[abaglover]

Originally Posted by SwankyMamaof3

I'm most bothered by his stance on this. Franky, he's acting like an adolescent.
If he can't get what he wants, then he wants nothing?

Here's the thing. . .
don't y'all want some children to grow old w/. . . and when you're 70 don't you want grandchildren to spoil?
My DH didn't want kids when we met.
I said:
"so, who's going to keep you company when you're 50, 60, 70, 80? Not your parent, they'll be gone, not your brother, you rarely see him now. You'll be a lonely old, rich man. . . . Enjoy that!"
Oddly enough. . . this is what convinced him!

Who said you can't have 2 anyhow? Women over 35 are more likely to conceive twins!

You're NOT too old sweetie. . . he HAS to look at the big picture - and that is life w/ children and grandchildren and baseball games and play-doh and dress-up . . . or not.

Yes, yes!! I was just going to type this when I read this in SwankyMama's post! So good luck, okay?

[Shelley]

Originally Posted by KittyBag

I found this today (while searching a completly different subject) and immediately thought of you!

Ethan's Top Five Reasons To Be Happy about the Prospect of Being an Older Parent:

1. Older parents are less likely to be competitive with their children. Fifty-year-old fathers don't try to beat their 17-year-old sons at basketball. (At least, they don't try twice.) Fifty-year-old mothers don't hope to be mistaken for their daughter's sister. A 30-plus-year age gap between child and parent allows enough separation so that the relationship doesn't turn creepy.

2. Maturity is a more valuable parenting asset than physical stamina. Yes, parenting is a physical challenge but it is first and foremost an emotional challenge. Having the energy to weather the many crises of raising children is less important than having the poise to stay calm throughout.

3. (Ancillary to #1) As an older parent, you are less likely to embarrass your teenage sons and daughters by trying to act "cool," "street," or "hip." Being uncool is your destiny as a parent. Age lets you wear the mantle with dignity and grace.

4. Older parents are less likely to struggle financially. While money doesn't buy happiness for a child, it does buy pretty much everything else.

5. Older parents have more wisdom to pass along to their children. Twenty-five-year-olds may think they're adults in full but 35-year-olds know better.

First of all, 35 is not too old to be having children at all

As for the rest, I feel I'm in the minority having a daughter in my 20s.
I couldn't even imagine having a "creepy" relationship w/ my daughter, I don't even know what you're referring to.

Maturity isn't soley based upon age, experience, education, & common sense all serve as vital factors in raising your children.

Even in our 20s we were financially secure enough for me to be a stay at home mom and raise my own child, plus my husband only works 14 days a month, so he's home at alot as well.

Once again parental wisdom is condusive to education, tolerance, loving kindness, & common sense.

One can be a great parent in their 20s, it's not abornmal to do so.

As long as you're good parents, in my opinion it doesn't matter at all what age you are. You just love your kids and do the best you can.

[fuyumi]

I know of a few who have kids at the 30 age line. It's never too late to improve things and since you both have waited so long, I believe once you 2 have a child it would be all so worth it. Just get yourself ready by having a healthy diet and having a child at an older age means more care and concern.

[bettiney]

Twinkette, I myself have endometriosis AND adenomyosis. I had fertility work up but all those failed. Guess what. Just when I gave up, i got pregnant and i have a lovely one year old baby.
Just give it a try. You never know.

[Twinklette]

Bettiney! Wow what a wonderful story and so uplifting! all your thoughts make me feel much better. Going on vacation w/DH next week alone, so we'll have plenty of time to talk (and hopefully TRY lots lol).

My GYN checked my fallopian tubes/ovaries last time I had surgery about 2 yrs ago and said everything was working perfectly. My uterus is perfect too. So would much have changed since then?

As for a fertility workup, where would I inquire about that, at the GYN's office? Thanks!

[Swanky Mama Of Three]

Ask about getting a hysterosalpinogram. They shoot dye through your tubes and watch it on a monitor, it'll show if it tends to get stuck anywhere.
This tends to 'clean the cobwebs out' as well. I had one and the next month was on my first month of the lowest dosage of Clomid and got immediately pregnant w/ my daughter!
Sometimes the hysterosalpinogram just cleans the tubes enough!

[Wildflower]

We have one daughter and that's it. I was 30 and my hubby was 45 when she was born. (He was married before, but no kids.)

Many of our friends are in their late 30's/early 40's and just now starting families. My SIL had my nephew when she was 42.

[Wildflower]

Originally Posted by bettiney

Twinkette, I myself have endometriosis AND adenomyosis. I had fertility work up but all those failed. Guess what. Just when I gave up, i got pregnant and i have a lovely one year old baby.
Just give it a try. You never know.

My hubby and I tried for YEARS and went through infertility hell. We were actually turned down for In vitro fertilization. We finally gave up and decided to adopt from Romania -- two weeks before we were supposed to leave, they stopped all flights. We gave up completely after that.

A year later, I got pregnant after being told my chances of getting pregnant were practically nil. And the baby is going to be 15 in November!

[Japster]

Originally Posted by SwankyMamaof3

This tends to 'clean the cobwebs out' as well. I had one and the next month was on my first month of the lowest dosage of Clomid and got immediately pregnant w/ my daughter!
Sometimes the hysterosalpinogram just cleans the tubes enough!

Dh & wife #1 ttc for 10+ years and didn't have any kids. Our first dd was conceived naturally, but I have ovulation issues/ low progest. issues. I've had early m/c's, an ectopic and a blighted ovum. Our 2nd dd was conceived with an IUI.

