[aarti]

can you do the surrogate pregency, where your husbands sperm and your egg are in another woman? or do i have that wrong? i hope not lol i plan to do that down the road.

[lucidbabe]

twinklette
you are not too old. I just had my first son at 34. My good friend had hers at 39 and another friend gave birth after me at the ripe young age of 40. It is, of course, more tiring to do the graveyard shifts of feeding at night, getting up breastfeeding trials and tribulations , etc ....but the time flies by, blink and a few moments later, I see mine is now into his 8th mth! will mark his milestones with balenciaga bags!

there was a time we thought we may have had waited too long... so we made Project Baby our mission.. Visited a sub-fertility expert to address all issues and to ensure all was well. whatever minor problems can be easily solved .. just do a google on fertility and the various ways a sub fertility might do to trouble shoot. surrogacy and even IVF are very often the LAST options.. do not even think of going there unless you have exhuasted options with the sub fertility gynaes.

also, the stress factor is a great bummer .. relax and pray but do not just leave everything up to nature..

[Japster]

Originally Posted by Twinklette

One thing I have against me is endometriosis (mild case but I keep getting a large cyst on my left ovary that I have had to remove 2x), so Japster I might end up needing fertility treatments - I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles! My GYN said if we aren't pregnant within 3-6 mos of faithfully trying then we both have to get tested immediately.

I've ridden the whole infertility rollercoaster- not as much as some people but I can happily offer my support and answer questions if you have any. Just don't be so quick to think it won't happen- you may have no problem getting pregnant and there are so many positives to having a child at 36.

[rainrowan]

I had my first child at 35, my second at 38. You are not too old. There are days when I feel unbelievably tired from all the activity but all mothers feel the same no matter what their age. I have 2 happy energetic boys, one who is special needs.

As for wishing kids at 30 vs 36... goodness, that is only 6 years. It's not a huge gap to be honest. And whatever ways you are set in, it would have been set already in your 20s, I would think. Ask your husband specifically what things you are both set in your ways about. It might be fairly simple and can be relinquished (freedoms like sleeping late, sports games, shopping at whim). Or it can be more difficult (freedoms in exploring travel, nightlife, education, career).

You don't want to end up making each other shoulder the blame for the child situation, because it takes both of you to come to a final decision in what happens next. So sit down and really talk it through and make sure there are no regrets.

[pseub]

I had my first (and only) child at 40. Had no problem conceiving. There's no reason you can't have kids now, especially if you're in good health. A good friend of mine just had a baby at 42.

[chloehandbags]

My Mother was 40 when she had me (her first child).

Overall, I'm glad she was older as I feel I benefited from the wealth of knowledge and wisdom she had accumulated by the time I started asking questions.

Also, 36 just isn't the age it used to be. Does your hubby think that the extra years of life expectancy are just added to the end of our lives?!!

[Greendrv]

Goodness, 36 is definitely not too old! Although I am 27 going on 28, most of my friends are in their mid to late 30's and just starting their families. DF and I are getting married this fall, and we plan on trying after 3-4 years (once he's done with his Ph.D. and has a job).

[chloehandbags]

Originally Posted by lucidbabe

twinklette
It is, of course, more tiring to do the graveyard shifts of feeding at night, getting up breastfeeding trials and tribulations , etc ....

I don't know about that!

Statistically, as we get older, we need less sleep, not more!

Teenagers and people in their early 20s need more sleep than those in any other age group (including children)!

[RoseMary]

no, not at all. my mum also got her first child with 36. the only important thing is when YOU are ready!

[coachwife6]

It's not too late. I had my fourth child at 36.

[Tammy518]

I don't think you're too old at all. Most people nowadays are delaying children for a while. And if you start soon, you should be able to have the two you want by the time you're 40 or 41. I've always heard that older parents have more patience too.

[MandM]

My aunt had a healthy baby when she was forty-five...and that was decades ago, before all of the medical advances and what not that we have now.

Lots of my friends are having kids in their late thirties and forties -- I don't think that's late at all!

[Shyloo]

I will likely get blasted for this, but I kind of see his point. He doesn't want to be in his late 40s and chasing a football around. Or in his 50s dealing with teenagers. Maybe he actually wants to have an early retirement -which is entirely possible without the expense of childern.

I know that 40 is the new 30 which can allow people to put everything back a decade, but sometimes its not for the best.
Try and talk to him, but please don't try to talk him into it. Its too big a decision to try and talk someone into it.

[dianagrace]

I don't think it's too late. My best friend had her first at 34 and is now pregnant with her second at 37. I have three sorority sisters who are all having their first child at 37. I don't think it is unusual anymore, a lot of women are waiting until their thirties.

[fr2nc1z]

35 is not too old for kids.
I was considering having kids (if I do decide I want them) when I'm about 35. So def, not old!!