Welcome to The Purse Forum.

Cornflower Blue · Jul 31st, 2009, 06:30 PM

It's a war of attrition that won't last forever and there's only one winner.

I'd put it to him that he has 2 choices - his pants or the toilet. That's it. Keep calm and grin and bear it. When he's 18, he ain't going to be sh1tting in his pants. Chin up!

vhdos · Aug 1st, 2009, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by Cornflower Blue

It's a war of attrition that won't last forever and there's only one winner.

I'd put it to him that he has 2 choices - his pants or the toilet. That's it. Keep calm and grin and bear it. When he's 18, he ain't going to be sh1tting in his pants. Chin up!

Yes, DH and I laughed and said the same thing. The problem is that while he may not be pooping his pants at 18, he will be pooping his pants in front of 3 sets of grandparents (DH and I both have parents that are divorced and remarried, so we have 4 sets of grandparents) and lots of other family and friends while we are on vacation next week. It's not just that it's a tad bit embarrassing to have a 4 year-old who poops his pants, but it also adds an element of stress/anxiety to the vacation because we'll never know when he's going to have poop issues.

ilovepinkhearts · Aug 1st, 2009, 01:23 PM

^^then that is when you let them know in advance that he has had a small relapse and is having some accidents. and ask them for some advice and not to react to him in a negative way.

i know how frustrated you are. i was trying to get my then 3 yr old son completely potty trained when i was just pregnant with mack, so the morning sickness had kicked in and he started not pooping in the potty for a good week and a half unless i put him on the potty. so there were days that i had to call dh and he would have to come from work to clean him up. there was no way that i could clean him up and change him. i was gagging and almost throwing up just smelling it.

we just kept reassuring and asking him if he needed to go. thankfully he no longer has accidents like that, we just have to remind him to wipe his bottom...oh the joys of parent hood :)

Kelelanna · Sep 6th, 2009, 11:55 AM

I am soooo glad I found you're thread.

OMG! I feel your pain! I am going through the exact same thing with my 4 year old dear son.

I am beyond frustrated and today cried and completely lost it with him.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO! Please help me! What's working for you and is he still doing it?

Thanks.

K

vhdos · Sep 6th, 2009, 12:32 PM

Funny you should post. We have backed off of him the past few weeks and have allowed him to poop in his Pull Up (still peeing in the big potty though). Yesterday, we went back at it and had a stand-off for most of the day. The end result: 4 year-old boy wins again! We had absolutely NO success and I literally spent half my Saturday sitting in the bathroom. We have tried everything and we are absolutely dumbfounded with the whole situation. It ruined an entire Saturday and we still have nothing to show for it. I guess we'll back off again and try in a couple of weeks. I don't know how much more of this I can take...

LV Luvr · Sep 6th, 2009, 12:40 PM

^ So do you know when your son normally takes a poop? What I mean is it at the same time each day? I noticed with my DS that he poops when/after we feed him a meal. So I know this sounds gross, but if that is the case, could you feed him while he's on the pot and then wait for him to go?

Kelelanna · Sep 6th, 2009, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by vhdos

Funny you should post. We have backed off of him the past few weeks and have allowed him to poop in his Pull Up (still peeing in the big potty though). Yesterday, we went back at it and had a stand-off for most of the day. The end result: 4 year-old boy wins again! We had absolutely NO success and I literally spent half my Saturday sitting in the bathroom. We have tried everything and we are absolutely dumbfounded with the whole situation. It ruined an entire Saturday and we still have nothing to show for it. I guess we'll back off again and try in a couple of weeks. I don't know how much more of this I can take...

Vhdos,

Oh I feel you're pain so much! This thing with my son has been going on for what feels like forever. First we dismissed it at as him being distracted or lazy. Now, it's becoming an everyday occurrence. Please keep me posted. I so need the support! And if you need an ear, I'm here too.

Thanks!

vhdos · Sep 6th, 2009, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by LV Luvr

^ So do you know when your son normally takes a poop? What I mean is it at the same time each day? I noticed with my DS that he poops when/after we feed him a meal. So I know this sounds gross, but if that is the case, could you feed him while he's on the pot and then wait for him to go?

