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ive_flipped · Aug 1st, 2009, 08:36 PM

Hello Ladies...I am hoping someone can share some info or tips on this. I didn't ever go through this with my DS. He was the type that would go to anyone and be happy.

DD (has been doing this for over a month) screams if anyone holds her besides my husband and myself. It is very rare that someone can hold her where she won't cry. She will even cry sometimes if they come close to her or talk to her. How can I help her through this so she is ok with people? And aprox. how long does something like this last? I can't believe she started doing this so early

It makes it impossible to go anywhere with DH because she crys SO hard.

HELP!!!!!!

Jill · Aug 1st, 2009, 09:48 PM

I think socializing a child is very important.having the baby around alot of people..playdates etc...are key to helping a SHY baby.My Hayden is shy but I started taking him to a play place by me EVERY week.So he is used to being around people..its really helped alot.He plays with kids now and has eye contact with adults etc...

ive_flipped · Aug 1st, 2009, 09:56 PM

Thanks Jill. I have been going to a play group once a week and a baby songs group once a week for about 2 mths.

Jill · Aug 1st, 2009, 10:21 PM

^Mind u....EVERY CHILD goes through a clutchy stage!!they only want their mommy!
I couldnt even go to the bathroom without taking him with me...LOL....Now he plays with his new nanny and doent even cry when i leave(thank god!)

ive_flipped · Aug 1st, 2009, 10:38 PM

^^ oh that's good.

How long did he go through that clingy thing? LOL she does let me go to the bathroom still for now thank goodness

boxermom · Aug 1st, 2009, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by Jill

^Mind u....EVERY CHILD goes through a clutchy stage!!they only want their mommy!
I couldnt even go to the bathroom without taking him with me...LOL....Now he plays with his new nanny and doent even cry when i leave(thank god!)

This is so true. Both my boys had a brief stage with this, but my grandson was clingy with his mom for quite a long time. She just kept doing what Jill does--opportunities to socialize on a regular basis and he's more outgoing now. However, some children will just be more outgoing than others. It's not a flaw. I was a quiet, shy child and made to think it was a character defect.

everything posh · Aug 2nd, 2009, 07:04 PM

Our first started doing this at 3 months old!!!! She would cry if someone other than me, my DH or grandparents and aunts would hold her. She also would cry if someone she didn't really know would come close to talk to her. It was awful!!!! We just kept her around a lot of people. Took her with us everywhere, and slowly she warmed up to other people as well. It took many many months for her to get used to others.
It may take a while, but your little one will get over this as well! Good luck and let us know how things are going.

ive_flipped · Aug 2nd, 2009, 11:58 PM

Thanks Posh... I am glad to hear that you got through it. That is exactly what I am going to do and have been. I take her everywhere and have different people talk to her and hold her when possible.
Thank goodness I have time before I go back to work or else I am not sure what I would do. It's heart breaking to see them so upset

dell · Aug 3rd, 2009, 04:03 AM

It will pass! Babies become attached at different ages. DD even cried with Grandma for a couple of weeks. I would say she was around 3 months or so too when this happened :)

Jill · Aug 3rd, 2009, 09:20 AM

My Hayden is in his terrible twos EARLY..LOL....he is only 17 months and is crazy busy!
he goes thru stages where i cant leave the room and will scream and cry if i do.
u just have to learn to DISTRACT the baby while someone else takes over.get a toy they love..hav the other person sing or dance....then the transition to mommy leaving the room will b easier...KWIM?
Im a pro at distractions..LOL....i have certain toys i use to stop temper tantrums....help him eat foods he doesnt want...etc....
Parenthood is one great learning experience!!LOL!

ive_flipped · Aug 3rd, 2009, 07:54 PM

^^ lol I am going to have to work at my distraction skills

Jill · Aug 3rd, 2009, 08:18 PM

^distraction is KEY...LOL and i didnt learn this till i raised my GRANDSON....hehe.....takes years of learning a a parent...I swear.AND Boys r INSANELY crazy vs girls at the baby stage..hehe.I feel like i never knew the terible twos till now!I have a nanny 30 hrs a week who is wayyyy stricter than me..Im a sap!

omgsweet · Aug 4th, 2009, 04:33 PM

I disagree with allowing other people hold the baby when the baby is clearly anxious about it. My daughter was extremely shy and can still be this way when she meets somebody new. If she cried, I would always take her back from whoever was holding her. She would eventually warm up to them and would no longer cry after awhile. If you have a shy baby, I believe that is their personality and cannot be changed. I think that forcing somebody on them in the hope of them getting used to it will make them more shy and anxious in the future.

The weekly play groups do help though. My daughter plays with other children just fine now. But when it comes to strangers, she is very cautious which I think is a good thing anyways.

PS: I'm not saying anybody lets their baby cry. I'm just saying it because this is what my MIL told me to do and argued with me when I told her no.

ive_flipped · Oct 1st, 2009, 04:36 PM

Ok so it is getting worse and not better kind of! DD will let some of the moms in play group hold her for a few minutes and that is great. But she will not let anyone who will be a caregiver for her when I am back at work hold her...which is grandma/grandpa's, aunts or DAD!!!! I go to a work out class two nights a week and she screams the entire time. Full blown tears, gagging, choking sobbing fit. She does it now too if he trys to hold her any time of the day now.

Any ideas? I go to play groups, swimming, baby programs etc with her. I take her to visit relatives. I only have a few months left with her and I need her to get over this. I would stay with her if I could but I can't. Not in these economic times and not with all I would have to take away from my son and family.

