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Daycare or live-out Nanny

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May 9, 2012, 2:39am   #46
Fun2BAround's Avatar
Fun2BAround
PurseDiva
I had a nanny until my child was almost 2 years old....then she had to go to daycare because my nanny gave me two days' notice that she was going on vacation out of the country (her home country) for SIX WEEKS. Luckily, I had researched and selected a daycare option - Primrose School. And though I was only going to send her there for the six weeks and then put her back with the nanny...she did so well (learned so many great things, smilling and looking forward to being there, etc.), I didn't want to go through the transition (that was HARD on me again). That and having 50% more income in my pocket.

That being said, she DID get sick the first month. I was heartbroken because she had ONE cold before that time. She was a preemie and I did pretty well keeping her away from other people. But you know what happened when she got those colds (2 I'm thinking and possibly an ear infection)? She LIVED. And her pediatrician told me she'd be fine..and that I could let her get the colds now (during that time) or she'd get them when she entered pre-school.

Now at almost 3 (in September), my baby looks forward to her Early Preschool Class. She has FOUR teachers since there are 15 students in her class. Strangers, friends, and family members are AMAZED at what she knows. I know she wouldn't be so far developmentally if she'd stayed home until 3. As a matter of fact, she had to be put in the older infants room instead of the toddler class because she wasn't as advanced.

That said, I think a combination worked for me - nanny until 2 (I was hoping to have one until age 3 but didn't work out that way!) and then an accredited childcare facility after that.

Pros of Nanny - one on one care; they come to your house everyday so you don't have to drive the child anywhere and they can dress the child saving you precious time; the child is familiar with the surroundings and is always home; nannies also help pick up after the kids...make them meals, etc.; you are not fighting against traffic to rush to pick up a child before the daycare closes; you can work later if need be; your child is really nurtured; your child is pretty much never sick unless you get them sick.

Cons - you have to get backup childcare when they are out (sick, vacation, etc.); they do sign contracts but nothing can stop them from leaving or not giving enough notice for absences; you have to buy extra food for them :-); they are always in the house unless you make plans for them to take your child out (I started my child at Gymboree Play classes); sometimes it is challenging to find a good one

I guess the pros outweigh the cons. :-)
May 9, 2012, 2:04pm   #47
SmallFluffyDog's Avatar
SmallFluffyDog
Member
I wish that my mother, or a nanny, had stayed with me, but every baby over here is put in daycare. I was a daycare baby. We were four inconsolable babies in each bed, crying non stop. There were new faces every day, but no carer to attach to<---- I think that was my real problem. Daycare was ok/fun at age 3+. That's my own experience from 20 years ago, I hope things have improved since.
May 10, 2012, 2:30pm   #48
AndagainSalvage's Avatar
AndagainSalvage
Team Haverchuck
Great discussion, I was actually dropping in to start a topic pretty much identical to this. Glad to see this here!

I cannot speak from any personal experience of my own regarding daycare, but as a former nanny, and having a close friend who is a nanny currently...IF you find the right nanny, it can be a wonderful growing experience for your child. In the beginning, it might be really tough to know how on earth to pick somebody who will share the same family values as you, but as you let your guard down, you will see that a (great) nanny can do wonders and can be SO helpful for you in every way possible.

Another plus side to nannies is that you don't have to drop off/pick up your child. When you leave, nanny is there. When you come home, nanny is there until you need her to leave. It doesn't just end the moment you pick your baby up from daycare. Nannies are usually quite flexible, and there to help you in every way possible. They can become a member of your family. They will nurture and love your child. Completely undivided. Also nanny will be there for babysitting as well, and for family vacations if need be.

And YES! Nanny cams are certainly available and useful tools! My friend's nanny family has a few nanny cams scattered about the house. After the first year of her employment there, they shut them off.
May 14, 2012, 12:02pm   #49
g
guccimamma
guccimamma
Originally Posted by Sappho
I completely agree with vhdos. I cannot imagine leaving a tiny baby in a daycare. I would not want my baby waiting in line to get his dirty diaper changed or not being able to have a peaceful nap because of all the noise and chaos. And not to mention the germs! I would use a nanny until the child becomes of pre-school age and then consider the day care.
yup. i looked around at daycare centers, and decided to quit my job...i just couldn't put him there.
May 14, 2012, 3:16pm   #50
E
Elara
Member
Originally Posted by Fun2BAround
I had a nanny until my child was almost 2 years old....then she had to go to daycare because my nanny gave me two days' notice that she was going on vacation out of the country (her home country) for SIX WEEKS. Luckily, I had researched and selected a daycare option - Primrose School. And though I was only going to send her there for the six weeks and then put her back with the nanny...she did so well (learned so many great things, smilling and looking forward to being there, etc.), I didn't want to go through the transition (that was HARD on me again). That and having 50% more income in my pocket.
We're at a Primrose too- my oldest went through all the way through kindergarten, and my youngest is early pre-k now. Love the schools- the only daycare we felt completely comfortable with. Both girls started as babies. The teachers have been nothing but fantastic, and our daughters always gotten lots of love and attention no matter what age they were. There seems to be a stigma in this thread that daycares are like childcare factories, which is exactly the opposite of our experience.