It's kind of at the same time, but no, he will just withhold it if he is forced to sit on the potty. I watched him yesterday like a hawk and every time he needed to go, I would sit him on the potty. This went on from about 9am-5pm when I finally gave up. Once he had the Pull Up on, he finally felt safe enough to poop and he went three separate times within about an hour or so.

vhdos · Sep 6th, 2009, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by Kelelanna

Vhdos,

Oh I feel you're pain so much! This thing with my son has been going on for what feels like forever. First we dismissed it at as him being distracted or lazy. Now, it's becoming an everyday occurrence. Please keep me posted. I so need the support! And if you need an ear, I'm here too.

Thanks!

Yes, DH and I were talking about this last night at dinner (how romantic...) and we've decided that there are two things with kids that parents have absolutely no control over. One is sleep and the other is going to the bathroom. No matter what you do, you can't make them do either one.
We dealt with sleep issues with our daughter an now the potty issues with our son. It's always something.

dell · Sep 6th, 2009, 07:02 PM

^ How does he feel if you just let him sit in it?? Is he grossed out? Does he want to be cleaned up?

If the mess bothers him, then what about letting him sit in it? He is old enough to understand that if he doesn't like the poop being on him, then maybe he should go in the potty!

Did you get him a small potty chair?

vhdos · Sep 6th, 2009, 07:12 PM

^no, he could care less if it sits in his underwear or Pull Up. I've tried leaving it in his underwear/Pull Up for a short time and the only thing it does is start to give him a diaper rash. And, yes, I got the small potty chair back out of storage (the one he originally potty trained with) thinking that he might be more comfortable using it instead of the big potty. Still no luck.

olialm1 · Sep 6th, 2009, 10:27 PM

This is interesting. He just randomly started to go in his pull-ups with no warning? I wonder if something triggered his want/need to only go in his pull up after he was fully potty trained. Have you tried giving him rewards? Or telling him he will get a prize if he goes in the potty? I hope this issue is resolved soon, it definitely sounds frustrating.

vhdos · Sep 7th, 2009, 10:19 AM

^Children sometimes associate a negative experience (like one painful BM for example) with the potty, which leads them to have a fear of the potty. My best guess is that he had a bit of constipation, a painful BM, and now a fear of using the potty.
And, yes, we've tried rewards and prizes. Awesome rewards/prizes in fact. His most favorite things are monster trucks and we have a huge, unopened monster truck sitting on the bathroom shelf so that he can see it when he's sitting on the potty. It's still not enough motivation to use the potty. If that hasn't worked, I don't know what will...

gucci fan · Sep 7th, 2009, 11:07 AM

I feel you! I cannot for the life of me get my daughter to poop in the toilet and she starts preschool next week. She is supposed to be completely potty trained when she starts. This is crazy stressful and nothing seems to work! I know she will be potty trained by the time she is an adult but I have to live with her now!

Kelelanna · Sep 7th, 2009, 12:07 PM

I feel a little better today. We decided to have him just sit on the potty at least for 10 mins, three times a day, even if he doesn't have to go. Yesterday nothing and just a lot of fighting between the two of us. This morning, success. He had a small BM.

Hopefully, if I remain supportive things will work out. Or who knows... tomorrow, I'll be b*tching and frustrated all over again.

Gucci Fan, I'm in the same boat. My DS starts tomorrow, so I have to let his teachers know that he's having bowel issues. *sigh*

Jul 31st, 2009, 06:30 PM	#16
Cornflower Blue Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,329	It's a war of attrition that won't last forever and there's only one winner. I'd put it to him that he has 2 choices - his pants or the toilet. That's it. Keep calm and grin and bear it. When he's 18, he ain't going to be sh1tting in his pants. Chin up!
Cornflower Blue Member Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 4,329

Aug 1st, 2009, 01:23 PM	#18
ilovepinkhearts team edward. always. Joined: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 4,390	^^then that is when you let them know in advance that he has had a small relapse and is having some accidents. and ask them for some advice and not to react to him in a negative way. i know how frustrated you are. i was trying to get my then 3 yr old son completely potty trained when i was just pregnant with mack, so the morning sickness had kicked in and he started not pooping in the potty for a good week and a half unless i put him on the potty. so there were days that i had to call dh and he would have to come from work to clean him up. there was no way that i could clean him up and change him. i was gagging and almost throwing up just smelling it. we just kept reassuring and asking him if he needed to go. thankfully he no longer has accidents like that, we just have to remind him to wipe his bottom...oh the joys of parent hood :)
	__________________ Please educate yourself about pancreatic cancer, and then share that knowledge with a loved one. http://www.pancan.org i will lose the weight...1 lb at a time!! i CAN do it! i'm not sure how many lbs to go - skinny jeans here i come!!

