Have I made the right decision?

[missy_attitude]

Everything has been done now but I really would like to get this off my chest and I couldn't think of any where else to post this except lovely tpf.

Here goes the story...

DS is currently 2 years old and been going to this day care for about a year now. Everyone seemed very lovely there.

I went to collect my DS last week, and saw him sitting on the ground outdoor and the head teacher was trying to pull him up by his sleeve. It looked very abusive to me so I stood there and watched. DS didn't move (or didn't want to move), so the teacher then pulled him up in the air by holding both of his sleeves. There was no support to his body at all. I walked over there and DS was very upset. The teacher explained that she was just trying to get him to put his drinking water bottle up on the shelf. He wasn't tall enough for the shelf, so she pulled him by his clothing! That reminded me of DS dislocating his elbow back in May at that day care. I was notified immediately back then so I didn't think too much of it, I just thought kids are kids, they could be naughty. Now that I start to think if it was because how rough they are to him. It bugged me quite a bit - that was what I saw, imagine what they did to him that I didn't see.

I later filed a report with child protection service, and they said it was enough to be abuse and there was no record of DS dislocating his elbow, which the day care should have reported to child protection service.

I now have handed in DS's two week leaving notice, I struggled for quite a while. On one hand, DS is a very shy boy, and going to that day care has made quite a progress of him coming out of his shell. He's made friends there and there are some kids and teachers there that are lovely. On the other hand, the investigation on the abuse is starting soon, I can not take the risk of DS secretly getting revenged or being neglected on purpose.

The teacher apologized to me this morning and made up some BS excuses about DS almost fell down the step so she pulled him up by his sleeve, that she had no intetion in hurting him, she would of never done such thing and so on. DS can not talk about this kind of things properly yet as he is a slow talker, otherwise things could of been easier.

Anyhoo, decisions are made. I can not worry about him being there all day and I am not suppose to. So it comes down to DS is going to lose some friends, we have to find him a new day care and starting all over again with the tiniest possibility that he was not being abused.

Thank you all for letting me vent and I would love to know what you would of done as parents if you were in my shoes?

[stellamaried]

I'm not a parent, but I think you did the right thing. She did not behave appropriately and you don't need to worry about what else might happen.

(((Hugs)))

[Baby Boo]

im a mum to be and i would have done the same as you.. peice of mind is better than thinking of hes going to lose friends.. there are otehr day cares

[oonik]

i would have done the same thing just to ensure peace of mind. i'm sure ur son will make new and wonderful friends at the new daycare.

[Sternchen]

If you feel that your son was not being treated properly then you absolutely did the right thing It also makes me wonder if the dislocated elbow is also related to arm-pullling. If there's one thing I hate it's that.

Hope you find a new place and that he is happy there

[hamstahon]

You did the right thing by pulling him out and calling CPS. Honestly, I would have pulled my child after the first incident. That is inappropriate behavior on the teacher's part, and I would hope she was written up if not fired for that. Obviously, the center administration has to do a better job at monitoring this sort of teacher behavior.
Good luck finding a new daycare. I hope you can find an option where you and your son are comfortable :)

[jenniletv]

I too agree that you did the right thing. Good luck!

[Swanky Mama Of Three]

get phone #'s of his friends and don't look back. I'd have pulled him out immediately too.

[Aslan]

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your little boy.

[ilovepinkhearts]

i would have taken him that day and said that he would not be returning...no 2 wk notice stuff. yes i now there is a contract, but imho when hands are placed on a child in any way that is incorrect/inappropiate the contract has been broken!

good luck to you both and i hope that you can find a daycare that will make you and him very happy!

[biggestbaglover]

I would have done the exact same thing except that I would not give them any 2 week notice or anything. My child would NEVER go back to that environment. You were also much calmer than I would have been if I had stood there watching that. I would have FLIPPED had I seen someone yanking at my child. I would definitely push for the investigation. Who knows what these people are doing to the other children. Don't worry about the friends aspect...he will adjust to a new setting as young children are quite resilient in this sense. His safety is always number one. Good luck to you! Keep us updated on what happens.

[everything posh]

You absolutely did the right thing! You can still have play dates with your sons friends. He will make great new friends at the new day care as well!

[lanasyogamama]

I think you gotta follow your mother's instinct on things like this, which is exactly what you did. Don't even worry about it.

[LV Luvr]

You are doing the right thing. You feel uncomfortable with him being there so pulling him out is the right decision. I'm sure you will find another school that will treat him better.

[ellacoach]

I'm sorry that happened to your little boy. You definately did the right thing!