the West Coast!!!	Yup! Don't think about poor little him, the money is for your child and for you to support her or him. Diapers, food, rent and all that is not cheap.

Sep 6th, 2008, 03:15 PM	#8
artjen Young @ Art Location: Arizona	Yes, you did the right thing by going through the proper channels. This way, if he should stop paying then you always have legal recourse. My ex-husband has paid child support for years, but he went through this phase where he quit his job and said he was going back to school for something else and took a minimum wage type job. It was ridiculous because he had a good career. Anyway, we ended up in court and he owed back support for not paying and the court said that he still needed to pay the regular amount. He ended up going back to his career. But if we didn't have paperwork throught the courts for child support, I would have been out of luck.

Sep 6th, 2008, 04:53 PM	#9
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Location: Beauty RAOK	Who the hell cares that his chest hurts?!! Certainly not me. If he's not man enough to take care of the decision that he chose to make (have sex with you which resulted in a child) then he is a coward. You absolutely did the right thing...This guy seems like a major creep. __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Sep 6th, 2008, 04:54 PM	#10
Sternchen We're having a boy!! Location: Beauty RAOK	Also...have you signed up for WIC?? There is no shame in applying for WIC since it is a program that will help you and your daughter get through these rough times...and you get a whole bunch of stuff for free!! I want to have WIC in Germany! It would seriously make things much easier __________________ My 2 wonderful girls, Nicole (5) and Julia (1) will be big sisters soon! My pregnancy blog

Sep 6th, 2008, 05:37 PM	#11
PurseFanatic Member	Thanks for the support ladies! You're all right. I live with my friends in a nice area of town, and there is an apartment complex here running a special through the end of the year. They just remodeled all their empty units and are giving you a month of free rent if you sign a 1 year contract. I can afford the rent with no problem, but not with daycare too. Plus he's talking about taking a promotion and moving to Washington state. Nothing against Washington state, but I only have a few girlfriends here and I don't want to move away from them, plus my brother is looking for a job here to be closer to me and his niece. He's been begging me to move with him, and I honestly feel I need to stay in a stable place right now where I'm happy and she can have the same people around her consistantly. I thought about WIC, they said I make too much money, which I wish they would let you take in a rent statement and a car statement at least and go off of that, but they go off income after taxes, before bills. Again thanks ladies, you're support is much appreciated. __________________ My sweetie's latest ultrasound pic It's a girl!! I'm due December 28!

Sep 6th, 2008, 06:55 PM	#12
kcf68 Handbag Addict Location: Finally on the West Coast!!!	He doesn't sound too stable and I didn't have too much luck with Washington state getting child support payments. You should have some stability in your life and good friends and family to help you. You will need it..

Sep 6th, 2008, 10:11 PM	#13
addicted2chanel Chanel not war Location: Anchorage, AK	I grew up in Washington, and my mother and my father seperated when I was about a year old, and my mom filed papers for child support, since my dad wouldn't give her any money, and because he got hit with those papers, he stopped working, or did work "under the table" to avoid paying for me. Because my dad did not pay, the state gave my mother welfare in replacement, and my dad now owes an excess of $10,000 to this day, and is paying it off little by little (even though he makes $8,000 a month) To this day he complains that "If it wasn't for you and your mom I wouldn't owe all this money." Needless to say, good luck if he moves to Washington. Secondly, you don't need him if he is going to act like that, let alone borrow money from the mother of his child WHILE PREGNANT. YOU need that money, NOT him. That baby is going to need diapers, clothes, food (depending on what you choose to feed her ) and you loaning him money isn't going to do it It sounds like he needs to step up to the plate and be a man! If I were you I would not move, I would do what you think is best for you and that precious baby! __________________ I want a rainbow of Jumbos I loved you, so I drew these tides of men into my hands and wrote my will across the sky in stars, To gain you Freedom, the seven-pillared worthy house, that your eyes might be shining for me, When I came. - T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence" of Arabia

Sep 7th, 2008, 11:04 PM	#14
ronsdiva Ohio Rules! Location: Maryland	You are doing the right thing. As has been stated, the money is for your precious DD and it due her. If Texas is like most states, the amount of the award will help, but it is not like it takes care of all or even a good portion of the cost to raise a child. States are much better cooperating with each other and enforcing child support orders from other states. It sounds like you have a support system in Texas, so I would encourage you to stay with your support system. If you went to Washington, who is to say he would not decide to move again. Children do best with stability. It hurts his chest???!!!! Hmmm, who is the one carrying the baby? __________________ Wishlist CL's- New Simples in wine, Black Pigalles 100, Black simple 85,Teal or deep purple decolletes, black patent VP's w burgandy tip & my HG Purple Suede Declics LV- Epi Alma in grenade Chanel- white caviar jumbo w gh & white cavier timeless clutch Chanel- Matte black reissue 227 04 228 w gh or Black caviar jumbo w gh Bal- rh part time in anthracite, marine or eb Hermes- Vif Argent scarf in rouge FARSCAPE LIVES GO BUCKS!