There are clearly benefits to both nannies and daycares. You have to pick what works best for you and your family, and no one should be judging or disparaging the choices of anyone else.
May 14, 2012, 4:40pm   #51
buttercup784eve's Avatar
buttercup784eve
No wire hangers!
First of all, some of these responses are a little eyebrow raising.

OP, if I were you, I'd go check out some daycares you are interested in and also interview a few nannies. See who YOU are most comfortable with. I wouldn't eliminate any choices at this point because I think some kids benefit from daycare, and some kids need the one-on-one of a nanny. You may find that your baby thrives in a more social situation, or it may overwhelm her and make her miserable.

I have a hard time with parents who start advice with, "I would NEVER..." because that is a decision they are making for themselves, not the needs of the baby. I think you should do what you are comfortable with and makes your family happy.

As far as illness goes, my dd was in daycare about a month before we pulled her out. At 18 months, she cried the ENTIRE time she was there. She went 3 days a week for a month before we finally gave up. She wasn't ever sick while she was in daycare, and now at 13 I think she's had strep once and maybe a fever two or three other times. The kid is NEVER sick.

I stayed at home with my son until he went to school. The first 3 years he missed 10-15 days a year. He was sick all.the.time. He's had his tonsils out, ear tubes, etc. He's now in 4th grade, and this is the first year he hasn't missed a day.

Did daycare have anything to do with this...I don't think so. Some kids are just germ magnets.
May 15, 2012, 4:01pm   #52
L
Loco for Coco
Among Others!
I think someone else mentioned it, but have you considered a nanny share? That's what we ended up going with and we are very pleased. This is a very tough decision and I don't think that any choice is "right" or "wrong." There are pros and cons to each situation and we debated for a while ourselves. For us, a nanny share has provided us the best of both worlds in many ways.

We have a 10 month old and share with another 10 month old, sometimes at our house and sometimes at theirs (they live less than 1 mile away). Our son has a playmate, but also gets more individualized attention. It also offers a bit of relief monitarily. And a nice bonus - she often cleans when the boys are asleep without us asking!

It wasn't an easy transition and honestly, no situation will be perfect at first. We found the family we share with first, then chose a nanny as a group. My husband and I went back and forth on how old the other child should be - an older child would allow our son to be "babied" so to speak, but older children also need lots of attention in their own way, while another infant would be demanding on a nanny. Once we decided on sharing with a child close in age, we looked for a nanny with experience with twins. For a month at least, I feared that I would arrive home to our nanny waiting for me on the front porch with two screaming babies ready to quit! We strongly considered installing nanny cams, then decided against it because the other mother and I worried that we would be too distracted.

Luckily, we have been extremely fortunate and are grateful for the arrangement. Our nanny loves the boys like they are her own and they absolutely adore her. She has been able to compliment their schedules and has a routine that works great. One of the biggest downfalls to note though is the lack of a backup if the nanny is unavailable. Both us and the other family have flexible employers, so we are usually able to work something out when this comes up.

At the end of the day, you will want a situation that works well for your little one. Everyone told me that I would know if something wasn't right and though I didn't believe that at first, I do now. Our son practically jumps out of our arms when he sees our nanny and I've never come home to or picked him up upset. A daycare can offer certain aspects that a nanny cannot and vice versa. For us, as long as our son is happy and healthy, we would be comfortable with either alternative as well. Good luck with your decision!
May 15, 2012, 6:49pm   #53
v
vhdos
Member
Originally Posted by buttercup784eve
First of all, some of these responses are a little eyebrow raising.

OP, if I were you, I'd go check out some daycares you are interested in and also interview a few nannies. See who YOU are most comfortable with. I wouldn't eliminate any choices at this point because I think some kids benefit from daycare, and some kids need the one-on-one of a nanny. You may find that your baby thrives in a more social situation, or it may overwhelm her and make her miserable.

I have a hard time with parents who start advice with, "I would NEVER..." because that is a decision they are making for themselves, not the needs of the baby. I think you should do what you are comfortable with and makes your family happy.

