How do you cope with first pregnancy after miscarriage?

fashion16 · Jul 16th, 2008, 10:34 AM

I just found out I am pregnant again

. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in February and I am scared to death this time around. If anyone has experienced a full term pregnancy after a miscarriage, I would love to hear your advice for how you kept your sanity and didn't stress.

TIA!

divadivine682 · Jul 16th, 2008, 11:00 AM

Unfortuantely I don't have advice for you but I just wanted to say good luck! I understand you being nervous, IM nervous and I've never had a miscarrige, those worries will always be there. You just have to know in your heart things will be ok and try not to worry!

Mrs. MC · Jul 16th, 2008, 11:17 AM

My advice would be to focus on everything healthy that you can do for yourself and the baby and stay off the internet, it will drive you crazy reading about all of the things that could possibly happen ! Try to stay positive, being pregnant is stressful and every day is about survival, I know this from having 2 very high risk pregnancies and also both pregnancies my car was hit while I was stopped at a red light 5 car accident, the 2nd my car was hit while stopped at a stop sign going on to a highway another 4 car accident. I ended up at the hospital both times thinking that I would deliver early or something was wrong with the baby. It is natural to worry all the time and having been through the trauma that you already went through I don't blame you for being nervous. I know many people who had 1st pregnancy miscarriages and went on to have 3 or 4 kids afterward with no problems. Best wishes to you

BagLadie · Jul 16th, 2008, 12:28 PM

Oh I can relate to this. My first pregnancy resulted in a beautiful baby boy (who is now 10). I got pregnant after him about a year or so later and never thought anything would go wrong. I told everyone about my pregnancy and was super excited. Then I lost the baby. I was only about 8 weeks but it was one of the biggest losses of my life. My whole body was sad. I cried for a week straight. I got pregnant again about 3 months later and had another beautiful healthy boy but that pregnancy was the worst. I was so neurotic and read too many books. I was scared everyday that I was going to lose the baby. I checked off each day that went by and lived in fear. Other than that I had a good pregnancy. I had another baby after that one but was just as anxious with that pregnancy too.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can relax enough to enjoy your pregnancy..it really is the best time of your life and it sucks when fear of losing it ruins it. My advice to you would be not to google or read too much.

ahertz · Jul 16th, 2008, 01:25 PM

The good news is that almost EVERYONE experiences a full term pregnancy after one miscarriage!

I recommend you try to do things that make you really happy for those first couple of weeks. Once you've heard the baby's heartbeat, then it's time to relax and know you're likely in the clear. I've had several miscarriages and the only way to take on a new pregnancy is to think positively and keep the best thoughts in your head. I have several girlfriends who had one miscarriage and have gone on to have two healthy pregnancies in a row. Keep in mind, the odds are in your favor!

Most importantly, STAY AWAY from the internet health sites. Nothing makes you feel worse than when you run to the internet after feeling a weird pang and by the time you're done diagnosing yourself, you're convinced you have shingles or measles or something equally as unlikely!

ive_flipped · Jul 16th, 2008, 04:19 PM

Everyone here has the best advice- stay away from the web sites. Best wishes to you

sosti · Jul 16th, 2008, 05:05 PM

i am in the same boat.. i had a miscarriage in february and now i am 12 weeks..i am trying to not think about it that much and just focus on eating right and going on with my regular life. I feel like if I don't think about the pregnancy so much it will be ok...i guess that is just my way of coping. Good luck to you.

everything posh · Jul 16th, 2008, 05:56 PM

Don't really have any advice to give, just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and to congratulate you on your pregnancy!

The girls here are great and I'm sure will give you great advice.

sarahsar · Jul 16th, 2008, 06:29 PM

Congratulations on your pregnancy, fashion!

I haven't yet made it to full-term, but I am currently about 28 weeks along after my last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks. The first trimester of this pregnancy was nerve-wracking, no doubt about it, but the odds are very, very good that everything will be okay for you.

A miscarriage is a devastating thing, but one thing that helped me this time was to realize that every pregnancy is such a miracle (in my case, it seemed to me especially so with infertility, IVF, and all of that). If you are stressed and worried and afraid and the worst happens, is that really any better than if you are happy and excited and the worst happens? Either way, it is a horrible thing to go through. So I tried to have the attitude of enjoying it and being happy, even with those worries in the back of my mind. I can't say I always pulled it off, but I tried. And I second those who say to stay away from too many web sites - my husband would have to literally drag me away from the internet sometimes because I managed to come up with some new "pregnoia" issue all the time.

Take good care of yourself, be happy, and again, congratulations!

fashion16 · Jul 16th, 2008, 06:35 PM

You ladies are great. Thank you so much. I will take your advice...stay off the internet. Got it.

Again, thank you!

bagaddict44 · Jul 17th, 2008, 01:58 PM

I know what you are going through... I had a m/c in aug 06 and got pregnant again in dec 06.. had my son in sept 07. Try not to stress too much.. I know its hard cause you are so afraid it is going to happen again.. just take it one day at a time. Try not to read too much on the internet like the other posters have said.. just remember that the chance of you haing another m/c are very slim. Best of luck with your pregnancy. congrats!

