[Marly]

[quote=KittyBag]I found this today (while searching a completly different subject) and immediately thought of you!

Ethan's Top Five Reasons To Be Happy about the Prospect of Being an Older Parent:

Maturity is a more valuable parenting asset than physical stamina. Yes, parenting is a physical challenge but it is first and foremost an emotional challenge. Having the energy to weather the many crises of raising children is less important than having the poise to stay calm throughout.
__________________________________________________ _________

This is so well said. I had my kids young, and I may have had lots of energy, but I would have loved to have had the wisdom and confidence that I have gained with time and maturity.

I think it comes down to if you BOTH agree to have kids- not the age factor. Whether you have them naturally or eventually adopt, it's so important to be on the same page about this very important life changing decision.

[hazelsarah]

I don't know...I feel bad for saying this but my mom had me when she was 39 and although she's a great mom, I've always felt that there is a "generation gap" between us. It's not easy for her to relate to the things that I like and vice versa.

[shushopn]

36 is not old! I'm 40 and if I wanted to I'm sure I could pump another couple out...I'd rather have a colonoscopy, though! Nowadays it's totally normal to have kids at your age.

[CrazyBagLady]

Originally Posted by Twinklette

My DH and I had a long talk last night...he thinks we waited too long to have kids - due to various personal situations it never seemed the right time. Now I'm 36 and my DH is 35. He wanted to have 2 kids and feels it's too late for that now...he's been asking me for 6 years to try to get pregnant and I just wasn't ready. Now I am and he's having 2nd thoughts, basically saying that since we can't have 2 children and the family he wants that we shouldn't have any. That we are set in our ways, we will be too old, etc. I sometimes wish I had just gone ahead a few years ago, but things were pretty bad then.

What do you all think? I am pretty upset as I can't see my life without children, yet I wonder if I didn't do this to myself by putting it off for so long. I may not even be able to have children at this point but I certainly would like to try I would love some advice here on the age issue and how I could talk to my DH about maybe seeing things in a different light. If it happened by chance he would definitely be thrilled but he doesn't seem to want to put lots of effort into getting pregnant because of the reasons I mentioned.

I think you should go for it. 36 is young. In my day, it was old because my generation had babies right after high school and the average age to have child back then was late teens..early twenties. But things have changed. When I go to my grandsons school...most of the moms are in their 40's! I seldom see very young women with kids, it seems that most couples dont start their families until they are about your age. If its something you really want, you should do it...you certainly dont want to look back 20 years from now and think how young 36 was and how foolish you were for not trying when you could.
Follow your dream. Having a child brings alot of Joy, besides...think of the great designer diaper bags you could use!!!...

[CrazyBagLady]

[quote=Twinklette]Thanks everyone! You all are making me feel so much better :) I just hope that I can talk some sense into my DH! I think he's just upset as he wanted kids when we were younger, at 30...but things didn't work out that way. Things don't always happen the way you plan, which is what I tried to tell him! If it's meant to be it WILL work out. All your support is wonderful, thank you! One thing I have against me is endometriosis (mild case but I keep getting a large cyst on my left ovary that I have had to remove 2x), so Japster I might end up needing fertility treatments - I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles! My GYN said if we aren't pregnant within 3-6 mos of faithfully trying then we both have to get tested immediately.[/quote

well, there you go....with fertility treatments you could possibly have twins...two for one pregnancy...how sweet!

[coco-nut]

You're 36? You're still a young thing! You can easily have 2 or 3 children, perhaps at once! (just kidding!)

Just quit birth control, buy the book Taking charge of your Fertility by Toni Wechsler and follow directions faithfully. If you aren't pregnant within six months, contact a well-respected reproductive endocrinologist. Ask your gynecologist/friends/strangers/internet message boards for multiple recommendations. I learned of mine because of what my insurance agent and plumber said. (yes, i told EVERYONE that I was having a hard time having a baby.)

Here is my special advice for older women who want to get pregnant:

(1) Quit drinking alcohol ENTIRELY. This was difficult and disappointing to me, but definitely helped.

(2) Sleep regular hours. Don't sweat the small stuff. Leave beds unmade and dishes undone until morning without fear.

(3) Use LH sticks. Better known as Ovulation Predictor Kits. You will probably ovulate on the 14th or 15th day of your cycle...keep track of when you start, and when your Luteinizing hormone peaks. Have sex 24-48 hours afterwards. Multiple times if possible.

(4) Once you know when you ovulate each month, start taking original Robitussin 2-3 days before ovulation. Make sure it contains guaifenesin which makes your mucus more watery and allows semen to flow more easily.