As far as illness goes, my dd was in daycare about a month before we pulled her out. At 18 months, she cried the ENTIRE time she was there. She went 3 days a week for a month before we finally gave up. She wasn't ever sick while she was in daycare, and now at 13 I think she's had strep once and maybe a fever two or three other times. The kid is NEVER sick.

I stayed at home with my son until he went to school. The first 3 years he missed 10-15 days a year. He was sick all.the.time. He's had his tonsils out, ear tubes, etc. He's now in 4th grade, and this is the first year he hasn't missed a day.

Did daycare have anything to do with this...I don't think so. Some kids are just germ magnets.
I have to agree that some of the responses were a little over-the-top. I posted in favor of a nanny as opposed to a day care, but there really are some good daycare choices out there for those who need/want them. As I mentioned before, I worked daycare & preschool all through college, so I have plenty of experience in that department. I have never worked at a center where a child had to "wait in line" for a dirty diaper change and sure, there is chaos & germs, but most children adjust & adapt. It really comes down to personal choice and what suits each family. Personally, I am an advocate of keeping a child home until they have the ability to socialize (around age 3 or 4). My two kids were born only 15 1/2 months apart and we made the decision to do a nanny-share with another family. It was an incredible experience. The nanny became a close family friend of ours and my children still think of her often.
May 16, 2012, 8:02pm   #54
VivienX's Avatar
VivienX
Bagluva
Hello, I would choose to place my child in daycare. Primarily because there'd be a team of carers vs a single nanny by herself. The day care centre would be fully-equipped should any emergency arise. Secondly, so that my child would learn how to socialize and share with others. I have a 4-month old now whom I intend to care for whilst starting my own home business. :) good luck with your decision.
May 17, 2012, 9:00am   #55
v
vhdos
Member
^Actually, a qualified nanny can have the same credentials as a daycare worker, so I really don't think that a daycare would have an "advantage" over a nanny in the event of an emergency. Most nannies have (at the very least) a CPR certification, etc. just as a daycare worker would.
May 17, 2012, 9:16am   #56
A
Alexa5
Member
It just feels like any time anyone dares to recommend or prefer daycare it can't be left alone. There is a reason why there are far fewer recommendations for daycare in this thread--many of those people don't want to speak up for this reason.

I like daycare and I am proud of it :-) Officially done now.
May 17, 2012, 1:44pm   #57
v
vhdos
Member
^Perhaps if you took the time to read through my responses, you'd see that I've actually supported daycare to some extent. Personally, daycare was not the choice I made for my children when they were younger, but I can certainly appreciate the benefits of it - I have worked in several Both of my children attended preschool beyond the age of three. I loved the fact that they could socialize with other children, which is not something they would have had if they would have stayed at home with a nanny.
May 17, 2012, 7:21pm   #58
l
lv_forever
Member
Originally Posted by Alexa5
It just feels like any time anyone dares to recommend or prefer daycare it can't be left alone. There is a reason why there are far fewer recommendations for daycare in this thread--many of those people don't want to speak up for this reason.

I like daycare and I am proud of it :-) Officially done now.
I like daycare too and prefer it far better than a nanny. I just recently started working part time so DS goes to daycare 3x a week. I did this to spend more time with my son, so it is somewhat selfish on my part because he really likes going to daycare. We sort of have "lazy days" when I am off... I don't do all the structured activities he does at daycare so not very productive...at least from my "tiger mom" point of view, haha. I do feel his structured days at daycare will help him when he starts going to preschool next year... it is a language immersion school and they only offer fulltime, no part time.
May 18, 2012, 8:21am   #59
A
Alexa5
Member
Originally Posted by vhdos
^Perhaps if you took the time to read through my responses, you'd see that I've actually supported daycare to some extent. Personally, daycare was not the choice I made for my children when they were younger, but I can certainly appreciate the benefits of it - I have worked in several Both of my children attended preschool beyond the age of three. I loved the fact that they could socialize with other children, which is not something they would have had if they would have stayed at home with a nanny.
I admit to being a little snarky :-) Sometimes I can't help it. I know you have discussed both sides. I just mainly meant that the thread is funny because very few of those that prefer daycare put down the nanny side of things. But many of the nanny responses have so much negative things to say about daycare, and most of them never even have used it.

I wasn't speaking of you directly, just the general tone of the thread, as someone had mentioned above as well.
May 18, 2012, 6:57pm   #60
nvie's Avatar
nvie
21 countries...
Sleeping on their tummies solves this problem, although it's discouraged in the west, over here, babies sleep on their tummies until they can turn by themselves. Also, over in Asia, babies usually sleep with their mothers until much older, therefore they could be monitored at all times. I'm not saying this is ideal but just sharing the norm over here.

Fashion, I hope your daughter's sleeping habit will change and matter would be corrected.
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