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Daycare or live-out Nanny

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Apr 17, 2012, 1:46pm   #31
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dls80ucla
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Thankfully I will be able to stay at home full time, but my gf is having a heck of a time with her 8 month old. She started him at daycare and he has been constantly sick ever since. We're not talking colds, it's ear infections, hand, food & mouth, and other illnesses that can be serious. It was literally one thing after another. She just decided to do a nanny share instead with one other parent.

I didn't realize this before, but it was mentioned to my friend that the daycare can be perfectly clean and sanitary, its the parents that are the problem. Too many parents can't afford to take off of work when their babies are sick so they are spiking the bottles with Tylenol. Totally masks the symptoms while they are at daycare.
Apr 17, 2012, 2:48pm   #32
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Alexa5
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Originally Posted by dls80ucla
Thankfully I will be able to stay at home full time, but my gf is having a heck of a time with her 8 month old. She started him at daycare and he has been constantly sick ever since. We're not talking colds, it's ear infections, hand, food & mouth, and other illnesses that can be serious. It was literally one thing after another. She just decided to do a nanny share instead with one other parent.

I didn't realize this before, but it was mentioned to my friend that the daycare can be perfectly clean and sanitary, its the parents that are the problem. Too many parents can't afford to take off of work when their babies are sick so they are spiking the bottles with Tylenol. Totally masks the symptoms while they are at daycare.
I just think this goes back to that some kids get sick more than others--daycare or not. There are many children that are rarely sick in daycare and a few that get sick frequently.

As for spiking the bottles with Tylenol, I think that is not a normal thing to happen. Most parents keep their children home when they know they have a fever. Of course if the fever happens after they get to daycare and the child is not acting out of sorts, then they can easily spend a day there with a fever. But in most cases parents wouldn't intentionally send a child with a fever and mask it with Tylenol. In my experience, most of the fever viruses that they get in daycare the fevers run pretty high for a few days, so no fever medicine takes it all of the way down to normal--plus the children typically act tired/differently so it wouldn't take long for the teacher to decide to check their temp.

I get that some people want to use nannies, etc, and I can understand that, but some of the comments like this really are unfair to a lot of daycares and parents. A lot of people don't have a choice, and have to use daycare, and thankfully there are a lot of great ones around, and the majority of the children do just fine.
Apr 18, 2012, 10:20pm   #33
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boxermom
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Originally Posted by Alexa5
I just think this goes back to that some kids get sick more than others--daycare or not. There are many children that are rarely sick in daycare and a few that get sick frequently.

As for spiking the bottles with Tylenol, I think that is not a normal thing to happen. Most parents keep their children home when they know they have a fever. Of course if the fever happens after they get to daycare and the child is not acting out of sorts, then they can easily spend a day there with a fever. But in most cases parents wouldn't intentionally send a child with a fever and mask it with Tylenol. In my experience, most of the fever viruses that they get in daycare the fevers run pretty high for a few days, so no fever medicine takes it all of the way down to normal--plus the children typically act tired/differently so it wouldn't take long for the teacher to decide to check their temp.

I get that some people want to use nannies, etc, and I can understand that, but some of the comments like this really are unfair to a lot of daycares and parents. A lot of people don't have a choice, and have to use daycare, and thankfully there are a lot of great ones around, and the majority of the children do just fine.


I'm glad you made this point. When I was a working mother, we couldn't afford a nanny--it was day care and it was a stretch to afford it. My son and dil really sacrifice to afford their nanny, but I know for many parents it would be impossible no matter how much they cut other expenses. I applaud the good daycare facilities and it's sad that many parents can't afford to take sick days when their kids are ill and shouldn't be in daycare. IMHO, the USA is behind in encouraging flexible, safe daycare for working parents. Most developed countries have better options, from what I've read.
Apr 18, 2012, 11:55pm   #34
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alliemia
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i never heard of spiking a kids bottle with tylenol. that sounds extremely dangerous to be pouring medicine in a bottle of milk and not letting anyone know the child is on meds. i would hope that's just an urban legend.
Apr 19, 2012, 12:56am   #35
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dls80ucla
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Originally Posted by alliemia
i never heard of spiking a kids bottle with tylenol. that sounds extremely dangerous to be pouring medicine in a bottle of milk and not letting anyone know the child is on meds. i would hope that's just an urban legend.
the tylenol comment came straight from a pediatrician. sad but true.

