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angfento · Sep 22nd, 2009, 11:46 AM

So my hubby and I are trying to decide how much time he will take off after our LO is born. What did your DH or sig other do?
We are considering 1 week off, then 2 weeks part time working afternoons, so that way he can help in the middle of the night feedings/changings, and still get a little sleep?

I plan on breastfeeding, but he said he wants to help out as much as he can, bless his heart! So his plan is to change and diaper and rock her back to sleep if necessary, etc. Our plan is to have her in the co-sleeper next to our bed for the first few weeks, so his sleep will be interrupted even if he isn't changing her.

This is our first and I have no idea what to expect!
I just don't think he needs to go to work THAT sleep deprived if we can prevent it as much as possible. We figured if we had 12 hrs to get 6-7 hrs of sleep rather than him trying to get up at 6am, and only barely getting 4 hrs of restless sleep, then it's worth him working part time.
It would fall under FMLA, so he would still be using paid sick/vacation time.

sweetneet · Sep 22nd, 2009, 02:15 PM

right now my DH is planning to take about 3 weeks off...use 2 weeks vacation plus take a few "sick" days (apparently 3 sick days per year can be used to care for a sick or recovering relative, i'm sure birth of new baby falls under that category!). then once that is done he will go back to work full-time, but he works from home so that should make things a lot easier (no need to wake up early to commute, can help out in the middle of the day, etc).

this is our first too and we have no idea what to expect either. 3 weeks off may sound like a lot but i figure i will need all the help i can get, given that we have no family in the area at all. around the time of the baby's birth my parents and in-laws will be flying in and staying for a week or two but after that we are all on our own.

and we plan on using a co-sleeper in our bedroom too (arm's reach), at least for the first few months. we may use the crib in his nursery too for when he sleeps during the day.

iamsmilin · Sep 22nd, 2009, 03:53 PM

It also depends on the birth. If you have a normal vaginal delivery w/out complications then you will need less help. If you have complications or a c-section you will need your hubby to help a lot. I would say aim for 2 weeks but be flexible when the time comes.

angfento · Sep 22nd, 2009, 04:36 PM

Thanks!

Yep sweetneet , we are using arms reach also.

My Mom is going to be there also, but I figured I wouldn't ask for her help throughout the night. I was really more concerned about DH getting his rest! I just want to make sure we weren't trying ot get it to go back too early!
But I guess that's really the one thing you learn as a parent- how to survive without sleep right?

everything posh · Sep 22nd, 2009, 04:37 PM

Two weeks sounds good if you have a vaginal delivery. My hubby works from home and he stayed up with both my girls when they were born. He only woke me to pump milk so that I could get some sleep.

LV Luvr · Sep 22nd, 2009, 09:39 PM

Had a c section. DS took the first week off when i was home. then mom came over. he also took 2 weeks with DS when i went back to work. that was awesome to see!

NoSnowHere · Sep 22nd, 2009, 09:42 PM

Mine took 2 weeks off. In fact, he returns Friday. :(

Sternchen · Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:48 AM

To be honest, I think that's a little short. If your husband can swing it I'd say around 3 weeks. That way you both have time to get adjusted to parent-life and you have help around for those days where you just want to rip all your hair out and jump out of the window. I know you said your mom will be there, but it's nice when hubby is there too

Baby Boo · Sep 23rd, 2009, 02:29 AM

my mum is taking 2 weeks off to help and then hubby is plannin on taking a week and then when mum goes back to work another week but in the break he will try and work half days.. they are not very lenient here on off days

Lilwalnut · Sep 23rd, 2009, 11:48 AM

With our DS, we were lucky...we were in the middle of moving to a new state so between getting time off for the move and time off for the new baby, DH had 6 weeks off from work! That was a tremendous blessing, especially with DS being our first!!

This time, he will only take 2 weeks off

BlkLadyLaw · Sep 23rd, 2009, 11:52 AM

a month if we can swing it
he has worked for the government fro many years and has like 4 months of leave stored up combined vacation and sick!
maybe 2 weeks in the beginning and then maybe 2 weeks when I go back to work or use the 2 weeks of leave to work part-time for a while

my mom and grandma are considering relocating from another state to move nearby me to help with childcare

irainei · Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:12 PM

Be sure to have him check paternity leave availability/policies (if you have a DH like mine who doesn't ask about things like that LOL)! DH didn't know he could take it until someone in his office mentioned it and then he checked with HR. Our plan is that he will take up to a week off after I give birth, and then when I go back to work, he will go on paternity leave, which is a blessing because it means our kiddo will have at least 3 months with one of his parents at home 24/7 (my mom/inlaws are going to also be helping us during this time).

omgsweet · Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:48 PM

Thats awesome that you're husband is taking off work! My husband's work argued with him when he couldn't go to work because I was in the hospital having Belle. The day he brought us home, he literally dropped my bags on the floor and ran out the door for work. I sat there crying because I was overwhelmed and had no idea what I was doing.