ChristyR143 · Jul 17th, 2008, 02:00 PM

I have had 3 pregnancies, one of which was a miscarriage. First pregnancy went full term, but I ended up very sick with HELLP Syndrome. Second pregnancy was the miscarriage. It was due to a partial molar pregnancy. Third pregnancy went perfectly. My advice would be to focus on the positive, do things that you know are healthy for the baby, and prayer (if you believe in that). I tried to remind myself that while the miscarriage was a heartbreaking experience, it was my body's way of taking care of something that wasn't right. For me, it helped. And yes, stay off the internet, lol!!!

Congrats on your pregnancy, btw!!

hipnycmom · Jul 17th, 2008, 04:20 PM

Hi fashion,

I had 2 full-term pregnancies and then a 3rd that ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. It took me a while to get over my miscarriage and to be willing to try again. I got pregnant 9 months later, and delivered a happy, healthy baby girl at 37 weeks:)
I'm a physician so i didn't need to log on to the internet sites to know what could go wrong. To try to keep from getting paranoid I just took things 1 day at a time.

Also, TPF was a wonderful distraction

Looking at purses is a great way to keep yourself preoccupied.

twin53 · Jul 17th, 2008, 07:34 PM

i also had a m/c between 2 fulll term pregnancies. i was almost 3 months. quite a shock. but my mom is an RN-MSN and told me it was just nature's way. i think about what could have been once in a while but i don't dwell on it. i cherish my 2 boys more because of it. good luck!

deweydrop · Jul 18th, 2008, 01:07 PM

I had 2 miscarriages (one at 6w, the other at 8 weeks, but I didn't find out until nearly 12 weeks)...and am now 28 weeks pregnant.

I saw the doc (who did my D&C after my last miscarraige) at my appointment earlier this week...he said he was so pleased to see me carrying a pregnancy...and I told him I still get worried. he just laughed and said the only thing I need to worry about now is labor and my soon to come infant!

whatever, I still stress...I think it's unavoidable if you've been in the situation!

congrats again and best of luck.

Jul 16th, 2008, 10:34 AM	#1
fashion16 Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 829	How do you cope with first pregnancy after miscarriage? I just found out I am pregnant again . My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in February and I am scared to death this time around. If anyone has experienced a full term pregnancy after a miscarriage, I would love to hear your advice for how you kept your sanity and didn't stress. TIA!

Jul 16th, 2008, 11:00 AM	#2
divadivine682 has the baby bump!! Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Fabulous New York! Posts: 737	Unfortuantely I don't have advice for you but I just wanted to say good luck! I understand you being nervous, IM nervous and I've never had a miscarrige, those worries will always be there. You just have to know in your heart things will be ok and try not to worry! __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 11:17 AM	#3
Mrs. MC Member Joined: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,775	My advice would be to focus on everything healthy that you can do for yourself and the baby and stay off the internet, it will drive you crazy reading about all of the things that could possibly happen ! Try to stay positive, being pregnant is stressful and every day is about survival, I know this from having 2 very high risk pregnancies and also both pregnancies my car was hit while I was stopped at a red light 5 car accident, the 2nd my car was hit while stopped at a stop sign going on to a highway another 4 car accident. I ended up at the hospital both times thinking that I would deliver early or something was wrong with the baby. It is natural to worry all the time and having been through the trauma that you already went through I don't blame you for being nervous. I know many people who had 1st pregnancy miscarriages and went on to have 3 or 4 kids afterward with no problems. Best wishes to you __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 12:28 PM	#4
BagLadie Got a handle on it Joined: Nov 2006 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 4,528	Oh I can relate to this. My first pregnancy resulted in a beautiful baby boy (who is now 10). I got pregnant after him about a year or so later and never thought anything would go wrong. I told everyone about my pregnancy and was super excited. Then I lost the baby. I was only about 8 weeks but it was one of the biggest losses of my life. My whole body was sad. I cried for a week straight. I got pregnant again about 3 months later and had another beautiful healthy boy but that pregnancy was the worst. I was so neurotic and read too many books. I was scared everyday that I was going to lose the baby. I checked off each day that went by and lived in fear. Other than that I had a good pregnancy. I had another baby after that one but was just as anxious with that pregnancy too. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can relax enough to enjoy your pregnancy..it really is the best time of your life and it sucks when fear of losing it ruins it. My advice to you would be not to google or read too much. __________________ "I won't quit to become someone's old lady." - Janis Joplin

Jul 16th, 2008, 01:25 PM	#5
ahertz Member Joined: Jul 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,142	The good news is that almost EVERYONE experiences a full term pregnancy after one miscarriage! I recommend you try to do things that make you really happy for those first couple of weeks. Once you've heard the baby's heartbeat, then it's time to relax and know you're likely in the clear. I've had several miscarriages and the only way to take on a new pregnancy is to think positively and keep the best thoughts in your head. I have several girlfriends who had one miscarriage and have gone on to have two healthy pregnancies in a row. Keep in mind, the odds are in your favor! Most importantly, STAY AWAY from the internet health sites. Nothing makes you feel worse than when you run to the internet after feeling a weird pang and by the time you're done diagnosing yourself, you're convinced you have shingles or measles or something equally as unlikely! __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 04:19 PM	#6
ive_flipped innie or outtie lol? Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!! lol Posts: 1,243	Everyone here has the best advice- stay away from the web sites. Best wishes to you __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 05:05 PM	#7
sosti bag obsessed! Joined: Dec 2006 Location: New York Posts: 663	i am in the same boat.. i had a miscarriage in february and now i am 12 weeks..i am trying to not think about it that much and just focus on eating right and going on with my regular life. I feel like if I don't think about the pregnancy so much it will be ok...i guess that is just my way of coping. Good luck to you.