And i wasn't knocking daycare, the OP asked which we would prefer. And again, i didn't day the daycares are necessarily the problem, it can be parents. you really have no idea who is bringing their sick kid to daycare.
Apr 19, 2012, 8:06am   #36
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Alexa5
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Originally Posted by dls80ucla
the tylenol comment came straight from a pediatrician. sad but true.

And i wasn't knocking daycare, the OP asked which we would prefer. And again, i didn't day the daycares are necessarily the problem, it can be parents. you really have no idea who is bringing their sick kid to daycare.
But my point is that you are making generalizations about parents and daycare without having used it. I totally think it is fine if you want to stay at home, and would prefer not to use daycare...that isn't my issue.

I am a PARENT at a daycare, so when you make comments about parents you are making comments about people like myself. I have had my son in two daycare settings, and I don't know of a single parent in either one that would use Tylenol to keep their child in daycare when they are sick--especially again since most real fevers are not fully resolved by Tylenol--they would still have a detectable fever in most cases and act somewhat sick/tired.

I get that a doctor made that comment and you were sharing it, but please be careful about not making statements about "parents" at daycare when 99% of them are very responsible. And even if it were true what the doctor said, often the germs are spread before a fever is even present, so there will be germs there regardless...just like there is any public place where people congregate.
Apr 19, 2012, 12:09pm   #37
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glistenpearls
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Originally Posted by Alexa5
But my point is that you are making generalizations about parents and daycare without having used it. I totally think it is fine if you want to stay at home, and would prefer not to use daycare...that isn't my issue.

I am a PARENT at a daycare, so when you make comments about parents you are making comments about people like myself. I have had my son in two daycare settings, and I don't know of a single parent in either one that would use Tylenol to keep their child in daycare when they are sick--especially again since most real fevers are not fully resolved by Tylenol--they would still have a detectable fever in most cases and act somewhat sick/tired.

I get that a doctor made that comment and you were sharing it, but please be careful about not making statements about "parents" at daycare when 99% of them are very responsible. And even if it were true what the doctor said, often the germs are spread before a fever is even present, so there will be germs there regardless...just like there is any public place where people congregate.
Great comment Alexa. I'm not surprised to see not many (almost none) comments coming from parents who has kids at daycare. I've been avoiding this thread also. I see both pro and cons from daycare and nanny and yea I got a lot flack for putting my kids at daycare despite the fact I can afford nanny and I can afford to stay at home. But there are other considerations involved and I don't feel the need to explain it.
Apr 19, 2012, 2:32pm   #38
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Alexa5
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Originally Posted by glistenpearls
Great comment Alexa. I'm not surprised to see not many (almost none) comments coming from parents who has kids at daycare. I've been avoiding this thread also. I see both pro and cons from daycare and nanny and yea I got a lot flack for putting my kids at daycare despite the fact I can afford nanny and I can afford to stay at home. But there are other considerations involved and I don't feel the need to explain it.
Thanks :-) I think daycare gets a bad rap and often from those that haven't actually used it. I understand the fear some people have of putting their child in outside care with a large group of people, and it might not be for everyone. But having used it in both an in home and center setting, I have had only positive experiences. The in-home was nice and simple for when he was a baby and young toddler, and the center care is where his learning really exploded immediately--granted he was at the perfect age for that at age 2, but I have no doubt that both settings contributed to both his learning and ability to adapt well in a social environment.

