Do you read your child's text messages?

[cupcake]

Originally Posted by meganfm

I wonder-you said your BFs daughter came and discussed this openly with you-does she have things kind of relationship with her mother?

Unfortunately, no. Mom isn't very involved in his kids' lives and, according to the kids, all she does is sleep when they are there. She really has no interest in what the kids do and I think, more than anything, she reads the texts just be a snoop. My BF's daughter knows that even if she can't talk to her mom, she can talk to me about girl things or anything else she can't talk to dad about. I only tell my BF about the things he needs to know and he's perfectly happy with that.

[ilovepinkhearts]

my dh and i agree that their phones, computers and/or whatever else will be fair game. they will be made aware of it before and after the item is bought for them. so it wont be like we are "snooping" and we wont be doing it behind their backs. yes they deserve privacy and they will have it, but they also will be aware that we as their parents have every right to know what is going on in their lives.

and especially now that the whole 'sexting' thing is running rampant...i will watch over and protect my children :)

[PurseFanatic]

Originally Posted by cupcake

She knows that her phone is fair game to dad and she has to hand it over if dad wants to look at anything. She told us a few weeks ago that her mom, who she now sees only twice a month, takes the phone when she goes to sleep so she can read all of her texts! I was appalled and so was my boyfriend's sister. My boyfriend didn't say much. Personally, I think that's a huge invasion of privacy.

Well first off, that's her mother, so there is no invasion of privacy. And why is it fair for dad to look and not mom? And it doesn't matter if she sees her mom once a year, that's her mother.

Please don't say "he pays for it" that doesn't excuse her mothers rights.

Back to topic, my best friend checks his daughters messages. She's never text anything inappropriate, but a boy over the summer text her some lewd stuff and she was too embarassed to say anything, so thakfully he caught it and forwarded it to the boys parents. They apologized profusely and he is no longer allowed to test her.

Also I dont' believe in privacy unless you have a job and are paying for your own crap.

[PurseFanatic]

Originally Posted by cupcake

Exactly. And, Charles, you said it a lot better than I did. I want to add, too, that my boyfriend's daughter gave me her email and Facebook passwords, as required by dad. I've never logged into either one and I have no intent on doing so unless it's necessary or unless dad requests. He would only allow her to have her own email and FB page if she shared the passwords with me.

I guarantee you over half the teens out there have other emails parents know nothing about. It sounds like you just like being the "mother figure" in her life, which you obviously do a good job at. I was in the same situation for a long time. But nothing changes the fact that her parents are her parents. Period.

[amymaria]

There is no right or wrong to this. It depends on how trusting the parent is and how trustful the kids are. They need to be educated about "dangers" and "inappropriate" things regarding cellphone use and not left to be treated liek they are inherently doing something wrong and have parents spy on them to catch them.

Open and honesty is so key to EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP.

My mom would never read my mail/email as a kid...she let me do my own thing and she only concerned herself if I talked on the phone too long with a boy. She would ask who he is, how I know him etc.

I never had anything to hide from her.