Any tips, tricks or suggestions of who to talk to are welcome....

thanks ladies

Aug 1st, 2009, 08:36 PM	#1
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	Baby playing shy... Hello Ladies...I am hoping someone can share some info or tips on this. I didn't ever go through this with my DS. He was the type that would go to anyone and be happy. DD (has been doing this for over a month) screams if anyone holds her besides my husband and myself. It is very rare that someone can hold her where she won't cry. She will even cry sometimes if they come close to her or talk to her. How can I help her through this so she is ok with people? And aprox. how long does something like this last? I can't believe she started doing this so early It makes it impossible to go anywhere with DH because she crys SO hard. HELP!!!!!!
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Aug 1st, 2009, 09:48 PM	#2
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923	I think socializing a child is very important.having the baby around alot of people..playdates etc...are key to helping a SHY baby.My Hayden is shy but I started taking him to a play place by me EVERY week.So he is used to being around people..its really helped alot.He plays with kids now and has eye contact with adults etc...
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923

Aug 1st, 2009, 09:56 PM	#3
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	Thanks Jill. I have been going to a play group once a week and a baby songs group once a week for about 2 mths.
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Aug 1st, 2009, 10:21 PM	#4
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923	^Mind u....EVERY CHILD goes through a clutchy stage!!they only want their mommy! I couldnt even go to the bathroom without taking him with me...LOL....Now he plays with his new nanny and doent even cry when i leave(thank god!)
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923

Aug 1st, 2009, 10:38 PM	#5
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	^^ oh that's good. How long did he go through that clingy thing? LOL she does let me go to the bathroom still for now thank goodness
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Aug 2nd, 2009, 07:04 PM	#7
everything posh Member Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago, Athens, London, San Jose!! Posts: 1,659	Our first started doing this at 3 months old!!!! She would cry if someone other than me, my DH or grandparents and aunts would hold her. She also would cry if someone she didn't really know would come close to talk to her. It was awful!!!! We just kept her around a lot of people. Took her with us everywhere, and slowly she warmed up to other people as well. It took many many months for her to get used to others. It may take a while, but your little one will get over this as well! Good luck and let us know how things are going.
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Aug 2nd, 2009, 11:58 PM	#8
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	Thanks Posh... I am glad to hear that you got through it. That is exactly what I am going to do and have been. I take her everywhere and have different people talk to her and hold her when possible. Thank goodness I have time before I go back to work or else I am not sure what I would do. It's heart breaking to see them so upset
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Aug 3rd, 2009, 04:03 AM	#9
dell Member Joined: May 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 5,430	It will pass! Babies become attached at different ages. DD even cried with Grandma for a couple of weeks. I would say she was around 3 months or so too when this happened :)
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Aug 3rd, 2009, 09:20 AM	#10
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923	My Hayden is in his terrible twos EARLY..LOL....he is only 17 months and is crazy busy! he goes thru stages where i cant leave the room and will scream and cry if i do. u just have to learn to DISTRACT the baby while someone else takes over.get a toy they love..hav the other person sing or dance....then the transition to mommy leaving the room will b easier...KWIM? Im a pro at distractions..LOL....i have certain toys i use to stop temper tantrums....help him eat foods he doesnt want...etc.... Parenthood is one great learning experience!!LOL!
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923

Aug 3rd, 2009, 07:54 PM	#11
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	^^ lol I am going to have to work at my distraction skills
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Aug 3rd, 2009, 08:18 PM	#12
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923	^distraction is KEY...LOL and i didnt learn this till i raised my GRANDSON....hehe.....takes years of learning a a parent...I swear.AND Boys r INSANELY crazy vs girls at the baby stage..hehe.I feel like i never knew the terible twos till now!I have a nanny 30 hrs a week who is wayyyy stricter than me..Im a sap!
Jill MOD Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 27,923

Aug 4th, 2009, 04:33 PM	#13
omgsweet omg...cute bag!! Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Scottsdale, Az Posts: 2,963	I disagree with allowing other people hold the baby when the baby is clearly anxious about it. My daughter was extremely shy and can still be this way when she meets somebody new. If she cried, I would always take her back from whoever was holding her. She would eventually warm up to them and would no longer cry after awhile. If you have a shy baby, I believe that is their personality and cannot be changed. I think that forcing somebody on them in the hope of them getting used to it will make them more shy and anxious in the future. The weekly play groups do help though. My daughter plays with other children just fine now. But when it comes to strangers, she is very cautious which I think is a good thing anyways. PS: I'm not saying anybody lets their baby cry. I'm just saying it because this is what my MIL told me to do and argued with me when I told her no.
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Oct 1st, 2009, 04:36 PM	#14
ive_flipped OP Chia Tang Joined: Jun 2007 Location: eh!!! Posts: 2,750	Ok so it is getting worse and not better kind of! DD will let some of the moms in play group hold her for a few minutes and that is great. But she will not let anyone who will be a caregiver for her when I am back at work hold her...which is grandma/grandpa's, aunts or DAD!!!! I go to a work out class two nights a week and she screams the entire time. Full blown tears, gagging, choking sobbing fit. She does it now too if he trys to hold her any time of the day now. Any ideas? I go to play groups, swimming, baby programs etc with her. I take her to visit relatives. I only have a few months left with her and I need her to get over this. I would stay with her if I could but I can't. Not in these economic times and not with all I would have to take away from my son and family. Any tips, tricks or suggestions of who to talk to are welcome.... thanks ladies
	__________________ IT'S A GIRL

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