(5) After sex, elevate your feet. A lot. Handstands if necessary for 20 minutes or so. (I just used to leave my hips on the bed and my head resting on a pillow on the floor.) And while you're doing that, make sure you either do Kegels or have an orgasm, so even the slow swimmers get a fair chance. I swear this helps.

(6) Stay as happy and relaxed as possible. Practice making babies in between ovulation cycles too. Sperm are created on a three-month cycle as needed. So need them! Also, get your husband or partner out of tighty whities and into boxers or boxer briefs. And if he bikes, make sure he has a split saddle.

(7) Don't fret if you have a miscarriage. Or two. (although see a specialist if you have two or more.) I had four, and one perfect baby made me forget about all of the others.

Best wishes!

[Nishi621]

Originally Posted by coco-nut

You're 36? You're still a young thing! You can easily have 2 or 3 children, perhaps at once! (just kidding!)

Just quit birth control, buy the book Taking charge of your Fertility by Toni Wechsler and follow directions faithfully. If you aren't pregnant within six months, contact a well-respected reproductive endocrinologist. Ask your gynecologist/friends/strangers/internet message boards for multiple recommendations. I learned of mine because of what my insurance agent and plumber said. (yes, i told EVERYONE that I was having a hard time having a baby.)

Here is my special advice for older women who want to get pregnant:

(1) Quit drinking alcohol ENTIRELY. This was difficult and disappointing to me, but definitely helped.

(2) Sleep regular hours. Don't sweat the small stuff. Leave beds unmade and dishes undone until morning without fear.

(3) Use LH sticks. Better known as Ovulation Predictor Kits. You will probably ovulate on the 14th or 15th day of your cycle...keep track of when you start, and when your Luteinizing hormone peaks. Have sex 24-48 hours afterwards. Multiple times if possible.

(4) Once you know when you ovulate each month, start taking original Robitussin 2-3 days before ovulation. Make sure it contains guaifenesin which makes your mucus more watery and allows semen to flow more easily.

(5) After sex, elevate your feet. A lot. Handstands if necessary for 20 minutes or so. (I just used to leave my hips on the bed and my head resting on a pillow on the floor.) And while you're doing that, make sure you either do Kegels or have an orgasm, so even the slow swimmers get a fair chance. I swear this helps.

(6) Stay as happy and relaxed as possible. Practice making babies in between ovulation cycles too. Sperm are created on a three-month cycle as needed. So need them! Also, get your husband or partner out of tighty whities and into boxers or boxer briefs. And if he bikes, make sure he has a split saddle.

(7) Don't fret if you have a miscarriage. Or two. (although see a specialist if you have two or more.) I had four, and one perfect baby made me forget about all of the others.

Best wishes!

Oh yes-that book is EXCELLENT!

[Swanky Mama Of Three]

Oh yes Ma'am! You MUST buy a box of Ovulation Predictors! Start testing 5 days after your period. . . use it religiously!

I can answer most questions you have about infertility

[shushopn]

I have twins and there are none in my family...I took drugs to help get pregnant so like swanky I definitely could answer any questions you have..PM me any time.

[heavensent]

as eveyone has stated it not to late , now if u said u were 65 and trying than that a diff. story lol....but i say go for :)

[TammyD]

I think you should just try. The complications are significantly higher once you hit 35, but there are medical ways to get around it.

[afrolynne]

I see mine is now into his 8th mth! will mark his milestones with balenciaga bags!

hahahah you are too funny! I don't think 36 is too old at all. In fact that is the age I want to have kids too. I am currently 26, a lot of my friends are getting married or planning on having kids, but I am simply not ready for that yet. I think brining in a kid into this world when one is not financial stable or feels settled down in their life is scary. So go on girlfriend be a super trendy mom!!

[varsha624]

Have you tried yet twinklette? If your husband is feeling too old and set in his ways at 35, maybe he needs to shake things up like with exercise or yoga (helps you feel young) but as an age 35 and 36 are great ages to have kids. IMO (I don't see myself having kids before then_

[ETenebris]

My grandmother had twins when she was 40. A good friend of mine just celebrated his 40th birthday and his wife is 45 and they have two kids, the youngest of whom just turned three. So really it's not late at all. You could have two kids, three kids, four kids. Don't give up!

[hautemom]

I became pregnant with our third child when I was 36 and my husband was 40. He just turned one, and I can't even imagine life without him! We are even considering having another one! It's definitely not too late for you! Good luck!