And now at age 3, often when we leave one classmate will come to hug him, and then tons of them will rush up to hug him, that is just one of the sweetest things ever. He is fairly introverted, but seems to be able to navigate the concept of playing with his friends/enjoying that, but also feeling okay with doing his own thing occasionally...

I would be the same as you.... I would still choose to send him to preschool/daycare regardless of money because being a SAHM or having a nanny are just not for me, and after seeing how much of a benefit daycare/preschool has been for him I would be sad for him not to go.
Apr 19, 2012, 3:25pm   #39
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glistenpearls
Ex-Sydneysider
Originally Posted by Alexa5
Thanks :-) I think daycare gets a bad rap and often from those that haven't actually used it. I understand the fear some people have of putting their child in outside care with a large group of people, and it might not be for everyone. But having used it in both an in home and center setting, I have had only positive experiences. The in-home was nice and simple for when he was a baby and young toddler, and the center care is where his learning really exploded immediately--granted he was at the perfect age for that at age 2, but I have no doubt that both settings contributed to both his learning and ability to adapt well in a social environment.

And now at age 3, often when we leave one classmate will come to hug him, and then tons of them will rush up to hug him, that is just one of the sweetest things ever. He is fairly introverted, but seems to be able to navigate the concept of playing with his friends/enjoying that, but also feeling okay with doing his own thing occasionally...

I would be the same as you.... I would still choose to send him to preschool/daycare regardless of money because being a SAHM or having a nanny are just not for me, and after seeing how much of a benefit daycare/preschool has been for him I would be sad for him not to go.
That's absolutely great! I have to admit that my boys did start daycare a little too young at 3.5 mo. However the infant class was wonderful so I had no hesitation. I did come across problems with the daycare when they had to move to 6mo-12mo room. The high turnover in that particular room contributed to the problems and I didn't like it very much. So when they turned 1, I moved them to montessori instead. But overall, I've seen the benefits for the boys and I'm glad that I made the initial decision to send them to daycare.
Apr 19, 2012, 4:07pm   #40
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dls80ucla
Member
Originally Posted by Alexa5
But my point is that you are making generalizations about parents and daycare without having used it. I totally think it is fine if you want to stay at home, and would prefer not to use daycare...that isn't my issue.

I am a PARENT at a daycare, so when you make comments about parents you are making comments about people like myself. I have had my son in two daycare settings, and I don't know of a single parent in either one that would use Tylenol to keep their child in daycare when they are sick--especially again since most real fevers are not fully resolved by Tylenol--they would still have a detectable fever in most cases and act somewhat sick/tired.

I get that a doctor made that comment and you were sharing it, but please be careful about not making statements about "parents" at daycare when 99% of them are very responsible. And even if it were true what the doctor said, often the germs are spread before a fever is even present, so there will be germs there regardless...just like there is any public place where people congregate.
i'm glad you had a good daycare experience, and i wasn't knocking daycare either. my baby will go to daycare at some point for the social and learning aspect, and no doubt their experience will be invaluable. And i wasn't make a generalization about ALL parents. Just mentioning that unfortunately there can be a bad seed or two, and the key is of course you don't know that a parent could be spiking a bottle, most will never tell you. I just see my poor friend whose baby was in perfect health at 5 months and now at 8 months he constantly has an ailment and she has to take a ton of time off of work. The OP will obviously make the best decision for her and her baby, I was just providing a story about daycare and what COULD happen.
Apr 20, 2012, 12:43pm   #41
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Lakritze
I understand what you mean, dls80ucla. My daughter's cardiologist advised us to be careful about infections and we were told by other doctors too to keep her away from daycare as long as possible. Of course there are lots of responsible parents but there are always parents that don't seen to care.
Apr 23, 2012, 12:41pm   #42
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petra24
Member
Originally Posted by Lakritze
I understand what you mean, dls80ucla. My daughter's cardiologist advised us to be careful about infections and we were told by other doctors too to keep her away from daycare as long as possible. Of course there are lots of responsible parents but there are always parents that don't seen to care.
I know it soo scary my daughter is going to b 3 and i have been w her since she was born
Apr 23, 2012, 1:12pm   #43
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cupcakeworld
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DH and I went to view a few nurseries in our area this past week. I have to say that I was very impressed. I like the fact that the babies "graduate" from one room to another ie. from the infant room, to the 18 month olds, to the 2 year olds etc right up to pre-K. And in each stage, they are taught certain milestones even when they are infants (how to hold a bottle, transition to sippy cup, how to feed themselves etc.). And when they are older (2-3 years), they have teachers (1:3 or 1:4 ratio) teaching them how to read and spell etc. And they even have music lessons!

