Originally Posted by buttercup784eve

Well, if you ask someone to do something, even if you say please, they do have the option to say no. They may need to learn to say no respectfully and not ignore you, but I get the feeling that's not what you want. So what you are really doing is TELLING them to do something, and putting it in question form. I know you came here to vent, so even though some of your language seems a bit harsh I assume that you don't ALWAYS feel this way about his kids. Do you have a good relationship with them generally?

Generally yes we have a good relationship... SD can be very caring at times.
Second even when you tell them " A go clean the cat litter now" he walks to his room or walks out the door. So regardless of it being in a question or a direct demand he doesnt do it. He thinks he can do it when he's ready to do it... AKA its now day 3 and it hasnt been cleaned and he was told tuesday when he walked in the door to do it and instead didnt.


Tuesday my dd and I were out, kids at school, DH home.DH left to do some running around and hit the gym. He came home to the house smelling like pot. Asked SD about it and she denied it. DD and I got home and the first thing I said when I walking in the door was the house smells like @ss. I went down stairs and dh says can you smell that.. yes!
He said sd door is coming off and she is going to have no privacy if she cant behave. Well wednsday am before he went in for knee surgery off came the door. When sd came home she was not happy.. Niether of his kids ask him how his knee was or how he was they both left and went to their mothers.

Needless to say, when they came home from school yesterday they packed up a few clothes and went to the moms again. DH txt his son and told them to stay there for a week that they needed to live there and see what its like and that its not rough here.
DH is on the edge of snapping and i'm laughing inside because he's now seen his kids have no respect for him or what he does to provide for them.
Something I have been sayingfor a while now ...
Regardless.. After DH came home from keey surgery the other day, he's on the couch when they arrive home from schol

I can't believe people are jumping on you for "not respecting" your step-kids and/or not parenting them "properly". I completely understand where you are coming from. My mom married a man with three teenage girls. They were so sweet and fun and nice for the first year and then my mom and their dad got married, they bought a house together, and the girls turned into complete psycho B-words. It was ridiculous. They were lazy, lied all the time, constantly asked for money, etc. In their defense, their mom was a psycho-B word as well, so they got it honest, I guess. At 17 and 18, their beds has basically been made. it's too late to instill the values you want because they only have to follow your rules temporarily - until they go to their mom's. When they come back, it's like starting from scratch again. It's a pointless and endless cycle. Just wait it out. My mom had to do it as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it completely sucks!

thank you for understanding... I guess there are just a lot that have never had to deal with step kids, either as a co parent or a step child so its easy to point fingers. Its also a big difference when the kids are small and can be taught opposed to teeangers that are already in their ways.

IE, the SD again I think this is the 5th time.. got caught smoking pot IN THE HOUSE! Dad warned her the last time when I found stuff on her twitter account. If she did I again he was taking her door off and she's was going to lose her privacy .... well it happened and the door is gone (I would have dont is the second time she was caught but that is me) anhway, she flipped crap!!! Came home from school grabbed stuff and went to her moms whining.. Came home that night only after dad called there and told her to get her but home at 1030 or punishment was going to get worse.. Well.. she ws still flipping crap, her borther (18) was upset she lost the door and as sitting on the end of his bed with a pout on his face like he was 5 and someone stole his hot wheels ... let me tell you.. dad flipped becasue son was supporting sd in her smoking ot in the house and what not it all didnt go over well.....
The next day then came home from school, mom waiting outsdie (She is an enabler) the kids came in packed a suit case and left.. (this is friday night) dad msg'd son because SD doesnt have her cell it was taken away. And says you need to stay at your mothers for a while, if you're going to act this way and run to her when you dont like what rules I have here.. Son says how long is a while, dad says a week.
Well in son doesnt txt other family and say dad kick me out ... OMG I would have changed the locks and taught him a lesson fast. Needless to say its a been a peaceful week because son isnt back yet and says hes not coming back.. Why? >> because he has a computer in his room with no supervision to the internet, or when he goes to bed, he's missed school, and is up posting on FB at 4am, and half the time he isnt even at his moms hes at a friends.....

YES LADIES THAT IS RESPECT FOR YOUR PARENT ........

SD call on thursday and asked if she couold come home only because she got into a fight with her mother and her mother told her to get out. Well its been ok her for the last few days but we'll see.. A pot smoking zebra doesnt change its habits over night.


but again LADIES THAT IS A CHILD THAT HAS RESPECT For her parents!!

Yes I understand that her mom and dad did create these monsters but if they arent going to respect their parents they will respect no one!!

One a postitive note SD has gotten a part time job so i'm hoping this is going to keep her too busy to get into trouble!! Son on the other hand is a lazy butt and have yet to even hand out applications......

Originally Posted by BeautyBootyBabe

I can't believe people are jumping on you for "not respecting" your step-kids and/or not parenting them "properly". I completely understand where you are coming from. My mom married a man with three teenage girls. They were so sweet and fun and nice for the first year and then my mom and their dad got married, they bought a house together, and the girls turned into complete psycho B-words. It was ridiculous. They were lazy, lied all the time, constantly asked for money, etc. In their defense, their mom was a psycho-B word as well, so they got it honest, I guess. At 17 and 18, their beds has basically been made. it's too late to instill the values you want because they only have to follow your rules temporarily - until they go to their mom's. When they come back, it's like starting from scratch again. It's a pointless and endless cycle. Just wait it out. My mom had to do it as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it completely sucks!

Well its only fair that I whine about the bad I brag about the good.

SD got caught again smoking pot in the house, posting such pictures on twitter, you name it.
Dad final stood behind his threat of losing her privacy and she lost her bedroom door!! Happy dance as I would have done this long ago.
Anyway she wasnt happy (of course) and ran to her mothers.. If that wasnt enough condoning big brother (who is 18) sat on the end of his bed protesting that she didnt have a door.. He sat there like a 5 yr old that just had all his hot wheels stolen...

OMG!!

So he left with baby sister... about 3 days later S/O called and said you know what stay there for a while, if you think its better there stay there for a bit... ( meaning until he cools down and can regroup with what he's going to do with these kids)

the 18 yr old has no desire to get off his a$$ and look for summer job, does nothing but run up the internet and stay in his room, and in fact was on the edge of failing school this year.

So about a week of being at moms, sd calls and says come get me... So off her goes, told her she can have a blanket on the door but thats it.. and it was that way for about 2-3 weeks. her brother never came back.. In fact the next morning after leaving (on his own) he txt everyone in the family and told them he was kicked out of the house. .... A LIE! he packed his suitcase and left pouting like a 5 yr old.

moving forward....
sd has found a part time job, is happier, when asked to do something she does it, actually sits and chats now.. I cant believe the change in her (and all for the good)

big brother still isnt here he's at moms still. with no plans for the summer. But whatever!

SD on the other hand, is helping out around the house and things are great so far. The other day after she came home from work we had a great talk about stuff and how she has been since coming back/and brother being gone...

the house is actually livable now...
On a sad note I am dreading brother coming home because I have a feeling stuff is going to revert back to the way it was... :(