He did better when we had our son.

Congrats on the new baby! It's so exciting!

Rockst@r · Sep 24th, 2009, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by omgsweet

Thats awesome that you're husband is taking off work! My husband's work argued with him when he couldn't go to work because I was in the hospital having Belle. The day he brought us home, he literally dropped my bags on the floor and ran out the door for work. I sat there crying because I was overwhelmed and had no idea what I was doing.

He did better when we had our son.

Congrats on the new baby! It's so exciting!

That's terrible! And I would have been pissed with his job! I guess they don't have families???

Rockst@r · Sep 24th, 2009, 09:15 AM

DH took a week with DD. I did all the middle of the night stuff because I was on maternity leave and home and I knew he needed his rest for work. With DS, my mom had me come over and stay with her for a week, so DH was only off a few days. I had a tubal ligation right after DS and had a harder time going up and down the stairs. Generally I was ok with both kids since they were both vaginal and no complications.

The amount of time needed depends on your situation. If you have a C-section, if complications, if you feel more overwhelmed...it's a very personal decision. Some women are fine from the moment the child is born and the SO goes right back to work.

Ideally, a month of paid leave would be nice though!

Sep 22nd, 2009, 11:46 AM	#1
angfento OP Happy Momma! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 667	How much time should DH take off? So my hubby and I are trying to decide how much time he will take off after our LO is born. What did your DH or sig other do? We are considering 1 week off, then 2 weeks part time working afternoons, so that way he can help in the middle of the night feedings/changings, and still get a little sleep? I plan on breastfeeding, but he said he wants to help out as much as he can, bless his heart! So his plan is to change and diaper and rock her back to sleep if necessary, etc. Our plan is to have her in the co-sleeper next to our bed for the first few weeks, so his sleep will be interrupted even if he isn't changing her. This is our first and I have no idea what to expect! I just don't think he needs to go to work THAT sleep deprived if we can prevent it as much as possible. We figured if we had 12 hrs to get 6-7 hrs of sleep rather than him trying to get up at 6am, and only barely getting 4 hrs of restless sleep, then it's worth him working part time. It would fall under FMLA, so he would still be using paid sick/vacation time.
angfento OP Happy Momma! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 667	__________________

Sep 22nd, 2009, 02:15 PM	#2
sweetneet 妊娠してるの！ Joined: Aug 2007 Location: at IKEA ♫ Posts: 5,950	right now my DH is planning to take about 3 weeks off...use 2 weeks vacation plus take a few "sick" days (apparently 3 sick days per year can be used to care for a sick or recovering relative, i'm sure birth of new baby falls under that category!). then once that is done he will go back to work full-time, but he works from home so that should make things a lot easier (no need to wake up early to commute, can help out in the middle of the day, etc). this is our first too and we have no idea what to expect either. 3 weeks off may sound like a lot but i figure i will need all the help i can get, given that we have no family in the area at all. around the time of the baby's birth my parents and in-laws will be flying in and staying for a week or two but after that we are all on our own. and we plan on using a co-sleeper in our bedroom too (arm's reach), at least for the first few months. we may use the crib in his nursery too for when he sleeps during the day.
	__________________

Sep 22nd, 2009, 03:53 PM	#3
iamsmilin Member Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 716	It also depends on the birth. If you have a normal vaginal delivery w/out complications then you will need less help. If you have complications or a c-section you will need your hubby to help a lot. I would say aim for 2 weeks but be flexible when the time comes.
iamsmilin Member Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 716

Sep 22nd, 2009, 04:36 PM	#4
angfento OP Happy Momma! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 667	Thanks! Yep sweetneet , we are using arms reach also. My Mom is going to be there also, but I figured I wouldn't ask for her help throughout the night. I was really more concerned about DH getting his rest! I just want to make sure we weren't trying ot get it to go back too early! But I guess that's really the one thing you learn as a parent- how to survive without sleep right?
angfento OP Happy Momma! Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 667	__________________

