Feeling like a bad mom :(

[Sternchen]

God, I feel so freaking AWFUL right now!!

For the past two weeks I haven't been able to spend too much time with my daughter during the day because I've been studying like crazy for my exams that I have coming up on Friday, Monday and Tuesday. My husband and my mom have been spending that time with her while I was studying...They took trips to the zoo, the park, stayed home and played, etc.

I just feel so awful right now because Julia and I were just playing and I knew that I had to get back to studying so DH came and started to play with her...I got up, gave her a kiss and a big hug and went into the kitchen to start studying again...As soon as I left the room she started SCREAMING!!! God, I felt so freaking awful I feel like the worst mom in the world right now.

She fell asleep about 45 minutes after this and that's where she is now...sleeping in her bed. I just feel so sad I can't wait for these stinking exams to be over so I can spend more time with my kid again!

[twinkle.tink]

Aw sweetie, don't take it too hard. Remember this is just a blip in time.

Also, learning to deal with some separation is a good thing, it will help prepare her for longer periods of separation.

[Sternchen]

Thank you I really think it is the separation anxiety starting to kick in. She was always very good about going to different people, etc and she would absolutely LOVE going to her daycare at my Uni, but lately she cries a bit when I leave her...It just breaks my heart and I feel so bad

Today was pretty extreme though...DH had a hard time calming her down and distracting her...and what's so awful was that I could hear it all from the kitchen. Ugh...

[ive_flipped]

don't be hard on yourself. She will be just fine and it is just that a blip in time. She knows how much you love her.

[*spoiled*]

Don't be so hard on yourself! This is just temporary and kids are so resilient she wont remember by the end of the day. She just wants her Mommy time as much as you want your Julia time! Study for those exams and when you're done give her lots and lots of kisses and hugs! Good luck!

[Sternchen]

Thanks you guys, you're really great!!

I am trying not to be so hard on myself, but I dunno...I just don't wanna see my baby cry or be sad - I 'm sure you all know how that feels! LOL

Thankfully exams will be over on Monday (I have my first on Friday)...I was supposed to have one on Tuesday but I more than likely won't be taking it since I just feel I'm not prepared enough to pass

[scarlett_2005]

I agree with the others don't be so hard on yourself. In a way the separation is good for her. I know it sucks to hear your baby crying for you. DH and I went out last night for our anniversary and my mom and his mom watched DD for the night. As soon as I closed the front door I heard her crying. It made me want to cry.

Good luck with your exams!

[carvedwords]

Oh, sweetie don't be so hard on yourself. It's only for a little bit and then it'll be over. I have the same problem with my son when I'm in college. I study so hard and I always feel so bad for it. I have to constantly remind myself it's only for a little while. It'll help her adjust to times when you do go away and she'll learn. It's actually good for her.

[twinkle.tink]

I am going to tell you a funny story about what my husband told his brother...it sounds a bit cold, but I do think it's funny....

So the brother got the job of dropping off the son at kindergarten...he had been in daycare for 2 or 3 years now, so it wasn't just separation anxiety. The son wasn't liking kindergarten because it was more structured and rules (and to be honest the kid is a bit of a brat)...well 2 weeks in and the kid and is still pitching a fit everyday and the brother is showing up later and later to work...He is telling DH how bad he feels for his son and how he just cries uncontrollably for 20 minutes or more....DH tries to tell the brother that he is just exasperating the problem, the brother keeps going on and on that he just can't leave his son there crying....DH says, "You can't hear the crying from the car"

[Sternchen]

Originally Posted by twinkle.tink

I am going to tell you a funny story about what my husband told his brother...it sounds a bit cold, but I do think it's funny....

So the brother got the job of dropping off the son at kindergarten...he had been in daycare for 2 or 3 years now, so it wasn't just separation anxiety. The son wasn't liking kindergarten because it was more structured and rules (and to be honest the kid is a bit of a brat)...well 2 weeks in and the kid and is still pitching a fit everyday and the brother is showing up later and later to work...He is telling DH how bad he feels for his son and how he just cries uncontrollably for 20 minutes or more....DH tries to tell the brother that he is just exasperating the problem, the brother keeps going on and on that he just can't leave his son there crying....DH says, "You can't hear the crying from the car"

LOL, that's pretty funny!! I know that running back everytime she cries isn't good and that's why I don't do it I know that it's good for her to be away for a little bit, and she normally loves spending time with her daddy It's funny...DH has to travel for work a lot so she doesn't see him sometimes for a few days, but when he comes back all she wants is daddy! She'll laugh with glee everytime she sees him, it's adorable

[Sternchen]

And just for fun and because she's so darn cute:

Here she is in the tub (seems to be her favorite place to be now!)

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...s/IMG_0477.jpg

[frostedcouture]

Melanie, she is so so adorable :) What gorgeous eyes! She's going to be a heart breaker when she's older You are so amazing, Melanie. You have to juggle studying, being a mom, being a wife!, AND you have another little one on the way. Plus you're such a great RAOK organizer. Don't be too stressed out, now :))

[twin53]

don't beat yourself up over this. guilt comes with motherhood. by studying and working towards a goal you are becoming a better mommy too. if you are happy and fulfilled your daughter will be too. she knows how much you love her.

[tmc089]

I know you feel bad when she gets sad, but it's part of life unfortunatley. You're doing an AMAZING job at being the best mommy in the world. She really won't remember in a few days (at most!) though!!

What I think is really impressive is that you can tear yourself away from her for a moment or two to study! It must be so hard sometimes, but like everyone else said, it's ok!!

She's beautiful! Such pretty eyes and I love that toothy smile

[addicted2chanel]

Aw! Don't feel bad Just think that after your tests are over with, you can spend more time with your DD