i'm still concerned about the views that children tend to get sick more often at daycare. For those of you who breastfed - does this go someways of preventing that?
Apr 23, 2012, 1:37pm   #44
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Alexa5
Member
Originally Posted by cupcakeworld
DH and I went to view a few nurseries in our area this past week. I have to say that I was very impressed. I like the fact that the babies "graduate" from one room to another ie. from the infant room, to the 18 month olds, to the 2 year olds etc right up to pre-K. And in each stage, they are taught certain milestones even when they are infants (how to hold a bottle, transition to sippy cup, how to feed themselves etc.). And when they are older (2-3 years), they have teachers (1:3 or 1:4 ratio) teaching them how to read and spell etc. And they even have music lessons!

i'm still concerned about the views that children tend to get sick more often at daycare. For those of you who breastfed - does this go someways of preventing that?
They definitely learn a lot at all ages.... because they teach them the right things at the right times, and at the same time are flexible and understand development enough to know that some catch on to certain things faster than others. There are things he learns I wouldn't think to introduce to him. Like one random example, is that they spend some time using scissors to cut out shapes in his 3's class. It never really occurred to me to start using scissors with him, but he loves it, and has made great improvements. They also trace letters of their names, and now I noticed they are starting to have them try to write it without tracing. Things like that. Of course when he was younger they did shapes/letters/numbers, and I can tell when they start teaching higher numbers than before because he starts using those numbers.

As for the sickness thing, I am sure it does help, but it really is random as to which kids get sick more than others, I think. My son had breastmilk until about 3 months of age, and then I had to switch to formula because being in daycare it was too hard to keep up with breastmilk. But he has done well in daycare sickness wise. I know I mentioned before when he first moved from a small daycare to a center he was sick a bit more than usual more often, but that was just for the first few months. Now he mainly gets colds, which he doesn't have to stay home for, and the very occasional fever virus, that is mainly just a fever.
Apr 23, 2012, 5:25pm   #45
l
lv_forever
Member
Originally Posted by cupcakeworld
DH and I went to view a few nurseries in our area this past week. I have to say that I was very impressed. I like the fact that the babies "graduate" from one room to another ie. from the infant room, to the 18 month olds, to the 2 year olds etc right up to pre-K. And in each stage, they are taught certain milestones even when they are infants (how to hold a bottle, transition to sippy cup, how to feed themselves etc.). And when they are older (2-3 years), they have teachers (1:3 or 1:4 ratio) teaching them how to read and spell etc. And they even have music lessons!

i'm still concerned about the views that children tend to get sick more often at daycare. For those of you who breastfed - does this go someways of preventing that?
I am very glad you found nurseries that you were happy with. We are very happy with our daycare. Low teacher to child ratio is absolutely necessary. I did not consider any place that had a higher ratio than 1:4. I loved how the daycare taught DS simple milestones like holding the bottle, practicing sitting up, etc. to sign languages and dancing later on. Since I am a FTM, it almost felt like the teachers were guiding me through and I didn't freak out as much as I would have because I had other people observing and giving advice as well. I liked extra support as I did not really have any family nearby in the beginning (now my parents live about an hr away).
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