[Twinklette]

Swanky I had a hystero done when I had my endo surgery about 2 years ago to remove the cyst from my ovary (laparoscopy) - I asked the GYN to check my fertility to make sure I was ok. She said I had hardly no scar tissue from the first surgery which was very rare! I was happy about that. And the physician who did my GB surgery (I asked him to check when he was in there lol!) said it looked like I had HAD a cyst on my left ovary but that it had ruptured and looked fine (this was last summer).

Is that hystero an in-office procedure, do you think it's necessary for me to do again as my last was 2 years ago? I am SO not into surgery of any kind right now I have had my share!!!

[kathleen]

You can have kids after 36 - hell, most people do these days. There are some additional tests that you "should" go through, but you don't need to do that. Please, Please don't let him make you feel bad...you are not too old to have childrem. Now - do you really want them - that is what I would ask myself. I wanted to wait until 35 (ooopppps 29 instead) and I don't know if I would have wanted them. keep in mind that you will be 20 + 35 = 55 while they are in college. That is what my parents were, so I really don't find it that old. I would not, however have a bunch of kid at a later age.

[dizzyblonde1]

I'm almost 36 and have never had that maternal feeling where I thought my life would be better with children... luckily my partner feels the same way - I dont know how I would feel if he was desperate to start a family. I'm just too set in my ways now and far too selfish - I like lie ins at the weekend and spontaneous holidays which is something you cannot do with children.

Dont worry about your age though - lots of people I know started their families in their mid/late 30s and are glad they left it later in life, so that they had a chance to live their own first.

As per other threads, there is always adoption.... the door is certainly not closed for you - good luck x

[elle-mo]

I never wanted kids...then I had a 'mistake' at 33 which was the best mistake of my life, I'm now 37 and just gave birth to my dd 3 mos ago. You are not too old, just better. It was hard for me to get prego the 2nd time around, just as I gave up I got knocked up. Go for it. It's weird, I spent most of my life not getting pregnant and when I finally wanted to it was hard! Good luck!

[Swanky Mama Of Three]

Originally Posted by Twinklette

Swanky I had a hystero done when I had my endo surgery about 2 years ago to remove the cyst from my ovary (laparoscopy) - I asked the GYN to check my fertility to make sure I was ok. She said I had hardly no scar tissue from the first surgery which was very rare! I was happy about that. And the physician who did my GB surgery (I asked him to check when he was in there lol!) said it looked like I had HAD a cyst on my left ovary but that it had ruptured and looked fine (this was last summer).

Is that hystero an in-office procedure, do you think it's necessary for me to do again as my last was 2 years ago? I am SO not into surgery of any kind right now I have had my share!!!

the hystero is in office and isn't 'surgical' at all.
But yes, if most everything else seems to be working fine, this procedure can make all the difference. 3 years is a long time fertility-wise.
My tubes were clear but it still cleans them out. Also, it was me. . . I wasn't ovulating. Clomid causes you to ovulate, so that's a great first place to start if you have been checked for that yet.
Dh went for a count and mobiilty test around the same time my ovulation was tested, we knew by the next month/round of trying that it was me, I took Clomid and 9 mos later I had a big, fat baby girl!

[meowgal]

I just saw this in my newspaper- hopefully cut and paste will work. It was from the Trenton Times newspaper today

59-year-old mother has twins to join her toddler
From James Bone in New York

A NEW JERSEY woman has given birth to twins at the age of 59 — 18 months after having her last baby.

Lauren Cohen, who turns 60 on August 11, becomes the oldest woman in America to bear twins, and equals the world record set by an unnamed British woman on Christmas Day 1993.

Ms Cohen gave birth to a boy and a girl, named Gregory and Giselle, at the New York Presbyterian Hospital on May 22, a hospital spokesman said. “I’m happy. I come out healthy, and the two babies came out healthy,” Ms Cohen said at leaving the hospital.

Ms Cohen, who has a 27-year-old daughter, Renée, by an earlier marriage, decided to start another family after after marrying a much younger husband, Frank Garcia, who did not have children.

She said she then wanted her youngest daughter, Raquel, to have a sibling, and the twins were conceived in vitro with a donor egg. “I wasn’t expecting twins. But that’s what happened.” The birth required emergency surgery when the placenta broke through the uterus wall two days before a scheduled Caesarian section. But there will be no further children: the surgeons also carried out a hysterectomy.

Ms Cohen takes the record for the oldest women to give birth to twins in America from Rosie Swain, 58, a teacher and great-grandmother in Alabama. Adriana Iliescu, a retired history professor in Romania who is the oldest woman ever to bear a child, was carrying twin girls when she gave birth on January 16, 2005 at the age of 66. One daughter survived but the other twin was stillborn.

Mr Garcia, the father of the new-born twins, praised his wife. “Lauren has guts. She’s amazing,” he told the New York Post.“It was one of my dreams to have baby twins. It’s like a miracle.”

AGE CONCERN

December 2004
In Romania, Adriana Iliescu, 66, conceives twins after fertility treatment

February 2004
In India, Papathiammal Subramaniam gives birth to her first child aged 64

January 2004
A Gujurati woman gives birth to own grandchildren as a surrogate for daughter

August 2003
Charlotte Kelly, from Sunderland, gives birth to second set of twin daughters at odds of 500,000-1