[merika]

Your friend sounds like she has no care or concern for the safety and well-being of her child.

[Tracy]

Originally Posted by gillianna

Can you check the sex offenders national list to see if this guys name is on it? So not normal for a guy to offer to watch a kid, red flags all over. She sounds like a person you can not talk sense to but is there any familymembers of hers you can talk with. You read about these guys wanting women with kids---easy mark for them.

this is a good thought about the sex offender registry, but some states don't give out this info. in massachusetts, the info on level 2 and 3 Sex off. is public. but not level 1.
and my other thought is that he could be one that has never been caught or arrested. thus, no record.

[Virgo]

I think its odd to leave your child in the care of a man you met a month ago. I understand why you are concerned but she's the mom and the best you can do is tell her how you feel.....oh and maybe get his full name and see if he's on a Megan's Law website.

[ChristyR143]

You have every right to be upset. Frankly, this kind of crap really scares me. I honestly have NO clue what would possess a woman to leave her precious child with some dude she's known for a month.

[PurseFanatic]

Honestly if it were someone I knew, I would call Child Protective Services to check the situation out.

My boyfriend called on his sister, and is so glad he did. VERY VERY LONG story.

[QueenOfDa702]

Thanks for responding everyone! I've decided that next time I talk to her Im going to tell her how I REALLY feel, and use some of the examples given here to really MAKE A POINT.

But, I have a feeling it will be a waste of breath. At least Ill know I tried!

Originally Posted by PurseFanatic

Honestly if it were someone I knew, I would call Child Protective Services to check the situation out.

My boyfriend called on his sister, and is so glad he did. VERY VERY LONG story.

My SO actually mentioned this too. She recently moved in with a friend(well, not really, again, a BAD character judgment on her part, but I wont get into it..) of hers in a different state(this is another thing that peeves me, shes ALWAYS uprooting this kid to a whole different environment!), and I think Im going to get her address(Ill tell her I want to send my God Son something.) and go ahead and call.

It cant hurt just to make a simple phone call!

[Charlie]

I am with you Val in this one. She does not know this guy good enough, I hope nothing bad happen to your godson. There are so many creepy people out there and something bad happens everyday to little kids because of their moms, because they are so needy of a guy they dont actually look out for their kids. I would be pissed too especially when this is not the first time she's done it, she has been with several guys right?, its not such a good example for the little boy either.

Originally Posted by Sternchen

It really depends. Is she a responsible mother who makes good choices for her son (other than this)? I would hope so. Since you're not there and you've never met this guy I think it's kind of hard to determine if this situation is good or not. He may be great with her son and her son may really like him...You just never know.

I'd actually give her the benefit of the doubt here and say that it's probably okay. If her son is happy, thriving and not showing any signs of abuse I can't think of anything that's really wrong with this situation. Isn't hiring a babysitter sort of the same thing? You know them for only that short time during the interview and then all of a sudden you're trusting them with the life of your child?

By reading the first post I'd think she is not responsible, she goes out with a lot of dudes and lets them watch her kid. That to me is not responsable. Also, because you never know you need to be extra careful in order to protect your kids.

Unfurtunately, most kids dont show any signs of abuse because they are threatened and because they are afraid people is not going to believe in them, sadly in many cases the family finds out the kid was being abused after they are dead.

Babysitters are not to be trusted either but at least they have references.

[dell]

I would NEVER leave my child with some random dude I have only known for a month... I just think some people should not have children. Unfortunately all you can do is voice your opinion, but only if you want to have that fight. Really, it isn't your place to tell her what to do. Honestly though, I am NOT the kind to keep my mouth shut

[VPT]

OMG he's a pothead ? Ohh then I'll take back my post. How well do you know her, do you know who her parents are? Maybe you can give them a heads up? I've come across several men who love children and volunteer to babysit, and they're far from being child molesters.
Smoking pot and babysitting don't go, it's worse than letting a prostitute babysit..
It just seems she's not putting her child's welfare as her top priority, probably doesn't care about him.

[lanasyogamama]

I feel bad for her son :(

I hope you are successful with your call.

[tmc089]

Def. make some calls, Val. Better safe than sorry.

Honestly though, to me it seems like she won't change her ways until it's too late. I completley agree with you and I would be mega-pissed too, but I'm sure you've tried to offer her insight on her horrible taste in guys, and I'm sure she was like "ya, whatev. he's different. we're like totally happy!" KWIM? I'm saying if she probably hasn't changed before, she probably won't change now...unless (god forbid) she gets a real big wakeup call. But sometimes things that serious are the things that really wake people up.

I wish you and her the best of luck though, keep us updated of course

[AlohaGirl01]

I would NEVER let a guy I was dating for 1 month watch anything of mine....esp. not my child. You can't know someone in 1 month...girl, guy....whatever. Even if he's not some weirdo, he could be irresponsible or just not know how you have to watch kids like a hawk so they don't get into anything and hurt themselves. I would not let my sister watch my son because she does not pay close enough attention to her own child whenever we go out....lets her walk waaaaaaaay behind us on busy sidewalks and turns her back on busy streets. She thinks I'm weird because I'm too over protective.

[QueenOfDa702]

Ok girls. Its useless. A waste of my breath. I talked to her on the phone for 45 minutes this morning, the entire time(besides the first 3 minutes when I asked her for her address) I was trying to talk some sense into her, gave her all the examples in the WORLD of what could happen. What did she say? "You always judge people before you know them, why cant you just trust me on this one?" Ugh! Its true, I am VERY quick to judge people, ESPECIALLY when it has to do with kids, but when it comes to the men in her life, and me judging them...I'VE NEVER BEEN WRONG!!

I told her that, "But I've never been wrong, have I?" she said, "No, but I promise you are with this one!" O-M-G. This is ridiculous! I told her "I've seen his MySpace, this guy is no good. Did you see his friend smoking weed next to him in his video?" She goes, "Oh, but he doesnt smoke" YEA RIGHT! Then I said, "Well, why does it say on his profile that he smokes AND drinks?" she said, "I dont know. He drinks, but he doesnt smoke." In reply I asked, "Not even cigarettes?" She goes, "Nope" So tell me why he would LIE on his profile? MySpace is one of those where you can find out a LOT about people just by their profile. This guy LOOKS like a pot head, oh did I mention, hes a "rapper"? I asked her, "How does he watch XOXO when you are at work? Does he not have a job of his own?" Ya'll, she had the nerve to say "He's between jobs" So, I pried some more, "What did he do before he was between jobs?" girls, SHE DOESNT KNOW!!!! She knows this guy SO WELL, but she doesnt even know where he worked before he was JOBLESS?!!? Or how about "Is he looking for a job?" She said, "He's focusing on his music right now." Ugh. Im so sick of her.

I contacted her Mom, she said "I've told her I dont know how many times not to introduce XOXO to all of her men, she just wont listen. Theres nothing I can do." I guess there's nothing I can do either, shes obviously a plain out IDIOT. I did get her address, so I will be giving a call to CPS in her state. But, if they are anything like the CPS here in Nevada, the call will be a waste of my breath. It doesnt hurt to try though. Ill keep you updated.

Im so frustrated! The fact that I cant do ANYTHING is driving me crazy! All I can do is sit and hope nothing happens.

[print*model]

You are a great friend for trying to help her see that what she's doing is wrong. I feel sorry for that baby. "In between jobs" means that he sits on his butt all day doing God knows what. I hope she comes to her senses before something happens to her son.

[Sternchen]

Now that I have read more about this girl, I take my original response back!