Jul 16th, 2008, 05:56 PM	#8
everything posh Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago, Athens, London, San Jose!! Posts: 644	Don't really have any advice to give, just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and to congratulate you on your pregnancy! The girls here are great and I'm sure will give you great advice. __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 06:29 PM	#9
sarahsar In LVoe Joined: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,208	Congratulations on your pregnancy, fashion! I haven't yet made it to full-term, but I am currently about 28 weeks along after my last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks. The first trimester of this pregnancy was nerve-wracking, no doubt about it, but the odds are very, very good that everything will be okay for you. A miscarriage is a devastating thing, but one thing that helped me this time was to realize that every pregnancy is such a miracle (in my case, it seemed to me especially so with infertility, IVF, and all of that). If you are stressed and worried and afraid and the worst happens, is that really any better than if you are happy and excited and the worst happens? Either way, it is a horrible thing to go through. So I tried to have the attitude of enjoying it and being happy, even with those worries in the back of my mind. I can't say I always pulled it off, but I tried. And I second those who say to stay away from too many web sites - my husband would have to literally drag me away from the internet sometimes because I managed to come up with some new "pregnoia" issue all the time. Take good care of yourself, be happy, and again, congratulations! __________________

Jul 16th, 2008, 06:35 PM	#10
fashion16 Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 829	You ladies are great. Thank you so much. I will take your advice...stay off the internet. Got it. Again, thank you!

Jul 17th, 2008, 01:58 PM	#11
bagaddict44 Member Joined: Dec 2006 Location: California Posts: 218	I know what you are going through... I had a m/c in aug 06 and got pregnant again in dec 06.. had my son in sept 07. Try not to stress too much.. I know its hard cause you are so afraid it is going to happen again.. just take it one day at a time. Try not to read too much on the internet like the other posters have said.. just remember that the chance of you haing another m/c are very slim. Best of luck with your pregnancy. congrats! __________________ LV Wish list-2008 mono keepall 55 mono batignolles vertical-purchased 7/08 mono zippy coin purse- purchased 9/08 mono key and change holder-purchased 6/08

Jul 17th, 2008, 02:00 PM	#12
ChristyR143 But it was on sale!! Joined: Aug 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 2,781	I have had 3 pregnancies, one of which was a miscarriage. First pregnancy went full term, but I ended up very sick with HELLP Syndrome. Second pregnancy was the miscarriage. It was due to a partial molar pregnancy. Third pregnancy went perfectly. My advice would be to focus on the positive, do things that you know are healthy for the baby, and prayer (if you believe in that). I tried to remind myself that while the miscarriage was a heartbreaking experience, it was my body's way of taking care of something that wasn't right. For me, it helped. And yes, stay off the internet, lol!!! Congrats on your pregnancy, btw!! __________________

Jul 17th, 2008, 04:20 PM	#13
hipnycmom Member Joined: Feb 2007 Location: Asia Posts: 1,699	Hi fashion, I had 2 full-term pregnancies and then a 3rd that ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. It took me a while to get over my miscarriage and to be willing to try again. I got pregnant 9 months later, and delivered a happy, healthy baby girl at 37 weeks:) I'm a physician so i didn't need to log on to the internet sites to know what could go wrong. To try to keep from getting paranoid I just took things 1 day at a time. Also, TPF was a wonderful distraction Looking at purses is a great way to keep yourself preoccupied.

Jul 17th, 2008, 07:34 PM	#14
twin53 Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,808	i also had a m/c between 2 fulll term pregnancies. i was almost 3 months. quite a shock. but my mom is an RN-MSN and told me it was just nature's way. i think about what could have been once in a while but i don't dwell on it. i cherish my 2 boys more because of it. good luck!

Jul 18th, 2008, 01:07 PM	#15
deweydrop Coach wh*re Joined: Nov 2006 Location: CT Posts: 1,811	I had 2 miscarriages (one at 6w, the other at 8 weeks, but I didn't find out until nearly 12 weeks)...and am now 28 weeks pregnant. I saw the doc (who did my D&C after my last miscarraige) at my appointment earlier this week...he said he was so pleased to see me carrying a pregnancy...and I told him I still get worried. he just laughed and said the only thing I need to worry about now is labor and my soon to come infant! whatever, I still stress...I think it's unavoidable if you've been in the situation! congrats again and best of luck. __________________