Sep 22nd, 2009, 04:37 PM	#5
everything posh Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago, Athens, London, San Jose!! Posts: 1,659	Two weeks sounds good if you have a vaginal delivery. My hubby works from home and he stayed up with both my girls when they were born. He only woke me to pump milk so that I could get some sleep.
	__________________

Sep 22nd, 2009, 09:39 PM	#6
LV Luvr Member Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,295	Had a c section. DS took the first week off when i was home. then mom came over. he also took 2 weeks with DS when i went back to work. that was awesome to see!
LV Luvr Member Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,295

Sep 22nd, 2009, 09:42 PM	#7
NoSnowHere ~LV L♥ve~ Joined: Feb 2007 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 5,654	Mine took 2 weeks off. In fact, he returns Friday. :(

Sep 23rd, 2009, 12:48 AM	#8
Sternchen Proud mama of 3! Joined: May 2006 Location: Bavaria, Germany Posts: 13,943	To be honest, I think that's a little short. If your husband can swing it I'd say around 3 weeks. That way you both have time to get adjusted to parent-life and you have help around for those days where you just want to rip all your hair out and jump out of the window. I know you said your mom will be there, but it's nice when hubby is there too
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Sep 23rd, 2009, 02:29 AM	#9
Baby Boo addicted to TPF Joined: Dec 2005 Location: Middle East Posts: 8,229	my mum is taking 2 weeks off to help and then hubby is plannin on taking a week and then when mum goes back to work another week but in the break he will try and work half days.. they are not very lenient here on off days
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Sep 23rd, 2009, 11:48 AM	#10
Lilwalnut Miracles do exist! Joined: Jun 2007 Location: NJ & NoVA Posts: 737	With our DS, we were lucky...we were in the middle of moving to a new state so between getting time off for the move and time off for the new baby, DH had 6 weeks off from work! That was a tremendous blessing, especially with DS being our first!! This time, he will only take 2 weeks off
	__________________

Sep 23rd, 2009, 11:52 AM	#11
BlkLadyLaw Haute Legal Diva Joined: Apr 2006 Location: Washington DC metro Posts: 2,495	a month if we can swing it he has worked for the government fro many years and has like 4 months of leave stored up combined vacation and sick! maybe 2 weeks in the beginning and then maybe 2 weeks when I go back to work or use the 2 weeks of leave to work part-time for a while my mom and grandma are considering relocating from another state to move nearby me to help with childcare
	__________________ Due Jan. 2, 2010 It's a boy!

Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:12 PM	#12
irainei Kissy Face! Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,167	Be sure to have him check paternity leave availability/policies (if you have a DH like mine who doesn't ask about things like that LOL)! DH didn't know he could take it until someone in his office mentioned it and then he checked with HR. Our plan is that he will take up to a week off after I give birth, and then when I go back to work, he will go on paternity leave, which is a blessing because it means our kiddo will have at least 3 months with one of his parents at home 24/7 (my mom/inlaws are going to also be helping us during this time).
irainei Kissy Face! Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,167	__________________ Offspring of a Purseaholic...I was doomed from birth Scentsy! The Hottest New Thing in Candles! Our candles are wickless, flameless, smokeless and lead-free! Visit my website at www.scentsy.com/Raine!

Sep 23rd, 2009, 01:48 PM	#13
omgsweet omg...cute bag!! Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Scottsdale, Az Posts: 2,963	Thats awesome that you're husband is taking off work! My husband's work argued with him when he couldn't go to work because I was in the hospital having Belle. The day he brought us home, he literally dropped my bags on the floor and ran out the door for work. I sat there crying because I was overwhelmed and had no idea what I was doing. He did better when we had our son. Congrats on the new baby! It's so exciting!
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Sep 24th, 2009, 09:15 AM	#15
Rockst@r Zeta lady 4ever Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 932	DH took a week with DD. I did all the middle of the night stuff because I was on maternity leave and home and I knew he needed his rest for work. With DS, my mom had me come over and stay with her for a week, so DH was only off a few days. I had a tubal ligation right after DS and had a harder time going up and down the stairs. Generally I was ok with both kids since they were both vaginal and no complications. The amount of time needed depends on your situation. If you have a C-section, if complications, if you feel more overwhelmed...it's a very personal decision. Some women are fine from the moment the child is born and the SO goes right back to work. Ideally, a month of paid leave would be nice though!
	__________________

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