Sep 6th, 2009, 11:55 AM	#19
Kelelanna Hopelessly Addicted Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Handbag Heaven Posts: 935	I am soooo glad I found you're thread. OMG! I feel your pain! I am going through the exact same thing with my 4 year old dear son. I am beyond frustrated and today cried and completely lost it with him. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO! Please help me! What's working for you and is he still doing it? Thanks. K
	__________________

Sep 6th, 2009, 12:32 PM	#20
vhdos OP Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,137	Funny you should post. We have backed off of him the past few weeks and have allowed him to poop in his Pull Up (still peeing in the big potty though). Yesterday, we went back at it and had a stand-off for most of the day. The end result: 4 year-old boy wins again! We had absolutely NO success and I literally spent half my Saturday sitting in the bathroom. We have tried everything and we are absolutely dumbfounded with the whole situation. It ruined an entire Saturday and we still have nothing to show for it. I guess we'll back off again and try in a couple of weeks. I don't know how much more of this I can take...
	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Sep 6th, 2009, 12:40 PM	#21
LV Luvr Member Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,295	^ So do you know when your son normally takes a poop? What I mean is it at the same time each day? I noticed with my DS that he poops when/after we feed him a meal. So I know this sounds gross, but if that is the case, could you feed him while he's on the pot and then wait for him to go?
LV Luvr Member Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,295

Sep 6th, 2009, 07:02 PM	#25
dell Member Joined: May 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 5,430	^ How does he feel if you just let him sit in it?? Is he grossed out? Does he want to be cleaned up? If the mess bothers him, then what about letting him sit in it? He is old enough to understand that if he doesn't like the poop being on him, then maybe he should go in the potty! Did you get him a small potty chair?
	__________________ ~Danielle~

Sep 6th, 2009, 07:12 PM	#26
vhdos OP Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,137	^no, he could care less if it sits in his underwear or Pull Up. I've tried leaving it in his underwear/Pull Up for a short time and the only thing it does is start to give him a diaper rash. And, yes, I got the small potty chair back out of storage (the one he originally potty trained with) thinking that he might be more comfortable using it instead of the big potty. Still no luck.
	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Sep 6th, 2009, 10:27 PM	#27
olialm1 windy city Joined: Dec 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,544	This is interesting. He just randomly started to go in his pull-ups with no warning? I wonder if something triggered his want/need to only go in his pull up after he was fully potty trained. Have you tried giving him rewards? Or telling him he will get a prize if he goes in the potty? I hope this issue is resolved soon, it definitely sounds frustrating.
	__________________ make a difference! free rice

Sep 7th, 2009, 10:19 AM	#28
vhdos OP Member Joined: May 2007 Location: NC Posts: 3,137	^Children sometimes associate a negative experience (like one painful BM for example) with the potty, which leads them to have a fear of the potty. My best guess is that he had a bit of constipation, a painful BM, and now a fear of using the potty. And, yes, we've tried rewards and prizes. Awesome rewards/prizes in fact. His most favorite things are monster trucks and we have a huge, unopened monster truck sitting on the bathroom shelf so that he can see it when he's sitting on the potty. It's still not enough motivation to use the potty. If that hasn't worked, I don't know what will...
	__________________ visit Bonanzle.com

Sep 7th, 2009, 11:07 AM	#29
gucci fan Member Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Washington DC area Posts: 3,736	I feel you! I cannot for the life of me get my daughter to poop in the toilet and she starts preschool next week. She is supposed to be completely potty trained when she starts. This is crazy stressful and nothing seems to work! I know she will be potty trained by the time she is an adult but I have to live with her now!

Sep 7th, 2009, 12:07 PM	#30
Kelelanna Hopelessly Addicted Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Handbag Heaven Posts: 935	I feel a little better today. We decided to have him just sit on the potty at least for 10 mins, three times a day, even if he doesn't have to go. Yesterday nothing and just a lot of fighting between the two of us. This morning, success. He had a small BM. Hopefully, if I remain supportive things will work out. Or who knows... tomorrow, I'll be btching and frustrated all over again. Gucci Fan, I'm in the same boat. My DS starts tomorrow, so I have to let his teachers know that he's having bowel issues. sigh*
	__________________

Welcome to The Purse Forum.

Our Purse Forum, or TPF, is the #1 online social network for everything designer handbag related. Join over 200,000 enthusiastic members in this friendly community and start engaging in the discussion today.